Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Krathnami]

Off topic, but would you suggest I switch majors? I'm not too deep into the sw track.

It’s never too late to switch, but the downside is you’ll be in college longer. That said, a degree in social work doesn’t mean you have to be a social worker. There’s still tons of nonprofits you could work for. Right now I’m a salesman, but I’m exploring my options for getting back into working for another organization. I don’t wanna jack up the thread so feel free to message me privately if you wanna talk about it.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Switch to majoring in Age Gap Breeding.

Honestly Dr. Niggae Luke was one of my favorite sagas.

The idea of Lucas writing a 20,000 page thesis also makes me laugh indefinitely.

 

[Da Dude123]

I can just see the fat cow waddling up to some young woman in the mall with his filthy clothing and smells and his east and west feet, along with his NES backpack asking. "Are you 18? You're really beautiful. I'm Lucas and I would like to buy you subway." I just wish he still had the batman pantaloonies.

The girl would be freaked out. Security would tell him to leave and possibly never return.
He thinks of the most exceptional things. If he did this and it made the news we would be absolutely ecstatic. This is up there with some of the stupidist things he has ever said.

Edit: What would he do if she said: "Oh, I am 23"? Would he say "never mind" and then waddle off?

 

[Krathnami]

I’ve got to say I’m proud of the owl guys for recognizing they’re stoking the ego of a child sexual predator and washing their hands of it. If they’ve got a few highlights, I wouldn’t mind seeing them just for their contributions to the study of Wernology, but let’s be honest—Lucas content that he doesn’t generate usually sucks because in spite of his cow status, he’s extremely dull. The Geek Room is unlistenable, and except for a few noteworthy moments (getting a ticket and the ultimate meltdown), Goldork got very little out of him in hours of content. Glad Goldork left in shame decided to focus on school and is no longer appeasing sex pests.

 

[IceQueen]

Lucas posted a whole ton of words in the comments section for that latest "song" video. Most of it was pseudoscience babble but there was also this part. Where he recommends walking up to teenagers in the mall and opening with "Are you 18?" And then offer to buy them subway. He's like Jared before the weight loss.
View attachment 2339486

I absolutely love that the moron truly thinks a woman being "hot" means she is healthy and smart as well. Fucking idiot.

 

[Josef Mengele]

Honestly Dr. Niggae Luke was one of my favorite sagas.

The idea of Lucas writing a 20,000 page thesis also makes me laugh indefinitely.

Couldn't agree with you more the delusions of grandeur were amazing with this cow, it was just this January when he was flunking bio, now I guess the only things he is writing now are attraction signs and his name on community court documents acknowledging the charges levied against him.

 

[dirtydeanna96]

determine if he's making more than he should, hoarding the money he made that way without declaring it or faking his illness

We know he's not faking, and Lucas is unable to save anything on his own, much less hoard his tugboat

A hypothetical... Give Lucas $1M a year (no handler or payee) every Jan 1 and every cent would be gone by February 1, every year.
Leaving no money for taxes, food, housing, or simple things like toilet paper.

 

[Twrx]

We know he's not faking, and Lucas is unable to save anything on his own, much less hoard his tugboat

A hypothetical... Give Lucas $1M a year (no handler or payee) every Jan 1 and every cent would be gone by February 1, every year.
Leaving no money for taxes, food, housing, or simple things like toilet paper.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. That shit would be gone by the 15th

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. That shit would be gone by the 15th

Lucas would take it all out in cash so he could walk around with it in a briefcase like a big shot and flash it to people outside the swanky hotels in Spokane until he gets jumped brutally beaten and robbed.

Edit: I like this question as a hypothetical in general but with Lucas I don’t think he would be aware of what he could do with one million dollars or what kind of possibilities that would open up even for a guy like him in his sorry state. I don’t think with his petty way of viewing the world and thinking patterns it would change his behaviour, he would just have more resources to eat better and live large for a while

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Lucas would take it all out in cash so he could walk around with it in a briefcase like a big shot and flash it to people outside the swanky hotels in Spokane until he gets jumped brutally beaten and robbed.

