Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

That's actually one of my favorite breakfasts. Minus the burned part. I'd still love to see him freak out when he gets that.

I wouldn't be surprised if he already has, though probably not to the same degree that the dementia patients freak out and start throwing it at staff. The funny thing is with all the shit they have to put up with and looking after every resident in their section they only make 50 cents more an hour than I do doing the same length of shift and only having to keep one person out of trouble. I mean imagine doing a couple years of training as a CCA or nurse, taking a job like that and barely making more than the guy who had like 3 days of training over the internet and zero actual training to deal with dementia patients. That extra 50 cents an hour is nowhere near worth it. Especially when you have to deal with speds and people like lucas as well

 

[Da Dude123]

The cow has been mooing up a storm about capitalism and defunding the police. Although, the cow is also known to mooo in the streets about how the police are "on his side" and that he will call them on you if you call him autistic or are mean to him.

Lucas being a poor cow and of simple mind, does not understand that you do not have to be rich to invest in stocks. Also, many working people have 401K accounts that are effected by how the market is doing. But, no, the cow doesn't get that.

 

[mothman96]

The cow has been mooing up a storm about capitalism and defunding the police. Although, the cow is also known to mooo in the streets about how the police are "on his side" and that he will call them on you if you call him autistic or are mean to him.

Lucas being a poor cow and of simple mind, does not understand that you do not have to be rich to invest in stocks. Also, many working people have 401K accounts that are effected by how the market is doing. But, no, the cow doesn't get that.

Yea, the insane Pedo wants to get rid of the police that keep him in line. Without the police he'd have the "freedom" to take/do what he wants. Rape any girl that catches he Pedo eyes. It hasn't occured to his rutting animal brain without the police, people would take the law into their own hands. He is already known as a predator in Spokane, how long would he last alive.

 

[WonderWino]

Yea, the insane Pedo wants to get rid of the police that keep him in line. Without the police he'd have the "freedom" to take/do what he wants. Rape any girl that catches he Pedo eyes. It hasn't occured to his rutting animal brain without the police, people would take the law into their own hands. He is already known as a predator in Spokane, how long would he last alive.

The irony is lucas both hates the cops cause they get in the way of him doing the illegal shit he wants, but even he knows they keep him from getting his ass killed for doing pedo shit and that he can use them as a weapon to try to blackmail people into giving him what he wants, but he never really considers what it would be like if his BLM 'allies' managed to get rid of the cops entirely. Can you imagine what would happen to lucas if the US reverted to an old west style of justice? He'd get lynched or shot within a week. At best he'd end up like a fatter version of this guy:

Shitting himself and throwing himself into a shit filled street after getting caught ripping someone smarter than him off. That said, I wonder if eventually lucas will try to get what he wants out of the nursing him by pulling another blackmail saga and claiming they abuse him or don't feed him properly or some shit and demand more food to keep quiet

 

[mothman96]

The irony is lucas both hates the cops cause they get in the way of him doing the illegal shit he wants, but even he knows they keep him from getting his ass killed for doing pedo shit and that he can use them as a weapon to try to blackmail people into giving him what he wants, but he never really considers what it would be like if his BLM 'allies' managed to get rid of the cops entirely. Can you imagine what would happen to lucas if the US reverted to an old west style of justice? He'd get lynched or shot within a week. At best he'd end up like a fatter version of this guy:

Shitting himself and throwing himself into a shit filled street after getting caught ripping someone smarter than him off. That said, I wonder if eventually lucas will try to get what he wants out of the nursing him by pulling another blackmail saga and claiming they abuse him or don't feed him properly or some shit and demand more food to keep quiet

Yup, it's likely the insane Pedo wouldn't last a week. I'd say if he tried blackmail at Mallon Place, he'd be booted back out to the street.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Anarcho-Communism is an understandable ideal thought process for someone stuck in Mallon Place, as they have as little personal property as it gets, and we know Lucas wants everyone to share the wealth. I assume Lucas listened to some roommates over the past few days rambling about it. Political Lucas is so boring, he's like a college kid living in his mom's basement thinking they have all the answers.

 

[mothman96]

Anarcho-Communism is an understandable ideal thought process for someone stuck in Mallon Place, as they have as little personal property as it gets, and we know Lucas wants everyone to share the wealth. I assume Lucas listened to some roommates over the past few days rambling about it. Political Lucas is so boring, he's like a college kid living in his mom's basement thinking they have all the answers.

I don't think it was the roommates. It's all coming from his insane rutting animal greedy brain.

