- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
His head is shaped like a fucking kidney bean. No, scratch that, a lima bean.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
-
🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Dare I say it, a fava bean.....which is even more appropriate when you remember that this is a thing:
Though seriously its more of a gourd shape
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
This was posted on the Brokeposting FB page. I forgot all about "Dorothy the Satanist". That was quite the saga. The cow, Lucas Werner, met some girl named Dorothy the Satanist at the homeless shelter that he totally thought was into him. What a stooge!
Also, the posted one of Lucas's old videos from the Corina and Shao Mane saga. That was so autistic. Lucas was cat fished and sent that Corina chick a picture of his micro dick and he mentions in the video that "if it is such a problem, I can take penis enhancing pills, sugar tits."
Also, the posted one of Lucas's old videos from the Corina and Shao Mane saga. That was so autistic. Lucas was cat fished and sent that Corina chick a picture of his micro dick and he mentions in the video that "if it is such a problem, I can take penis enhancing pills, sugar tits."
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Gee what a total interesting coincidence that 'dorothy the satanist' happens to fit lucas's fetishes so well. I'm sure that totally happened. and if by some miracle of satan (lol) this dorothy the satanist actually existed i'd legitimately suspect any such person would only be interested in someone like lucas due to looking for someone to do a human sacrifice on that wouldn't be missedThis was posted on the Brokeposting FB page. I forgot all about "Dorothy the Satanist". That was quite the saga. The cow, Lucas Werner, met some girl named Dorothy the Satanist at the homeless shelter that he totally thought was into him. What a stooge!
Also, the posted one of Lucas's old videos from the Corina and Shao Mane saga. That was so autistic. Lucas was cat fished and sent that Corina chick a picture of his micro dick and he mentions in the video that "if it is such a problem, I can take penis enhancing pills, sugar tits."
View attachment 5840585
Mitt Doggy Dogg
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2019
He mighta "met" a woman, by "met" he meant one walked by him but he was to scared to talk to her. From there it's only natural in his mind it escalated to whatever
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
Yeah, sure, cow. Women totally want a guy that looks like Jack Black. I so hope he is trying to go to bars again. I just hope we get a video of him getting booted out of a bar and him screaming "BIGOT, REEEE!".
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Lucas forgot about the part where he isn't jack black apparently
That said the second screenshot shows just how manipulative he is. See how he's trying to word things so he preemptively has a reason to ree about how he's getting rejected for 'being poor' the funny thing is thats not whats happening to him at all. There are tons of reasons women want nothing to do with him, being poor isn't even in the top 10 in his case. He's only 'poor' because he refuses to work anyway
and holy shit 'more the bop?' he's talking like he's interacting with teen girls from the 50s. i'm surprised nobody is ok boomering him. Its like he grabs things at random to try to sound 'with it' and ends up talking like dr evil. Like how he keeps using cool cat like its the fucking 50s
Telomere Savalas
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2020
The NCAA basketball playoffs are in Spokane this weekend. Games on Friday and Sunday. Gen Z hotties from around the country coming to see their schools play. With an off night Saturday, they'll be hitting the bars. Should be easy pickings for our hero.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
So I wonder if we'll be fortunate enough for lucas to not realize this, but go out creeping on the bars and seeing all these hot zoomer baes getting hit on by black basketball players and go on another psycho racist rant screaming nigger and adding athletes to his list of flatbill adjacent bigots stealing all the zoomer baes from him at the bars. Lucas recording himself outside of a bar ranting like that would be a real easy way for him to get himself back on the news all things considered
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Can't edit my post but the latest wernposts from brokeposting:
Unsurprisingly he starts to spaz out when he gets an obvious troll response he doesn't understand before realizing he was being trolled:
Its worth noting he didn't specify where he was referring to specifically. After all some countries have some real low drinking age laws
I guess lucas considers those 14 year old mexican zoomer baes to be old enough for him then. He has mentioned his love of tacos and mexicans alot after all
That said, with apologies to the steve miller band......
