Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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Probably because Lucas' dry spell after his last girlfriend kicked him out started in his 30s.

Lucas has had no sex in his 30s.
Yeah but other than rumors of him sucking a dick, he wasn't having sex in his late teens or 20's either.
Or 40's for that matter.

One thing I forgot to mention is that these days pretty much all nursing homes have both unit entrance doors and main building entrance doors that are auto locking and require a keycode to open and leave the unit or building. So even if lucas wanted to psych himself up to a ragequit and walk out the door like he would at the shelter or whatever he couldn't leave without permission and staff assistance. So a ragequit waddling into the streets of spokane isn't on the table even if he wanted to. It would just get him forcibly sedated and conditions made more restrictive if he tried that route
I thought he was allowed to leave Mallon Place though?
Which is why he was still posting videos ranting and wandering the streets at midnight before winter set in?
 
Yeah but other than rumors of him sucking a dick, he wasn't having sex in his late teens or 20's either.
Or 40's for that matter.


I thought he was allowed to leave Mallon Place though?
Which is why he was still posting videos ranting and wandering the streets at midnight before winter set in?
He's allowed to leave for a certain number of hours per day, or an overnight stay somewhere else (usually involving staying with a family member) this requires permission from the nursing home and for them to know where he is. He has to abide by the same rules as every other nursing home resident. In short, he is required to provide a time he will return by and if he hasn't returned by then mallon place is required by law to report it to the police as a missing resident, who in turn put out whatever the alert is these days for nursing home residents that wander off or go missing. The cops have to return him to the nursing home when he's found

That said, if he was out past midnight it could only be because he lied about staying with someone else for an overnight stay, which itself could only happen if somebody at mallon place didn't do their job and confirm where he was staying and with who. If something had happened to lucas when he was out like that the nursing home would be liable for it and somebody would be getting in some deep legal shit
 
Lucas doesn't have ground to complain, yes. But places like Mallon basically going "oh how much do you get in welfare? oh perfect, we cost that -$50" is kind of sketchy.

That being said with someone like Lucas who has zero money saving or proper budgeting skills, its a good fit.
I mean he burned through his stimulus check in under a week...


You could tell by his facial reactions that all the lecturing he was getting about age gap relationships was going in one ear and out the other.
Especially the weirdo doubt-y face he gave when Mrz Parker was saying that the best sex is when you're in your 30's.
I've been thinking Mallon Place is banking a lot more money per resident than what is deducted from each residents check. When it 1st came out Mallon Place is an assisted living facility, someone here said assisted living facilities cost several thousand a month for a person to live in one. Lucas would not be able to afford to live in ALF. Here is the thing, Mallon is Medicaid funded facility. They likely have a monthly amt, say $3000 that they charge per resident. The facility deducts a % from each residents check and bills Medicare for the rest. In Lucas's case $744 is deducted and the facility bills Medicare for $2256.
One thing I forgot to mention is that these days pretty much all nursing homes have both unit entrance doors and main building entrance doors that are auto locking and require a keycode to open and leave the unit or building. So even if lucas wanted to psych himself up to a ragequit and walk out the door like he would at the shelter or whatever he couldn't leave without permission and staff assistance. So a ragequit waddling into the streets of spokane isn't on the table even if he wanted to. It would just get him forcibly sedated and conditions made more restrictive if he tried that route
Keep in mind Lucas is not restricted from leaving the facility. He can be out of the Mallon Place without supervision from 6 am to 11 pm. He can leave 1 day and not come back. We currently do not know if anyone has the authority to keep him from permanently leaving the facility.

ETA:
Yea, Lucas is a "changed" man alright.

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I've been thinking Mallon Place is banking a lot more money per resident than what is deducted from each residents check. When it 1st came out Mallon Place is an assisted living facility, someone here said assisted living facilities cost several thousand a month for a person to live in one. Lucas would not be able to afford to live in ALF. Here is the thing, Mallon is Medicaid funded facility. They likely have a monthly amt, say $3000 that they charge per resident. The facility deducts a % from each residents check and bills Medicare for the rest. In Lucas's case $744 is deducted and the facility bills Medicare for $2256.

