Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Puta Bruja]

Holy crap! Watching those in order in one sitting feels like a slow descent into madness.

Lucas is seriously getting more insane and more fat by the minute. I like how he's trying to act super edgy and cool hoping to milk his 15 seconds of fame and land another spot on a TV show. Unfortunately for him those video rebuttals just came off as creepy and unpleasant to watch. Watching his fat ass chew on gum (I think that's what that was?) and then spit it out at the camera was disgusting. Having his big round ol' watermelon sized head take up the entire picture of the videos really do not do him any favors either.
Lucas is trying his hardest to sound and look like a smart sexy scientist but he just made himself look like a crazy fucking land whale. His schizo babble makes no sense to a person who processes thoughts normally.

 

[QueenBurritoSupreme]

Plus the lisp.

 

[GridYourLoins]

Plus the totally unnecessary shirt changes.

 

[AmpleApricots]

There's something about Lucas that puts him in the "uncanny valley of lolcows" for me. I mean a lot of lolcows are incredibly gross and I would never want to be anywhere near them (see Nick Bate, for example) but there's something especially unsettling about Lucas that presses just all the wrong buttons for me. The implied pedophilia, the creeping on young women, the probable incest that would be happening if he'd ever achieve his goals, the word salad pseudoscience, the gross cooking, the creepy dead eyes and potatohead and nonsensical rambling then to top it all off his complete lack of any redeeming qualities as a human and just the fact how stupid and clueless he is even though he walked this earth for almost 40 years now. That all adds up to me to something that just completely grosses me out in such a strange uncanny way that other lolcows don't. I wonder If I'm the only one there.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

There's something about Lucas that puts him in the "uncanny valley of lolcows" for me. I mean a lot of lolcows are incredibly gross and I would never want to be anywhere near them (see Nick Bate, for example) but there's something especially unsettling about Lucas that presses just all the wrong buttons for me. The implied pedophilia, the creeping on young women, the probable incest that would be happening if he'd ever achieve his goals, the word salad pseudoscience, the gross cooking, the creepy dead eyes and potatohead and nonsensical rambling then to top it all off his complete lack of any redeeming qualities as a human and just the fact how stupid and clueless he is even though he walked this earth for almost 40 years now. That all adds up to me to something that just completely grosses me out in such a strange uncanny way that other lolcows don't. I wonder If I'm the only one there.

Yeah, it's just you.

All the rest of us are desperate to date the Wern, but not lucky enough to fall in his range.

If only, right?

 

[AmpleApricots]

In conclusion, if I were a woman I would *probably* not have sex with him.

 

[Bassomatic]

Holy shit those are more unhinged than he's ever been. Like by far. Aside his massive misuse and misunderstanding of stats even his cherry picking makes no sense. He says Autism rates are up, no shit 100 years ago we didn't know what autism is. I own more cars than the entire roman empire ever did. That's how dumb a "cite" Lucas is pulling out of his ass. He claims to love science and lists all these problems humans have now they didn't, because we have medical advancements. For someone who is anti eugenics he sure likes to say humans are getting dumber but won't touch a major factor of that is the boom of population in the 3rd world due to farming advancements.

I honestly think the shirt changing was done to make him appear rich as he owns at least 6 shirts. He's that far off sociality norms, that's an underhanded brag move.

The entire thing was a word salad that is so disjointed it's hard to pick apart, it might as well have every 4th word be omitted, or French it would not effect it's quality.

Lucas often speaks against bigotry but I thought only those big bad alt right Christians are the ones who say gays are sexual predators and Lucas says him and his science pedos are just the same as homosexuals.

This is peak batty from our boy Lukie, I don't think Tosh will bring him on because he's gotta be careful not to really rip into mental illness, this is clearly not a gross failed pick up line, and out of context or history the linked video could be the worlds worst dating video. For a show like his on a big network, it's one thing to laugh at weirdo but you can't really just bully the mentally ill. That's the joy of here.

 

[Cato]

Holy shit those are more unhinged than he's ever been. Like by far.

[...]

This is peak batty from our boy Lukie

I must disagree. Still has nothing on late Jan/early Feb 2017 Lucas:

 

[Bassomatic]

That's what I find scary his, manic behavior was just screaming memes. This was much more a cluster fuck. He was very angry and shirtless. But at least the message was well, understandable if not repulsive.