Edit: I like this question as a hypothetical in general but with Lucas I don’t think he would be aware of what he could do with one million dollars or what kind of possibilities that would open up even for a guy like him in his sorry state. I don’t think with his petty way of viewing the world and thinking patterns it would change his behaviour, he would just have more resources to eat better and live large for a while

Im on the fence. Lucas really overestimates his ability to budget. He would set aside a certain amount for monthly food and expenses, and then immediately blow through it. He did that each and every stimulus and monthly check. The stimulus and financial aid monies actually made it worse. He was so flush that he’d think he could splurge and then end up broke and hungry a week before the next disability payment. The two times I recall best are when he was in the motel after LA claiming he needed a dollar for the bus to court or he’d have to walk in the snow. He had spent all his money (or Geek Room’s) on food and motel 6. Then in March before the stimulus he was begging for food at STA plaza offering to do cameos.

When he got financial aid monies, he spent a lot on dumb board games. I do think a million dollars would last longer than a month, but he would absolutely be broke far sooner than any other human on earth. He’d spend a huge amount on high priced food and board games, then he would use a ton to cater to whatever homeless crowd he thinks would hook him up. Then buy a downtown condo/flat that he would assume would attract baes but would just end up a total pigsty. If he bought a car he would crash it and immediately replace it with a more expensive one and pretend that was planned. None would be invested or donated to the homeless. He wouldn’t donate to research on telomeres (he can do his own) and his family would get nothing.
The one investment he’d make is renting billboards and a website for his attraction signs. That’s the only thing besides needlessly expensive food that I’m sure he would buy.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Im on the fence. Lucas really overestimates his ability to budget. He would set aside a certain amount for monthly food and expenses, and then immediately blow through it. He did that each and every stimulus and monthly check. The stimulus and financial aid monies actually made it worse. He was so flush that he’d think he could splurge and then end up broke and hungry a week before the next disability payment. The two times I recall best are when he was in the motel after LA claiming he needed a dollar for the bus to court or he’d have to walk in the snow. He had spent all his money (or Geek Room’s) on food and motel 6. Then in March before the stimulus he was begging for food at STA plaza offering to do cameos.

When he got financial aid monies, he spent a lot on dumb board games. I do think a million dollars would last longer than a month, but he would absolutely be broke far sooner than any other human on earth. He’d spend a huge amount on high priced food and board games, then he would use a ton to cater to whatever homeless crowd he thinks would hook him up. Then buy a downtown condo/flat that he would assume would attract baes but would just end up a total pigsty. If he bought a car he would crash it and immediately replace it with a more expensive one and pretend that was planned. None would be invested or donated to the homeless. He wouldn’t donate to research on telomeres (he can do his own) and his family would get nothing.
The one investment he’d make is renting billboards and a website for his attraction signs. That’s the only thing besides needlessly expensive food that I’m sure he would buy.

I'd almost want to see that just to see him fall hard on his ass after losing everything. A lot of people who win the lottery lose it all for similar reasons, they buy a house that they couldn't realistically afford, vacations, boats, cars, fancy dinners etc. and then find out they can't afford to pay property taxes and all of the other expenses of a luxury lifestyle and get a rude awakening that they weren't really as rich and set up for life as they thought they were. Simplest trick, put it all in the bank in a mutual fund for a rainy day, take out only what you need, live within your means and don't tell anyone about it. Use the money only as a vehicle for making more money and getting a job that pays well so you can support a family (or live in a tiny home somewhere in nature on a plot of land with a good climate, grow your own food without ever having to work again for the rest of your life and be self sufficient that way.) Do what you want with the rest after you are secure on your own two feet. That much money in one sum can easily go to anyones head and make someone do stupid things. Lucas's use of that money would be comical, maybe he would get laid by some ho's who can tolerate being fisted, but the concept of security and future planning are foreign concepts to Lucas, I'd give it a week tops before the money is gone.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I'd almost want to see that just to see him fall hard on his ass after losing everything. A lot of people who win the lottery lose it all for similar reasons, they buy a house that they couldn't realistically afford, vacations, boats, cars, fancy dinners etc. and then find out they can't afford to pay property taxes and all of the other expenses of a luxury lifestyle and get a rude awakening that they weren't really as rich and set up for life as they thought they were. Simplest trick, put it all in the bank in a mutual fund for a rainy day, take out only what you need, live within your means and don't tell anyone about it. Use the money only as a vehicle for making more money and getting a job that pays well so you can support a family (or live in a tiny home somewhere in nature on a plot of land with a good climate, grow your own food without ever having to work again for the rest of your life and be self sufficient that way.) Do what you want with the rest after you are secure on your own two feet. That much money in one sum can easily go to anyones head and make someone do stupid things. Lucas's use of that money would be comical, maybe he would get laid by some ho's who can tolerate being fisted, but the concept of security and future planning are foreign concepts to Lucas, I'd give it a week tops before the money is gone.