Keep in mind Lucas is not restricted from leaving the facility. He can be out of the Mallon Place from 6 am to 11 pm. He can leave 1 day and not come back.
He does have to inform the staff where he will be and when he'll be back. If he leaves and does not come back mallon place is required by law to inform the police, they are required to issue an alert for a missing nursing home resident and put out a search for him. This is a legal requirement for all nursing home residents. If he fails to return for any reason whatsoever he's automatically considered a missing resident and everything in relation to missing residents kicks in. This has nothing to do with lucas personally, this is the law for all nursing home residents in the US, as well as canada for that matter. Don't forget that lucas is a ward of the state as a nursing home resident. There are legal responsibilities on their part that are very different from him living on his own

That said, he can be told he can't leave the facility for any number of reasons. They don't refuse it because he's behaving himself and does what he is supposed to. If he tries to take off on one of his days out he's going to end up provoking a legally mandated search that would land him on the news just like missing kids with those amber alerts. and when he did get returned to mallon place, he'd never be allowed out of the building again without an escort after an incident like that. Its also worth noting that his payee, case manager and whoever else he has doing shit for him would be informed of his disappearance and would be required to inform the police the moment they had contact with him during such an incident

The thing is, I don't think lucas fully grasps that this is the case and would probably think he was being clever taking off like that. Not realizing he'd end up in serious shit from the cops, the nursing home, his wrangler and making the news yet again as an escaped nursing home patient instead of creeping on little girls at starbucks. I'm sure myrna and the rest of his family would be none too pleased at seeing lucas get on the news like that. Especially if people they know saw it
 
He does have to inform the staff where he will be and when he'll be back. If he leaves and does not come back mallon place is required by law to inform the police, they are required to issue an alert for a missing nursing home resident and put out a search for him. This is a legal requirement for all nursing home residents. If he fails to return for any reason whatsoever he's automatically considered a missing resident and everything in relation to missing residents kicks in. This has nothing to do with lucas personally, this is the law for all nursing home residents in the US, as well as canada for that matter. Don't forget that lucas is a ward of the state as a nursing home resident. There are legal responsibilities on their part that are very different from him living on his own

That said, he can be told he can't leave the facility for any number of reasons. They don't refuse it because he's behaving himself and does what he is supposed to. If he tries to take off on one of his days out he's going to end up provoking a legally mandated search that would land him on the news just like missing kids with those amber alerts. and when he did get returned to mallon place, he'd never be allowed out of the building again without an escort after an incident like that. Its also worth noting that his payee, case manager and whoever else he has doing shit for him would be informed of his disappearance and would be required to inform the police the moment they had contact with him during such an incident

The thing is, I don't think lucas fully grasps that this is the case and would probably think he was being clever taking off like that. Not realizing he'd end up in serious shit from the cops, the nursing home, his wrangler and making the news yet again as an escaped nursing home patient instead of creeping on little girls at starbucks. I'm sure myrna and the rest of his family would be none too pleased at seeing lucas get on the news like that. Especially if people they know saw it
I do not think he has to inform the facility where he will be or what time he'll be back. He just has to be back by 11 pm. As I said prior we currently do not know if anyone has the authority to keep him at Mallon if he doesn't want to be there. If he was there by court order, he would not be able to leave when he wanted.

ETA:
Now I can see them notifying the police for a missing resident. But in his case if the police go out to look for him and find him, he says he doesn't want to go back, who has the authority to force him to return.
 
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I do not think he has to inform the facility where he will be or what time he'll be back. He just has to be back by 11 pm. As I said prior we currently do not know if anyone has the authority to keep him at Mallon if he doesn't want to be there. If he was there by court order, he would not be able to leave when he wanted.

