Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Poop Shoot]

I think the best he can hope for are long term stay hotels, buuuut it's hard to find anything right now because of the Kung Flu.

You know, I thought homeless Lucas would be too boring and for the first couple of days it was, but oh man, I've really enjoyed his rapid decline. I didn't get involved in the thread until after he already had his fartbox, so homeless street ranting Lucas is a special treat for me.

 

[mothman96]

Still dangling $100 from the hook.

 

[WonderWino]

Still dangling $100 from the hook.

'I'm funny cause the potheads at the dispensary always laugh at me and its totally a legit laugh!' yeah cause potheads don't laugh at everything like tards when they're high constantly

'I don't deal in hope I only deal in evidence! Prove today is going to be better!' Whats hope going to do for me?!'

He is still smoking like a tard, and commenting how great washington is cause they sell it pre rolled

'No...don't trust me, I don't want you to trust me, thats gaslighting cause you have no evidence based on that cause you have never been on a date with me!'

Every time he mentions steamplant it keeps reminding me of freddys hideout in a nightmare on elm street

'Steamplant is a great restaurant, has great lighting so we can make out! I know you like guys with beards...but i'll shave if off if you don't'

Its just...you're fertile! When i'm around you you have more progesterone so it cranks up my testosterone so I feel better...but when you're around younger guys it cranks up their testosterone and makes them violent! (holy shit....and says the guy who has a big history of DV)

Claims hes friends with an 18 year old girl in georgia

Claims he is 'always trying to change the way I look' So....hobo chic is deliberate then? He doesn't even change his shirt for days at a time

Admits he 'usually just eats burritos' which means he is likely farting up a storm constantly

'Usually I just eat at home....or wherever i'm based' Nice catch there lucas

'I used to wear a baseball cap...but it wasn't a flatbill!'

'What i'm doing now is walking to take a shower' (sure you are)

'I don't mind being homeless cause i'm really not homeless or unhoused...i'm in a shelter right now and after the coronavirus thing dies down in a month or two i'll be in another shelter...and I don't like the paying the rent thing anyway and i'm lonely so its good being around people. i'm always isolated...this is something I can deal with and the food is decent...like last night we had this mashed potato, corn, shredded beef medley that was pretty good...I had a couple of those. We've had ribs...those were nice... so we're usually served by backyard bbq...so that might be good' (so here he admits he takes seconds at the homeless shelter....and doesn't like his tardbux goign to rent)

If you're mentioning stuff from my past on the date that makes me feel awkward...like maybe a temper tantrum I threw on a trip to montana, or how I crashed my bike in second grade and smashed my teeth...and you're going to make fun of me for that...' (interesting how he brought up the teeth stuff, and i'm totally sure its those things from your past people will bring up lucas. yeah, sure)

'Anything from the last 10 years that you bring up about me...I would probably not give you the $100. Your best option is to shut up, be affectionate, deal with it like a grownup and choose whether or not at the end of the date you want sex with me...its not a retainer for the $100' ('shut up and be affectionate woman!' says lucas the feminist male ally everybody)

'Basically shut up, be beautiful, say things that have nothing to do with me, say things that have more to do with you. We don't need to talk about me i'm known enough...even cops have called me a celebrity' ('Shut up, look hot and be affectionate woman!' twice in one video, says the uber feminist ally...and LOL at the cops calling him a celebrity, the fact he thinks thats something to bring up let alone brag about is pretty much proof he's an idiot who doesn't realize what hes really implying by that)

'I'll show you the $100 during the date'

'The rule is be or do something that will earn the $100'

For someone who doesn't care if there is sex involved he sure brings it up alot. He might as well have said 'shut the fuck up woman and suck my cock'

EDIT: new video dropped when I was writing that

'The $100 is really just to make you hornier...plus i'm going to feed you...odds are we probably will have sex but thats up to you....otherwise its prostitution and i'm not going to do that...i'm going to do this once a month...we're going to go on this date once a month to different restaurants...at least four times where i'm going to offer you $100 if I felt that the date went well...the fifth date...if there is a fifth date i'm not going to give you the $100....if we get that far we've already probably slept together at least once and we're probably in a relationship. The fifth date will happen once a month cause its my obligation as a boyfriend to take you out on one date a month'

So.... his obligation is to take her out to a shitty restaurant once a month, pay her like a whore for a month before that...but no mention of the obligation to, oh I don't know....have a place of his own and be able to provide for her even on a basic level. All he can think of is sex and nothing beyond that and this $100 and food is his scrambled brain telling him thats how he gets it without the slightest consideration of literally any other factor. Lizard brain is fucking right, and even that is an insult to lizards, they at least provide for their mates

and he keeps doing that thing with his mouth

 

[Free the Pedos]

My particular brand of autism is to look up Lucas' Biblical citations. For those interested, Titus 1:16 does not say "Christians are the worst people ever." It's Paul telling St. Titus how to deal with difficult people in Titus' church, including those who claim to be godly but aren't.

