Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Does anyone have a link to Lucas posting on this thread? I remember he was spamming dicks but I can’t find it.
 
Telo Miriam said:
Christ, what a lazy retard
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'Was having trouble with my modem'
'Got a new phone'

Those two things don't compute. That explanation doesn't make any sense, so yeah he's lying. His modem (which he doesn't have, as he doesn't have a computer or anything else that has a need for any kind of modem) would not be affecting his phone, and if he had such a problem getting a new phone wouldn't fix it. a fucked wifi point would mean no internet, but there would be more than one of them in his building and he would simply be able to go to mcdonalds or whatever that has free wifi and use his phone. He absolutely would have done this given his greed and birthday coming up at the time, if he had been able

So no, lucas is not telling the truth. He's lying and as always he's doing it to hide something. Lucas, being too stupid to understand technology, just throws some terms together he's heard in a way that doesn't make sense and outs himself as a liar yet again

I'm calling it, he's covering up the fact he was in the hospital

Telo Miriam said:
Does anyone have a link to Lucas posting on this thread? I remember he was spamming dicks but I can’t find it.
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Didn't he start posting stuff that looked like cp and got banned for it and a bunch of shit got deleted? Might be why you can't find it
 
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The prized cow lives and moos. What a delight.

Wernogists have been predicting Lucas's demise for years. Diabetes complications, MRSA and suicide have all be suggested as a likely cause of death. The probability of Lucas being shot by a protective father or enraged flatbill has been discussed, too.

Long, mysterious disappearances are a routine part of wernology. I'd wager a nickel that Lucas was recently released from the laughing academy, and finally has access to his phone again.

Disgruntled Pupper said:
It is strange to me that the message has remained unread. I could see him not feeling well enough to respond, or not wanting to post because of his1 health catching up to him, but he has nothing else for entertainment except his phone and I don't really believe he would stay away competely. I think this points to either he doesn't have access to his phone (lost, locked up) or he's dead.

I feel a little sentimental because I think of Lucas as the last of the OG schizo cows. First Terry went, then Herk went, then Bulla went, and only Lucas remained. Now he's probably on the way out, if not already gone. Cherish the milk your cows give you, young Kiwis, for you never know how long it will last.
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Now Lucas reigns as the last schizo cow of his era. Fitting, as only Bulla ever approached the Wern's grandeur.
 
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wenttobermuda said:
The prized cow lives and moos. What a delight.

Wernogists have been predicting Lucas's demise for years. Diabetes complications, MRSA and suicide have all be suggested as a likely cause of death. The probability of Lucas being shot by a protective father or enraged flatbill has been discussed, too.

Long, mysterious disappearances are a routine part of wernology. I'd wager a nickel that Lucas was recently released from the laughing academy, and finally has access to his phone again.


Now Lucas reigns as the last schizo cow of his era. Fitting, as only Bulla ever approached the Wern's grandeur.
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Bulla and lucas aren't that different. Lucas is what bulla would be if he were slightly stupider and an atheist. Though lucas himself isn't too far off from calling himself 'bernies only friend' either, and i'm not entirely sure he wouldn't try to claim his clone or someone pretending to be him is the real guilty party if he ever got busted for something with a little girl. Though maybe not meeting his own wern clone at pizza hut. The ironic thing is even bulla, shit for brains that he was managed to be more successful in life than lucas. He had a home of his own and managed to do the one thing lucas always wanted to do - sexually assault a little girl. He even managed to survive prison, something lucas would be very unlikely to do given his behavior and inability to keep his mouth shut or bathe. Imagine the utter failure you have to be at life to be one upped by bulla. The only thing lucas has over bulla is surviving the coof.....which all things considered is the opposite of how you'd expect that to have gone given it tends to kill the obese sick people like lucas

The only king of anything lucas will ever be is king of his era of lolcows. There really aren't that many with lucas's particular brand of crazy
 