ETA:
Now I can see them notifying the police for a missing resident. But in his case if the police go out to look for him and find him, he says he doesn't want to go back, who has the authority to force him to return.
Any resident who leaves a nursing home for the day for any reason has to state where they intend to go and when they expect to return. This is explicitly so they will know where to start looking if anybody fails to return or something happens

Again, he doesn't have all the usual rights because he's a nursing home resident and thus a ward of the state. He doesn't have the option to just leave or to simply refuse to return. If he fails to return and the cops find him they have to return him whether he wants to or not. Its not for them to make a call on the matter. They get the report of a missing resident they have to return him. If he gets pissy about it he gets taken into custody and returned, same as any escaped resident If lucas wants to leave permanently he has to take that up with his wrangler or get an attorney and have them argue his competency to be on his own. But given how lucas is of neither sound mind nor sound body thats not likely to be an easy task. Especially considering if he were fit to be on his own he wouldn't be living in a nursing home in his 40s. The whole point of the system is to prevent any random resident that doesn't want to get dumped in a nursing home from just leaving or having a friend or family member take them out for the day and take off when they have the opportunity
 
Any resident who leaves a nursing home for the day for any reason has to state where they intend to go and when they expect to return. This is explicitly so they will know where to start looking if anybody fails to return or something happens

Again, he doesn't have all the usual rights because he's a nursing home resident and thus a ward of the state. He doesn't have the option to just leave or to simply refuse to return. If he fails to return and the cops find him they have to return him whether he wants to or not. Its not for them to make a call on the matter. They get the report of a missing resident they have to return him. If he gets pissy about it he gets taken into custody and returned, same as any escaped resident If lucas wants to leave permanently he has to take that up with his wrangler or get an attorney and have them argue his competency to be on his own. But given how lucas is of neither sound mind nor sound body thats not likely to be an easy task. Especially considering if he were fit to be on his own he wouldn't be living in a nursing home in his 40s. The whole point of the system is to prevent any random resident that doesn't want to get dumped in a nursing home from just leaving or having a friend or family member take them out for the day and take off when they have the opportunity
Barring a court order or maybe the doctors who've treated him declaring/signing to paper he is unable to be on his own, We do not know if he can be forced to stay at Mallon.
 
Barring a court order or maybe the doctors who've treated him declaring/signing to paper he is unable to be on his own, We do not know if he can be forced to stay at Mallon.
You don't need a court order or a doctor signing off on anything like that. No resident of a nursing home can just up and leave on the spot. They are wards of the state. You don't have the legal right to leave that easily. Assuming you're of sound mind (lucas isn't, by all accounts which is why he's there) you have to go through the process of arranging a discharge. Which given lucas's mental issues wouldn't be easy, as a guy who's plan is to leave and go live in a shelter or the bus station isn't of sound mind. But more to the point in lucas's case, he's too incompetent to even attempt to arrange a legitimate discharge (or get a lawyer to force the issue on his own). Remember we're talking about a guy who couldn't even self register for college classes with clear instructions on the website and from staff. If lucas declares his intention to be discharged, given what they know about his mental health they'll do what they usually do with residents - nod, humor him and say ok we'll get on that, and promptly forget about it. His wrangler isn't going to help him get discharged either, as they know damn well he's where he needs to be. and as has already been mentioned, he can't just wander off and never return as that ends with police involvement, a missing resident alert to the media and a shitshow that will get him into serious trouble when the cops find him, followed by being forcibly returned

His only options are arrange and go through the discharge process himself, which he is too stupid to do and won't get much if any support from staff, or do something serious enough that they can't keep him there anymore because he's a danger to other residents, which would mean lucas likely getting arrested at that point, and would only occur after other steps were taken like medication and a guard assigned to him. Besides, if he went that route he'd never get help from his wrangler getting into a place like mallon again when he needed it when his health starts to take a nosedive
 
You don't need a court order or a doctor signing off on anything like that. No resident of a nursing home can just up and leave on the spot. They are wards of the state. You don't have the legal right to leave that easily. Assuming you're of sound mind (lucas isn't, by all accounts which is why he's there) you have to go through the process of arranging a discharge. Which given lucas's mental issues wouldn't be easy, as a guy who's plan is to leave and go live in a shelter or the bus station isn't of sound mind. But more to the point in lucas's case, he's too incompetent to even attempt to arrange a legitimate discharge (or get a lawyer to force the issue on his own). Remember we're talking about a guy who couldn't even self register for college classes with clear instructions on the website and from staff. If lucas declares his intention to be discharged, given what they know about his mental health they'll do what they usually do with residents - nod, humor him and say ok we'll get on that, and promptly forget about it. His wrangler isn't going to help him get discharged either, as they know damn well he's where he needs to be. and as has already been mentioned, he can't just wander off and never return as that ends with police involvement, a missing resident alert to the media and a shitshow that will get him into serious trouble when the cops find him, followed by being forcibly returned