But what a week.

So many, many pictures of him holding uncooked slabs of meat in his disgusting, black-edged fake teeth, (I like the idea that clinkerdagger sees Lucas's name on the order slip, and then just gives the prime rib the most cursory pan fry, leaving it almost entirely cold and raw. They rationalize, "It's lucas. He won't know the difference.".... Actually, they likely don't even need his name. An order of prime rib to the motel 6? Yeah, it's Lucas.) lying on his back, taking sips from a glass of Pepsi with 3 Snickers bars and a handful of Skittles in it. You know, a "Shirley Temple".

 

[CuteThoughBuiltGood]

These retards finally posted the interview

 

[Da Dude123]

I love the idea of Lucas carrying the money around in a brief case and showing it off, only to get jumped and lose it. Moooo! He would turn into an oligarch in a second if he had that much money. The funny thing would be how he would lose his tugboat. Of course, this is all fan fiction.

 

[Huge Fungus]

Fellow spergs Kiwis, I am deeply saddened to inform you that our cow will likely be on extended hiatus until further notice. At approximately 9:40pm Pacific time on July 12th, Lucas Werner was dragged screaming to the puzzle factory by men with butterfly nets, and fate would have it that I was there to witness and document it.

As I got off my bus downtown, I heard somebody screaming from the other side of the STA Plaza, and decided to go investigate the commotion. A small crowd of gawkers had formed, and upon peering over their shoulders, I stopped dead in my tracks; instead of some tweaker flatbill, the man they were staring at was none other than the telomerase King himself, restrained belly-down on the ground and surrounded by jerkops.

That piggy was screaming at the top of his lungs about greed and how he just wants a Gen Z lady, and making all the people waiting for their night bus visually uncomfortable. Several exasperated transit officers, who wear red shirts, wordlessly kept him restrained on the ground as an ambulance pulled into one of the bus slots. They allowed him to sit up and then stand, as a stretcher was unloaded by medical personnel. They tied him into the stretcher like an animal, then slowly carted him into the ambulance as he continued yelling and raving.

Some notable excerpts included:
"I WANT A GENERATION Z WOMAN. WHERE ARE THEY!!??"
"GEN Z MAN, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!??"
"WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WORK FOR THEM!!?? YOU ALL WORK FOR GREED!! GREEEEEDYYYY!!!"

In typical form, there were almost no Gen Z people on the bus platform that evening.

I started taking photos right away, though the thronging onlookers made it hard to do so without compromising my identity. After getting several of him on the ground, I was mortified to find that my phone would no longer take photos, as the phone had reached it's storage limit (or just because the Wern is an SCP, and naturally short-circuits recording devices near him). The camera still didn't work after deleting some apps, so I thought fast and realized it would still take videos, in spite of refusing to photograph. Sadly, this apparently overwrote the previous photos, so the only one I have left of him on the ground is quite grainy.

However, I got a good angle at him in one of the recordings, while he was on the stretcher, so the first piece of media here is a still from that video, which shows him lying restrained in a stretcher. The second file, a video, is an audio sample of his screaming, visually cropped to leave out my legs. While the subject isn't X <3 Z related, I'm sure you can recognize his voice. The third image is a lone, blurry cryptid photograph of him sitting upright on the ground. And the fourth one is a short clip of them rasing the stretcher after restraining him in it. I only wish I could have been there to see whatever incident it was that led to him getting taken down and hauled off like this; now THAT would be some content.

