Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I doubt Lucas even tries talking to women since he always goes back to his videos on "How to talk to women" which seems like bad coping. And he's obviously not in the position for any kind of relationship now, so. His only slight realistic hope are lonely old women like Suzanne, and probably much fatter now.

 

[WonderWino]

I doubt Lucas even tries talking to women since he always goes back to his videos on "How to talk to women" which seems like bad coping. And he's obviously not in the position for any kind of relationship now, so. His only slight realistic hope are lonely old women like Suzanne, and probably much fatter now.

Yeah exactly. Lucas barely talks to any women beyond female workers and such. After the starbucks incident and getting trolled so many times he's paranoid as fuck about getting into trouble for it. He treats talking to women and approaching women like he's planning logistical shit for dday, which is part stupidity on his part and part deliberately coming up with reasons to avoid approaching women out of fear of it going badly and either being made a fool of or called a creep. He does the same thing with his plans to go to bars or back to school or get a job, there are always reasons not to do it like no glasses, needing new shoes, needing an id, etc...

His real plan is to reee publicly like he's been doing in the hope that by some twisted miracle some random rich, hot fecund 18 year old giant titted baby crazy zoomer bae will somehow come across one of his videos, instantly fall madly in love and throw herself at him. On some level even lucas knows this is not a likely outcome which is why he gets so angry about it and blames everyone and everything else for him. After all, for all his insanity and attempts at self delusion its the one thing he can't really deny - that when it comes down to it he's 45 and living in a nursing home and hasn't had any actual interest from anyone in 14 years. Regardless of the reasons for it it still is what it is at the end of the day. Single is single

If lucas keeled over tomorrow and his parents did the cryonics thing on him and it somehow worked and he was revived and healed the first thing he'd do 500 years from now is reee on whatever form the internet is in by then about how he doesn't have a girlfriend and go right back to his old habits. Hell he'd go full on predator thinking that nobody knew his history or would be keeping an eye on him. So if that day were to ever come we should crowdfund preserving walter fate and klickitat with copies of the full history of wernology in a similar manner so they can follow lucas into the future and defend the teen girls of the future from his telomeres

 

[HackerX]

You may not like him, but he's telling the truth. There are no factors regarding sireing children than the length of their telomeres. The 18-24 ova bearer need not consider whether her perspective breeder is a good partner, nor provider, only that the breed is a male between the ages of 35-55 for peak telomeric length. Now stop being bigots Gen Z, and embrace Lucas's telomeres.

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

It's a really difficult situation for those poor baby zooms, because as we all know, every male between 35-55 is exactly like Lucas. We're all hoping some day that science will invent a middle aged man with stable housing, an established career, a clean criminal record, and a working erection. But until then Lucas is plenty good.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I doubt Lucas even tries talking to women since he always goes back to his videos on "How to talk to women" which seems like bad coping. And he's obviously not in the position for any kind of relationship now, so. His only slight realistic hope are lonely old women like Suzanne, and probably much fatter now.

"How to Talk to Women" - But its honest!
1) Stare awkwardly while cradling your drink
2) Set up a board game and/or food trap and wait for a woman to come to you
3) Corner her in the communal kitchen space and make wierd small talk
4) Beg another dude to be your wingman and talk to women for you
5) Blackmail suspected drug dealers into pimping their junkie girls to you
6) Cry to mommy when the girls don't like you

 

[WonderWino]

"How to Talk to Women" - But its honest!
4) Beg another dude to be your wingman and talk to women for you

Lucas is getting dangerously close to lloyds tell her i'm rich and good looking and have a rapist wit moment with that. Probably not too far off from the I desperately want to make love to a school boy moment either

EDIT:

I was watching this and when chris hansen asks the guy why does it say big daddy on your cashapp all I could think of was lucas begging for free money talking about how his is kingdaddytelomerase

Real interesting how that pedos cashapp is eerily similar to lucas's isn't it

He's posted a few more videos:

So he thinks the phrase single and ready to mingle is from 70s porn and 80s sitcoms. What the fuck

This makes him come off as batshit mental

 

[HackerX]

This makes him come off as batshit mental

Seems all there to me. Who needs to go to a major city when they can get the downtown experience for free?

Hot, fresh Werntent. Get it while it's hot!