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More vague details about his phone/internet situation. Sounds like he moved to a different apartment. I wonder if they fought over the freezer situation?
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And he’s back to cooking:
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Telo Miriam said:
More vague details about his phone/internet situation. Sounds like he moved to a different apartment. I wonder if they fought over the freezer situation?
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And he’s back to cooking:
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Another lie. Shouldn't have anything to do with not having phone service. Modems have absolutely nothing to do with phone service itself, and internet service is usually part of your cell plan, even the cheapest ones have some kind of internet service even if it is shit. If you can get a cell signal you have internet. and again even if he somehow didn't have it in the apartment that doesn't stop him from going to the library to log in to do his begging as he has done many times before or to mcdonalds to log into free wifi. and it doesn't take a fucking month to get something like that done. Ever.

Its also pretty telling he's suddenly in a different apartment. Thats what, the third time he's been moved now since he got into the halfway house part of mallon place? In other words he's having roommate issues and they're moving him because of it when shit starts to get out of hand. He should be aware that they'll only do that so many times because there are only so many places there to move him to. Then he's got himself a problem

and that 'food' looks awful. Yet again showing his habit of making literal autistic style food. and you just know he drenched that in pepper and who the fuck knows what else. No way he isn't somewhere on the spectrum

Being close to christmas I wonder if he'll get ahold of some of that colored sugar stuff and start putting it all over his food. or maybe some of those candied cherries. Maraschino cherry chicken soup with kraft dinner cheese perhaps, garnished with christmas green sugar
 
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Lucas has SafeLink wireless, which is an Obama phone. He qualified because "he low income, he disability".

I was wondering if to save money he maybe was just using the wifi for his phone service, which probably is included in his rent. But as Wonder Wino said, he still could have gone somewhere else to use the wifi and login to social media.

There was some incident medical or behavioral, most likely. He may have had a massive chimpout over the freezer space. But since he is a sped his handlers will find a new place to put him.

Lucas has his own Obama phone now. Plenty good! He can use that to call zoomer baes.
 
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Telo Miriam said:
More vague details about his phone/internet situation. Sounds like he moved to a different apartment. I wonder if they fought over the freezer situation?
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WonderWino said:
Its also pretty telling he's suddenly in a different apartment. Thats what, the third time he's been moved now since he got into the halfway house part of mallon place? In other words he's having roommate issues and they're moving him because of it when shit starts to get out of hand. He should be aware that they'll only do that so many times because there are only so many places there to move him to. Then he's got himself a problem
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I think he's talking about the move from the 1st apartment to the 2nd.

ETA:
Yea, the "modem" excuse for his absence is bullshit.
 
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mothman96 said:
I think he's talking about the move from the 1st apartment to the 2nd.

ETA:
Yea, the "modem" excuse for his absence is bullshit.
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Why would he be talking about the first apartment to the second? That was quite awhile ago and couldn't have anything to do with his disappearance or anything else he brought up. Anything related to that would have happened months ago
 
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WonderWino said:
Why would he be talking about the first apartment to the second? That was quite awhile ago and couldn't have anything to do with his disappearance or anything else he brought up. Anything related to that would have happened months ago
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The way it looks even though the apartment move (1st to 2nd) happened around the beginning of Oct he needed to come up with a way to excuse as to why he has been absent. So he brought it up with the added lack of modem.
 
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WonderWino said:
Another lie. Shouldn't have anything to do with not having phone service. Modems have absolutely nothing to do with phone service itself, and internet service is usually part of your cell plan, even the cheapest ones have some kind of internet service even if it is shit. If you can get a cell signal you have internet. and again even if he somehow didn't have it in the apartment that doesn't stop him from going to the library to log in to do his begging as he has done many times before or to mcdonalds to log into free wifi. and it doesn't take a fucking month to get something like that done. Ever.

