Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
youtu.be

If Money Don't Get The Honies

youtu.be youtu.be

The end of this is classic. Lucas threatens to punch the screen, to knock someone out in the chat, thinks better of it, and spits on his own computer.

Outburst starts at 1:50:35

IMHO it's the funniest Lucas content in the past 6 months.
Click to expand...
It looked like he was on the verge of grabbing his phone and throwing it at the wall.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: SpiceyHuman, grapeshark77, GleamingTheQ-Bert and 3 others
mothman96 said:
It looked like he was on the verge of grabbing his phone and throwing it at the wall.
Click to expand...
He came off as completely mental during that mini freakout. Its likely what happened to his previous 'lost' phones. He read something that pissed him off and threw them until they broke. He had better be careful about the spitting thing though. Its one thing to try to act like a moronic tough guy like he did in this video, people will ignore that shit or laugh at him. However spitting at people is something else entirely. That can set people off in a big way. Its also legally assault. If anything is going to set someone off and get his ass beaten it'll be him spitting on them. Hell there have been murders over that kind of behavior. Spit in the direction of some flatbill with a zoomer bae walking by who turns out to be a gang member and see how that gets responded to

That said, he's fortunate none of the staff happened to walk by his room and overhear him loudly flipping out saying 'i'm not trying to meet preteen girls!' like that. I mean hearing that, poking your head into his room to see wtf was going on and seeing him talking to people on the internet doesn't exactly look good. Especially if they have any inkling at all of his history. That could have gotten him a serious talking to, if only to protect mallon from any potential legal problems if it turned out he was doing something creepy online at any point

He claims he knows he's a good person. Cause good people totally have DV and stalking convictions, solicit nudes from a 17 year old in VA and talk publicly about how 4 year olds come up to them in the mall talking about sex with him. Good people totally try to groom 15 year olds with burritos as well. If you have to go out of your way to be so adamant about telling everyone how you're a good person you're probably not
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Jeep1971, saltwatertaffy, Gaear Grimsrud and 14 others
WonderWino said:
Its also legally assault.
Click to expand...
battery. spitting on someone is generally considered battery, not assault. while assault is typically a misdemeanor, battery is specifically willful intent to harm or cause to be harmed and that physical contact of some kind was made. spit counts as physical contact. battery is usually also a misdemeanor in most places (simple battery), but can also be a felony in narrow situations. because battery is a crime, it can also be enhanced as a hate crime if the victim is a protected class.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: SpiceyHuman, saltwatertaffy, Gaear Grimsrud and 5 others
1635032988949.png

O_o

Edit: He looks like he's coughing up a hairball in the second one.
rage.gif
spit.gif


Edit 2: In case he somehow decides to delete his own IG comments:
1635034425798.png
 
Last edited:
  • Horrifying
  • Winner
  • Like
Reactions: Jeep1971, SpiceyHuman, saltwatertaffy and 15 others
klickitat said:
O_o
Click to expand...
his eyes always makes me think he's on uppers instead of just marijuana. glassy, unfocused, unchanging, slow. combined with ape-like grimacing that he thinks is "smiling" and his barely controlled narcissistic rage from not getting what he feels is owed, he's eternally someone i keep eyes on in order to ensure he isn't going to be a problem.

edit:
what kind of fist is that? that is not how you form a fist to punch someone. that is an awkward way to break your thumb.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Jeep1971, SpiceyHuman, saltwatertaffy and 6 others
Club Sandwich said:
his eyes always makes me think he's on uppers instead of just marijuana. glassy, unfocused, unchanging, slow. combined with ape-like grimacing that he thinks is "smiling" and his barely controlled narcissistic rage from not getting what he feels is owed, he's eternally someone i keep eyes on in order to ensure he isn't going to be a problem.
Click to expand...
If you want to see Lucas "on uppers" watch that first outcast owls video that was posted yesterday. He cannot shut up.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: mothman96, Maxxicus Callahan, WonderWino and 4 others
Club Sandwich said:
edit:
what kind of fist is that? that is not how you form a fist to punch someone. that is an awkward way to break your thumb.
Click to expand...
That's the kind of fist that a kid who has never thrown a punch makes. Marvelous contrast between Lucas's tough-guy attitude, and his decidedly non-threatening fist.
GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
youtu.be

If Money Don't Get The Honies

youtu.be youtu.be

The end of this is classic. Lucas threatens to punch the screen, to knock someone out in the chat, thinks better of it, and spits on his own phone.

Outburst starts at 1:50:35

IMHO it's the funniest Lucas content in the past 6 months.

