Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Fatal Walter said:
Yes, because Chris Hansen has time to pay attention to Lucas right now as the commentary community on youtube is tearing him a new one. Not that they shouldn't be. That guy has gone off the deep end. I saw someone on youtube point out that Lucas is wearing his shirt inside out so perhaps it's been quite a bit longer than two days. It's more likely than him just not noticing but it is Lucas we're talking about.

Also, yeah, this violation mostly reminds me of him trying to get nudes out of that 16 year old (no idea if she was 16, he's usually getting catfished, but it's still illegal to ask) and only stopping after she had to tell him it wasn't legal because of the age of consent. He did stop after that, to his credit. Not worth a whole lot of credit, though. He just doesn't want to get in trouble.
Click to expand...

She wasn't a catfish. She flat out told him she was 16. He didn't stop at that point, he kept pushing for nudes even while she was explaining to him that it was illegal. He kept saying that it was legal in WA to get involved with 16 year olds. It isn't at his age but thats irrelevant because she was in VA where it is flat out illegal to do so or attempt to do so. Not only that, even if it had been legal to be involved with said 16 year olds, he was asking for nude pics, knowing full well she was 16, which isn't just illegal its flat out felony solicitation of child pornography, which carries major mandatory prison time. The only reason lucas was't arrested, extradited and isn't sitting in a VA prison cell right now is because she didn't report him for it
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Krathnami, A whole lotta nope and 5 others
Without too much powerleveling I used to work in the system in another state and for the most part you can violate your probation multiple times for something like a dirty piss test for weed before the courts or the PO does anything too drastic.

Lucas is in some deferred sentencing program and he has been only busted for minor things like peace disturbance and trespassing. So, he has some leaway to screw up for a while. Also, weed stays in your system for a long time. For people like Lucas who use often it can show up for up to a month after you stop using. Heavier drugs like opiates and cocaine leave your system usually within 48 hours.

Basically, this program he is in is going to try to some extent to get him some help with being homeless and mentally ill and possibly some substance abuse treatment. The fact that weed is legal does not mean he can use it while on papers. It will all be in vain, of course. But it is funny that Lucas has to do this and is banned from a park.

But despite all this he still thinks that he is plenty good and would be an excellent husband and father. Not too mention the vast amount of wealth he will inherit!
 
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Krathnami, A whole lotta nope and 8 others
People always put on kiddy gloves when dealing with Lucas. That's why he got to try to extort sex from all his neighbors without getting in trouble. That should get him in big trouble. I guess people are bound to get fed up with him at some point, though.

Edit: Holy shit, though. Imagine being a cop in another state looking into this and googling Lucas' name.

Another edit: This is interesting. Posted to the Chris Hansen video. Is Lucas back on youtube? It's the other channel from the last one he was using but it is his.
lucas109.png

Wait, it got worse. The link at the end is to the last episode of the Golden USB Show. Which he must think is going to impress Chris fucking Hansen.
lucas113.png He left a ton of comments on that video but all the rest seem to be from 5 months ago or more.
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
  • Lunacy
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Krathnami, Patchwork Ragdoll and 6 others
Fatal Walter said:
People always put on kiddy gloves when dealing with Lucas. That's why he got to try to extort sex from all his neighbors without getting in trouble. That should get him in big trouble. I guess people are bound to get fed up with him at some point, though.

Edit: Holy shit, though. Imagine being a cop in another state looking into this and googling Lucas' name.

Another edit: This is interesting. Posted to the Chris Hansen video. Is Lucas back on youtube? It's the other channel from the last one he was using but it is his.
View attachment 1510832
Wait, it got worse. The link at the end is to the last episode of the Golden USB Show. Which he must think is going to impress Chris fucking Hansen.
View attachment 1510847 He left a ton of comments on that video but all the rest seem to be from 5 months ago or more.
Click to expand...
Why does he think he's "the most famous person in Spokane" for getting beat up. And the podcasts have really bloated his head.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Krathnami, A whole lotta nope and 4 others
klickitat said:

Today's broken recordness nonsense including cognitive dissonance like he's not one of those lazy ass people who needs to get a job.
Click to expand...

So now he wants to be a budtender instead

That usually requires having no criminal record, let alone a violent criminal record. and even if he somehow managed to land such a job (which isn't what he thinks it is, theres a shit ton of knowledge that goes into growing that stuff properly, but lucas is too stupid to know that) its inevitable that lucas would think he could get away with stealing some of it, likely to impress some imaginary zoomer. At which point he would get caught, fired and more than likely end up doing jail time for it
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Krathnami, Club Sandwich and 8 others
WonderWino said:
So now he wants to be a budtender instead

That usually requires having no criminal record, let alone a violent criminal record. and even if he somehow managed to land such a job (which isn't what he thinks it is, theres a shit ton of knowledge that goes into growing that stuff properly, but lucas is too stupid to know that) its inevitable that lucas would think he could get away with stealing some of it, likely to impress some imaginary zoomer. At which point he would get caught, fired and more than likely end up doing jail time for it
Click to expand...
All the disensary owner/manager has to do is google his name and it'll be hell no. Lucas is a liability/a documented psycho. No one wants to put their business in jeopardy.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Telomerase1979, A whole lotta nope and 8 others
I like the video where Lucas is so cocky about how to make a resume and how he could do it no problem. Making an effective resume does take some effort. And what the hell would Lucas put on a resume? Fucker hasn't worked in 20 years. The only thing he can really put on one is his brief stint as a college student.