This is a dark day for Wernology, though there's hope this milk drought might end when he gets out of the hospital, gets medicated, and inevitably gets back on teh interwebz. I'm looking forward to watching that AutistOwls interview, now that I know he's at the literal height of his derangement in it. They doubtless dawdled on releasing it because the footage radiates big "Chad schizophrenic VS virgin wannabe-vloggers" energy. Here's to our public health system failing society yet again by releasing this monster back onto the streets sooner rather than later (though I'm sure the young women of this city would beg to differ).

Just another evening at Spokane Transit...

 

[Poop Shoot]

Holy shit, that’s a hell of an update.

 

[Krathnami]

These retards finally posted the interview

I’m so over their faux wigger bullshit

 

[Stornoway]

Last time he was in for how long? 9 months? Who knows if he ever gets out of the clink now.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Knew hed be back soon, it seems to be a cycle for him. He sounded absolutely animalistic in that first video lol yikes.

 

[Da Dude123]

Fellow spergs Kiwis, I am deeply saddened to inform you that our cow will likely be on extended hiatus until further notice. At approximately 9:40pm Pacific time on July 12th, Lucas Werner was dragged screaming to the puzzle factory by men with butterfly nets, and fate would have it that I was there to witness and document it.

As I got off my bus downtown, I heard somebody screaming from the other side of the STA Plaza, and decided to go investigate the commotion. A small crowd of gawkers had formed, and upon peering over their shoulders, I stopped dead in my tracks; instead of some tweaker flatbill, the man they were staring at was none other than the telomerase King himself, restrained belly-down on the ground and surrounded by jerkops.

That piggy was screaming at the top of his lungs about greed and how he just wants a Gen Z lady, and making all the people waiting for their night bus visually uncomfortable. Several exasperated transit officers, who wear red shirts, wordlessly kept him restrained on the ground as an ambulance pulled into one of the bus slots. They allowed him to sit up and then stand, as a stretcher was unloaded by medical personnel. They tied him into the stretcher like an animal, then slowly carted him into the ambulance as he continued yelling and raving.

Some notable excerpts included:
"I WANT A GENERATION Z WOMAN. WHERE ARE THEY!!??"
"GEN Z MAN, WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!??"
"WHY DO YOU PEOPLE WORK FOR THEM!!?? YOU ALL WORK FOR GREED!! GREEEEEDYYYY!!!"

In typical form, there were almost no Gen Z people on the bus platform that evening.

I started taking photos right away, though the thronging onlookers made it hard to do so without compromising my identity. After getting several of him on the ground, I was mortified to find that my phone would no longer take photos, as the phone had reached it's storage limit (or just because the Wern is an SCP, and naturally short-circuits recording devices near him). The camera still didn't work after deleting some apps, so I thought fast and realized it would still take videos, in spite of refusing to photograph. Sadly, this apparently overwrote the previous photos, so the only one I have left of him on the ground is quite grainy.

However, I got a good angle at him in one of the recordings, while he was on the stretcher, so the first piece of media here is a still from that video, which shows him lying restrained in a stretcher. The second file, a video, is an audio sample of his screaming, visually cropped to leave out my legs. While the subject isn't X <3 Z related, I'm sure you can recognize his voice. The third image is a lone, blurry cryptid photograph of him sitting upright on the ground. And the fourth one is a short clip of them rasing the stretcher after restraining him in it. I only wish I could have been there to see whatever incident it was that led to him getting taken down and hauled off like this; now THAT would be some content.

This is a dark day for Wernology, though there's hope this milk drought might end when he gets out of the hospital, gets medicated, and inevitably gets back on teh interwebz. I'm looking forward to watching that AutistOwls interview, now that I know he's at the literal height of his derangement in it. They doubtless dawdled on releasing it because the footage radiates big "Chad schizophrenic VS virgin wannabe-vloggers" energy. Here's to our public health system failing society yet again by releasing this monster back onto the streets sooner rather than later (though I'm sure the young women of this city would beg to differ).

Just another evening at Spokane Transit...

Plenty good update. I hope some other gawkers got photos and videos of this incident. I can't make out what he is screaming. It is just incoherent screaming and reeing, but it sounds like our moo cow. Lol! Bigots, reeee!