Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Lucas caught a case while he’s been phone-less

I'm surprised it took so long for that to happen. I'm looking forward to him calling the judge a classist

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

Not stealing @ThomasAudley 's thunder but here is the confiscated bill Lucas posted on the bulletin board, if you don't want to download or skim through the report.
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"Are women not smarter and empathetic?" I love him getting defensive on his own Attraction Sign.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

This is the culmination of a lack of fresh Wern insanity, and its entirely worth it. That part about the student randomly going about his or her business and casually glancing to the Wernbuck taped to a communal posterboard was especially funny to imagine it playing out in your head.

On 02-02-2021 at approximately 0705, while unlocking Building #16, I happened to glance at the bulletin board located near the east entrance of the building. My attention was drawn to a dollar bill pinned to the board. Closer inspection of the bill revealed personal writing which was essentially an add. I checked both sides of the dollar bill but did not locate the college stamp indicating that it had been authorized for posting. After obtaining a couple of photos of the dollar bill, it was removed for violating the CCS posting policy. The dollar bill was then taken to the OCS office where it was entered as Found Property. The photos and also a scanned copy of each side of the bill have been saved to the digital media section. On the back of the bill (the side shown while it was posted), the add stated: Trying to form a study group-Bio + Health. In the middle of the bill it normally states In God We Trust. God was crossed out and the name of Wern was written below. Below that was a phone number (509) 715-5449. At the very bottom of the bill was written: 1 man. 4 people. Are women not smarter and empathic? There have been similar postings around campus. The name of Wern refers to student Lucas Werner. I checked, and the phone number on the bill matches one of the numbers for Werner. Specifically it is his currently listed cell phone number in ctcLink. As Student Services personnel have been dealing with the postings, I called and spoke with Employee Connan Campbell. He was informed of the dollar bill add and then later provided with the scanned copies.

Apparently he posted this shit all over campus.
I wonder if he dropped out do to failing or if the school ended up taking early steps of disciplinary action first. It seems that this was all taking place the first week of February, shortly preceding his sudden end to posting of his SCC saga.

Truly, PhD material right there!

Isn't it a crime to destroy or deface currency also? I guess if this bill can be put back into circulation he'll be let off the hook for that one. Hopefully he doesn't get the bright idea to deface all of his currency so its not worth stealing with his name plastered all over it.View attachment 2121993

Defacing currency is a weird law that's hard to prosecute.
I don't know the specifics of it, but your average layman can get away with destroying currency for expression (i.e. its not illegal for me to make a paper-mache sculpture with dollar bills) or for protest (i.e. let me burn some cash outside the Federal Reserve in protest).

 

[AnOminous]

Defacing currency is a weird law that's hard to prosecute.
I don't know the specifics of it, but your average layman can get away with destroying currency for expression (i.e. its not illegal for me to make a paper-mache sculpture with dollar bills) or for protest (i.e. let me burn some cash outside the Federal Reserve in protest).

It's a bizarre law because after interpretation by the courts it no longer means what it actually says and you have to have some kind of intent to defraud. For instance, the First Amendment may protect actually burning money as a protest or for some form of expression. And you've probably all seen those machines that literally destroy a penny or other coin and turn it into a medallion when you turn the crank. These are legal even though they obviously keep the currency from returning into circulation.

And you can stamp things on money or write on it, like Lucas did. It's probably not illegal. Maybe if you were shaving off metal from the coin to melt it down and sell it, but that's not really practical because of the reeded edges most coins have now, as well as the fact that most coins have minimal amounts of precious metal in them anyway. And coins actually made of precious metals are usually worth more intact than if you melted them down.

So Lucas isn't going to get in trouble for this, except from the college for fucking around with their bulletin boards.

 

[teleméres69]

Can Lucas go more than a month without being arrested?