Its also pretty telling he's suddenly in a different apartment. Thats what, the third time he's been moved now since he got into the halfway house part of mallon place? In other words he's having roommate issues and they're moving him because of it when shit starts to get out of hand. He should be aware that they'll only do that so many times because
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Ehh, Lucas has a history of using devices with no cellular access. That was his first Spokane apartment where he’d film stuff and then go to the library to upload it. He’s too cheap for the $10 data plan a month.

I don’t doubt that his cell phone has no internet access over cellular and is Wi-Fi only. I’m not sure what you’re going with to say modems are entirely unrelated and even incompatible with cell phone internet. use. Cable modem is required at my house to get on these inter webs. Were I cheap as Lucas, I would not have cellular phone data for internet and just use Wi-Fi.

If he moved either by his Case Manager making him go to higher or lower level of care or him having to find a new situation bc roommate stuff, the cable company does have to set up the transfer of services and install—especially if you are Lucas and especially if you are Lucas you’d suck at arranging that and then be screwed when you don’t have the Wi-Fi needed to use Wi-Fi calling to set up your Wi-Fi install. That allllll checks out.

But then Lucas also loses his phone? Really?

If he were in a hospital, he’d have had Wi-Fi and ability to use his phone and keep in touch. I don’t buy medical absence. Though he does phrase it as having been out of commission…

Mental health hospitalization would be phone-free, but he’d get it back at the end. And I don’t see evidence of enough crazy behavior leading up to disappearing.

Jail would be a place to lose your phone. Freaking out in public and being carted off to jail/ inpatient could lose you a phone. Eviction and homelessness suddenly would also be likely to involve losing your phone (stolen). .

I do agree that Lucas with a phone and no modem would go to a place to use Wi-Fi and keep on begging. Even with his recent increase health issues and decreased mobility. He’d hobble to McDonalds. Find a (literal) creeper to roll on like a fat Eddie Murphy in trading places. It would be glorious. Jabba on a skateboard… creeper on a creeper.,..

My money is on homeless or jail but I lean toward homeless. I think his explanation was true, but incomplete. His version left out the critical and embarrassing parts and made himself feel less pathetic. Like when he had his stimulus money stolen, it wasn’t because he was waving cash around telling folks to bring him pussy that he got jacked, it’s bc he invited that druggy guy who was a druggy and never paid him back. Poor Lucas.

Edit (to fix my ADHD thought fragment and avoid double post.)
 
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WhiskerBiscuit said:
Ehh, Lucas has a history of using devices with no cellular access. That was his first Spokane apartment where he’d film stuff and then go to the library to upload it. He’s too cheap for the $10 data plan a month.

I don’t doubt that his cell phone has no internet access over cellular and is Wi-Fi only. I’m not sure what you’re going with to say modems are entirely unrelated and even incompatible with cell phone internet. use. Cable modem is required at my house to get on these inter webs. Were I cheap as Lucas, I would not have cellular phone data for internet and just use Wi-Fi.

If he moved either by his Case Manager making him go to higher or lower level of care or him having to find a new situation bc roommate stuff, the cable company does have to set up the transfer of services and install—especially if you are Lucas and especially if you are Lucas you’d suck at arranging that and then be screwed when you don’t have the Wi-Fi needed to use Wi-Fi calling to set up your Wi-Fi install. That allllll checks out.


But then you lose your phone? Really?

If he were are hospital, he’d have had Wi-Fi and ability to use his phone and keep in touch. I don’t buy medical absence.

Mental health hospitalization would be phone-free, but he’d get it back.

Jail would be a place to lose your phone. Eviction and homeless suddenly would also lose your phone.