Some people call me the wern
Some people call me the lord of elk
Some people call me a creep
Because I preach about the fecundity of age gap love
Kiwifarms talks about me baby zoom
SOFALA says creeping on you is wrong
Well don't you worry baby zoom, don't worry
Cause i'm right now, right now, right now at the nursing home
Cause i'm a creeper
I'm a hobo
I'm a schizo
and I scream nigger
I scream about teen girls on the net
I'm an ex smoker
I'm a toker
I'm a chicken choker
I puke up mad dog in the sun
I'm a lolcow
I'm banned from starbucks
I spend my winters
In the nuthouse
My screams about lovin' make you run
You're the most fertile teen that I ever did see
I love your fecund ova
Wanna fist your V
Age gap lovey dovey lovey dovey i'll breed you fine
Whip out my EBT card and show you a good time
Unsurprisingly he starts to spaz out when he gets an obvious troll response he doesn't understand before realizing he was being trolled:
Its worth noting he didn't specify where he was referring to specifically. After all some countries have some real low drinking age laws
I guess lucas considers those 14 year old mexican zoomer baes to be old enough for him then. He has mentioned his love of tacos and mexicans alot after all
That said, with apologies to the steve miller band......
Some people call me the wern
Some people call me the lord of elk
Some people call me a creep
Because I preach about the fecundity of age gap love
Kiwifarms talks about me baby zoom
SOFALA says creeping on you is wrong
Well don't you worry baby zoom, don't worry
Cause i'm right now, right now, right now at the nursing home
Cause i'm a creeper
I'm a hobo
I'm a schizo
and I scream nigger
I scream about teen girls on the net
I'm an ex smoker
I'm a toker
I'm a chicken choker
I puke up mad dog in the sun
I'm a lolcow
I'm banned from starbucks
I spend my winters
In the nuthouse
My screams about lovin' make you run
You're the most fertile teen that I ever did see
I love your fecund ova
Wanna fist your V
Age gap lovey dovey lovey dovey i'll breed you fine
Whip out my EBT card and show you a good time
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
This is a masterpiece...I think.
I love it, yet also horrified by it.
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2015
Aww look at Lucas thinks he's got a big own. It's called SOCIAL media. Not pop sci media or scientific American etc. It's like going to a super market that has a small toy section and bitching rare hot wheels aren't there.
Also Lucas is a highschool drop out, not a scientist nor does he like science it's just something the schizo turns into a justification and bully tactic to lust for loli.
He's so ugly and that trying to be smug look sure doesn't help. He also looks flat dirty. What is it with lolcows and not bathing? Less it go unmentioned he's still huge. Massively over weight.
Hiding more chins than a Chinese phone book under your dollar store shades doesn't cover that hog jowl turkey neck thing.
I'm kinda impressed he has sunken eyes but from fat bulging around them lmao.
Ill be brief because this is one of Lucas atheist go tos that is just flat dumb and goes against science and religion ( interesting enough CS Lewis the Narnia guy was a nerd and Christian and wrote ayyyy lmaos are probably real about 100 years ago when that was considered taboo).
The sheer size and unknown leads maybe a god is real. To an ant is the moon real? They sleep at night so never saw it. Never saw a wave, don't watch TV or read to see Neil Armstrong. If we are that isolated who's to say nothing else even a God isn't there?
Back to Lewis early 1900s big group of Christian scientists just kinda put this together. 100 years later losers online terminal failures disagree with this.
It would be like if our grandkids started a "why smoking is healthy" while dying of lung cancer.
What Lucas wants in a wife is gross, it's all the signs of abuse and control. Hell even basic a young hot girl is hard enough college debt laden body count etc for a pig man like Lucas.I mean look at Leo DiCaprio! Dudes older than Lucas talented rich and famous and he changes girls more than most of us change socks. He's even said he'd like something stable. (Well Mrs bassomatic said so as she's reading her trash rags and I am nodding along to get a blowie later)
Is Lucas who wants even more and offered so much less think he's got a better hope than Leo? Lol! Plenty good rotten brain. I just can't see why a young girl with potential (or any)would want him. Hell no one does his family abandoned him he's got no friends. He's flat unlovable.