Lucas caught a case while he’s been phone-less

Dream Chaser is crazy herself, but it was funny to see someone besides you able to get under his skin. From what I remember these were places he thought users from Fetlife either worked at or frequented and he was being his usual bumcel self

I was assuming it was this stupid shit. I really didn't appreciate dream chaser's contributions to trolling Lucas.

So they did nothing and somehow viewed him as not a threat? I want to say I'm surprised, but I'm not

SCC campus security sent me their reports on Lucas. They have two. Sorry for being gay but I'm gonna make two posts. They sent them in PDF and some faggots, not naming who, used their real emails and info to tattle on the homey Luke.

I redacted out this report with black boxes but when I save it as a PDF you can still copy and paste the text. SCC redacted out in white and notated [1A] - this is a reference to FERPA, a federal law that prohibits schools from disclosing info about students such as their address, etc. Conveniently his weight of 297 is still on there, likely pulled from his park incident. I thought to print it and rescan it, but Lucas isn't worth my toner so instead I have converted the report into PNG. Here are two of my favorite lines:

"After reviewing numerous posts, I am not sure what the correlation between Rodger and Werner is, other than both not being able to have a girlfriend. Werner has been posting about wanting a Gen "Z" girl, even though he is 41 years old." Even campus PD thinks it's not in the cards.


"Each of the emails talks about Werner's past, how he is violent, has fits of rage, and that the author does not want anyone to get hurt. There are some video links which redirect you to YouTube videos. These videos have been previously reviewed, and most of them are over a year old."

This is the kind of edgy retard shit that really makes me appreciate how exceptional Lucas is offline without any encouragement from trolls

Just lol at this one.

Probably right, Lucas often does stupid shit that I can only theorise he believes other people are not smart enough to catch. I imagine the message probably reads something along the lines of
"Beware local creep; Lucas Colby Werner. Smells of urine and onions, resembles Shrek meets Harvey Weinstein, and has a habit of preying on women half his age or younger"

looks like 2nd degree criminal trespass, a misdemeanor. in theory, it's often a catch a release, at least in every jurisdication i've worked with since it boils down to being kicked out of a public place and then someone catches you there again. often it's not worth persuing for a legal remedy due to costs involved, and it's generally plead out for probation. maybe WA is different, but i doubt it - i would bet he tried sneaking into a shelter and was found out. disposition entry is blank, so it seems Lucas ducked out of being pinched and instead was merely reported for it (local staff i guess have a bulletin on him).

also is that a ripped-in-half star-of-david on either side of Washington? wtf

So Lucas is confirmed no longer a student? Kinda wild how quickly he started his weird shit, but given how Lucas is Chris Chan mixed with Elliot Rodger, it's not that shocking. I can't wait for the third time in a row Lucas tries going to SCC and does more dumb shit on campus that gets completely enabled

This is the culmination of a lack of fresh Wern insanity, and its entirely worth it. That part about the student randomly going about his or her business and casually glancing to the Wernbuck taped to a communal posterboard was especially funny to imagine it playing out in your head.



Apparently he posted this shit all over campus.
I wonder if he dropped out do to failing or if the school ended up taking early steps of disciplinary action first. It seems that this was all taking place the first week of February, shortly preceding his sudden end to posting of his SCC saga.

Truly, PhD material right there!


Defacing currency is a weird law that's hard to prosecute.
I don't know the specifics of it, but your average layman can get away with destroying currency for expression (i.e. its not illegal for me to make a paper-mache sculpture with dollar bills) or for protest (i.e. let me burn some cash outside the Federal Reserve in protest).

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

So Lucas is confirmed no longer a student? Kinda wild how quickly he started his weird shit, but given how Lucas is Chris Chan mixed with Elliot Rodger, it's not that shocking. I can't wait for the third time in a row Lucas tries going to SCC and does more dumb shit on campus that gets completely enabled

The prevailing opinion on KF was that Lucas flunked out, because he stopped posting about his homework and "me chilling in the student union, baes hit me up" right around mid-terms. After this he was posting at hours when he otherwise should have been in class but instead was wandering the bus stop.

