Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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I hate when people give him money but the hat comment made me laugh
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Anyone who wants to ironically wear a Wern flatbill cap could easily make one at home.

That Lenin quote though is just too much. I would pay good money (not to Lucas) to hear him explain what it means in his own words, and how it applies to current year. Plus I'm pretty sure the next line in the speech was something like "but it's ACHUALLY not a big deal if you do it, because censorship is worse than propaganda." In other words, Lenin was an urKiwi and it's okay to call Putin a fag even if Biden did it first.
 
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I was taking another look at this site and noticed another top tier piece of narcissistic wern stupidity:

The hateful will face their Waterloo in blocked email addresses at my discretion

That right there is worthy of random.txt. Lucas better be careful or he'll be facing his own waterloo at the hands of his roommate and get his ass thrown out on the street at mallon's discretion

and since he's putting out obvious signs that tension is starting to build in his living situation, lets take a moment to remind ourselves what happened the last time he started talking like this:
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But i'm sure he totally learned his lesson the last time and won't do something absurdly stupid to get himself thrown back on the street this time

and lets also take a moment to consider what would happen to lucas if he got busted for his pedo behavior and ever even remotely implied something like that in prison. I saw some drugs and fucking in that guys cell who keeps bringing in weed! But if he gives me some commissary and weed for my silence then its none of my business!

He'd be dead inside of a day, stabbed or thrown off the tier as soon as word got around that he said anything like that. Hell he's lucky he didn't get killed over that incident by accidently saying something that happened to turn out to be true - if one of those people really had been some crack dealer or a pimp and he said shit like that and threatened to blackmail him he'd have been in deep shit. Still it would have been an ironically fitting end to him, killed by his own stupidity and greed
 
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WonderWino said:
I was taking another look at this site and noticed another top tier piece of narcissistic wern stupidity:

The hateful will face their Waterloo in blocked email addresses at my discretion

That right there is worthy of random.txt. Lucas better be careful or he'll be facing his own waterloo at the hands of his roommate and get his ass thrown out on the street at mallon's discretion

and since he's putting out obvious signs that tension is starting to build in his living situation, lets take a moment to remind ourselves what happened the last time he started talking like this:
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But i'm sure he totally learned his lesson the last time and won't do something absurdly stupid to get himself thrown back on the street this time

and lets also take a moment to consider what would happen to lucas if he got busted for his pedo behavior and ever even remotely implied something like that in prison. I saw some drugs and fucking in that guys cell who keeps bringing in weed! But if he gives me some commissary and weed for my silence then its none of my business!
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Wern talking about "staying clean" never ceases to amuse me. He is a filthy, disgusting, pants pooping bumcel who hasn't been clean for more than five minutes after being discharged from one of the various Laughing Academies. He also hasn't been "clean" in any other sense of the word considering his basic bitch booze drinking/weed smoking/non stop lusting after underaged girls.
 
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There used to be more shitty merchandise. What happened to the Wern blanket and some of the other crap? Oh, boo-boo. The fat 43 year old sped can't get Poke delivery. Booo-hooo.
Telo Miriam said:
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Lucas, if you weren’t such a fat lazy hobo man-child you could just eat out when you feel like it. Instead you “gotta sell merch” to trolls who are stupid enough to give you money while they laugh at you.
Current state of his redbubble shop: link
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Telo Miriam said:
More boring shit on his Facebook, I hope he pisses his roommate off soon
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Lucas only hates money because he doesn't have any. If he were rich he'd think capitalism was the best thing ever

Telo Miriam said:
Lucas, if you weren’t such a fat lazy hobo man-child you could just eat out when you feel like it. Instead you “gotta sell merch” to trolls who are stupid enough to give you money while they laugh at you.
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As usual no self awareness at all as to how saying that makes him look lazy and entitled. Its a shame he has to sell merch to get a shitty food delivery? Its a shame he is too lazy and entitled to get a job, and a shame he's using other peoples stolen artwork to try to make money off of

Gas Station Boner Pills said:
Oh, Lucas WANTS raw fish delivered to his door now? What a hypocrite. I remember a time when that sort of thing made him chimp out...
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If he loves raw fish so much, and brags about sushi so often he should try making raw eel sushi and see how that ends up for him. He's stupid enough to do it if somebody he thought was a chef told him it was fine expensive dining at its best. and of course didn't tell him eel blood is lethally toxic to mammals and would flat out kill him in minutes if he ate any part of an eel raw. Frankly i'm surprised he hasn't done that himself yet. Hell he'd probably believe anyone who told him the british live extra long because of their love jellied eels because long fish like the eel give long telomeres and reverse aging. The giraffe too - long neck gives long telomeres. By the same token telling him not to eat short fish because it'll shorten his telomeres would likely get him thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts.

That said, clearly he's unaware that eating poke often is an extremely unhealthy thing to do cause of all the mercury in tuna. Its one of the dishes that can put you in the hospital with mercury poisoning and does with alot of people pretty regularly. Which incidentally happens to be horrible for the kidneys, so he's not doing himself any favors eating all the poke bowls he can get his greedy hands on
 
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Telo Miriam said:
:cryblood:
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Thats horrifying. Theres no way anybody with properly functioning senses of taste and touch would ever be able to eat that. He should also be very careful putting kidney beans in there like that. The canned ones aren't always fully cooked no matter what the can says and eating a can of not quite cooked ones can make you very, very sick for a few days. I was going to say at least he didn't put several pounds of meat in it but knowing how fast he goes through money he probably ran out of ground meat already

and he fucking wonders why his roommate looks at him like he's mental when he's making spaghetti
 
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Telo Miriam said:
Does Puerto Rico have good bumcel benefits like Spokane?
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LOL lucas wouldn't last a month in puerto rico, and the only section 8 he'll ever get is the one klinger was going after

I wonder how much of his statement here has to do with liking the general winter climate in LA when he was there. He hates freezing his ass off all winter when he's outside and would probably prefer a warmer climate than washington has, so he can spaz out freely and be able to live in the woods when he got in trouble for it

Twrx said:
Bruh, I love pineapple pizza, but pineapple has a very limited range on what it goes on and spaghetti isn't on the list of what is ok.
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Reminds me of a guy I used to work with who would bring in a couple cans of that cheap canned dollar store pineapple and make 'pineapple tea' in the break room by boiling the pineapple and syrup it was in in the coffee pot and drinking the liquid. It left a residue and weird smell and taste on the pot and pissed alot of people off pretty fast
 
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Telo Miriam said:
View attachment 4073073
Lucas, if you weren’t such a fat lazy hobo man-child you could just eat out when you feel like it. Instead you “gotta sell merch” to trolls who are stupid enough to give you money while they laugh at you.
Current state of his redbubble shop: link
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I know the real answer (because it's Lucas) but whatever happened to his whole "finding a job" story arc? I, for one, am SHOCKED that it hasn't happened. I mean it was all lining up so perfectly! He had his ID, he had his special shoes, his glasses, and had a helper doing his resume! I can't imagine WHAT could have prevented him from a landing a job because we know he certainly put a tremendous amount of time and energy into finding a job so surely the problem couldn't have been him!
 
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