Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

So does this mean the weekly crop of hacks reading the CWCki will come to an end?

Archival channels are probably safe.
So far there's been no reports of channels being struck among DSP or Wings detractors.
Dream Chaser may be spooked because she does make commentary over already existing footage that Lucas puts out, but she also has videos calling him out directly, which may be judged differently.

 

[Fatal Walter]

Youtube is just the greatest group of assholes to be working for. They actively encourage drama content for years and then suddenly decide anything you did back then now isn't okay. I don't expect to be affected by it but it's annoying. Youtube won't even get rid of Lucas' videos and they're borderline threatening sometimes so I have no idea why they'd get rid of videos about him.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Lucas shares a video about threatening suicide. He interprets people calling the cops on him as a sign that young women love him.

LUCAS—THEY CALL THE COPS ON YOU TO HAVE YOU COMMITTED.

Lucas proclaims in this video that if you don’t like that he has nothing to offer young women then you should “go be Amish”.... no one but him gets the connection there.

 

[Particle Bored]

The Floyd song though is about a man who tries to search for the secrets of the universe but ends up getting a mental illness after taking to much drugs. Lucas searches for the secret to teen pussy and does not use drugs to treat his mental illness. Kinda apt in a bizzaro world kinda way.

OT Floyd spergery: "Shine On You Crazy Diamond" is actually about Floyd founding member Syd Barrett, who was reluctantly ousted from the band after becoming too erratic and unreliable due to, yes, excessive psychedelics and potential mental illness.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Man, Lucas has that "rising hysterical laughter" down pat.

In between hiccups and belches, he overlaughs at his own "jokes".

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

In this video Lucas reveals that feminism has let women be open about their love for older men. This obviously doesn’t include Lucas and makes no fucking sense because 4 minutes later he says most women are ageists who won’t date older men. But whatever. He claims that feminism has helped women by letting them consider, “who will treat me better? A 20 year old or a 40 yr old”. That’s a terrifying insight into lucas’s view of feminism. Apparently feminism is about choosing what man will care for you and support you. Lucas can’t even fathom that feminism is about women not defining themselves as needing a man.

lucas also repeats his remark that women with boyfriends shouldn’t talk to him. How terrifying. I guarantee if he ever had a girlfriend he would forbid her from talking to other men. It’s pretty clear women are there for sex or nothing. He cannot fathom friendship with women because he is so ingrained in his misogyny

 

[laudanum]

In this video Lucas reveals that feminism has let women be open about their love for older men. This obviously doesn’t include Lucas and makes no fucking sense because 4 minutes later he says most women are ageists who won’t date older men. But whatever. He claims that feminism has helped women by letting them consider, “who will treat me better? A 20 year old or a 40 yr old”. That’s a terrifying insight into lucas’s view of feminism. Apparently feminism is about choosing what man will care for you and support you. Lucas can’t even fathom that feminism is about women not defining themselves as needing a man.

lucas also repeats his remark that women with boyfriends shouldn’t talk to him. How terrifying. I guarantee if he ever had a girlfriend he would forbid her from talking to other men. It’s pretty clear women are there for sex or nothing. He cannot fathom friendship with women because he is so ingrained in his misogyny

The colossal wanksock would probably have her looking down at the floor at all times, whilst wearing a medieval style chastity belt.

 

[Wernology]

The colossal wanksock would probably have her looking down at the floor at all times, whilst wearing a medieval style chastity belt.

Does that explain his unflattering, bizarre choice in camera angles over the past few years?

The only guesses I have there are:

A) Does not fathom how completely unflattering that 'put the phone on the floor, hit record, then stand over it' perspective is.

B) He thinks it makes him look dominant instead of ridiculous.

It's not as bad as the old ones where he used to stand back far enough and lean over like a poor version of Alex Jones for a shirtless full body unflattering angle but it's close.

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas is claiming all these 18-24 year old women are talking to him who have boyfriends. Who are these women? I don't think any of them are talking to him besides the ones fucking with him on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Definitely no one talks to him in person in Spokane.

 

[laudanum]

It's not as bad as the old ones where he used to stand back far enough and lean over like a poor version of Alex Jones for a shirtless full body unflattering angle but it's close.

I knew exactly which clip that was going to be before I opened it. He is topless sweaty Walmart Alex Jones.

 

[AbraCadaver]

The lack of Telo-talk coming from Wern is interesting. Could this be an actual change in his behavior caused by Dan's letter/Luke's Fetlife activities, or is his psyche merely on a temporary sojourn in another realm of madness?

I for one am excited to see the outcome.

While Lucas's mounting animosity towards Spokane has raised questions over him potentially moving, I think this to be unlikely given his lack of resources and his utter reliance on the system. He's a compulsive spender and likely hoarder (kept in check by house rules) so I don't think he'd part with the scores of unplayed board games that sit in his apartment in order to uproot.

