- Joined
- Apr 15, 2019
Even if he goes 6 months without a phone, no doubt he'll pick up right where he left off as if no time has passed
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
It doesn't have a sim card and the battery has about 10 minutes of battery life, not to mention its weird proprietary connector; it'd almost be worth the postage to know he'd probably rage smash it. For those curious it's a Sony Ericsson Walkman W300i.
Edit: It's almost hilariously tempting to send him a $20 tracphone with a prepaid card that allows for 1GB of data just for the same reasons.
I'm sure he'll figure out how to get a new phone with his SSDI soon enough though.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2016
i had a W600i back in the day. i mean, i guess it's not worth the money to get a replacement battery and chargers for it are super cheap on ebay. fun fact: these old phones, as long as they can connect to the mobile network, can be used as a "car emergency phone" to dial 911. handy for that purpose. your local police department or department of health and human services usually accepts these to refurbish and hand out to people in need like DV victims and stuff if you want to give it to someone more valuable than Lucas.
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2019
He needs a phone to broadcast his mating call.
He’ll get one as soon as he gets his allowance.
He’ll get one as soon as he gets his allowance.
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2018
Honestly he’s probably raging at not being able to check this thread, which is kind of a funny thought.
Trainwreck
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2017
If I recall, he said in one of his videos he was getting 2k in August. I wonder if he is even self aware to realize he spent $1200 on a shitty motel room, eating out and weed, when he should have at least saved half of it. Cash even so it wouldn't stay in the account his payee has to dole out to him and wouldn't count against him.
Whatever. No worries. He's going to be a millionaire in 30 years.
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2019
I feel like theres no doubt anymore that Lucas broke his phone in a bout of Tard Rage.
But I hope he uses his tugboat to buy a new phone, that way the farms can drop its Lucas amber alert.
But I hope he uses his tugboat to buy a new phone, that way the farms can drop its Lucas amber alert.
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2019
The question I‘d like to know is does he still rage about agephobes and gen z chicks while roaming the streets of Spokane even though he doesn’t have the phone to record his antics like a real crazy homeless person? It would give a bit of insight into how ”crazy” vs self aware he really is.
Pump Meat
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2020
I'd bet money on it, it is a nearly all-consuming obsession that colors everything. Not to long ago Lucas reported that while staying at the HOC shelter during the day he could hear automobile traffic outside and that got him thinking about how many hot college chicks drive by this shelter and never think about stopping in. Even urban background noise that nobody else would pay attention to can trigger him.
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2019
My dumb ass found out how cheap facebook ads were when targeted at a small demographic so I dropped $10 ($2/day budget for 10 days) to run an ad on FB and IG about him that pointed to https://virtualwern.com/
One day in and so far it's the funniest $2 I've spent.
Demographic targeted: Women and men in Spokane, WA between 16-26 years old interested in dating and internet safety.
Pretty good click through rate too, there are two ads (both the same, one just runs on mobile and the other on desktop) that have been seen by over 600 people each and have had 235 clicks (desktop) and 367 clicks (mobile) in just one day.
Haven't checked the IG stats yet but maybe Facebook combines the two. I made both business accounts initially just so I could link them.
If you're curious, this is what the ad looks like, and a couple of comments I got on one of them. Both ads have the same pic of him, looking all gentlemanly.
One day in and so far it's the funniest $2 I've spent.
Demographic targeted: Women and men in Spokane, WA between 16-26 years old interested in dating and internet safety.
Pretty good click through rate too, there are two ads (both the same, one just runs on mobile and the other on desktop) that have been seen by over 600 people each and have had 235 clicks (desktop) and 367 clicks (mobile) in just one day.
Haven't checked the IG stats yet but maybe Facebook combines the two. I made both business accounts initially just so I could link them.
If you're curious, this is what the ad looks like, and a couple of comments I got on one of them. Both ads have the same pic of him, looking all gentlemanly.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
This is a poignant detail.
One of my favorite things about Lucas is how different a world he sees. Hei incorporates all stimulus in to his narrative of unfair sexual exclusion. It all relates back to his tiny penis that people ought to touch, and don't, because of evil capitalism.
When the sun shines on him, he must think "Damn, this sun is also shining on fertile zoomer baes with juicy poonaners who won't let impregnate them and mother me because of bigotry." And then he tears up.
I sometimes wonder what it must be like to be so consumed by a personal narrative, so disconnected from others. There must be some comfort in it. It's simple. The world must make sense if you are blameless and everything is a conspiracy to exclude you from poonaner.
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2019
That's all well and good, but where the women at? Where the party at?
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2013
I feel like a good way to pass this slow period would be to throw up a bunch of "what ifs", like in CWC's thread.
So, what if Lucas was female?
