Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Da Dude123]

Circling back to women not wanting him cause he's poor and he's gunna get a job! Being poor is part of it, but the guy is just a fat cow. Yeah, no way will Tubby ever get a job. It will effect his re-tard bux. I bet we don't hear much more about his job search. Plus, he never got his special shoes or glasses. And an ID. So he can get into bars and a job. And he needs resumes to hand out on hard cardstock paper. You can't get any job if you don't do that!

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Hiding more chins than a Chinese phone book under your dollar store shades doesn't cover that hog jowl turkey neck thing.

Is that why he is always wearing a covid mask on his neck? I never thought about it before but I guess it kinda hides the turkey waddle neck fat.

Circling back to women not wanting him cause he's poor and he's gunna get a job!

Woman don't want Lucas cuz he's Lucas. There are plenty of poor dudes with wifes or girlfriends. It's just impossible to be poor, retarded and creepy, fat and ugly to get one.

 

[WonderWino]

Imagine being the poor job counselor that gets lucas assigned to them. One look at his file and history and you'd want to facepalm and reach for the nearest bottle of vodka, wondering who you pissed off at the office to get him assigned to you. and holy shit if they're stupid enough to assign an actual female zoomer to such a job. No way that would end well for anyone involved. Lucas would hit on her or be creepy on her or ask creepy questions about how to get zoomer baes and probably try to get phone numbers of her friends from her and then get pissy when she doesn't give them to him. Just look at how he admitted to behaving with his counselor

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Imagine being the poor job counselor that gets lucas assigned to them

Imagine being any poor gov't worker stuck dealing with Lucas, people like him are a drain on society but normally they are just people going through hard times and most of them would do better if given the chance. It also makes me wonder if Lucas was forced to take job counseling, example a friend of mine survived Breast cancer and her disability was about to get canceled so to keep some of the medical coverage she took something similar to job counseling and a shit job

 

[Da Dude123]

Imagine being any poor gov't worker stuck dealing with Lucas, people like him are a drain on society but normally they are just people going through hard times and most of them would do better if given the chance. It also makes me wonder if Lucas was forced to take job counseling, example a friend of mine survived Breast cancer and her disability was about to get canceled so to keep some of the medical coverage she took something similar to job counseling and a shit job

Yeah, any social worker or case manager that has to deal with Lucas has an awful assignment. As for him having to look for work, I sort of doubt it. Pretty sure he got disability for being dumb and autistic. That is considered a permanent thing. Your friend who survived breast cancer, thankfully was temporarily disabled and it would sort of make sense why she would need to do that.

Speaking of which, I wonder how much contact Lucas has with his handlers? We don't hear too much about him having to see them. I know at one time he thought he could convince them to let him handle his finances himself. That will never ever happen. His housing arrangement I am sure requires that his tugboat gets intercepted every month to pay his rent.

 

[Belisarius Cawl]

Tbh

It would have been inevitable. The reason you don't see laugh reacts on his posts any more is he blocks them all. He blocks you speaking up he blocks you for laughing at him and the reason he whines about all the followers that don't engage his posts is because he can't tell if you support him or ridicule him

I think if I had acted like a buddy troll and put on a fake sympathy routine like I'm a police interrogator he wouldn't have blocked me. I just didn't know how little leeway he allows for disagreement of any kind.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I wish I had never challenged Lucas Werner about anything, resulting in him blocking me. I don't even remember what it was about other than it had nothing to do with his deeply held core beliefs about telomerase and I was very mild in criticizing his ideas.

If you're not a zoomer girl, he'll always block you eventually. Even if you're nothing but nice to Lucas.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Speaking of which, I wonder how much contact Lucas has with his handlers? We don't hear too much about him having to see them. I know at one time he thought he could convince them to let him handle his finances himself. That will never ever happen. His housing arrangement I am sure requires that his tugboat gets intercepted every month to pay his rent.

I would assume once a month? Or maybe since he's been on it for so long they only see him once every few months or half a year. I am curious how often retards get an oil change myself. Someone like Lucas that's not safe for life should go at least once a month but who knows? From what my friend was telling me about the "job" she was given they constantly had retards and physically handicapped people come to work a few days and never be seen again. They gave her like $7 an hour while she did it and it barely covered the gas money it cost to drive down there.

