Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Wernology]

Ok so, dice sperging.

A d100 is basically an unusable ball. That's why we use a d10 and d10s to simulate it.

I bet he'll read this part then bitch in a comment on the video that "a d100 is basically an unusable ball" but ignore the explanation of why his math is wrong because 100% of it will go over his balding head.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

I’m not much of a gamer (board or otherwise) but the reason games are enjoyable is because you can simulate doing something that you wouldn’t normally be able to do. While it is unlikely I will ever be the supreme commander of an army in a world war, I can play Risk. I’m never going to be a Green Beret or inserted behind enemy lines as part of a top secret mission, but I can fire up the PlayStation and play Call of Duty. It’s all fantasy and it’s fun.

If I want to go buy soda for a party, I hop in the truck and drive to the corner store. It’s not exactly a flight of fantasy or an experience I want to spend hours recreating with a board game.

Mundanity gaming is a thing, and then there are many games about doing the mundane in an exceptional way. Or they have something mundane as a side activity. The thing is, they often do so with a weird and amusing abstraction.

I own about 7 board games about making sandwiches (I'm a game designer they're tax write offs as research material) the fun is in the weird ways they abstract it or throw up unrealistic barriers. I've had a dragon steal my bread, had to visit four different countries to buy ingredients, and I've just had to make a better sandwich than the other guy with nothing wacky based on a strange order criteria. It's all been fun, because the abstraction is fun.

Likewise a video game I actually love is Battle Chef Brigade. The combat is fun, but the cooking is what steals the show.

That game abstracts the cooking into a game of match three then adds layers about adding and removing flavour gems to meet the tastes of the judges while scoring higher based on quality of gems and quantity of the desired types of gems as well as what ingredients you included based on some special bonus score type items you equip. I'm not going to get deep into it, all I'll say is it takes the idea of "cooking monster parts" and has me thinking about ingredients based on how they will affect an abstraction if flavour and pair together to get a desired balance to suit the tastes of the judges I am cooking for. In the moment I'm not thinking "I need more red fire gems" I'm thinking "hmm I think I need some dragon heart." That's what good game abstraction does. Stirring the ingredients is me swapping around the gems to match them. Cutting out the unwanted bits is me mashing a button while selecting the right gem to delete it. Roasting the meal is me letting an oven slowly improve everything without needing to match it. It's all an abstraction, yet I can look at what I'm doing and see how doing something has the effect of what it's abstracting.

Lucas doesn't seem to know what his game is about doing. He can't abstract it as a result. There's no steps to the process to turn into mechanics. Just random mechanics thrown in without sense nor care.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

I bet he'll read this part then bitch in a comment on the video that "a d100 is basically an unusable ball" but ignore the explanation of why his math is wrong because 100% of it will go over his balding head.

Here. Let me send you a picture of the d60 I own that I have laying around on my phone. Just imagine it, but worse. This thing is already unusable enough. It's about the size of a toddler's fist.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Notice the loud TV on in the background? He was in his nursing home room in that video. I bet he hates that TV but he is too much of a pushover to do anything about it. Yeah, something may have happened yesterday that spooked or triggered him and he decided to go dark.

To be fair, that's a battle Lucas can't win, especially if he's living around a bunch of old people at Mallon Place. I've worked around a few senile lonely old fucks that will go down swinging refusing to ever turn off their TV, even when they leave for a while.

Why is Lucas not raging about Mallon Place? He must be miserable, more than he was in his previous living arrangements. Answers we'll never get.

 

[Hatty Hattington]

How does Lucas not understand that if he didn't post 2 videos a day that maybe he could make enough money to not be homeless? He has gaslit himself into thinking that being homeless is a good thing just so he can justify not getting a job, while still having the sliver of self awareness wishing he wasn't homeless.

On another note how much you wanna bet that he hits on girl scouts trying to sell him cookies?

 

[Wernology]

Editing being a bitch on mobile so double post:

Here. Let me send you a picture of the d60 I own that I have laying around on my phone. Just imagine it, but worse. This thing is already unusable enough. It's about the size of a toddler's fist.