Now, however, it seems the school did take the information regarding Lucas Werner seriously, as well as taking some kind of action about his crazy attraction signs he left up around campus.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

It's a bizarre law because after interpretation by the courts it no longer means what it actually says and you have to have some kind of intent to defraud. For instance, the First Amendment may protect actually burning money as a protest or for some form of expression. And you've probably all seen those machines that literally destroy a penny or other coin and turn it into a medallion when you turn the crank. These are legal even though they obviously keep the currency from returning into circulation.

And you can stamp things on money or write on it, like Lucas did. It's probably not illegal. Maybe if you were shaving off metal from the coin to melt it down and sell it, but that's not really practical because of the reeded edges most coins have now, as well as the fact that most coins have minimal amounts of precious metal in them anyway. And coins actually made of precious metals are usually worth more intact than if you melted them down.

So Lucas isn't going to get in trouble for this, except from the college for fucking around with their bulletin boards.

This is really interesting confirming what you said about defacing money and free speech

Spoiler: Defacing Bank Notes

When Leonard Nimoy died a bunch of people in Canada turned Sir Wilfred Laurier into Spock. The Bank of Canada couldn’t do anything about it except implore the Canadian public not to deface money since it shortens the lifespan of bills in circulation and it’s dishonouring national symbols. Also retailers can refuse to take money that has been defaced.

 

[LeeLoo]

Not stealing @ThomasAudley 's thunder but here is the confiscated bill Lucas posted on the bulletin board, if you don't want to download or skim through the report.

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This right here could not be a better representation of Fatty’s Swiss cheese MRSA infested fish brain. A study group poster on a dollar bill? With his name replacing God?

We know he fancies himself the George Clooney of the bar scene and homeless shelters, but the fact that he thought a fat, dirty, piss soaked 40 year old bum would be a sought after study buddy goes to show how deep his delusions run. He’s not just plenty good, he’s damn fucking good.

Seriously, what in the actual fuck is he seeing when he looks on the mirror? Does he have the Mirror of Erised?? Fat fucking cunt.

 

[mothman96]

If they're stupid enough to bother campus security with this nonsense (after being told no one gives a shit what people 'from the internet' think) and they're stupid enough to use real emails or emails attatched to this site somehow, they deserve a place with Wern in the thread.

I've got nothing against people reporting the POS. That way if something were to happen and he goes psycho on someone, they can't fall back on "We didn't know he posed a threat".

 

[Josef Mengele]

I hope if he comes back next semester, his attraction signs evoke a response that is akin to the Mary Lee Walsh saga. It is only a matter of time until he gets his new phone, tardbux, and spergs out again, and it will be glorious. I am hoping he sees all of the new info dumps here and completely rees out. I really hope someone makes another documentary about him, his recent escapades have been really funny.

 

[BowlOfDick]

I’m not a member of anything remotely Lucas related on my main FB account, and this shows up on a school friend’s feed:

 

[ThomasAudley]

I’m not a member of anything remotely Lucas related on my main FB account, and this shows up on a school friend’s feed:

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He almost looks normal in that pic.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

I’m not a member of anything remotely Lucas related on my main FB account, and this shows up on a school friend’s feed:

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Look at all those high chairs behind him. He will never have need of those. Sweet sweet reminders of his lack of potential.

 

[mothman96]

Look at all those high chairs behind him. He will never have need of those. Sweet sweet reminders of his lack of potential.

Looks like he's in a family restaurant. Now think of the POS Predator giving that sleazy smile at a gen Alpha.

 

[LeeLoo]

I’m not a member of anything remotely Lucas related on my main FB account, and this shows up on a school friend’s feed:

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Even when he looks semi sane, he’s such an unattractive person. Big beak nose, huge horse teeth, grotesquely huge head and face, stringy unkempt hair, and his body is a sack of potatoes. He’s just so physically repulsive in every conceivable way.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Even when he looks semi sane, he’s such an unattractive person. Big beak nose, huge horse teeth, grotesquely huge head and face, stringy unkempt hair, and his body is a sack of potatoes. He’s just so physically repulsive in every conceivable way.

