Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Lucas wants a girlfriend. For as little as $5.00, you can help him with his goal. And he knows there is tons of age gap dating. Lower Post street, Volstead Act, Fast Eddie's. Lots of age gap love there. He knows he just isn't seeing things! He's not crazy!
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Poop Chute said:
It irrationally irritates me that he photographs himself chin first, highlighting that goddamn volcano on his face, then thinks that photo is the one to get him his teenaged bae.

But that’s what makes Lucas, Lucas.
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This is when he's at his most entertaining,when he starts posting about needing a young girl to date.

Side note: Has anyone noticed there have been no more live board games with the two other residents at Mallon?
I assumed all along even they would tire of his shit and ghost him,as much as one can "ghost" in a confined space.
This could be what is turning his limited attention to dating strategy again.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
Yeah, this welfare collecting cow is a "worker". He hasn't worked in over 20 years. He doesn't plan on working ever again. Wants the government to provide for him. There was 3 comments on here. The coward must have deleted them because they criticized his post. The stupid lolcow.
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Nice pus-filled cyst on his chin.
 
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AnOminous said:
Nice pus-filled cyst on his chin.
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Because of his MRSAbeeties, normal wounds don't heal. We are seeing in real time a somewhat normal pimple turn into a festering cyst on the face of the pedofreak.

VoidFace said:
Here's a piece of pseudoscientific, pseudo intellectual lunacy I had forgotten about. Enjoy
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I know this is late, but Lucas has ZERO idea what telomerase actually does.

"Gay marriage got legalized because there's a lot of money in a gay wedding"
lol what?
 
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Da Dude123 said:
Lucas wants a girlfriend. For as little as $5.00, you can help him with his goal. And he knows there is tons of age gap dating. Lower Post street, Volstead Act, Fast Eddie's. Lots of age gap love there. He knows he just isn't seeing things! He's not crazy!
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"Apparently they're not agephobic bigots as I imagined. People were just secretive and lied to me."
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Hooooly shit dude really? You're just gonna casually abandon a delusion you held for years and compulsively made videos ranting about, just like that, poof. Goddamn I don't have to tell most of you how badly Lucas has worn out the words "agephobia" and "agephobes". I have undoubtedly heard this motherfucker use those words more than all the other people I've ever heard say it in my life by at least a power of ten. How many hundreds of thousands of times do you think Lucas repeated that word, aloud or in his head, until just a few months ago?

Now they're not agephobes. No uh, apology for endlessly maligning the generation you hope to date with that term? No, it was other people's fault Lucas was just casually mistaken about this issue. People were secretive and lied to him, you see. They kept the age gap love dating scene a secret I guess (which suggests that a certain That Motherfucker didn't actually normalize it singlehandedly). They lied to Lucas, they kept it a secret, and yet somehow he sees it, don't tell him he's imagining things, he sees it at bars, he's not crazy! They hold hands in public, he sees it all the time! Damn their secretive and exclusive age gap dating scene! Don't they get that Lucas needs to be invited in?! Don't they know a barely legal hottie is supposed to approach him and ask him out while he avoids eye contact?! How dare they exclude this shy hobo with literally no friends or social life, whose encounters with women are as rare as they are horrifying?! Secretive liars!!! :mad:

This development in his delusional belief system to abandon the "agephobia" line in order to cultivate a paranoia regarding a secret older male younger female dating scene, is honestly probably for the better in terms of potential laffs tho. The dull repetition of an accusation of bigotry was not inherently funny but I feel like a paranoid schizo bum feeling persecuted by an imaginary romantic subculture sounds pretty hilarious :story:
 
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People are not throwing money at the Pedo Creep so it means it doesn't matter to anyone he can't afford to live a rich full life and give his family Christmas presents. It's bad for Christian to have a home, car, money, credit cards because they work but it would be just fine for the lazy Pedo to become rich via begging or his parents death.

Creep, your family doesn't give a shit about you buying them presents. They just want you to stay away from them.
As far as Mallon Place, you wanted for Frontier Behavioral Health to get you a place to live and that is what they did. If you don't want to be there, pack up your backpack and head out to find a homeless shelter.
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Fanatical Pragmatist said:
I know this is late, but Lucas has ZERO idea what telomerase actually does.
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It literally does exactly the opposite of what he says. They're mostly nonfunctional filler DNA at the ends of strands of DNA, which actually get shorter over time as cells reproduce. They're there because copying isn't perfect, so you lose a bit each time. Eventually you run out and start losing actual functional DNA to the point the cells can't reproduce any more, degrade in quality, etc.

Sperm is unusual because they actually get longer in sperm, but this isn't a good thing either. Older men are more likely to have defective offspring. In Lucas's case he already has shit genes with all kinds of mental illness and diseases.
 
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AnOminous said:
It literally does exactly the opposite of what he says. They're mostly nonfunctional filler DNA at the ends of strands of DNA, which actually get shorter over time as cells reproduce. They're there because copying isn't perfect, so you lose a bit each time. Eventually you run out and start losing actual functional DNA to the point the cells can't reproduce any more, degrade in quality, etc.

Sperm is unusual because they actually get longer in sperm, but this isn't a good thing either. Older men are more likely to have defective offspring. In Lucas's case he already has shit genes with all kinds of mental illness and diseases.
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Yeah older men *generally* get longer telomere as a way of selection trying to off-set the chromosomal decay that comes with age. Older men have longer telomeres because older men generally NEED longer telomeres, while younger men do not.

But that's neither here nor there. Lucas believes that telomeres:
- are electric
- cure COVID
- make you smarter
- directly transfer health benefits to women who get jizzed in
- can be cleaved off and attached to a Y chromosome to turn it into an X chromosome
 
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This popped up back up in my recommends again, and I have a question. Is he aware of how hypocritical he is, or is he like a goldfish and can't remember a few hours earlier?

youtu.be

Forgetting That The Internet Is Forever With The Wern

This is just a small sampling of the times Lucas has demanded he be "hooked up".Two videos used in the above compliation were just posted today and are curre...
youtu.be youtu.be
 
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AnOminous said:
It literally does exactly the opposite of what he says. They're mostly nonfunctional filler DNA at the ends of strands of DNA, which actually get shorter over time as cells reproduce. They're there because copying isn't perfect, so you lose a bit each time. Eventually you run out and start losing actual functional DNA to the point the cells can't reproduce any more, degrade in quality, etc.

Sperm is unusual because they actually get longer in sperm, but this isn't a good thing either. Older men are more likely to have defective offspring. In Lucas's case he already has shit genes with all kinds of mental illness and diseases.
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Yup, the Pedo Creeps telomerase is protecting his defective package.
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mothman96 said:
nocampingear is the Pedo Creep's older brother Shawn.
The comments:

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Jesus Christ. That gene pool is full of real fucking winners. And no woman has voluntarily reproduced with either of them? Shocking.
“Maybe it doesn’t matter to anyone that I can’t afford to buy my family Christmas presents”. While we all know he never had any intention of purchasing shit for his family because, let’s face it, lucas is *the gift* here, he never once thought of them while shoving extra meals down his facehole. Why does an atheist communist who hates corporate greed and capitalism want to partake in a religious holiday of greed anyway? Surely he isn’t full of shit and using it as an excuse to e beg, right?
Lucas, just send your family some macaroni art and finger paintings you’ve done during craft time with the other loons. I’m sure Mallon Place would be willing to help you out with the cost of a stamp and an envelope.

Edit: he probably already ate the macaroni art, didn’t he?
 
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