In one of his recent videos, Lucas quoted Titus 1:26, which doesn't exist. I think he meant 1:16.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

My favorite was the screaming video where he proclaimed MARK 6:24 to us evil GREED MONGERS that don't know the Bible, when he misremembered Matthew 6:24.

 

[Da Dude123]

I hope Lucas puts up some of his Gen X fliers around Spokane advertising his $100 proposal! He better get this cleared with his payee! I guess maybe he has enough saved in his account that the payee has disbursed to pay $100 to some Gen Z hottie. Lucas is offering to take a girl to dinner! Wow! No other guy would do that!

On another note, I am glad we archived the video where Lucas was screaming obscenities from the roof of a building cause he was upset about bigotry. He deleted that one, but luckily it is saved for all generations to review, which is important.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

and he keeps doing that thing with his mouth

He ends the ‘If we feel’ video doing it. I can’t unsee it now!

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

I hope Lucas puts up some of his Gen X fliers around Spokane advertising his $100 proposal! He better get this cleared with his payee! I guess maybe he has enough saved in his account that the payee has disbursed to pay $100 to some Gen Z hottie. Lucas is offering to take a girl to dinner! Wow! No other guy would do that!

On another note, I am glad we archived the video where Lucas was screaming obscenities from the roof of a building cause he was upset about bigotry. He deleted that one, but luckily it is saved for all generations to review, which is important.

Where is the link to the archive video? It's always funny hearing him screaming at his phone

 

[Quiet Dignity]

Still dangling $100 from the hook.

At 2:25 he gives his insta as lucaswer79. Daft bastard forgets to finish spelling his own name. Better step it up Lucas, you'll never gitta strait quaccina at this rate.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

'I don't deal in hope I only deal in evidence! Prove today is going to be better!' Whats hope going to do for me?!

Says the guy without any evidence of his age gap ideology, especially after being proven wrong by the people behind said research

He is still smoking like a tard, and commenting how great washington is cause they sell it pre rolled

He is a tard who can't legally handle his own money, I'm not surprised he loves buying pre made, he seems the type to buy nothing but pre made food. Well he is now that he's homeless, but before that lol

Every time he mentions steamplant it keeps reminding me of freddys hideout in a nightmare on elm street

'Steamplant is a great restaurant, has great lighting so we can make out! I know you like guys with beards...but i'll shave if off if you don't'

And yet more people would still rather fuck Freddy than Lucas. Neckbeards are not attractive Lucas, especially on 40 year old men who are homeless, simp.

Its just...you're fertile! When i'm around you you have more progesterone so it cranks up my testosterone so I feel better...but when you're around younger guys it cranks up their testosterone and makes them violent!

So how does he explain the domestic violence and no contact orders? Vey suspicious Lucas, very predator-like

Claims hes friends with an 18 year old girl in georgia

Thankfully she's a catfish, like all the women Lucas talks to online

Claims he is 'always trying to change the way I look' So....hobo chic is deliberate then? He doesn't even change his shirt for days at a time

I mean he's been pretty consistent with how he dresses like a obese middle aged predator, and the greasy mullet hasn't changed for a while either. I doubt he owns many shirts really, so those must be pretty stinky with how worn they are. Probably not a good idea to go on a date where they are close enough to smell he hasn't showered or changed his clothes for a while

Admits he 'usually just eats burritos' which means he is likely farting up a storm constantly

One false move on Lucas' part, and someone is throwing up next to him

'Usually I just eat at home....or wherever i'm based' Nice catch there lucas

Not anymore huh creeper. You mean before you get kicked from the current shelter, because we all know it'll happen eventually

'I used to wear a baseball cap...but it wasn't a flatbill!'

Would at least cover the bald spot Lucas, the mullet/ponytail does not

'What i'm doing now is walking to take a shower' (sure you are)

After screaming how he can't get a shower anymore?

