I realise this is going over and using points made by others, apologies for that but how does this evening go?? (It won’t happen but let’s pretend)
The guy arrives from Texas to meet Lucas face to face for the first time, without filters or flattering angles he ends up face to face with a solid rhombus of pudge, the bald spot usually covered by only looking directly into the camera is now on full display, the Spokane afternoon sun bouncing off it and blinding passers by and melting the plastic awnings of the surrounding shops.
Now I’ll cut Lucas some slack and assume that he’s showered and wearing clean clothes for the meet but Lucas will want to pregame either at the motel with a huge pizza or in a restaurant with something heavy and covered in sauce, Lucas eats like (based on video evidence) like a starving hog, there is no way his shirt makes it through this with being adorned with grease, sauce or cheese. The effort of getting from the airport to the motel/returning has caused him to start sweating, the excitement for the night ahead increases this and he starts to smell, I assume Lucas doesn’t own cologne, hasn’t thought to bring a clean shirt for the night or toiletries, toothbrush, mouthwash etc to the motel so he’ll run into the Spokane night scene, hot, sticky, grubby shirt, garlic breath with greasy fingers. The veneer of chic he may have had when he first met the guy from Texas has vanished, like a mid November pumpkin he is reverting to his true form. I again assume Texas man is groomed and wearing some fresh threads so they already look odd, a gay beauty and the beast at a guess.
Say they find a bar packed with young women having a good time, by chance no one on this bar has an idea who Lucas is or has any idea of his past discretions. What happens?? Mr Texas make his move on a group of woman, they’re receptive and interested, at this point Mr Texas points to the darkest corner of the bar at a large lumbering shadow and explains he’s trying to get his friend laid, cue Lucas looking like the gruffalo in diabetic dancing shoes to shuffle his way across the bar with a handful of cash and look of rapey desperation in his eyes, I have to believe (or hope) that regardless of how attractive and charismatic mr Texas is, the sight of Lucas will set off every red flag in each and everyone one of their heads, I would hope they would make their excuses and leave or alert bar staff to have him taken out back and shot in the head.
Lucas is a true dent head, every plan and scheme outside of suckling at the teet of the state to stay alive fails miserably but this has be one of his worst. It won’t happen but I would pay someone a $1000 to film the whole thing. It would be amazing.
This either doesn’t happen or Lucas is (again) being catfished, the guy arrives, Lucas pays for the motel, they then head into town and Lucas is barred entry to each establishment, mr Texas goes alone has a great time, meets a girl, takes her back to the motel where he pays for the room next to Lucas and has a wonderful, consensual and very loud evening of love making while Lucas alone and half naked sits on the bed in the empty room with one hand holds a glass to the wall to help him hear better and with the other struggles to get a twitch out of his teeny peeny.
The real sad part is, if it goes either of these directions it would still be his best night out since Suzanne. He is a truly pathetic case.
Apologies again for any lingering disturbing mental imagery, I’m travelling for work and have now been waiting for a connecting flight for close to 4 hours and have had far too much coffee for 6am.