 

[Trayvon Fartin]

Anarcho-Communism is an understandable ideal thought process for someone stuck in Mallon Place, as they have as little personal property as it gets, and we know Lucas wants everyone to share the wealth. I assume Lucas listened to some roommates over the past few days rambling about it. Political Lucas is so boring, he's like a college kid living in his mom's basement thinking they have all the answers.

Lucas wishes he was living in his mom’s basement.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

animal greedy brain

Would Lucas find himself in paradise if he woke up the next morning in a jungle, returned to monke?

 

[SteveGoatman]

WHAT.
A.
FUCKING.
LOSER.

Wow. Absolutely wow.

These messages serve as a good reminder that anybody who finds themselves feeling any pity for Lucas (for whatever reason) should remember that he is a terrible person. Regardless of any challenges he has, or has had, in his life he is, at his core, simply a bad person.

 

[Jeep1971]

That radioactive induced rage story is another of his imagined maladies.
Yeah he's the "Incredible Bulk". Radiation doesn't make him grow or turn green. It just makes him tard rage.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

These messages serve as a good reminder that anybody who finds themselves feeling any pity for Lucas (for whatever reason) should remember that he is a terrible person. Regardless of any challenges he has, or has had, in his life he is, at his core, simply a bad person.

This was back in 2015, before Lucas had any notoriety as a lolcow or many people fucking with him. I think some believe Lucas isn't that bad when he's not feeling hostility due to everyone trolling and catfishing him today, but that's not the case. He's a predator only interested in young pussy, and the second he feels its out of range, he'll lash out like this.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas wishes he was living in his mom’s basement.

If he ever got back to his parents basement he would try to pull a bart and establish himself as the silverback of the house

......unfortunately for him he'd end up homer

That radioactive induced rage story is another of his imagined maladies.
Yeah he's the "Incredible Bulk". Radiation doesn't make him grow or turn green. It just makes him tard rage.

So.....it turns him in to an obese, schizo version of ben stillers character from mystery men?

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

The cow has been mooing up a storm about capitalism and defunding the police. Although, the cow is also known to mooo in the streets about how the police are "on his side" and that he will call them on you if you call him autistic or are mean to him.

Lucas being a poor cow and of simple mind, does not understand that you do not have to be rich to invest in stocks. Also, many working people have 401K accounts that are effected by how the market is doing. But, no, the cow doesn't get that.

Lol Lucas isn't living paycheck to paycheck, because he doesn't receive a paycheck.

Would Lucas find himself in paradise if he woke up the next morning in a jungle, returned to monke?

No, he'd shit himself and cower while the other apes chased him off for being a useless freeloader who tries to have sex with the immature females.

 

[Twrx]

Reading through those messages again, where does he come up with these words. He never uses them right, and usually mispronounces them. Does he pull out a dictionary, flip through the pages, randomly puts his finger on a word and decides to use it?

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Reading through those messages again, where does he come up with these words.

Reminds me of how CWC talks at people.

"individual perceptions"

 

[Wernology]

Reading through those messages again, where does he come up with these words. He never uses them right, and usually mispronounces them. Does he pull out a dictionary, flip through the pages, randomly puts his finger on a word and decides to use it?

He usually reads them somewhere else or hears them from someone way smarter than he is, doesn't bother to figure out what they mean, and uses them hoping to sound smart.

So far my favorite is when he was offering to "mitigate" fights between people via youtube for $50 then got mad at KF and me (very specifically in video comments) for laughing at him and telling him he meant "mediate", told me he was right and to look it up, so I pasted him the dictionary definition got no reply, and he started saying "mediate" from that point on.

He tries to mirror things and people he thinks sound/appear intelligent, looking stupid is one of those things he's absolutely terrified of to an aggressive degree.
The only thing that scares him more is being seen as gay, and he definitely ain't straight, he's talked about being curious about dudes to like 3 of my sock accounts in the past but "won't act on it" because he "doesn't want people thinking he's a faggot".

Basically if you aim for his intelligence and his sexuality you'll press all of his buttons at once; sadly with meds that just means he'll block you instead of creating a series of videos reeeeeing about how he's intelligent and definitely 100% heterosexual.

 

[VoidFace]

Imagine going on Instagram to brag about beating someone, who I’m 98% sure is slow, in a board game…

While implying they beat you several times before.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Imagine going on Instagram to brag about beating someone, who I’m 98% sure is slow, in a board game…

While implying they beat you several times before.

And we all know Jamie is the dim bulb among other dim bulbs.

Merry Xmas to all Wernologists!

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

And we all know Jamie is the dim bulb among other dim bulbs.

Merry Xmas to all Wernologists!

I hope the Wern is absolutely livid that he will be spending another Christmas alone this year. He will have a few slices of Turkey and canned puréed brussel sprouts covered in mountains of pepper.