Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[HackerX]

100% agreed. While I totally agree with the rule of leaving lolcows to their own devices (especially when there was a real chance of actual harm), this was hilariousssss and the entire story arc deserves an, at least, 1 hour long @Fatal Walter breakdown. Every single part of this story is more mind bending, ridiculous, and insane than the last. We all know Lucas is a moron, but HOW did he not see this is a catfish? A millionaire teen girl wants to fly you out and put you up at the Ritz and then get you a job?? You still get on the plane when somebody registers you with a lap infant called "itsnotinthecards Werner"?? Also the fact that he did all this without showering for days/weeks and had no money with him to get home. Just unreal.

My favorite part was the Uber from the airport. Yes, elaborate trolling plans are homosexual, but I always appreciate the little things. Some of his vids from LA made you think he realized he made a mistake for the first time in his life. Fast-forward a few years and he clearly didn't realize it. He's just as susceptible now to a random plane ticket than ever.

 

[mothman96]

Creeper is up and around. I wonder if Mallon gave him something yesterday to knock him out.

Enemies

 

[VoidFace]

Creeper is up and around. I wonder if Mallon gave him something yesterday to knock him out.

Enemies

Admitted pedophile using the music of other pedophile. Amazing.

And tbf he had stayed up all night the night before, and he’s old, so it’s possible he was sleeping.

 

[mothman96]

Admitted pedophile using the music of other pedophile. Amazing.

And tbf he had stayed up all night the night before, and he’s old, so it’s possible he was sleeping.

The night staff would have known he was psycho the whole night and continued his insanity through the morning. Been thinking when he went for lunch he was given something to calm him down and it knocked him out.

 

[SteveGoatman]

My favorite part was the Uber from the airport. Yes, elaborate trolling plans are homosexual, but I always appreciate the little things. Some of his vids from LA made you think he realized he made a mistake for the first time in his life. Fast-forward a few years and he clearly didn't realize it. He's just as susceptible now to a random plane ticket than ever.

Exactly. the Uber ride, the fact that he was still trying to chat up (what he thought was) some other teen while he was heading to LA etc. Incredible. My other favorite part was when he started to retcon the whole experience into him looking for a job but also wanting to "see what Covid did to LA"....as if it would be different from how it hit Spokane etc. Then all the sudden he was in love with LA and it's ethnic diversity and how it smells etc and how he was going to try and move there and go to school and live with various brown people. Absolute peak hilarity and I agree that he has learned precisely nothing.

 

[Wooden Spoon]

“I don’t know if it’s determined by the sperm or the egg what the sex is, but I think it’s just random.”
-Doctor Nigga Lucas Werner, reproductive expert

Males determine gender. Males are the only one who carry the Y chromosome (XY). Women only have X (XX). So sperm carry the Y chromosome and eggs have X chromosomes.
-some random kiwi farmer with an understanding of basic biology

 

[mothman96]

Bound to dry up every woman that comes across this vomit. Oh and he's back to baiting with king Roy's 12 acres and of course the "inheritance" when his parents kick the bucket. The Creep can't wait until his parents are six feet under.

 

[VoidFace]

Bound to dry up every woman that comes across this vomit. Oh and he's back to baiting with king Roy's 12 acres and of course the "inheritance" when his parents kick the bucket. The Creep can't wait until his parents are six feet under.

Those are both pretty vile, even for him. And he is still surprised he is single and has been unwanted for the better part of 20 years.

 

[spiritofamermaid]

Every time the stuff about him picking up sticks it makes me think that in the blair witch project it was really lucas creeping around the woods in 1994, leaving stickmen outside the tent as an offering to heather, screaming lunacy in the woods at night and trying to scare off the flatbill guys so he could creep on heather in the woods of washington state, only to have them wander into the dilapidated werner family home in the elk kingdom at the end of the movie, being essentially herded there by lucas, not realizing king roy fucked off years earlier and left the place abandoned, which enrages lucas and causes her to kill mike and heather at the end

and remember a few days I ago I wondered how long it would take before lucas cycled back to his poet wern insanity? Well....

View attachment 6223289
Like fucking clockwork. Even in his poetry he's angry as fuck and literally repeating the same exact insanity he's been talking non stop, just put into a badly structured poetry form. Still disappointed he didn't call it shall I compare thee to a zoomer bae though

and I see he's talking about supporting BLM and pride despite screaming nigger all the time and pointing out how much he wants to manipulate gays to his own end, how much he spazzes out at any hint whatsoever of having done any gay shit himself and reeeeing big time about troons

The whole thing reminds me of this:

Same energy

Sorry for replying to an old post, but it hit me while I was reading the poem. It scans very well to Ice, Ice, Baby. Given his mental state I'm sure it's either a coincidence or he has listened to that song a LOT.