I have a nice metal d100 that I basically only use as a desk toy.

Neat looking but not super practical.

I do like the gear spinner d20 though. https://www.pyegames.com/ makes those. I still have normal d20s too, just like the novelty of that gear one.

 

[Da Dude123]

To be fair, that's a battle Lucas can't win, especially if he's living around a bunch of old people at Mallon Place. I've worked around a few senile lonely old fucks that will go down swinging refusing to ever turn off their TV, even when they leave for a while.

Why is Lucas not raging about Mallon Place? He must be miserable, more than he was in his previous living arrangements. Answers we'll never get.

I bet in another month things will start to go sideways at Mallon Place. I would be amazed if by Christmas he is still there. That is kind of funny, if he is rooming with some elderly guy. But he would be agephobic if he mentioned not liking that.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Here it is, a foundational Wernology text.
The fourth page isn't posting for some retarded reason.
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Oh man thanks for posting this! It’s amazing how ass backwards he gets everything. Like, first you’re supposed to build an independent life for yourself with a job, friends, and hobbies. A foundation of self-sufficiency and a basic level of happiness. Then from there you meet a romantic partner, get to know them, develop and deepen your relationship until you think you have someone you want to be with long term. And then, if you both want it and if you’re financially and emotionally stable enough, you have kids. Lucas puts fatherhood first, makes it a requirement of his love quest and looks for any willing barely legal girl to carry his spawn, and expects having a baby with a teenager to also fix the rest of his issues and give him a full life. He assumes some combination of welfare, his parents and her parents will pick up the tab. This is stating the obvious but holy shit what an insane, irresponsible attitude toward bringing new life into the world.

It’s also very interesting that he cites loneliness as his main reason (together with the predictable “stronger baby DNA”). This is a pretty classic narcissist reason to have a kid, to have this totally dependent being that loves you unconditionally and can’t leave you. He has no idea how bad this sounds to sane people.

Also regarding “stronger baby DNA”, that’s maybe a reason to have kids with an older man if you believe his pseudoscience, but it’s not a reason to want to have a kid in the first place. Like, you’re just trying to breed the superior baby as an experiment? Idk, mad scientist Wern has always been very funny to me, thinking women care about having The Strongest Possible Baby.

 

[Wernology]

Youtube deleted this gem.

He's definitely got his ego bruised.


These two I got notifications for but they didn't show up in full in my inbox.

But, hey, tubby, what art school did YOU go to?




Just for fun:

 

[VoidFace]

Youtube deleted this gem.

He's definitely got his ego bruised.
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These two I got notifications for but they didn't show up in full in my inbox.

But, hey, tubby, what art school did YOU go to?

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Just for fun:
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YouTube also deleted a gem he posted on my video.

What on earth does art school have to do anything, though? What a weirdly specific comment for him to make

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

YouTube also deleted a gem he posted on my video.

What on earth does art school have to do anything, though? What a weirdly specific comment for him to make

God, it's gotten to the point where his brain is so totally scrambled that all his responses contain: shoehorning the commenter into one of his beloved "bad" group dichotomies (Gen Z Men, Republicans, Christians), a mixture of disgusting and juvenile sexual insults, which (strangely enough) are usually incest-focused in some way, and the ubiquitous references to people being less intelligent than him.

But just sprayed out, scattershot. No grammar, no sentences, and plenty of non-sequiturs. If he had the tiniest bit of intelligence, he would realize how much he's embarrassing himself. But of course he doesn't.

What makes it fascinating are the little specifics that he sprinkled throughout. You have a stepmom? You have a hentai pillow? Is Lucas ever going to realize that no-one else's brain functions like this? Or malfunctions like this, I guess?

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

All That Chatter Around Her

youtube.com

Here he goes rambling about how doing what the background noise tells you to do is fascism.

Lucas, if you’re reading this, nobody except your schizophrenic fat ass hears voices on the wind or takes orders from the ‘background noise’. Now go take your medication and stay away from little girls.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

All That Chatter Around Her

youtube.com

Here he goes rambling about how doing what the background noise tells you to do is fascism.