That said, I wouldn't put it past him to take another hand out of mong-money to 'go back to college', only to pull a fast one on them by using his financial aid to fund a move elsewhere.

While undoubtedly stupid under conventional metrics, Lucas is an expert-level moocher and has a particularly devious mind. For what he lacks in genuine life experience, Lucas has spent his whole adult life playing the system to give himself a comfortable existence.

Ok so this is utter fantasy, but please fellow Kiwis, humor me for a moment while I indulge in these scenarios:

• "Lucas Werner - Homecoming" - Luke goes to live in Arizona with his folks. Cue a 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' meets 'The Osbournes' reality show that we gleefully witness in his Youtube videos.
• "An American Pedo in London" - Wern uses his embezzled academic aid to blindly relocate to another country. Probably one with either a strong welfare system or low age of consent.
• "The Wern - Apocalypse" - Our hero goes off the grid as he elopes with his board games to another USA city and inevitably goes back to square one. The half-decade cycle of homelessness, hospitalization, rehabilitation, festering and relapse will repeat itself, albeit in another location.

Where’s the option for him suck-starting a shotgun.

 

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas can pack a lot into a short recording. His delivery on this one interestd me

"The billionaires are the problem. You have more money than me. You also have a girl friend (long pause and facial expression suggests he's on the verge of a break through in self-awareness) You're also her age....I'm twice her age. Talk about bigotry (schizo ego restored, self-awareness averted)"

Talk About Bigotry 👎

#Agephobia #Classism #FeelTheBern2020 #Bigotry #AtheismRocks #ReligionSucks #Instagram #Patreon #Spokane #Washington #UnitedStates Instagram: @lucaswerner79 ...

youtu.be

 

[Particle Bored]

If you think Lucas is a creepy pedo (you are, Lucas), then you're just like people that were against interracial marriage in the 50s (we're not, Lucas).

"Get the cross off my lawn. Put away the kerosene."

Also, none of Lucas's videos have comments on them anymore, since he's blocked everyone with a YouTube account. (No biggie, Lucas, your Encyclopedia Dramatica page is still the third google result for your name)

You know who else is putting the "block" button to good use, Lucas? Every bar in the Pacific Northwest.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

"Pedophilia is a civil rights issue/pedosexuality is part of LGBTQ" is one of the biggest memes of the past year and as usual Lucas stumbles his fat ass into it without even recognising the optics. I don't think there's a cow so singularly unable to comprehend modern society, boomer isn't a strong enough term for how completely oblivious he is to how the current social climate/political sensitivity currently is. He may as well be speaking a different language, some type of obscure click-based one used by tribal farmers with only 1000 words.

 

[Wernology]

I knew exactly which clip that was going to be before I opened it. He is topless sweaty Walmart Alex Jones.

If you can't afford brand name Shirtless Rambling Crazy Guy, generic is fine.

 

[AbraCadaver]

"Pedophilia is a civil rights issue/pedosexuality is part of LGBTQ" is one of the biggest memes of the past year and as usual Lucas stumbles his fat ass into it without even recognising the optics. I don't think there's a cow so singularly unable to comprehend modern society, boomer isn't a strong enough term for how completely oblivious he is to how the current social climate/political sensitivity currently is. He may as well be speaking a different language, some type of obscure click-based one used by tribal farmers with only 1000 words.

People with only a thousand words still probably have a word for crazy.

Lucas is a reptile-brained regression in evolution. He only knows eat, mate, eat, mate, eat. Too bad he can only figure out how to accomplish one of those things.

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas blabbering on about how if you're a woman in Spokane between the ages of 18-24, you can date him and he will not only have his precious EBT card money, but he becomes a very wealthy man when he goes to school and collects more money from the government. You can even move into his flop house rent free! You just have to sleep in the same bed as him! Also, he will have enough money to treat you to 60 dollar steaks and sushi on the weekends sometimes! And if you also have an EBT card....High society!

What are the over/under that Lucas returns to school? Will they let him back there or will they take a note from the pubs, bars and taverns in Spokane and ban the Olympia Athesit? But he is worried about the girls not talking to him if he does return to school.

Only If You're Serious

#Agephobia #Classism #Spokane #Washington #UnitedStates #AgeGapLove #Bigotry #Instagram #Patreon Instagram: @lucaswerner79 Patreon: www.patreon.com/thewern

youtu.be

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

Just as he fails on the first point of intersectionality, so he does with communism. Lucas's dreams of making it big and becoming a fat cat (he'll be one of the good rich people! True fax!) are as simple an example of revisionism/reaction as you could find in Marxist theory

I'm not sure whether there's a single thing he talks about that he has beyond an 8 year-old's understanding of - maybe board games? Although he doesn't play them, so I doubt he knows the rules. He's expressing exclusively children's thoughts using a (somewhat) adult vocabulary, it's super curious.

 

[Particle Bored]

Posted without comment:

 

[laudanum]

Posted without comment:

Ten out of ten for stating the bleedin' obvious, Lucas.