Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

I'm starting to guess Lucas might not have a new place, he might be in a new room at Mallon. Also Lucas "I'm ready to be a dad" Werner, can't figure how to keep dry and needs help with an umbrella. Now I don't know Spokane, I admit that, but here even the dollar store keeps them. Personally, as a credit card flat bill owner, on one of my 4 Rolls Royces, I just open the door and they pop out. Poor people aren't allowed comfort. Lucas has been pulling some cash and Washington is known for it's rain, Lucas himself brings it up and talks about Kobain, but.... well he can't manage a single dollar for an umbrella. Now I know fancier ones get pricy but if you're broke a dollar is much better than soaked, even if only lasts a month.

Myrna's a real pile of shit (that Lucas wants to cum into) it's really strange, he's got sexual mommy issues but also a pedophile. This nigga has to beat off to the first back to the future a lot.. and not because Lea Thompson is HOT.
As a small business owning oligarch (owning a bridge in the middle of nowhere Texas counts as a "small business") when it rains I have homeless people walk beside me and carry one of my many umbrellas that are made out of woven gold threads, above me. No eye contact is allowed. I have another homeless assistant pay them in bird seed.

However, I wouldn't trust Lucas with this kind of important task because you just can't put your faith in someone who isn't able to put together their own "resume". Sorry Lucas, no bird seed.
 
I can't get over how fat lucas has become lol, it's like he really wants to either get amputated or die

Behold then, Lucas in a few year's time

FaceApp_1654511154396.jpg
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Since our boy Dr. Niggae Luke has been so boring of late, I decided to go spelunking in the back thread. Enjoy these meme gems from early 2020:

View attachment 3354690
View attachment 3354693
View attachment 3354695
View attachment 3354699
View attachment 3354697
View attachment 3354702

...all this solid gold content was produced when Lucas had his own small place. Here's hoping.
Wow, all of these are prime Lucas insanity, there’s a ton we could unpack here but two things I want to point out. First, the other jobless dudes in his building are having “a lot of hot sex with hot chicks”. How does Lucas know the sex is hot? Is he watching? In reality he saw one neighbor in the company of one attractive woman and invented a whole sex life for them, just to make himself more jealous than he already is. The way he confidently just states that the scenarios he imagines are true is so wild. Also if jobless guys are having all this sex then these women aren’t classist snobs.

And second, the one where he’s picking up litter is an even stranger imaginary scenario. The litter thing is pure virtue signaling first of all, but the really strange part is Lucas’ delusion that other men attract women without speaking, “like magnetism”, they just stand silently outside of bars and women throw themselves at them. This is exactly how Lucas desperately wants courtship to work, but there’s simply no way this actually happened the way he said. Then Lucas tries it himself and it doesn’t work. If we humor Lucas’ premise and these guys aren’t using verbal charm or money, literally just standing there, doesn’t that just heavily imply that they are physically attractive and Lucas isn’t?

It’s clear that Lucas is baffled and hurt by the fact that no women like him, and refuses in his denial to understand why, but in stories like this it seems like the wants his audience to also be shocked that there’s this weird invisible malevolent force that prevents Lucas from getting laid even though he’s a great guy. Or to sympathize that it’s so unfair that other guys have this zero-effort sexual magnetism and he doesn’t? He dances so close to the line of self-awareness sometimes when he seems to realize other men have something he lacks. Often it’s money but sometimes it seems like he thinks every other man has a super power to attract women. But of course it’s not that they’re more attractive, smarter, nicer, in better shape, or are better people, Lucas is plenty good in every department, there’s just some flaw in the universe preventing him from getting laid, something so monstrously unfair it alone disproves an omnibenevolent God. Fucking wild dude
 
Since our boy Dr. Niggae Luke has been so boring of late, I decided to go spelunking in the back thread. Enjoy these meme gems from early 2020:

View attachment 3354690
View attachment 3354693
View attachment 3354695
View attachment 3354699
View attachment 3354697
View attachment 3354702

...all this solid gold content was produced when Lucas had his own small place. Here's hoping.
This is hilarious. I was about to ask when he would move on from millenials to Gen Z. And well, we have our answer.

My favorite one is the quote about having a black version of everyone he ever met. Shine on gramps, shine on.
 
Wow, all of these are prime Lucas insanity, there’s a ton we could unpack here but two things I want to point out. First, the other jobless dudes in his building are having “a lot of hot sex with hot chicks”. How does Lucas know the sex is hot? Is he watching? In reality he saw one neighbor in the company of one attractive woman and invented a whole sex life for them, just to make himself more jealous than he already is. The way he confidently just states that the scenarios he imagines are true is so wild. Also if jobless guys are having all this sex then these women aren’t classist snobs.

And second, the one where he’s picking up litter is an even stranger imaginary scenario. The litter thing is pure virtue signaling first of all, but the really strange part is Lucas’ delusion that other men attract women without speaking, “like magnetism”, they just stand silently outside of bars and women throw themselves at them. This is exactly how Lucas desperately wants courtship to work, but there’s simply no way this actually happened the way he said. Then Lucas tries it himself and it doesn’t work. If we humor Lucas’ premise and these guys aren’t using verbal charm or money, literally just standing there, doesn’t that just heavily imply that they are physically attractive and Lucas isn’t?

It’s clear that Lucas is baffled and hurt by the fact that no women like him, and refuses in his denial to understand why, but in stories like this it seems like the wants his audience to also be shocked that there’s this weird invisible malevolent force that prevents Lucas from getting laid even though he’s a great guy. Or to sympathize that it’s so unfair that other guys have this zero-effort sexual magnetism and he doesn’t? He dances so close to the line of self-awareness sometimes when he seems to realize other men have something he lacks. Often it’s money but sometimes it seems like he thinks every other man has a super power to attract women. But of course it’s not that they’re more attractive, smarter, nicer, in better shape, or are better people, Lucas is plenty good in every department, there’s just some flaw in the universe preventing him from getting laid, something so monstrously unfair it alone disproves an omnibenevolent God. Fucking wild dude
Can you imagine seeing him standing around with a crowd of his hated flatbills, like a mongrel begging for table scraps?
 
He hasnt updated his Instagram in 6 days. Something's up...
Lucas did upload a Youtube video for a regard that gave him $20, 2 days ago. So, he still has his phone, but oddly isn't updating us at all...

The wall was greenish in that video, kinda looked like the ol' Motel 6 videos, but I'm not sure. I'm probably rainbows thinking he could be homeless again already and blowing his SSI on motels and Clinkernigger.
 
Lucas did upload a Youtube video for a regard that gave him $20, 2 days ago. So, he still has his phone, but oddly isn't updating us at all...

The wall was greenish in that video, kinda looked like the ol' Motel 6 videos, but I'm not sure. I'm probably rainbows thinking he could be homeless again already and blowing his SSI on motels and Clinkernigger.
I guess the only way we'll know if he loses his phone is if his ubiquitous signs start showing up on telephone poles
 
So is he actually in the new fartbox or was it a hoax?
Yeah, I am beginning to wonder. I expected him to make a Facebook post inviting all the sexy Gen Z ladies to kick it at his new crib. He did post about applying for food stamps, which he was real excited about.

With Lucas, it is hard to know. A couple possibilities:

1. He did not get to move at all. He was told they would try to get him a new place and he took that as a definite "yes".
2. He was moved, but it is not an apartment but another group home where he is still given tons of rules and not allowed to use the stove.

Neither scenario would prove to be plenty good for lolcow Lucas Werner. Who knows? Maybe he did move and is just laying low, unlikely, but again, it may be possible.
 
Back