 

[Bassomatic]

I think in Lucas case he really rarely if ever sees anyone unless he reaches out. I think he learned he won't get his tard bucks so he doesn't talk about it or ask. There's no way he reached out about a job. None. He's just lying again, it's one of the big circle he makes up. I seriously don't think he bothered looking into one.

Being how retarded and sick he is, with perma tard bucks, jobs are something you probably have to ask for, since they need to find places that do disabled placement. I don't know WA but it's more lax than my state and we basically say if you're tarded if you want work we help otherwise we kinda just write a check and ignore you.

The stuff with temp disability is nuts, but once you're seen as unfixable it's pretty hands off as the system is over strained as is, because they focus on the people who will/can go back.

It's also funny to me Lucas claims economic class, he's not even "poor" he's a leech. Past poor, not even in poor, poor people struggle. Lucas is cozy. I've been poor, but not really poor. I've had times being hungry but always could get me a quarter (back then) and ramen for dinner. I've never been late on a bill poor. I know people who are poor, or have been, shit like.. ok the lights get turned off in 6 months and they won't repo my car for 2 so I know what to pay. That's poor!

It's an insult to call Lucas poor. Poor people often struggle way more than Lucas who gets to live in a paid for fart box, free food, clothes, and anything he can steal from donations. Poor people should hate him more than "the rich" be you rich or middle class Lucas is just another waste of tax payers money like programs to spread LGBT propaganda in Islamic nations, poor people come home stinking like fry oil, gasoline, toilet water, and then still have to open an empty fridge knowing that can of chef boyardee they can't afford is because Lucas got their tax money and stole everything from the pantry.

 

[Rogowski]

Circling back to women not wanting him cause he's poor and he's gunna get a job! Being poor is part of it, but the guy is just a fat cow. Yeah, no way will Tubby ever get a job. It will effect his re-tard bux. I bet we don't hear much more about his job search. Plus, he never got his special shoes or glasses. And an ID. So he can get into bars and a job. And he needs resumes to hand out on hard cardstock paper. You can't get any job if you don't do that!

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"I'm eager to please", that is unless you're too conservative, too liberal, too independent, too codependent, too slutty, not slutty enough, the list goes on. He's got this sweet spot for every qualification and if you ain't it he doesn't care.

 

[SteveGoatman]

"I'm eager to please", that is unless you're too conservative, too liberal, too independent, too codependent, too slutty, not slutty enough, the list goes on. He's got this sweet spot for every qualification and if you ain't it he doesn't care.

Exactly. "Eager to please"....I think "absolutely desperate" is more accurate, and yet almost all of that is of his own doing. He's a hilarious combination of someone with impossibly high standards (very young, very hot, very politically aligned (at least allegedly), very low standards in a partner, very willing to support him financially/emotionally/sexually) and who himself has nothing to offer. As mentioned earlier there are PLENTY of poor people, fat people, conventionally unattractive people etc who have SOs because they have something positive going on or they can hide it long enough to attract someone.

I sometimes wonder if a tiny part of Lucas' Swiss cheese brain knows his search is futile and the only real satisfaction he gets is out of complaining about how "unfair" life is.

 

[Spunt]

One of the many, many ironies that flies over Lucas' head at the approximate height of a fucking satellite, is that he doesn't apply his own line of reasoning as to what he wants from women to what women would (theoretically) want from him.

Lucas is all about sex and relationships as an evolutionary/genetic phenomenon at heart, and he's not actually fundamentally wrong about that. We not only have sex to continue our species, but what we (very generally) find attractive in the opposite sex is in large part based on that need as well. It's sublimated through culture and society, but on a biological level, men are programmed to think "Is this woman going to be fertile and able to raise my children to adulthood?" Lucas' dribblings about telomeres are of course bullshit, but that is why men are generally attracted to women who look fertile - narrow waist, wide hips, large breasts, all things associated with good health and fertility. And of course a woman's peak biological fertility tends to be in her early twenties - zoomers, currently, are the most fertile women, statistically. Then there's the other side of that equation - are they likely to be able to raise children? Dudes look for women who are in good health, have good hygiene, are intelligent, able to look after themselves and aren't (too) crazy.