I do agree that Lucas with a phone and no modem would go to a place to use Wi-Fi and keep on begging. Even with his recent increase health issues and decreased mobility. He’d hobble to McDonald. Find a creeper to roll on like a fat Eddie Murphy on trading places. It would be glorious. Jabba on a skateboard…

My money is on homeless or jail but I think homeless. I think his explanation was true but incomplete. His version left out the critical and embarrassing parts and made himself feel less pathetic. Like when he had his stimulus money stolen, it wasn’t because he was waving cash around telling folks to bring him pussy that he got jacked, it’s bc he invited that druggy guy who was a druggy and never paid him back. Poor Lucas.
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Definitely wasn't jail because he'd have showed up in the spokane inmate registry. Anything that made him homeless would have likely landed him in jail or made him suicide bait his way into the nuthouse on account of the winter weather....which wouldn't have lasted anywhere near as long as his disappearance and still doesn't explain not going to the library to get online to beg for birthday stuff once he couldn't do that anymore. Plus if he was homeless how did he end up back in housing so fast? Mallon place is the end of the road for him in that regard. He's on no rent lists for housing and if he fucked that up by spazzing out seriously enough to get kicked out it would be another red flag on his record and nobody would be jumping at getting him another apartment

Wireless modems/routers and wifi hotspots are the only things he can connect to if he has no cell internet access, which seems unlikely as basic internet is usually included with the phones they provide in those cell programs that lucas uses. They're shit quality but included in your payment. That said, places like mallon place with multiple residents don't generally allow residents to have private outside internet you pay for and have technicians come in to set up. Both due to the cost (remember mallon takes almost all of their residents money every month, so where is the money coming to pay for it, let alone the set up fees that alot of places have) and due to the kinds of people they have living in those places, which frequently have criminal histories of various kinds and they don't want some resident doing creepy shit that might draw police attention and whatnot, so most such places have their own connection for the building and run hotspots through the building for residents to use the internet. Access being included as part of their rent payment. This lets them ensure residents activities can be monitored when necessary and allows them to cut off the internet to residents if it starts causing problems. Hospitals, nursing homes and similar long term care facilities all do this pretty regularly. Point being, unless lucas means there was a problem with the buildings internet as a whole and everyone was cut off and it took as long as it did to get someone in to fix it, something doesn't add up. Regardless, whether he had a phone or not or was homeless he could have gone to the library and if the internet was out he could have gone to some place with free wifi. That he didn't strongly implies he was prevented from doing so, which leaves the nut house or sick as fuck in the hospital. Jail would have been found out and nothing else really explains his disappearance

Something weird that he's making a point of not wanting anyone to know about definitely happened. All the parts of his story and the length and suddenness of his disappearance don't make sense together as he explains them

On the plus side, lucas is an idiot with the memory of a drunken goldfish and will slip up and admit what happened sooner or later to somebody
 
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Just returned from exile, glad to see the fat fuck has reappeared. OFC the fuckwit will not be able to keep his story straight. Possible minor arc after the drought...also have the upload of "Wound" by @Wernology to plough through on YT. Happy bunny!

WonderWino said:
'Was having trouble with my modem'
'Got a new phone'

Those two things don't compute. That explanation doesn't make any sense, so yeah he's lying. His modem (which he doesn't have, as he doesn't have a computer or anything else that has a need for any kind of modem) would not be affecting his phone, and if he had such a problem getting a new phone wouldn't fix it. a fucked wifi point would mean no internet, but there would be more than one of them in his building and he would simply be able to go to mcdonalds or whatever that has free wifi and use his phone. He absolutely would have done this given his greed and birthday coming up at the time, if he had been able

So no, lucas is not telling the truth. He's lying and as always he's doing it to hide something. Lucas, being too stupid to understand technology, just throws some terms together he's heard in a way that doesn't make sense and outs himself as a liar yet again

I'm calling it, he's covering up the fact he was in the hospital


Didn't he start posting stuff that looked like cp and got banned for it and a bunch of shit got deleted? Might be why you can't find it
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I think his user name ended in 666 and had "nightmare" in it (probably misspelled) like the retarded teenage edgelord he is.

Edit: it was as edgy as I thought:
Bumcel visits the farms..
 
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