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Well the general idea that leftists are for helping the societally disadvantaged in some way, at least in word if not in deed, might have something to do with Lucas's delusions. But I seriously doubt that being a fat stinky autist who thirsts for teen pussy "counts" as being "societally disadvantaged," at least in the manner in which we think of it.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
I wrote a 10,000 word think piece on this subject, titled Lucas Werner is a Lonely Fat Faggot. Available upon request, with the companion piece Lucas Werner is Afraid You Think He's a Faggot.
My thesis is that Lucas believes the left opposes social exclusion, and that his inability to smash some juicy teen poonaner is due to social exclusion comparable to racism and bigotry. Therefore, true leftists want Lucas to smash. See, it's not nice to exclude people from things they want to do, just because of the circumstances of their birth.
So you're right, I'd say; Lucas sees his status as a shot out, old hobo in 2020 to be comparable to being a faggot nigger in 1950 Mississippi.
Lucas wouldn't be Lucas id he were female. Everything about him is so intensely failed peripheral male. There may be fucked up women, but there is no female equivalent to Lucas Werner.
So what you're speculating about is imo what if Lucas were a troon?
He'd fit in, only talk about wanting to be a mother because of his superior telomeres.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Honestly I'm still kind of a noob when it comes to the Werniverse, but it seems that obsessively thirsting for sexual gratification with persons far out of your league or age range is a common feature of lolcows. So is claiming to be against racism and stuff when you subscribe to some pretty horrendous stereotyping.
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2020
Probably just makes weird movements and looks miserable by himself, like members have said when they have seen him at places like the bus stop in the past and that BLM video that got posted. I also suspect he cries himself to sleep without any way to vent his incel rage on the internet, or for any audience irl. Probably doesn't help he's unmedicated, and without any music to use his earphones to attempt to drown out the schizo voices, he's probably even more miserable
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Ironically it's probably the most normal thing he's talked about in a while. I'd honestly be surprised if he hasn't actually started to do this with how insane he's gotten lately.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Lucas's toilet habits are pretty well documented. He has historically struggled with his shit.
In an infamous passage taken from Lucas's 2010 Personal Reflection, describing a long period of his 20s, Lucas wrote:
Shitting on the floor represents an improvement for Lucas. That's how low his bar is set.
Welcome to Wernology. Many mirthless laughs to you.
Lucas is my favorite cow, peerless, but as you note, far from unique. In many respects he's just another frustrated sped raging because he doesn't get to fuck the girls he wants to. One more loser on a quixotic lovequest, broadcasting his doomed mating call on the internet.
But he's nonetheless extraordinary. Lucas has accidentally given us an amazing look at the origins, and workings, of his lovequest.
It's not just about sex: Lucas equates sex with status and success more than most. His libido is deeply connected to his failures in life, his small, dry dick a reminder that he's never done anything praiseworthy. He's a worthless shit.
Once we accept that he's trying to fix his entire ruined life with teen poonaner, and sees nothing weird about it, we can appreciate what makes him special. Imagine a party that nobody is very excited about but Lucas, who is not invited. The party means everything to Lucas, and he's the only person who isn't welcome. Its all he can think about, and he knows that if he got into the party his life will improve. He'll be the kind of guy that gets invited to parties. This must be the Lucas experience: exclusion, envy unburdened by self awareness.
Lucas come from what strikes me as a pretty amusing and familiar place: he's an edgy, spoiled, insecure kid from 1997. He's never been cool but will never stop posturing. Bottom of the pecking order, and desperate to prove himself. Sex keeps the score. Just strikingly desperate, status obsessed, and operating at the level of a chimp.
Once we accept that he's trying to fix his entire ruined life with teen poonaner, and sees nothing weird about it, we can appreciate what makes him special. Imagine a party that nobody is very excited about but Lucas, who is not invited. The party means everything to Lucas, and he's the only person who isn't welcome. Its all he can think about, and he knows that if he got into the party his life will improve. He'll be the kind of guy that gets invited to parties. This must be the Lucas experience: exclusion, envy unburdened by self awareness.
Lucas come from what strikes me as a pretty amusing and familiar place: he's an edgy, spoiled, insecure kid from 1997. He's never been cool but will never stop posturing. Bottom of the pecking order, and desperate to prove himself. Sex keeps the score. Just strikingly desperate, status obsessed, and operating at the level of a chimp.
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2019
I have to give it to you @wenttobermuda . For someone on the outside who hasn’t observed the Wern in all his complexities your eloquent expositions on him seem almost unbelievable or off base, but indeed you have distilled down the Werns psychology and motivations better than any trained psychologist could. Even I, at first, didn’t believe such base explanations, seeking in vain to find some more complex psychological motivations for Werns behavior but after observing him now for almost two years, your description, in its simplicity, is by far the most meaningful one. I made the mistake early on of looking for nuance where there was none. Lucas works on the level of a base animal. With Lucas 1 + 1 always = 2. Theres no more intricate thread to his psychology to uncover. Once you start seeing him as the total embodiment of the ID with an ego just developed enough to reinforce that ID you begin to best understand Lucas Werner. You have to observe him more like an anthropologist than a psychologist.