There's a very cruel, sick part of me that wants MAGA Chad to knock up Schizo Stacey. I honestly think that would send Lucas to thr forever land of puzzles. I'm imagining him rocking back and forth in a straight jacket mooing about the length of telomeres and ages 35-55, on repeat. (Even more on repeat than usual)

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Those last two videos are fucking grim. He's just wandering around outside all day and into the night in winter, mumbling under an obnoxious and seemingly random soundtrack into his phone about telomerase, about "attractive children", about how he'll make sure you're not a catfish with a video call before taking the bus to meet you somewhere public for what I'm sure will be a magical fucking first date. His general presentation is so tired, defeated, and depressed in these. Look at his eyes!! In the second one especially he can barely keep them open, but in both they're some of the most haggard, soulless pits I've ever seen. He seems like he can barely summon the energy to believe in the bae fantasy at this point, like he's crashing from manic phase into depressive, and yet something fucking compels him to wander the cold, dark, empty streets, saying into his phone things he was too afraid to say to the women in the bar he supposedly went to a few weeks back.

I know he'll come back around to Smug Lucas and be eating fried chicken off his tits in a warm bed in Mallon again soon (if he doesn't actually get kicked out), but it is sort of haunting to see these long nights of the soul he has. It makes me wonder how many other turbo-losers are out there, living their self-inflicted nightmares, but just not documenting themselves.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

Those last two videos are fucking grim

Dude I woke up sick as fuck, like the kind where your senses are super sensitive, and that first video seems like what it would be in hell for him. Dark, cold, lonely, tired.

 

[TunnelJew]

Those last two videos are fucking grim. He's just wandering around outside all day and into the night in winter, mumbling under an obnoxious and seemingly random soundtrack into his phone about telomerase, about "attractive children", about how he'll make sure you're not a catfish with a video call before taking the bus to meet you somewhere public for what I'm sure will be a magical fucking first date. His general presentation is so tired, defeated, and depressed in these. Look at his eyes!! In the second one especially he can barely keep them open, but in both they're some of the most haggard, soulless pits I've ever seen. He seems like he can barely summon the energy to believe in the bae fantasy at this point, like he's crashing from manic phase into depressive, and yet something fucking compels him to wander the cold, dark, empty streets, saying into his phone things he was too afraid to say to the women in the bar he supposedly went to a few weeks back.

I know he'll come back around to Smug Lucas and be eating fried chicken off his tits in a warm bed in Mallon again soon (if he doesn't actually get kicked out), but it is sort of haunting to see these long nights of the soul he has. It makes me wonder how many other turbo-losers are out there, living their self-inflicted nightmares, but just not documenting themselves.

Wow Lucas can really fuck tho. He’s had a lotta sex.

This fingerbanging an 18 year old black chick thing when he was 34 is new to me. Has this crossed anyone else’s desk?

Aside from being disgusting Goy behaviour, I doubt it’s true.

 

[Particle Bored]

"Single and ready to mingle" is derivative and passé.

"Hi I'm Pukas. You're so beautiful. Can I buy you a drink?" is the kind of cutting-edge curveball that will knock the zoomers off their feet.

 

[mothman96]

Seems all there to me. Who needs to go to a major city when they can get the downtown experience for free?

Hot, fresh Werntent. Get it while it's hot!

Keeping in mind what the Creeper has said about people driving/having vehicles, starting at the :38 mark he goes on to where he and the zoomer chick are going to meet. Probably at "his place". He says "I don't have a car, you have a car that would be great" . If she has a car it would be great because he would expect for her to pick him up (at his place) for the date Having/driving a vehicle is bad unless the vehicle benefits him.

Wow Lucas can really fuck tho. He’s had a lotta sex.

This fingerbanging an 18 year old black chick thing when he was 34 is new to me. Has this crossed anyone else’s desk?

Aside from being disgusting Goy behaviour, I doubt it’s true.

If I am remembering right , he has brought it up before. Just like all the 7 -8? "girlfriends he's had.

 

[HackerX]

It's true! There really is nothing you can do about it. Dare I say, it's not in the cards?

It's really bizarre because half the time he's so completely unaware that he's talking about himself. The other half it's him complaining that no one is providing him a zoomer.

Apparently a Johnny was mentioned and he got laid after Lucas spilled his secret telomeres pickup lines. Unfortunately, Johnny was greedy and didn't yeet him a bae.

After sperging about atheism, "We're like Subway. We're the fastest grow fast food restaurant." LOL, haven't they been shuttering an insane amount of stores because corporate had no deference in who franchised where? It really is kinda like atheism though. It was once a hot trend, but after a while, people began trending back to spiritualism in some form of fashion.