'I don't mind being homeless cause i'm really not homeless or unhoused...i'm in a shelter right now and after the coronavirus thing dies down in a month or two i'll be in another shelter...and I don't like the paying the rent thing anyway and i'm lonely so its good being around people. i'm always isolated...this is something I can deal with and the food is decent...like last night we had this mashed potato, corn, shredded beef medley that was pretty good...I had a couple of those. We've had ribs...those were nice... so we're usually served by backyard bbq...so that might be good' (so here he admits he takes seconds at the homeless shelter....and doesn't like his tardbux goign to rent)

Talk about a coping mechanism. I doubt it'll be over in a month, and I kinda hope the lockdown stays at least since it means less people exposed to the creep. Nobody likes paying rent Lucas, and you're lonely because you're too toxic to have any irl friends long term. The fact the only way you can get any social interaction is at shelters where people are forced to stay unless they want to be on the streets is a red flag of how awful you are to people that nobody wants to be around you otherwise. Given how obese Lucas is, I'm sure he has thirds at least. Hell, he already admitted he went to the shelters for free food even when he had an apartment and his own food to eat.

If you're mentioning stuff from my past on the date that makes me feel awkward...like maybe a temper tantrum I threw on a trip to montana, or how I crashed my bike in second grade and smashed my teeth...and you're going to make fun of me for that...' (interesting how he brought up the teeth stuff, and i'm totally sure its those things from your past people will bring up lucas. yeah, sure)

I mean Lucas gives people plenty to make fun of on a daily basis, and yes I imagine mentioning how he tried to groom minors into having sex with him would be an awkward thing to bring up on his date, or why there's a video of Chris Hansen calling him a predator, I know I wouldn't want to have to explain that one on any date I went on. Probably because of how fake his teeth look now, given how badly he takes care of his body I seriously doubt they're not fake, I just don't see his mouth being the one thing he looks after.

'Anything from the last 10 years that you bring up about me...I would probably not give you the $100. Your best option is to shut up, be affectionate, deal with it like a grownup and choose whether or not at the end of the date you want sex with me...its not a retainer for the $100' ('shut up and be affectionate woman!' says lucas the feminist male ally everybody)

"Don't bring up that I'm a creeper who tried to groom a 16 year old at her workplace, or that I got banned from the bars and clubs for videoing women without their consent to jerk off to". I mean he sounds exactly like how male feminists are really like

'Basically shut up, be beautiful, say things that have nothing to do with me, say things that have more to do with you. We don't need to talk about me i'm known enough...even cops have called me a celebrity' ('Shut up, look hot and be affectionate woman!' twice in one video, says the uber feminist ally...and LOL at the cops calling him a celebrity, the fact he thinks thats something to bring up let alone brag about is pretty much proof he's an idiot who doesn't realize what hes really implying by that)

Man, if you're considered a celebrity by the police, and admit you regularly get told to leave places, that's a serious red flag that even teen girls are gonna know to stay away from. He doesn't need to worry about the women bring up anything, he announces all of this shit himself. Lucas, these are real women, not porn actresses, they're not going to let you treat them like shit when you're homeless, fat, and ugly. Maybe take a break from the teen porn before you get the wrong idea of how a date with a woman is going to go

'I'll show you the $100 during the date'

And they can show you the video of Chris Hansen during the date as your face goes red and you start sweating and looking back and forth

'The rule is be or do something that will earn the $100'

The rule is to not admit to trying to pay for sex on social media, especially after the $1000 date offer

For someone who doesn't care if there is sex involved he sure brings it up alot. He might as well have said 'shut the fuck up woman and suck my cock'

He pretty much implied he's expecting at least a blowjob for the dinner and money

'The $100 is really just to make you hornier...plus i'm going to feed you...odds are we probably will have sex but thats up to you....otherwise its prostitution and i'm not going to do that...i'm going to do this once a month...we're going to go on this date once a month to different restaurants...at least four times where i'm going to offer you $100 if I felt that the date went well...the fifth date...if there is a fifth date i'm not going to give you the $100....if we get that far we've already probably slept together at least once and we're probably in a relationship. The fifth date will happen once a month cause its my obligation as a boyfriend to take you out on one date a month'

I wish I knew women who were satisfied with only seeing their boyfriend once a month when they live in the same city. $100 and overpriced hipster junk food isn't going to impress anyone Lucas, especially long term if that's all you've got to offer in a relationship.

So.... his obligation is to take her out to a shitty restaurant once a month, pay her like a whore for a month before that...but no mention of the obligation to, oh I don't know....have a place of his own and be able to provide for her even on a basic level. All he can think of is sex and nothing beyond that and this $100 and food is his scrambled brain telling him thats how he gets it without the slightest consideration of literally any other factor. Lizard brain is fucking right, and even that is an insult to lizards, they at least provide for their mates

Lucas is the penultimate incel. I didn't think it was even possible to reach 40 and still have this mentality of sex is all that matters, even to the point of being homeless and screaming at your phone. It's going to be a very sad day for the Werner family when they have to read the news about the finale of Lucas' 8+ year journey to get barely legal poonaner.

and he keeps doing that thing with his mouth

Probably just a symptom of one of his many mental disabilities/illnesses

 

[Am_Shaegar]

At 2:25 he gives his insta as lucaswer79. Daft bastard forgets to finish spelling his own name. Better step it up Lucas, you'll never gitta strait quaccina at this rate.