Granted the rap is one of the best Lucas moments ever.

 

[Particle Bored]

"Any female caught with a male under 35 would be imprisoned. The males would be imprisoned as well. DATE ME."

random.txt?

 

[Caracticus]

"Any female caught with a male under 35 would be imprisoned. The males would be imprisoned as well. DATE ME."

random.txt?

But according to the research he cites, longer telomeres get passed on to at least 2 generations of offspring, so it should be okay for women to date younger men so long as the men have older fathers or grandfathers. And his "mothers under 25 are more likely to have children who live over 100" was a birth-order effect for children born before 1906 showing longer life for firstborns with no paternal age effect. Even the research he cites contradicts his claims.

 

[Dread First]

I'm just waiting for Lucas to get out of this manic episode and slip into depression again. Manic Lucas is fun, but doesn't anyone else miss the days when Lucas used to threaten suicide until he got a date?

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

Wtf it's been like three days since his last selfie, how did he manage to get so fat so quickly

 

[RickSanchez]

Wtf it's been like three days since his last selfie, how did he manage to get so fat so quickly

Those monstrous food pics he posts, he definitely lacks portion control. He seems more reclusive now, so he probably doesn't walk as much as he used to. Also 50 dollars of sushi per week is a shit ton of calories he never burns off.

 

[Aristophanes]

It's both kind of hilarious and sad/pathetic that his "rebuttals" to Tosh.0 have nothing to do with what was said on the original broadcast at all - it's just six videos of Lucas rambling into the camera. He's gone down the Russell Greer route by trivialising the oppression of marginalised groups [LGBT, people of colour] in order to bring attention to his "plight", as well as demanding that he is "owed sex" by law (the whole imprisoning men under 35 thing - it's similar to Rusty's idea of refusing to sleep with a disabled person being illegal). It's standard incel stuff with a hint of schizophrenia.

Being a historian and all, watching him try to shoehorn classical Athens into his incel theories - all while misinterpreting primary source material ["historical record"] and the findings of studies - was both hilarious and frustrating.

Still, I'm surprised that he was able to keep himself relatively calm on camera given that most cows tend to explode when called out in public. I'm sure he raged off camera for a while, just so he could calm down when on camera. It's a bit weird that he chose to upload it in six parts (when it is far easier to make one video) and to change into five different shirts.

Edit: every time Lucas offers a "steak meal" or "dinner at Churchill's" I have the urge to share this video:

 

[Cato]

He's gone down the Russell Greer route by trivialising the oppression of marginalised groups [LGBT, people of colour] in order to bring attention to his "plight", as well as demanding that he is "owed sex" by law (the whole imprisoning men under 35 thing - it's similar to Rusty's idea of refusing to sleep with a disabled person being illegal).

The Wern is the OG. He was comparing calling him "creepy" to calling black people "niggers," and saying that he was entitled to sex because he gave food away to homeless people, well before Greer ever had a thread here.

 

[Rogowski]

My favorite argument of his was during the Bernie fever era of 2016 when he was tying to pick up girls in threads in the Bernie Sanders Dank Meme Stash facebook group. He would predictably get turned down and then lose his shit because if you want to vote for a 70 year old man then you're a hypocrite for not wanting to date Lucas.

 

[XxxwernxxX]

My favorite argument of his was during the Bernie fever era of 2016 when he was tying to pick up girls in threads in the Bernie Sanders Dank Meme Stash facebook group. He would predictably get turned down and then lose his shit because if you want to vote for a 70 year old man then you're a hypocrite for not wanting to date Lucas.

I miss those days. I know he's anti Trump, but seems to me that by that reasoning he should start looking for (very) young conservative women. After all, if they voted for a 70+ year old man, surely they should have sex with the Wern.

 

[Caracticus]

By his own "male age of consent is 35" rule, Lucas himself would either be in jail or be a virgin. I imagine he thinks adoring young women would have been all over him on his 35th birthday ... forgetting the other 30 million men who had a shot at them first.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

Lucas called Kiwis "candy asses"
Yet he lurks around in his apartment all day too terrified to do anything but eat sushi alone on occasion.