Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

It would be great if the Autistic Owls or the Outcast Wiggers on a future video, pressed Lucas on his plans to visit or move back in with his parents. "Skeletor tha god" should ask him about if he even has his mom's address and why she has never had him down to visit since she moved down to Arizona. He would deflect and avoid answering and start talking about "strong baby DNA". But it would be funny to press him on why he believes having a girlfriend would open doors for him in the case of his parents. It could lead to reeeeing and a good chimpout, which would be fine and funny.
 
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WonderWino said:
On that note, I wonder if lucas even actually knows where his mother lives in arizona. He sends stuff to his dad but never said anything about doing so to his mother. I wonder if he would just show up there and have a literal dumb and dumber moment of 'so my little werniekins, where does your mother live? I want to get to the pool asap!' 'I don't know....' only to end up wandering around the streets trying to figure out what to do next
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Towards the end of 2018 the Freak sent his mom and stepdad a Meeple Toss game so he does know where they live.
 
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Holy shit. Lucas can't even understand the sarcasm behind the name of the niceguys subreddit or how they're called niceguys to piss them off sarcastically because they are assholes. Fucking hell a little kid would get the point of that one. If anything his inability to understand such things implies he's on the spectrum and may be one of the things that made his doctor suggest an autism test that he admitted to some years back.

Lucas is showing, yet again, how utterly stupid he truly is. and the best part is its clearly a reference to him having watched walter fates nice guys of reddit videos


and of course, lucas entirely misses the fact that he is very much a niceguy. Just not in the way he thinks
 
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Youtube deleted this one.

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WonderWino said:
Holy shit. Lucas can't even understand the sarcasm behind the name of the niceguys subreddit or how they're called niceguys to piss them off sarcastically because they are assholes. Fucking hell a little kid would get the point of that one. If anything his inability to understand such things implies he's on the spectrum and may be one of the things that made his doctor suggest an autism test that he admitted to some years back.

Lucas is showing, yet again, how utterly stupid he truly is. and the best part is its clearly a reference to him having watched walter fates nice guys of reddit videos


and of course, lucas entirely misses the fact that he is very much a niceguy. Just not in the way he thinks
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Wouldn't be shocked to this posted on r/niceguys. A complete and utter lack of self-awareness and understanding of basic sarcasm.
 
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Neko GF said:
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Wouldn't be shocked to this posted on r/niceguys. A complete and utter lack of self-awareness and basic sarcasm.
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Indeed, that video would make a perfect post for that subreddit. The funniest part is the fact he proves he doesn't understand basic sarcasm when he has a habit of accusing other people of listening to 'background sarcasm'

It makes me wonder what he considers 'sarcasm'
 
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Get a load of the Wern's intricate new game with a combination of every possible builder strategy concept and a D20 dice. I got to hand it to the Wern I used to think it was all a front for puss puss. His games are always about his other favourite thing food.

edit: I like the random German words Zu Den Radern in there

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Fanatical Pragmatist said:
Does Lucas's Dad, a.k.a. King Roy, actually live in Arizona? I know his mother & stepfather do.
I thought he lived somewhere else in Washington or Idaho or something.
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I thought King Roy's Elk Kingdom was near Aberdeen, and Myrna is with Larry in some condo in Arizona near the Mexican border. It's confusing because Lucas suggests both sides are millionaires giving all their riches to him.
 
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Maxxicus Callahan said:
Get a load of the Wern's intricate new game with a combination of every possible builder strategy concept and a D20 dice. I got to hand it to the Wern I used to think it was all a front for puss puss. His games are always about his other favourite thing food.

edit: I like the random German words Zu Den Radern in there

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'Collecting fruit to your skateboard'
'Parkouring young famer'
'wheel over restaurant where you're selling cheesecakes to go with your meals'
'part engine builder' (since when do skateboards have anything to do with engines?)