His high school story is something we never will know the truth about, I tend to lean to he failed out he's just a retard and lazy. When summer school etc was offered he blew it off expecting to be pampered as next lord regent of the elk kingdom and they had to set up a program for his GED. Then the McDonald's saga starting the path of the Wern we know today.
Dorothy the Satanist has definitely been upgraded to my favorite legitimately made member of the Wern verse.
I don't think she's real at all. Unlike how Wern gaslights many stories, his parents, former friends etc all exist. This story is just pure brain rot from Lucas. It just didn't happen. It fits far too many of his hopes. Even the most clean cut polite guys don't just bump into random teen girls who also happen to fit all their fetishes and fuck. I'm far from alone to say Wern is a porn brained sicko. So yeah not shocked he really thinks just like shaking a visa card gets you puss puss girls fuck random guys for hating on God.
Let me bring them another point Lucas has he keeps this story as real but why aren't you in touch anymore? You claim to be a nice guy want a long term partner you hit it and quit it. Don't even have deceny for a Facebook ad? Exchange #s? Sounds like fatbill pick up stuff. More reason we know this is just all fake.
He thinks he's being clever don't kiss and tell but then says we became friends. You'd not need to show any discreetness if it was friendly.
His passive aggressive stuff has to bleed out way more if you're unlucky enough to deal with him in person. The women are nice unless they deny me. text mark abusive shit. Because Lucas Colby Werner has had one girlfriend whom he was abusive to I'm not shocked he plans to do it again.
I kinda have a lovely mental image of Lucas sitting down on the side walk out front of a Spokane bar just hoping some girl asks him for marriage. He probably had some danger hair drunk 22 year old throw a dollar at him I mean he legitimately is a bum.
There's some style of humor when you take part self depreciation using old slang but for Lucas HE'S OLD! Not hip or with it. For him he thinks he sounds smart or mature when it just adds to him coming off as creepy and unhinged.
He uses Photoshop but fake lashes are bad? What's real about Lucas? He's a massive liar. Say what you will about fake lashes nails etc girls choose to do that spending their own hard earned money and time to look better for either guys or themselves. That's cool. Lucas doesn't even do laundry from the free clothes he gets at Christian donations. Lucas gaslights. If I saw a girl in a wig or something I know that. Everyone does. Lucas hides much darker things. Like abuse be it mental physical and probably sexual. A girl with a bad hair cut and a weave is just hiding merely a bad chop job. Who cares that's not who she is deep down. Lucas acts like super uncle but we never got the story why he's banned around his baby niece.
Also Lucas is a highschool drop out, not a scientist nor does he like science it's just something the schizo turns into a justification and bully tactic to lust for loli.
He's so ugly and that trying to be smug look sure doesn't help. He also looks flat dirty. What is it with lolcows and not bathing? Less it go unmentioned he's still huge. Massively over weight.
Hiding more chins than a Chinese phone book under your dollar store shades doesn't cover that hog jowl turkey neck thing.
I'm kinda impressed he has sunken eyes but from fat bulging around them lmao.
Ill be brief because this is one of Lucas atheist go tos that is just flat dumb and goes against science and religion ( interesting enough CS Lewis the Narnia guy was a nerd and Christian and wrote ayyyy lmaos are probably real about 100 years ago when that was considered taboo).
The sheer size and unknown leads maybe a god is real. To an ant is the moon real? They sleep at night so never saw it. Never saw a wave, don't watch TV or read to see Neil Armstrong. If we are that isolated who's to say nothing else even a God isn't there?
Back to Lewis early 1900s big group of Christian scientists just kinda put this together. 100 years later losers online terminal failures disagree with this.
It would be like if our grandkids started a "why smoking is healthy" while dying of lung cancer.
What Lucas wants in a wife is gross, it's all the signs of abuse and control. Hell even basic a young hot girl is hard enough college debt laden body count etc for a pig man like Lucas.I mean look at Leo DiCaprio! Dudes older than Lucas talented rich and famous and he changes girls more than most of us change socks. He's even said he'd like something stable. (Well Mrs bassomatic said so as she's reading her trash rags and I am nodding along to get a blowie later)
Is Lucas who wants even more and offered so much less think he's got a better hope than Leo? Lol! Plenty good rotten brain. I just can't see why a young girl with potential (or any)would want him. Hell no one does his family abandoned him he's got no friends. He's flat unlovable.