Just search @lucaswerner79 on instagram. It's not available.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

At 2:25 he gives his insta as lucaswer79. Daft bastard forgets to finish spelling his own name. Better step it up Lucas, you'll never gitta strait quaccina at this rate.

Thought I heard it wrong at first, he's repeated it enough that I figured he wouldn't be stupid enough to be able to forget the spelling. Though that's the least of the creeper's problems

Just search @lucaswerner79 on instagram. It's not available.

Must have him blocked, I can still see his account. Still as horrifying video thumbnails in his feed as ever

Imagine thinking this impresses anyone, especially when you're sat on the floor eating this

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Imagine thinking this impresses anyone, especially when you're sat on the floor eating this

Where's the cheese? Is that caramel-looking mess the rind? That is the darkest gouda rind I have ever seen.

Also: what is that with the cauliflower label? Cauliflower what?

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

Also: what is that with the cauliflower label? Cauliflower what?

From the brief second I could get a clear view it appeared to say hummus

 

[WonderWino]

Imagine thinking this impresses anyone, especially when you're sat on the floor eating this

Is that...mashed cauliflower? Who the fuck gets it mashed like that? and mixing it with cheese, chips, pepperoni and candy. No fucking wonder hes as fat as a house, diabetic and farting up a storm. The other hobos are lucky theres a virus going around that keeps his bed 6 feet away at night

and of course he specifically makes a point of doing an up close pic of the '5 year old aged gouda' innuendo absolutely intended and he thinks hes being clever about it. All it does is make him into an even creepier guy that has a weird aged food-sex fetish

Just when you think he can't be any more revolting he manages to drop the bar and slither another inch closer to the ground

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Not a new video, but I thought I'd re share it anyway, because out of all of his stuff it's the one that makes me retch while laughing which is a weird experience, although not entirely strange for Lucas.

Bonus points for being unable to lip synch the simple lyrics of Goth Daddy 2 Buff's 'Piggy'.

Is that...mashed cauliflower? Who the fuck gets it mashed like that? and mixing it with cheese, chips, pepperoni and candy. No fucking wonder hes as fat as a house, diabetic and farting up a storm. The other hobos are lucky theres a virus going around that keeps his bed 6 feet away at night

and of course he specifically makes a point of doing an up close pic of the '5 year old aged gouda' innuendo absolutely intended and he thinks hes being clever about it. All it does is make him into an even creepier guy that has a weird aged food-sex fetish

Just when you think he can't be any more revolting he manages to drop the bar and slither another inch closer to the ground

okay I think I figured it out.

In the other food picture, the one with the chips and the Taffy, you can see the fully wrapped Gouda. It's still extremely dark, but at least it's recognizable as a wedge of cheese. The other picture is what's left of it after he's eaten it. He ate almost an entire pound of gouda in one sitting. Think about that.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

Not a new video, but I thought I'd re share it anyway, because out of all of his stuff it's the one that makes me retch while laughing which is a weird experience, although not entirely strange for Lucas.

Bonus points for being unable to lip synch the simple lyrics of Goth Daddy 2 Buff's 'Piggy'.

I almost miss when he called himself Cute Older Daddy, still glad the site is down though

okay I think I figured it out.

In the other food picture, the one with the chips and the Taffy, you can see the fully wrapped Gouda. It's still extremely dark, but at least it's recognizable as a wedge of cheese. The other picture is what's left of it after he's eaten it. He ate almost an entire pound of gouda in one sitting. Think about that.

The photos are of his video of him showing off his hobo food, and then posting a close up making a dumb innuendo about an aged product. He'll eat the whole pound after posting the photo/video though, and yes, it's why he's managed to remain such a lard ass despite being homeless

 

[Da Dude123]

Here is the video of Lucas screaming at his phone. It looks like he was on the top floor of a parking garage. He later deleted it from his YouTube page. Thankfully, @klickitat has been kind enough to archive it.

You prove there is no God

Screaming incel warning. Be sure to turn your headphones down!

youtu.be

Where is the link to the archive video? It's always funny hearing him screaming at his phone

 

[WonderWino]

Yup, I fucking called it

Aged Gouda For The Generation Z Phobes

and he used a pair of scissors to cut up the cheese, which by the way looks like utter shit quality gouda

That sound he makes after he says 'five year old gouda' fucking hell

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

He regular eats on the floor and with very dirty dishes. Why?