Edit:. Lucas's posture in these recent podcasts from the Mallon House is hysterical. The way he cranes his head forward, as if he has to rest his eyeballs on the screen to be able to read it, and sits there with his mouth open, makes him look even more exceptional than he actually is. And that's saying quite a bit...
Click to expand...
His anger, while surely genuine, seems almost performative. Maybe it was the silly way he shakes his fist in menace, or the way he cartoonishly over-emotes, but he is totally unconvincing. It's delightful.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: saltwatertaffy, iMac_Hunt, Cheesegirl78 and 8 others
GleamingTheQ-Bert said:
Lucas gets fixated on things and places that reflect the fantasy version of himself that he wishes was true.

Because Lucas isn't young, and he desires young women, he tries to think of ways to present himself as being the positive alternative, and because the positive adjectives associated with older men are distinguished, sophisticated, mature, Lucas must be those things.

This is the only reason he fixated on those particular bars. Lucas is quite afraid of youth culture. He wouldn't fit in any better at a bar that caters to an older group of people, if such a thing is even possible, but he loves to think of himself as sophisticated, when in reality, Lucas is less mature than your average 16 year old guy who has an after-school job.

Lucas is literally just a whiny baby crying out for a titty.

Edit:

It's funny, Lucas mentions that he used to be into older women around the time he dated Suzanne, as if going after her was a conscious choice, rather than taking the only woman he could get.

But if there's any truth to this, it shows that Lucas, before EBT cards and social services, wanted to be taken care of above All Else. He was willing to temporarily put his pedophilic sexual fantasies on the back burner, and have sex with an older woman he wasn't attracted to, just to be guaranteed a roof and food.

At some point, Lucas realized that an EBT card and the largesse of the social system in a town like Spokane would fill all of his mommy needs, and he decided to pursue his genuine sexual desire, young girls.

Still, it's interesting to me that at one point Lucas was cynical and practical enough to pursue a woman only to the betterment of his status, much like he says about gold diggers. You could easily argue that Lucas was a gold-digging man, seeking a situation with a woman who would support him.

I mean, is that really such a stretch? That's exactly what he was doing.
Click to expand...
I think you nailed it here, he definitely was a bit of a low-level gold-digger back in the day, trading his youth and uh... whatever other qualities Suzanne apparently saw in pre-terminal Lucas, in exchange for a place to live and a sort of surrogate mother who did all the adult shit he didn't want to do. But of course that doesn't fit with Lucas' view of what gold-digging is, which is tremendously sexist and jealousy-based. To Lucas only women can gold-dig, and they do it every time they choose a non-vagrant over him.

It is very weird that he's so pro "silver fox/younger girl" and yet so sensitive to gold-digging or sugar daddy type relationships. In the real world that's probably what a lot of older male younger female relationships are to some degree, a trading of youth and beauty for the financial security of an older dude. And I'm sure those relationships are a spectrum from actual love to borderline hooker shit. Nobody is less competent to speak about or judge those relationships than a jealous incel like Lucas, though. All of Lucas' shit is filtered through the lens of him being both old AND poor, and immensely jealous of dudes who have either youth or money in any degree. But he tries to make these sweeping claims of, this should be accepted in society but not this. Young women should only breed with older men, but god fucking help you if that older man has accumulated more wealth than a hobo.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: saltwatertaffy, Krathnami, Cheesegirl78 and 6 others
Maxxicus Callahan said:
Does Lucas hear the voices of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin and Mao somewhere in the background? I don’t know why this cracks me up, lately all his communist stuff has been boring and repetitive but the daddies of communism under the chin of $KingDaddyTelomeres is making me laugh.

View attachment 2652829
Click to expand...
Hand on chin means he's a deep thinker, ladies.

Ayup.
 
  • Like
Reactions: saltwatertaffy, Cheesegirl78, Club Sandwich and 3 others
klickitat said:
View attachment 2652502
O_o

Edit: He looks like he's coughing up a hairball in the second one.
View attachment 2652548View attachment 2652549

Edit 2: In case he somehow decides to delete his own IG comments:
View attachment 2652566
Click to expand...
I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, you're the master obviously, but if you inserted that chin jutting, spitting, and autistic pseudo-punching into the beginning or end of one of your videos, I'm sure we'd all be very happy.

Just a thought.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: saltwatertaffy, iMac_Hunt, Zoomer Bae and 4 others
Svetlana Helsinki said:
A honeycomb? Once again where where a woman reigns supreme? Lmao. No one simps to these hoes more than Lucas. Tell us about the pieces, based off a queen bee.
Click to expand...
lol made me think of this, “they can’t see what you mean to me my little queen bee.” I’m going to steal you from your hive, steal you away from every man alive lol. Kinda creepy lyrics but fits with the Wern’s obsession. “I’m going to follow everywhere you go because girl there is something I want you to know.”
 
Last edited:
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: Cheesegirl78, Club Sandwich, Svetlana Helsinki and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back