Edit: Some more.

Mooing about the salary cap thrust upon him. Then how the upper class should pay their fair share so that everyone can become middle class. He wants a smart, intelligent, and nice chick who needs to be especially nice towards him (that part always makes me LOL.) She also has to AT LEAST look at the level of Natalie Portman or Mila Kunis. He ends it with el classico. "I haven't had a girlfriend in 14 years. Prove there's a loving God."

To sum it up, Lucas wants a smart and intelligent Hollywood starlet as his girlfriend and he'll accept nothing less. If she doesn't materialize right now right now right now, God doesn't exist.

"2/3rds of Gen Z voters would vote for a socialist candidate. Where's the love for Lucas?"

More mooing at the orgies going on at the group home and Lucas not being invited. Apparently Johnny and Vee (Victoria?) have been together for 2 months and I assume they are MAGA Chad and Schizo Stacey. He does on go iterate each individual at Mallon Place that's fucking. A bunch of them don't have jobs, but they fucking. I didn't realize that was a prerequisite for people to be fucking? And that's pretty much it. One of the more deranged vids.

 

[WonderWino]

He's put out a few more videos:

No fat chicks. and the reason that I say that is cause theres too much fat acceptance out there says the morbidly obese hobo

and fuck you if you're a fat woman you don't deserve any love from me. If someone said that to him he'd spaz right the fuck out

He also admits to having a '300lb girth'

The bizarre choice of music in this one makes him come off as that much more looney. and he seems to think believing in something without proof it exists means it doesn't exist. Thats not how it works at all lucas

He's also mispronouncing things again. and holy shit he looks like a street hobo the way he's dressed and with that sketchy hobo beard

 

[HackerX]

He's put out a few more videos:

Just Lucas things. He'll go on and on and on about theist bigots that won't date him and look down on socialist atheists, but God forbid there's ever 5 seconds of introspection along the lines of "socialist atheists won't date me either! Why is that?" Hell, he claims that the vast majority of the zoomer bae population are socialist atheists, but he implies none exist if you read between the lines.

I always wonder why he never proceeds to that step of logical reasoning. Like, is he being willfully ignorant or is he really that much of a retard? (TBH, I assume it's the latter)

No fat chicks. and the reason that I say that is cause theres too much fat acceptance out there says the morbidly obese hobo

and fuck you if you're a fat woman you don't deserve any love from me. If someone said that to him he'd spaz right the fuck out

He also admits to having a '300lb girth'

LOL. "Fat chicks don't deserve any kind of love". The retard is so on the nose with everything, it's surreal, except it's obviously unintentional. The end of the video is extremely bizarre. He completed shifted his thought process on a dime and it's even more incoherent than usual.

The bizarre choice of music in this one makes him come off as that much more looney. and he seems to think believing in something without proof it exists means it doesn't exist. Thats not how it works at all lucas

He's also mispronouncing things again. and holy shit he looks like a street hobo the way he's dressed and with that sketchy hobo beard

Completely deranged. Theists must provide Lucas a beautiful lady to prove God exists, but they won't because they're a bunch of assholes. LOL. Just like how Lucas thinks everyone at the nursing home is fucking each other, I'm pretty sure Lucas thinks God exists for everyone but himself.


Edit. MORE

When he does "Prove God", it's like Charlie Day in Always Sunny.

Comment from video. I'm curious how Lucas will respond.

 

[mothman96]

No fat chicks. and the reason that I say that is cause theres too much fat acceptance out there says the morbidly obese hobo

and fuck you if you're a fat woman you don't deserve any love from me. If someone said that to him he'd spaz right the fuck out

He also admits to having a '300lb girth'

The Creeper downplays his weight so by now he's likely over 300 with size D moobs.

ETA:

Note to Lucas:

You say "no sweat" to getting married on your father's 12 acres when he has not invited you to visit in over 15 years.

The truth and no denying by you will change it :

Your father Roy does not want you showing up at his house.

Your mother Myrna moved all the way down to AZ to get far away so you will not show up at her house.