This is literal schizophrenic gibberish. None of it makes sense mashed together, or individually for that matter. and why the fuck is the german in there at all? I know he doesn't speak it (it means 'parkour to the bikes' if anyone is wondering) so he either ripped it off someone else or dumped something into a translator trying to sound smarter than he is. The fact he put an umlaut over the A shows it has to be one of the two. He's too stupid to understand german grammar, let alone well enough to add that in on his own

Whatever meds they're putting him on that were giving him the shakes clearly aren't strong enough. He's getting more incoherent with every new game 'idea'

That said, i'm just going to point out that this appears to be all young skater shit, so lucas is literally going full 'hello fellow young people' non ironically
 
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Stafford Beer Bong said:
I was just gonna post this exact statement.

Seriously, this is incoherent nonsense even by Wern’s standards.
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I don't know why but this one is making more sense to me than his other games except it's a smorgasbord of game mechanics for the sake of cramming in as much as possible but the whole thing is funny like why not simplify reduce it down to one game of some guy skateboarding around a board collecting fruit for cheesecakes than creating engines for skateboards also.
melonpan said:
Rick Chavez, your local chad of the internet
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I'm liable to kill is like his save my life from suicide bit. We know he won't do it. Its kind of disturbing anyone would say that though as a justification for getting laid like the way some deranged incels argue women are responsible for male violence because they won't give themselves up for some dirt bag to fuck.

Edit: I was imagining this screen cap earlier blown up to a huge display on a building wall or in some modern art gallery how horrifying that would be there is something so off putting about this in context or out of context.

Screen Shot 2021-10-04 at 7.26.25 PM.png


Edit: it’s so weird cropped
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Maxxicus Callahan said:
Get a load of the Wern's intricate new game with a combination of every possible builder strategy concept and a D20 dice. I got to hand it to the Wern I used to think it was all a front for puss puss. His games are always about his other favourite thing food.

edit: I like the random German words Zu Den Radern in there

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Socialist Comrade The Wern demonstrates his cred as a member of the working class by thinking farmers take skateboards to work then sell their own food from restaurants. Also they collect fruits from the same locations, apparently. Also Cheesecake grows alongside fruit?

Like any Wern Game, aside from the infamous Meeple Toss, this sounds like it would take hours.
25 won hands wins the game.
Assuming 4 people are playing, and assuming everyone can get through their movement in ~30 seconds, that's about 2 minutes per rotation. Assuming you need at least 3 cards in your hand to make a "meal", that's about 6 minutes for a single "hand" to be won.
Assuming that 1 player absolutely dominates and wins 25-0-0-0, that's 150 minutes or 2.5 hours.
That's a minimum play time of 2.5 hours, at absolute optimistic best.

The real question though, is could the Wern sit through his own games without being allowed to eat?
 
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So, I finally got mildly annoyed enough by Lucas' constant referencing to a book of the bible that does not exist: "Mark 23."

Mark has 16 chapters.

I looked through all of them, all but the 16th chapter have up to and beyond a 23rd verse.

What the dumbfuck is referencing when he says "Mark 23" is Mark 10: 21-25.

"21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”

24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!

25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”"

Doesn't really reference greed at all, shocker, it's just one of the bog standard, "You can't buy your way into heaven, fuckos."

Feel free to rate this autism but goddamn that "Mark 23" thing has been a minor irritation since he started saying it, I just never got off my ass and flipped through the book of Mark to figure out which 23rd verse he was babbling about.
 
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WonderWino said:
Holy shit. Lucas can't even understand the sarcasm behind the name of the niceguys subreddit or how they're called niceguys to piss them off sarcastically because they are assholes. Fucking hell a little kid would get the point of that one. If anything his inability to understand such things implies he's on the spectrum and may be one of the things that made his doctor suggest an autism test that he admitted to some years back.

Lucas is showing, yet again, how utterly stupid he truly is. and the best part is its clearly a reference to him having watched walter fates nice guys of reddit videos


and of course, lucas entirely misses the fact that he is very much a niceguy. Just not in the way he thinks
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" That's like saying that green is red, red is up."

Then,

"I don't like pop culture, it's why I'm a communist."


He is officially retarded.
 
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