His high school story is something we never will know the truth about, I tend to lean to he failed out he's just a retard and lazy. When summer school etc was offered he blew it off expecting to be pampered as next lord regent of the elk kingdom and they had to set up a program for his GED. Then the McDonald's saga starting the path of the Wern we know today.
Dorothy the Satanist has definitely been upgraded to my favorite legitimately made member of the Wern verse.
I don't think she's real at all. Unlike how Wern gaslights many stories, his parents, former friends etc all exist. This story is just pure brain rot from Lucas. It just didn't happen. It fits far too many of his hopes. Even the most clean cut polite guys don't just bump into random teen girls who also happen to fit all their fetishes and fuck. I'm far from alone to say Wern is a porn brained sicko. So yeah not shocked he really thinks just like shaking a visa card gets you puss puss girls fuck random guys for hating on God.
Let me bring them another point Lucas has he keeps this story as real but why aren't you in touch anymore? You claim to be a nice guy want a long term partner you hit it and quit it. Don't even have deceny for a Facebook ad? Exchange #s? Sounds like fatbill pick up stuff. More reason we know this is just all fake.
He thinks he's being clever don't kiss and tell but then says we became friends. You'd not need to show any discreetness if it was friendly.
His passive aggressive stuff has to bleed out way more if you're unlucky enough to deal with him in person. The women are nice unless they deny me. text mark abusive shit. Because Lucas Colby Werner has had one girlfriend whom he was abusive to I'm not shocked he plans to do it again.
I kinda have a lovely mental image of Lucas sitting down on the side walk out front of a Spokane bar just hoping some girl asks him for marriage. He probably had some danger hair drunk 22 year old throw a dollar at him I mean he legitimately is a bum.
There's some style of humor when you take part self depreciation using old slang but for Lucas HE'S OLD! Not hip or with it. For him he thinks he sounds smart or mature when it just adds to him coming off as creepy and unhinged.
He uses Photoshop but fake lashes are bad? What's real about Lucas? He's a massive liar. Say what you will about fake lashes nails etc girls choose to do that spending their own hard earned money and time to look better for either guys or themselves. That's cool. Lucas doesn't even do laundry from the free clothes he gets at Christian donations. Lucas gaslights. If I saw a girl in a wig or something I know that. Everyone does. Lucas hides much darker things. Like abuse be it mental physical and probably sexual. A girl with a bad hair cut and a weave is just hiding merely a bad chop job. Who cares that's not who she is deep down. Lucas acts like super uncle but we never got the story why he's banned around his baby niece.
Mitt Doggy Dogg
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2019
Are black athletes not already on his flatbill list? Seems like they would be a natural fit. Also good job on the steve miller song that shits funny
Hidden Shopkeeper
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2022
I know this was posted a bit ago but I want to mention something- the top middle message. iirc wasn't he claiming to be closer to 200lbs? is this the heaviest he's claimed/admitted to be?
Also, the recent picture posted by @Rogowski . idk if I'm just reading into things but it looks like both of his eyes have that "black eye bruising" kind of look. is that something a kidney issue could cause?
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2015
Aside Lucas being racist he's spiteful to everyone. He's Dr. Nigga Luke heir to the elk kingdom. He's never once been appeased or thankful. The more someone out shines him the more he hates them.
While he is actually racist he will also add a race in when that's not the reason he's mad at said person or group that moment.
I admit there's a lot of problems with student athletes and sports. But I taught as part of my PhD an most of kids I had were college wrestlers from a good team, my best students. I actually have a signed poster from one who went to tournament in basketball. I think the grueling routine helped them in class. Reminded me of the vets. After 2 years in Iraq and boot camp a pop quiz defining the term supply side was nothing to groan about.
Student athletes have to be one of Lucas arc enemies. Youth,fitness, futures, education etc. the first part youth I listed because that all of us feel some jealousy. Let's be real it doesn't impact our lives but oh to be twenty again! Youth is wasted on the young is an age old saying.
Lucas has had the time in the thing the youth lacks . But he's worse off than he was at 20 or an in debt college kid eating ramen.