ETA2:
Saw Lucas's comment on Wernology's latest video:
Like the Creeper has the choice.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Nobody is asking for much folks? We just need to find a Mila Kunis tier Gen Z Hottie who wants to sexually please and financially support a mentally ill, obese narcissist who lives in a group home? (Moses parting the Red Sea is a lot more plausible than such a woman existing).
If you aren't hooking ole boy up with this mythical Gen Z hottie, you're a bigot and thinking that you should keep that woman for yourself... because women are like cattle and don't have any real free agency. I know I only hook women up with other Christian Men because of my bigotry (which is out of hand) and a fear that I might to want to claim them as mine later.

I'm 6'3 and 240lbs. I've got a dad bod (and am currently working on shedding it). Lucas, you're 300lbs, you don't have a dad bod, you're a ham planet. When I look down in the shower, I can see my feet and my dick... I don't think that's the case for you (though you don't seem to shower that often).

This man is alive solely because Christian homeless shelters fed and clothed him for years. In 20 years, he has done nothing to provide for himself and has existed either off of productive citizen's tax dollars or the charity of the very theists he despises. Instead of looking at the selfless acts of those volunteers that have given their own time and money to better the lives of those less fortunate and seeing the goodness of people trying to replicate Christ's example, he sees it either as, at best, inadequate or at worst as something he's owed.

I'm a touch rusty on my scripture, but I don't remember Christ saying "Bring unto the elderly, the obese and the indigent a lithe young woman, for he shall fist her and it will be good". I should probably bust out my bible again, I'm sure it's in there somewhere.

I'm gonna dance with this one. Let's say we find young woman for Lucas. What does a child's life look like with Lucas Werner as the father?

I suppose he'd save money on childcare because he doesn't work. However, he also wasn't big on domestic labor. He mentioned staying at home and drawing back in the day while Suzanne was at work and that evening she came home and fixed the fence. He also made a video back in the day where he and 'his wife' were going to go out and do something (I think drink or smoke weed) and leave the kids to their own devices. Probably not the guy I'd choose to watch my children.

At 45 and having never held a job for any period of time, I can't imagine he's going to be able to earn enough to be the primary breadwinner and a Gen Z Bae is going to be struggling to get her feet underneath her in her career. I also am not certain how he's going to procreate if he's impotent (maybe he can ejaculate from his knuckles).

That's not to mention that he's said some really disturbing things to underage girls. For example, he tried to convince a 14 year old to cut off their finger to prove her love to him. He was posting attraction signs outside of High Schools (you know, for the 14-15 year old kids who were walking home to see). That's not even going into what went on with his niece.

If he had a kid and it survived to pre-pubescence (these are big if's) it'd be a horror show. If it was a boy he'd have it beaten into his head that he shouldn't date a woman his age until he's in his 30's (and might be groomed into bringing home girls for Lucas to hit on). As the father of a daughter, I struggle to expound on what I think he'd do to his daughter.

I think I could make a case that God's Mercy is better shown through his inability to find a woman to have children with him than it would be if he could find one.

 

[HackerX]

ETA2:
Saw Lucas's comment on Wernology's latest video:
Like the Creeper has the choice.

The perception that he has a choice in just about anything is one of my favorite things about him. It'd be really interesting to watch if some 500lb broad show genuine interest in him. I honestly don't know how he'd react to that.

At 45 and having never held a job for any period of time, I can't imagine he's going to be able to earn enough to be the primary breadwinner and a Gen Z Bae is going to be struggling to get her feet underneath her in her career.

He's got a plan. You know that million dollars that King Roy saved up for retirement 20 years ago and definitely has not been living off of it? Bingo!

Though, in the off chance Lucas manages to outlive either of his parents, I can not fathom the mooing that'll go on when he finds out he's not a beneficiary on either of their life insurance policies or estates. It'd be apocalyptic since he's putting all his eggs in that basket. It's his final solution to the zoomer bae problem.

 

[mothman96]

That $100 he talks about (after all his bills are paid aka Mallon takes the rest of his SSI check) is his Personnal Needs Allowance. So the Creeper is using his PNA to buy the weed he said in a video he " shares" with others at the nursing home. In those videos after dark where he looks out of it, he likely has been smoking weed.

ETA:
Lucas deleted a video posted here by @HackerX but Wernology had already downloaded it.

Starting at 6:52

 

[HackerX]

More Werntent

Starts off asking where a hot Gen Z girlfriend is for Lucas, mooing about ol' Johnny Thundercock doing meth and Lucas's ass being clean. Then immediately pivots to "prove there's a God". His audio isn't synced to the video, which is kinda amazing because it's not like he edits his videos. How is that even possible?