 

[WonderWino]

Exactly. the Uber ride, the fact that he was still trying to chat up (what he thought was) some other teen while he was heading to LA etc. Incredible. My other favorite part was when he started to retcon the whole experience into him looking for a job but also wanting to "see what Covid did to LA"....as if it would be different from how it hit Spokane etc. Then all the sudden he was in love with LA and it's ethnic diversity and how it smells etc and how he was going to try and move there and go to school and live with various brown people. Absolute peak hilarity and I agree that he has learned precisely nothing.

No, he absolutely did learn one thing from the whole experience: that there is always going to be at least one idiot who will bail him out if he does something as stupid as the LA saga again

I don't doubt that he preferred the climate, at least at the time given how cold it was in spokane and him living at the bus station at the time, and given how lucas seems to have a preference for mexican food, he did probably react well to seeing all the mexican food and shops in LA, but other than that I suspect the rest was bs that was as much about trying to convince himself he hadn't just dug himself a really big hole and was in serious trouble as it was trying to prove to everyone he knew was watching the whole thing unfold that he totally wasn't close to having some kind of terrified breakdown cause of the whole thing. Frankly he's lucky the whole thing was just a guy trolling him and wasn't somebody with a particular hate on for pedos like him who was legitimately trying to do him harm. Cause it would have been just as easy to tell him he was being taken to the ritz carlton and have the uber drive him out to some desert shithole in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a shitty gas station and drop him off there. No wifi, nothing within walking distance but desert, he didn't know anything about the area and he had no money. Short of calling the cops and starting a shitshow that would have ended with him having some real difficult questions to answer as to why he was there in the first place (despite his claims in that phone call of having called the cops I don't buy that he did for a second, the moment he started talking about how he got there they'd have had some serious questions for him and would have gotten suspicious that he was a pedo trying to meet a teen girl at the hotel and given how his story didn't make any sense at all he'd have ended up having to have a long talk with the LAPD about it, which clearly didn't happen) or have to call his parents and have an even more awkward talk with them about how the fuck he ended up flying to LA and begging them to bail him out of it. You just know when they first heard what he'd done they likely fully expected to suddenly hear about him getting busted by chris hansen or some shit, considering the circumstances they were told about and were bracing for a shitshow at first

He really should have been left in LA and been forced to pull his usual hobo bullshit there for awhile to show him how badly he fucked up with that one

 

[Da Dude123]

The LA Saga. Him messaging another teen girl catfish, I don't remember that. Can I get a refresher on that? I remember he was there to meet a teen girl who he had never spoke to, only messaged who was gonna take care of him. Lucas thought the whole thing was plenty good and he wasn't at all suspicious. So he was still trying to make time with another catfish while he was talking to the catfish in LA?

 

[mothman96]

Those are both pretty vile, even for him. And he is still surprised he is single and has been unwanted for the better part of 20 years.

The Creeper has been on a diet of porn for the majority of his life. Porn has "formed" his idea of what sex is. Especially porn of the teen/barely legal type. It really doesn't surprise me he spews that crap.

He had a laptop for a time when he lived at Pioneer Pathway. I'm sure his current laptop is getting the same type of use.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lucas-werner.17234/page-428#post-5492073

 

[Free the Pedos]

My favorite part was the Uber from the airport

The lap child called “Notinthecards Werner” was the best part.

 

[VoidFace]

Ooooh he seems like he's getting big mad about Mallon now. How long before he decides it isn't worth it and ends up getting kicked out?

 

[mothman96]

Ooooh he seems like he's getting big mad about Mallon now. How long before he decides it isn't worth it and ends up getting kicked out?

Looks to be the other residents are avoiding him. When the women see him they start talking to the nearest guy so the Creep won't come near.

 

[Fatal Walter]

I also need to be reminded about the LA catfishing. I made a video about it but there's definitely more to cover.

 

[VoidFace]

More lying about the inheritance he will never get, apparently where is is makes him "feel like [he] is in hell":

 

[mothman96]

Lucas -- you are living in a hell of your own making. Your hell will be with you until you die alone.

And Lucas -- your parents know you want them dead soon.

 

[Pedophobe]

If his dad has twelve acres (that's a glorified backyard) why is he homeless in Spokane? Surely no family would leave their son to rot like that if they loved him and had the means to help.

 

[mothman96]

If his dad has twelve acres (that's a glorified backyard) why is he homeless in Spokane? Surely no family would leave their son to rot like that if they loved him and had the means to help.

King Roy and the Creeper's mother Myrna left him to be homeless in Olympia too.