Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

So much for not being as autistic lolcow as Christine Chandler.

 

[LeeLoo]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

Oh Lord!! You should print out the news stories about the Starbucks incident and post them all over that shit. Along with print outs of his most fucked up FB posts.

 

[Chelsea Girl]

Oh Lord!! You should print out the news stories about the Starbucks incident and post them all over that shit. Along with print outs of his most fucked up FB posts.

Yes! And include printouts of KF debunking what’s written on these, like the lie about the weight loss taken from his “police report”.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

We’re moving into John Bulla territory now. Yikes.

 

[Grease trap]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

Fucking lmao. Wonder who gave him the box of crayons. I like how each individual thought is sectioned off and colored differently. A true map of the madman's mind.

 

[WonderWino]

We’re moving into John Bulla territory now. Yikes.

'I need a zoomer bae to fuck and breed! (sexually)'

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

I like how he repeatedly uses the word 'fecund' all over that, and the weird jumble of different statements just thrown around anywhere on the sign

You really have to wonder what people think if they happen to stop and read that when they walk by, especially if they're women. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out he has a bunch of those scattered around and spends his days walking between them and trying to hide just out of sight in a place he can watch those signs to see if anybody is stopping to read them. Someone should print out some info about the starbucks incident and tape it on top, just to drive lucas insane with rage when he sees it.....or a picture of a poker hand with an x through it with 'its not in the cards, love kiwifarms' written underneath. the idea that kfers were fucking with his signs and were so close by would make him paranoid as fuck, it would also be doing a public service in case any woman out there is stupid enough to give him a chance

Also 'consider the xoomer zygote' should be a random.txt entry

 

[Garfieldchu]

It looks like this isn't a copy and that this is the original copy he scrobbled himself. Which must have taken forever and gotta love the crayons. Are there more? I feel like Lucas is stupid to enough to either write one attraction sign and call it a day or make a new one for each pole, rather than photocopy it and plaster it all over town.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Here are my favorite parts.

Fecund rage indeed.

Ok... no shock he can’t do physical labor. He almost died picking up litter. But what does it matter that he’s open-minded? Is that something needed to be a janitor? Cashier? Do you think he’s trying to get sex work? I’m mostly kidding but I love that he thinks people choose to hire people based on being politically liberal. This is his lack of ability to see from perspectives outside his own. He doesn’t get that most people don’t have ruminant cardinal traits.

and most exciting—2 gen x guys? Who is the potential roomie?!

 

[WonderWino]

Here are my favorite parts.

View attachment 1598481
Fecund rage indeed.

View attachment 1598483
Ok... no shock he can’t do physical labor. He almost died picking up litter. But what does it matter that he’s open-minded? Is that something needed to be a janitor? Cashier? Do you think he’s trying to get sex work? I’m mostly kidding but I love that he thinks people choose to hire people based on being politically liberal. This is his lack of ability to see from perspectives outside his own. He doesn’t get that most people don’t have ruminant cardinal traits.

and most exciting—2 gen x guys? Who is the potential roomie?!

.....somehow I suspect the 'fecund rage' was some kind of amusing freudian slip and he meant range. but fecund rage definitely sounds like it describes what was going on in his head when coming up with all that craziness and is much more appropriate

and anybody insane enough to contact him for a roommate situation is stupid enough to deserve what they get. I hope someone does, it would lead to some very, very interesting content. I can't imagine having to put up with him as a roommate, I wouldn't last a week before I beat the shit out of him for the inevitable insane behavior and late night ranting

 

[Sm0kINHaZefEEliNBlaZEd]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

The craziest thing about this is that it's the most effort Lucas has put into anything for a while.

 

[LeeLoo]

Here are my favorite parts.

View attachment 1598481
Fecund rage indeed.

View attachment 1598483
Ok... no shock he can’t do physical labor. He almost died picking up litter. But what does it matter that he’s open-minded? Is that something needed to be a janitor? Cashier? Do you think he’s trying to get sex work? I’m mostly kidding but I love that he thinks people choose to hire people based on being politically liberal. This is his lack of ability to see from perspectives outside his own. He doesn’t get that most people don’t have ruminant cardinal traits.

and most exciting—2 gen x guys? Who is the potential roomie?!

The fact the fat fuck thinks he can anything worthy of $1,000 a month is mind boggling.
Please please please to anyone in the Spokane area....have a “it’s not in the cards” field day with that sign!!!

 

[NattyDaddy]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

Please tell me you swooped that for yourself, if that shits an original you could come up big after he finally chimps out and kills some poor xoomer zygote.

 

[mothman96]

Oh Lord!! You should print out the news stories about the Starbucks incident and post them all over that shit. Along with print outs of his most fucked up FB posts.

I'd add -- unmedicated schizo with a history of domestic violence and restraining orders.

 

[Amewsed]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

If it weren't so hilariously sad, it'd be sadly hilarious.

He's the definition of pathetic.

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.

Oof the schizophrenia really shines through in this one. The boxes are as segmented as his thoughts.

 

[TurdFondler]

Our telomere daddy is going to lose it when he finds out a fecund zoomer bae yeeted herself into his DMs after following the insta link, but he didn't have a phone.

 

[Rescuetoast]

Those are definitely cheap ass restaurant crayons from the kid’s coloring menu lmao

 

[ThomasAudley]

This is one of my favorite developments yet! it really takes his insanity to a new level, to post crazy shit up on a pole.

It reminds me of this homeless mentally ill guy in Thailand who is more wholesome and successful Lucas. The Thai guy had a wife and kid and an education and about 150 fewer pounds, and now he draws weird shit no one knows the meaning of. But both are diagramming out their crazy schizo thoughts in ways that only make sense to them. I'm also further reminded of this King of the Hill episode where that art promoter mocks Peggy and that other crazy guy. I'm really excited about a potential upcoming Lucas schizo art saga next!!

 

[Amewsed]

This is one of my favorite developments yet! it really takes his insanity to a new level, to post crazy shit up on a pole.

It reminds me of this homeless mentally ill guy in Thailand who is more wholesome and successful Lucas. The Thai guy had a wife and kid and an education and about 150 fewer pounds, and now he draws weird shit no one knows the meaning of. But both are diagramming out their crazy schizo thoughts in ways that only make sense to them. I'm also further reminded of this King of the Hill episode where that art promoter mocks Peggy and that other crazy guy. I'm really excited about a potential upcoming Lucas schizo art saga next!!

How long after his next phone is stolen does he post something to this effect?

"Zoomer baes who are down with Bernie need to stop being agephobe and classists by not dating men beneath their social status. I don't have a phone. Go to IHOP, order a triple stack, get crayons, and write on the piece of paper with a teddy bear and balloons on it why you want to date me. Post it back on this light pole. If I think you are catfishing me, I'll rip it down and throw it away. My favorite color is green, so if you write in another color, I'll know you are trolling me; AGEPHOBIC CLASSIST BIGOT DEMOCRAT IN NAME ONLY! I am running out of crayon. Yeet me a bae Zoomers."

 

[Da Dude123]

My God! The autism in that is just too much. I guess since the moo cow doesn't have a phone to babble into about how he is plenty good and how bigots keep holding him down he has to make whatever the hell that is.

So, he hopes to get both a girlfriend and a roommate from that? So, the other Gen X guy will live be also living wherever, or he is willing to live with another Gen X guy? I thought Lucas only wanted to live with a Gen Z hottie? Of course the cow doesn't like hard work, he doesn't want to do any work.

Look what i found on a pole at Riverside and Washington.