But Lucas ignores that women are doing exactly the same thing. A women wants more than a sperm donor, but even if that's all she wanted, she'd want a guy whose genetics look like they would produce healthy offspring - someone healthy, sane, fit and intelligent, i.e. not Lucas. But biologically, women are not looking for a sperm donor, they are looking for a man who will help her raise her children. As such, they value loyalty, and an ability to provide and protect, because a woman is very vulnerable when pregnant and she will need her other half to step up and help. What "protect and provide" means changes according to where you are in history. For a cavewoman, it means being able to fight off a sabre-tooth tiger or the tribe next door. For a medieval peasant, it means being able to make sure the family gets enough food (which is why in the Middle Ages, chubby people were considered attractive because that meant you had surplus food that could feed a family). Nowadays, it means an ability to earn money.

Now obviously sex and attraction is way more complex than that, but that is the genetic element, and in large part explains why we, as men and as women, find what we find attractive in partners, even if we're not normally aware of why that is - a guy just likes big boobs, a woman just likes a six-pack, but there are reasons why those are more generally sought-after than other attributes,

Lucas completely misses that his own logic and belief system explains exactly why zoomer baes won't date him because he is poor. Lucas would be the worst father in the world, on every level, however long his stupid telomeres are, and any woman (or man, frankly) can detect that within seconds. Even if a woman consciously does not want children, subconsciously that consideration is going to play a big role in her selection of a mate, and that is why Lucas being broke is one of the many, many reasons why he is so unattractive. Lucas can barely feed himself and gets like $20 in tard bux a month after paying for his tard house, which he has because he can't house himself either. If he can't feed himself or house himself without state assistance, how is he going to house and provide for children? He also radiates disloyalty - Lucas will get bored of a woman who is pregnant and will abandon her, that's obvious because he is utterly obsessed with sex, so he wouldn't stick around to help raise kids. If he followed his own logic even slightly he would realise that being "eager to please" doesn't help if you made your kids fatherless and homeless. He actually has the answers to his own questions, they're already there in his head, but his stupidity and narcissism will never let him make that connection.

 

[Bassomatic]

Lucas would sell his ideals out for puss puss in a second, he's just dumb but, if he had a nat soc gf he'd be all about gassing the kikes as long as he got his dick wet. We know he's ok losing a house for clinkerniggers, so sex he'd be ok losing his tard bucks. Now with out poly sperging, he'd assume nazi... half that word is socialism so good! Unaware what aktion T4 is. lol.

@Spunt pretty much summed up from a female POV sex. I'd like to expand as a male sex haver, sure we are gross horny things, and put our dick in crazy so often (word to King Roy) we birthed this website. Women are sexual too.

While we theorize, there's a legit possibility, Lucas has never had heterosexual sex (but we know he's a FAGGOT FOR SUCKING DICK FAGGOT sorry he just hates that so it's fun to expand on) if so there's a good chance it was a chore on Suzanne's side. I don't want to sperg about human sexuality too far esp on a lol cow thread but, women esp emotionally attached will allow sex for a partner in the mood. For longer relationships it's not just women and I'm not going to get into things but, we've all been there where ourselves or our partner is just like ok... get your rocks off.

In the case of Lucas, it's his BEST end case ever story. If that even happened. He's almost 50 years old and his best sex was "ok flop on top of me for 3 minutes and get it done" he's never made love, never shared his partners joy and body etc. He's a peak incel, despite sucking a guy off. It's also gross and shows his lack of care all he wants is sex like a 15 year old. Gender aside, I remember being 15, I'd want to put my penis in into anything warm, thank god I didn't live near a desert and found rattle snake bite victims. Jokes aside, there's nothing wrong with being horny or enjoying sex. I don't even care if you just hedonist chase tail (just don't get and spread stds like Lucas's MRSA).

He's gone out of the way, to show he's going to be a shit dad even with millions of dollars handed to him. Remember only poor white trash kids cry. It's insane, he thinks that let alone says it. I look at my oldest god son. He's in the military now, doing well and beyond chad level. He was super adorable (like any baby) but like any kid he cried when the sun came out, when he was tired, when he was hungry etc. It's how babies communicate, they don't have language skills (but learn early rap because Wu tang is for the children). It's got nothing to do with income or education. The fact he played that off like it's not a reality also shows to women he's unfit not just as a father but mentally. There's many things a guy could say, that would show a woman this guy wont be a good fit as a partner or father, but Lucas brags about something that's not real.

It's like your pick up line is yo gurll da earf is flat! As I said before women are sexual like men but different ways some girls will fuck a good looking guy even if hes "babe just me and my Harley on the open road." Lucas weighs more than a Road Hog, is insane and open his plans to abuse his next (never) gf. Even gutter hunting "bad boy" loving sluts wouldn't touch the guy.