Lucas, if you’re reading this, nobody except your schizophrenic fat ass hears voices on the wind or takes orders from the ‘background noise’. Now go take your medication and stay away from little girls.

My single wish is that the next person who talks to Lucas, whether it's Skeletor, or someone from The Geek Room, or anyone else who keeps up on the thread, ask Lucas directly about the Voices on the Wind / Background Noises.

There's no need to be aggressive about it; just ask Lucas if he's considered the possibility that he might be hearing things that other people don't hear. Tell him that you've never understood what he means when he refers to these voices, and you'd like a little bit of clarity in that area. Don't let him start suggesting it was sarcasm, or a joke. Ask him if it's occurred to him that his bipolar condition, which he now agrees he needs to be medicated for, might have given him the delusion of being pursued by these illusory voices.

 

[Particle Bored]

Looking for a few Wern vids if anyone can help.

1: where he talks about "you think youre my dad and I want your cock in my ass" or something like that

2: nipple lick asking if zoomer baes want buttermilk (I did find "do the ladies like milkshakes" while pointing at his nipple, but I swear there was a "buttermilk" vid)

3: chopstick pencils

Looking for original links, not compilations, because reasons.

Also if anyone wants to throw out some of their favorite gross or unhinged vids that come in around 30sec or up to 2min that would be cool. "Vintage" vids welcome.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I think this might be one of the reasons why Lucas enjoys his anger, other than the mania being the positive part of a bipolar cycle: it gives him the ability to defend himself, although in an often wholly irrational fashion, that he normally lacks the courage to manifest.

During the Shadow Boxing Tard fest with Daniel, look how very quickly Lucas tried to de-escalate and say "I'm your friend, why are we both smiling?" etc.

Lucas's anger is an important part of his gimmick. It functions as the immune system of plenty good, the state of maintaining smugness in the face of overwhelming discouragement.

At his core, Lucas feels he is so worthy that Gen Z ought to overlook his glaring shortcomings and breed with him. It's the fantasy of the unattainable babe falling for the lowly dork because of his heart and character, only targeted at an entire generation.

Spoiler: tangent

I find it remarkable that in the annals of Wernology, targeted stalking is not a well documented phenomenon. There was the harassment of his ex-gf, of course, and some record of icky interactions on FB, but Lucas is noteworthy for sexually harassing an entire generation in the abstract, as opposed to fixating on specific individuals for a prolonged period. Unless you consider loitering outside of high school stalking. He's not pining for a specific highschooler that we know of, thoguh.

Lucas acknowledges that he is homeless, poor, romantically unsuccessful, but demands that Gen Z look past that. The focus should be on his special qualities. He offers some encouragement in the form of negging: look past my lack of car, for example, because cars are bad for the environment. Anyway, Lucas apparently believed his mother when she told him he was precious. He is plenty good. Everyone likes to believe that.

Plenty good is a delicate thing. Lucas must constantly defend it. Everywhere he looks there are reminders that the world doesn't see him as he wants to be seen. Mallon Place, empty pockets, nowhere to go, and nothing to do. Every time he opens his mouth, the world cringes and gives him a thumbs down. He's alone, and what's worse, excluded from the parties and courtship rituals of teenage girls. On some level, he must be terrified that he will never be loved again and consumed by self-loathing.

But Lucas is plenty good. The problem is not, cannot be Lucas. When plenty good isn't good enough, Lucas rant about flatbills swooping, cock blocking, bigotry, ageism. Christian hypocrisy, Covid-sluts, etc. He always seems to find his way back to plenty good. The path: anger. When Lucas is spazing and frothing, he is in part building himself back up. I suspect that the harder it gets for Lucas to square being plenty good with being a bumcel, the angrier he's going to get. It's going to take progressively more rage to defend his ego.

 

[PrincessKidana]

YouTube also deleted a gem he posted on my video.

What on earth does art school have to do anything, though? What a weirdly specific comment for him to make

Honestly, this sounds more like projection. It seems like something he may have been guilty of doing and so he has to project his shame onto you. He isn't self-aware enough to recognize what a fucking trainwreck he is compared to others (practically anyone else) and so he likely believes everyone is as pathetic, if not more so, than he is.

