Perhaps he should defect to north korea. Lucas could be like that american defector that was in the crossing the line documentary and boasted about how even when north koreans were starving to death in massive numbers they still fed him and how the state would feed and take care of him until his dying day
I can see him playing that part to a T, and being used by the government to show how capitalism and the US are evil because lucas is a literal walking definition of a lazy, incompetent, insane, morbidly obese american yet he still supports their ideology.....at least until the news of his defection dies down and he quickly gets thrown into a camp and left to starve/be worked to death all while screeching about how north korea isn't truly communist for not giving him a little asian girl to fuck.....which they wouldn't, they would at best just kidnap someone from some european country like they did with the other defectors
I mean isn't north korea exactly what lucas claims to want? Being treated as a celebrity, provided with free food, medical care and housing even when everyone else around him is starving to death because he's super important and even being provided a state mandated wife?
Though somehow I doubt posting his attraction signs in pyongyang would go over nearly as well as it does in spokane