This goes before we get into the economics of how insanely broke he is and how he would refuse to share his one sandwich a month income. God he's such a fag unlovable faggot. I hope Myrna steps on a rake as she waddles around her mexican hovel avoiding the plague she let upon us who have jobs.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

This goes before we get into the economics of how insanely broke he is and how he would refuse to share his one sandwich a month income. God he's such a fag unlovable faggot. I hope Myrna steps on a rake as she waddles around her mexican hovel avoiding the plague she let upon us who have jobs.

Do you think if Lucas won the lottery or inherited Roys elk kingdom he could find a gold digger that let's him flop around on top of her for 30 seconds? Would money overpower his disgusting habits?

 

[Aunt Carol]

Do you think if Lucas won the lottery or inherited Roys elk kingdom he could find a gold digger that let's him flop around on top of her for 30 seconds?

I've always heard that if you're going to explicitly marry for money, try to pick an elderly millionaire.

Lucas sure doesn't look like he's got a lot of years left in him. If he can't feel his feet and his kidneys don't work too great, there's a good chance these days that his penis isn't operable either.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I find it somewhat perplexing that Lucas is still around. Seems like 4-5 months ago he was on dialysis and looking close to death. We were all speculating on his immanent demise.

Now we seem to be back to the old Wern in his usual rut of social media posting and thirsting for genzee.

He doesn’t seem to be in any better shape physically. He is still fat as hell. He is still eating like garbage. What the hell is keeping him alive and ticking at this point?

His superior telemeres?

 

[Da Dude123]

I find it somewhat perplexing that Lucas is still around. Seems like 4-5 months ago he was on dialysis and looking close to death. We were all speculating on his immanent demise.

Now we seem to be back to the old Wern in his usual rut of social media posting and thirsting for genzee.

He doesn’t seem to be in any better shape physically. He is still fat as hell. He is still eating like garbage. What the hell is keeping him alive and ticking at this point?

His superior telemeres?

Oh, no. You've got it all wrong! Lucas is plenty healthy. He just talked about how he walks 15 miles a day. He is trying to lose weight! 15 miles a day, he says.

 

[WonderWino]

Oh, no. You've got it all wrong! Lucas is plenty healthy. He just talked about how he walks 15 miles a day. He is trying to lose weight! 15 miles a day, he says.


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The best part about this is how lucas is completely unaware that it it proves he's either a liar or stuffs himself like an absolute gluttonous pig to maintain a weight of 290 while 'walking 15 miles a day'

Plus it makes him sound old, what with the I walked 15 miles to school uphill in the snow in my day stuff you hear from stereotypical seniors bitching about their childhoods. He's edging ever closer to old man yelling at clouds territory

But what do you expect from a low IQ twit who's brain seems to be perpetually stuck in 1994. He's like that guy from that south park episode who got frozen for 18 months and everybody freaked out because he was stuck in 1996 so they couldn't relate to him. Sometimes art really does imitate real life

 

[Bassomatic]

I really love this lie, the avg person walks around 3 mph, so let's do some basic math here, Lucas is claiming he's walking 5 hours a day. We have seen him waddle, no way he's at that 3mph clip the avg person does, plus stops for rest, eating, bathroom etc. 15 miles probably more like 8 hours for him.

He's fat as fuck for him that's "exercise" well walking is a low impact exercise, but for you or I a non whale fat faggot, walking to him is the same as sit ups or bench presses for us. So he's claiming 1/3 a day he's strolling around, 9-5 doing crunches... think how stupid that lie is.

Lucas also is the same guy who claims he doesn't have shoes. It's a lovey combo a real one two punch.

This and the western world has serious issues with obesity, Lucas is legit part of the crisis. Me, sure my sports are a major part why I just had surgery I'll own up to that. But you know what? My kidneys work fine. My guts are good. I'm fighting fit. Lucas doesn't even pay for his own insurance and has no problem getting piles of meds, blood being cleaned by machines for him all that jazz.

No one in past 10 years have talked about fat shaming because the pigs who were out there saying healthy at any size have legit all died. From being fat. Lucas sized fat. We know he is lying and weighs more but he's still claiming nearly 300 lbs. Double what someone his size should weigh.

Also do you know who suffers from obesity the worst? Non whites. Lucas can't pass up a time to pick on the niggers, gooks, and beaners.

 

[AnOminous]

15 miles probably more like 8 hours for him.

Fat bitch gets out of breath just talking.