 

[VoidFace]

Looking for a few Wern vids if anyone can help.

1: where he talks about "you think youre my dad and I want your cock in my ass" or something like that

2: nipple lick asking if zoomer baes want buttermilk (I did find "do the ladies like milkshakes" while pointing at his nipple, but I swear there was a "buttermilk" vid)

3: chopstick pencils

Looking for original links, not compilations, because reasons.

Also if anyone wants to throw out some of their favorite gross or unhinged vids that come in around 30sec or up to 2min that would be cool. "Vintage" vids welcome.

I’m busy at the moment but if others don’t beat me to it I’ll edit this to add the others later, I just know the name of this one off the top of my head:

I don't know if this is the video and you just misremembered it or not, but this is the closest I could find for number two:

I think @wenttobermuda is right about the third.

 

[Wernology]

Honestly, this sounds more like projection. It seems like something he may have been guilty of doing and so he has to project his shame onto you. He isn't self-aware enough to recognize what a fucking trainwreck he is compared to others (practically anyone else) and so he likely believes everyone is as pathetic, if not more so, than he is.

Hmm, a failed art student obsessed with genetic superiority and fascism...

 

[Da Dude123]

Lucas's anger is an important part of his gimmick. It functions as the immune system of plenty good, the state of maintaining smugness in the face of overwhelming discouragement.

At his core, Lucas feels he is so worthy that Gen Z ought to overlook his glaring shortcomings and breed with him. It's the fantasy of the unattainable babe falling for the lowly dork because of his heart and character, only targeted at an entire generation.

Spoiler: tangent

I find it remarkable that in the annals of Wernology, targeted stalking is not a well documented phenomenon. There was the harassment of his ex-gf, of course, and some record of icky interactions on FB, but Lucas is noteworthy for sexually harassing an entire generation in the abstract, as opposed to fixating on specific individuals for a prolonged period. Unless you consider loitering outside of high school stalking. He's not pining for a specific highschooler that we know of, thoguh.

Lucas acknowledges that he is homeless, poor, romantically unsuccessful, but demands that Gen Z look past that. The focus should be on his special qualities. He offers some encouragement in the form of negging: look past my lack of car, for example, because cars are bad for the environment. Anyway, Lucas apparently believed his mother when she told him he was precious. He is plenty good. Everyone likes to believe that.

Plenty good is a delicate thing. Lucas must constantly defend it. Everywhere he looks there are reminders that the world doesn't see him as he wants to be seen. Mallon Place, empty pockets, nowhere to go, and nothing to do. Every time he opens his mouth, the world cringes and gives him a thumbs down. He's alone, and what's worse, excluded from the parties and courtship rituals of teenage girls. On some level, he must be terrified that he will never be loved again and consumed by self-loathing.

But Lucas is plenty good. The problem is not, cannot be Lucas. When plenty good isn't good enough, Lucas rant about flatbills swooping, cock blocking, bigotry, ageism. Christian hypocrisy, Covid-sluts, etc. He always seems to find his way back to plenty good. The path: anger. When Lucas is spazing and frothing, he is in part building himself back up. I suspect that the harder it gets for Lucas to square being plenty good with being a bumcel, the angrier he's going to get. It's going to take progressively more rage to defend his ego.

As to the stalking thing. The closest thing that I got to that was the whole Lacey Saga. Now, this was not Russell Greer level stalking, but sort of stalking nonetheless. When he was contacting Lacey's friends and associates and demanding that they get Lacey to sleep with him. That was truly something. He is lucky he did not get into any real trouble with that.

Now, the girl at Starbucks that he gave the love note to apparently did file a restraining order against Lucas after he was banned from there. But that was as far as we know, a one off thing. Although, Lucas is banned from a variety of businesses and public spaces.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I bet Lucas hates the group home because he's treated like a child there, and he wants to be seen as a man.

At least that's how it is at the group home my mom works at. They're all basically overgrown children.