Comedian 2010-Current

Screaming on YouTube and Instagram about Greed and Bigotry. Going ree and wondering where the women and parties are.

Hobo April 2020-Current

Waundering the streets of Spokane, getting banned from bars, libraries, public parks, etc. Screaming and disturbing the citizens of Spokane.

Patreon December 2019-Present

Begging people for money and putting rambling writings and videos behind a paywall.
 
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Quiet Dignity, Stilgar of Troon and 7 others
mothman96 said:
He's blaming KF and SOFALAW for the "beating" he got. Gonna call crime stoppers, the SPD, the FBI on us. It's a hate crime of agephobia. He's also going to sue Chris Hansen, KF and SOFALAW.
Click to expand...

He's going to bring his parents' wealth to bear to launch a lawsuit against SOFALAW and KF. His dad has 10 cows on 12 acres, which take a minimum of $1.5 million to raise, probably more if you sell them. This ignores the fact he does not ask his parents for money, and the land was valued at 250k including the house (no mention of cows). Maybe he can hit up that same lawyer that was gonna help him sue Starbucks and get rich right before he went homeless.

Never mind all that, it's Tuesday morning which means Lucas has 3 hours and 20 mins to write some insanity over random pics of girls before he has to go report to community court at city hall. Hope he doesn't get worked up and choke on his Werner brand sausage (no affiliation) along the way.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Quiet Dignity, Picklechu and 12 others
ThomasAudley said:
He's going to bring his parents' wealth to bear to launch a lawsuit against SOFALAW and KF. His dad has 10 cows on 12 acres, which take a minimum of $1.5 million to raise, probably more if you sell them. This ignores the fact he does not ask his parents for money, and the land was valued at 250k including the house (no mention of cows). Maybe he can hit up that same lawyer that was gonna help him sue Starbucks and get rich right before he went homeless.

Never mind all that, it's Tuesday morning which means Lucas has 3 hours and 20 mins to write some insanity over random pics of girls before he has to go report to community court at city hall. Hope he doesn't get worked up and choke on his Werner brand sausage (no affiliation) along the way.
Click to expand...

Oh you mean in this video where he said some lawyer contacted him about the Starbucks thing and he was "probably going to be a millionaire soon"?

It's part of the world's saddest apartment tour.

 
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Picklechu, Patchwork Ragdoll and 7 others
ThomasAudley said:
He's going to bring his parents' wealth to bear to launch a lawsuit against SOFALAW and KF. His dad has 10 cows on 12 acres, which take a minimum of $1.5 million to raise, probably more if you sell them. This ignores the fact he does not ask his parents for money, and the land was valued at 250k including the house (no mention of cows). Maybe he can hit up that same lawyer that was gonna help him sue Starbucks and get rich right before he went homeless.

Never mind all that, it's Tuesday morning which means Lucas has 3 hours and 20 mins to write some insanity over random pics of girls before he has to go report to community court at city hall. Hope he doesn't get worked up and choke on his Werner brand sausage (no affiliation) along the way.
Click to expand...
Could you please check to see of the citation he got for being at Riverfront Park last Friday is showing up on his court records.
 
mothman96 said:
Could you please check to see of the citation he got for being at Riverfront Park last Friday is showing up on his court records.
Click to expand...

I've been checking it daily and it does not appear yet.

There is a good primer for checking Spokane court records here: https://www.spokanecounty.org/2718/Search-Spokane-Local-Courts

For Municipal Court you have to use Internet Explorer and then after you click JusticeWeb you type in Werner, hit tab, type in his bday of 11/27/1979, then from the dropdown select Lucas Colby Werner and it will show all his data. It's really not intuitive, and the district and superior courts are much easier to search, but the latest record over on those is his DV escapade from 2017.

He was cited last week, I'm not really sure why it doesn't show up unless the cop is lazy, didn't enter it properly, or the court is holding it for some reason or another (if they even have the authority to do that).


klickitat said:
Oh you mean in this video where he said some lawyer contacted him about the Starbucks thing and he was "probably going to be a millionaire soon"?

It's part of the world's saddest apartment tour.
Click to expand...

Yep that's the one - one of my fav vids. I particularly loathe the part where he lifts up his shirt.
 
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Informative
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Picklechu, Krathnami and 4 others
Fapcop said:
Wait, how TF can a homeless person be obese?!

If they’re alcoholic I could see it, but Vern here is hardly the type.
Click to expand...

He gets free meals from the homeless shelter. He mentioned before they are things like sandwiches, so the nutritional value of a shelter meal is probably already dubious at best. But then he supplements this with constant junk food that he is want to eat off the sidewalk or park bench that he's on. In between that he does this IMPRESSIVE thing, funds permitting, when he just absolutely gorges on two back to back full on meals, such as an entire pizza with a Long Island iced tea followed by the second most expensive steak at the Clinkerdagger with a pint of beer. And this is when he's not crushing Budweiser in the parking lot.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Picklechu, Sevan Vosgi and 8 others
Fapcop said:
Wait, how TF can a homeless person be obese?!

If they’re alcoholic I could see it, but Vern here is hardly the type.
Click to expand...
Lucas eats whatever he can from these homeless shelters, gets ~$150/month in SNAP that he's proven he burns on junk food, and begs some people to donate garbage fast food to him.

He really shouldn't be allowed to mooch off these shelters like he does, but the system sucks.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, Picklechu, Sevan Vosgi and 4 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back