I don't buy the bars were empty on Friday like he claimed. He just didn't go he's not welcome and he's too lazy.
When you think about it it becomes funnier as a lie. Lucas who's "ready to be a father" has to lie about going out and having a beer. Not in the alky hiding a drink but this guy is over 40 and can't get himself a short walk and single pint? This is not an adult man. Also aside being banned let's not forget he lied he doesn't have shoes. Safety thing no shirt no shoes no service. But he walks 15 miles a day.
Yeah he's so fat his body is having issues. But also he's dirty. I forgot name but if you're a no shower not like Lucas black spots can build where it's dead (MRSA infected) skin blocking up pores. You need alcohol swabs to clean at that point. It also could be end of infection. Possibly lack of sleep but the big faggot does nothing but look at CP, eat and sleep. Unless his meds prevent him getting to REM.
While he is actually racist he will also add a race in when that's not the reason he's mad at said person or group that moment.
I admit there's a lot of problems with student athletes and sports. But I taught as part of my PhD an most of kids I had were college wrestlers from a good team, my best students. I actually have a signed poster from one who went to tournament in basketball. I think the grueling routine helped them in class. Reminded me of the vets. After 2 years in Iraq and boot camp a pop quiz defining the term supply side was nothing to groan about.
Student athletes have to be one of Lucas arc enemies. Youth,fitness, futures, education etc. the first part youth I listed because that all of us feel some jealousy. Let's be real it doesn't impact our lives but oh to be twenty again! Youth is wasted on the young is an age old saying.
Lucas has had the time in the thing the youth lacks . But he's worse off than he was at 20 or an in debt college kid eating ramen.
I don't buy the bars were empty on Friday like he claimed. He just didn't go he's not welcome and he's too lazy.
When you think about it it becomes funnier as a lie. Lucas who's "ready to be a father" has to lie about going out and having a beer. Not in the alky hiding a drink but this guy is over 40 and can't get himself a short walk and single pint? This is not an adult man. Also aside being banned let's not forget he lied he doesn't have shoes. Safety thing no shirt no shoes no service. But he walks 15 miles a day.
Yeah he's so fat his body is having issues. But also he's dirty. I forgot name but if you're a no shower not like Lucas black spots can build where it's dead (MRSA infected) skin blocking up pores. You need alcohol swabs to clean at that point. It also could be end of infection. Possibly lack of sleep but the big faggot does nothing but look at CP, eat and sleep. Unless his meds prevent him getting to REM.
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2022
So many hot zoomer girls from Grand Canyon were there. Saturday night was probably the best chance Lucas would ever see for hot young women to ignore and slink away from the fat smelly bum.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
reposts from brokeposting but still amusing:
Lucas trying to sound smart again while talking stupid as fuck
That said I wonder what jigsaw would do to lucas as a test. Poisoning him and making him suck the antidote out of some guy that looks like cyrils dick? Locking his gourd head in some kind of crushing contraption locked in two spots and then implanting the keys into lucas's own testicles, forcing him to tear them off himself to get at the keys? There would have to be a recorded messaging asking will you do whatever it takes to survive or is it just not in the cards for you lucas?
Lucas trying to sound smart again while talking stupid as fuck
That said I wonder what jigsaw would do to lucas as a test. Poisoning him and making him suck the antidote out of some guy that looks like cyrils dick? Locking his gourd head in some kind of crushing contraption locked in two spots and then implanting the keys into lucas's own testicles, forcing him to tear them off himself to get at the keys? There would have to be a recorded messaging asking will you do whatever it takes to survive or is it just not in the cards for you lucas?
Belisarius Cawl
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2024
I wish I had never challenged Lucas Werner about anything, resulting in him blocking me. I don't even remember what it was about other than it had nothing to do with his deeply held core beliefs about telomerase and I was very mild in criticizing his ideas.
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2014
Tbh
It would have been inevitable. The reason you don't see laugh reacts on his posts any more is he blocks them all. He blocks you speaking up he blocks you for laughing at him and the reason he whines about all the followers that don't engage his posts is because he can't tell if you support him or ridicule him