It’s funny too how most of the pictures he takes of himself are super unflattering angles along with with his forced creepy ass smile and dilated pupils that look hungry enough to devour a soul. The picture on the left of Chris Hansen almost looks as though he tried to put some effort into his looks for once. To power level a little as a male I don’t really know what constitutes good looks or bad looks in a man besides the obvious indicators of self care and overall health. I’ve never put much conscious effort into it besides shaving, getting haircuts, dressing appropriately and watching my waistline. With Lucas I get the sense the repulsive bad looks we see are from his poor health, bad looking skin and hair for one. Also the deadened eyes and the way he physically carries himself are all red flags. I feel if he was well adjusted and sane some of his other features could be overlooked and he might be considered mildly attractive I don’t know. When you see someone is crazy, unhealthy or really stupid their attractiveness goes down majorly. If I didn’t know anything about Lucas and saw one of his pictures I’d think there was something off about him. I’m not sure if there is a female equivalent of Lucas Werner for comparison maybe Shanny For Christ who is a repulsive female lolcow.

Just imagine Lucas and Shanny having offspring.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Even when he looks semi sane, he’s such an unattractive person. Big beak nose, huge horse teeth, grotesquely huge head and face, stringy unkempt hair, and his body is a sack of potatoes. He’s just so physically repulsive in every conceivable way.

Mother nature finds a way to close off them genetic dead ends.

 

[LeeLoo]

It’s funny too how most of the pictures he takes of himself are super unflattering angles along with with his forced creepy ass smile and dilated pupils that look hungry enough to devour a soul. The picture on the left of Chris Hansen almost looks as though he tried to put some effort into his looks for once. To power level a little as a male I don’t really know what constitutes good looks or bad looks in a man besides the obvious indicators of self care and overall health. I’ve never put much conscious effort into it besides shaving, getting haircuts, dressing appropriately and watching my waistline. With Lucas I get the sense the repulsive bad looks we see are from his poor health, bad looking skin and hair for one. Also the deadened eyes and the way he physically carries himself are all red flags. I feel if he was well adjusted and sane some of his other features could be overlooked and he might be considered mildly attractive I don’t know. When you see someone is crazy, unhealthy or really stupid their attractiveness goes down majorly. If I didn’t know anything about Lucas and saw one of his pictures I’d think there was something off about him. I’m not sure if there is a female equivalent of Lucas Werner for comparison maybe Shanny For Christ who is a repulsive female lolcow.
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Just imagine Lucas and Shanny having offspring.

If Lucas actually got in shape, cut and combed his greasy mullet, brushed his teeth, and showered, he may look semi presentable. IMO though, I don’t think he’s an attractive person. Even if he were fit, it’s clear his head and face, especially his mouth and jaw, are huge compared to the rest of him. He still also has a huge beak of a nose, and his fake teeth don’t look good.

 

[Chucky McDurban]

looks like 2nd degree criminal trespass, a misdemeanor. in theory, it's often a catch a release, at least in every jurisdication i've worked with since it boils down to being kicked out of a public place and then someone catches you there again. often it's not worth persuing for a legal remedy due to costs involved, and it's generally plead out for probation. maybe WA is different, but i doubt it - i would bet he tried sneaking into a shelter and was found out. disposition entry is blank, so it seems Lucas ducked out of being pinched and instead was merely reported for it (local staff i guess have a bulletin on him).

also is that a ripped-in-half star-of-david on either side of Washington? wtf

The easy answer is that street life has finally toughened lucas and he has become a member of the Gangster Disciples.

 

[Windex]

My favorite part: “I checked both sides of the bill but did not locate the college stamp that it was authorized for posting.”

Thanks to those in the thread who obtain these things, and those who snap photos when seeing him around town, it is appreciated by those of us (blessedly) far away from Wern (in whom we trust).