His only options are arrange and go through the discharge process himself, which he is too stupid to do and won't get much if any support from staff, or do something serious enough that they can't keep him there anymore because he's a danger to other residents, which would mean lucas likely getting arrested at that point, and would only occur after other steps were taken like medication and a guard assigned to him. Besides, if he went that route he'd never get help from his wrangler getting into a place like mallon again when he needed it when his health starts to take a nosedive
A person does not become ward of the state just by being in a nursing care facility. It would take legal action to be declared as such. If he was a ward of the state, the state would have appointed him a legal guardian, responsible to see to his overall care. Now we can go back and forth on this but I don't believe he can be kept at Mallon against his will unless it's been through the court.

ETA:
I wondered what happened with his last court case for his trespassing at the park.
It is still active:

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On Mallon Place in general, I wonder how well it is ran and how truly compliant they are in following state and federal guidelines. Since Lucas was dumped there, we know it is a bottom of the barrel 1 star facility, since that is where a cow like Lucas would be eligible to go. I sort of suspect, that this is not a well run facility at all. Also, this appears to be a facility more for speds than just your standard senior citizen.

Oh, can you imagine if Lucas wondered away from there and made the news for a missing disabled adult? We here at Kiwi Farms would be in our glory! It would be quite the saga. Especially if Lucas made his videos about bigots and being plenty good while on the lam! We would be posting like mad about the escaped cow.

The next 6 months should be interesting on where this all leads to. If things get too boring I think old Klickitat should release screenshots of the dms with lolcow Lucas Werner.
 
A person does not become ward of the state just by being in a nursing care facility. It would take legal action to be declared as such. If he was a ward of the state, the state would have appointed him a legal guardian, responsible to see to his overall care. Now we can go back and forth on this but I don't believe he can be kept at Mallon against his will unless it's been through the court.

ETA:
I wondered what happened with his last court case for his trespassing at the park.
It is still active:

View attachment 2922246
I didn't say he could be kept there against his will, I said he couldn't just leave so long as he is a resident, and he can't. In order to leave he has to go through the process of arranging an actual discharge before being able to leave. If he just never comes back on a day pass or somehow manages to walk out, they have to report it as an escaped resident, the cops have to get involved, he has to be returned to the nursing home, the same as any other resident and at that point there is no way they'd let him out for the day again. The issue here is whether he's too stupid to figure out how to go about arranging a discharge or whether he'd just assume someone else would do it for him, which they won't. If anything is own laziness and stupidity will either keep him there or get him into serious trouble thinking he can just take off without consequences like its a homeless shelter

That said, I just came across this on yahoo:


Ozzie made history in 2009, after becoming the "first gorilla in the world ever to participate in a voluntary blood pressure reading," according to the zoo. Zoo Atlanta noted that gorillas are considered geriatric after the age of 40.

Well now, that isn't good news for our resident silverback. Lucas is now considered geriatric by the chad silverback gorillas he so idolizes. He might not want to keep using that particular comparison
 
I didn't say he could be kept there against his will, I said he couldn't just leave so long as he is a resident, and he can't. In order to leave he has to go through the process of arranging an actual discharge before being able to leave. If he just never comes back on a day pass or somehow manages to walk out, they have to report it as an escaped resident, the cops have to get involved, he has to be returned to the nursing home, the same as any other resident and at that point there is no way they'd let him out for the day again. The issue here is whether he's too stupid to figure out how to go about arranging a discharge or whether he'd just assume someone else would do it for him, which they won't. If anything is own laziness and stupidity will either keep him there or get him into serious trouble thinking he can just take off without consequences like its a homeless shelter
I do not believe he would be reported as an escaped resident, but a missing resident. Now when the police find him and he were to tell them he voluntarily left and doesn't want to go back even to go through the process of discharge, would he be forced to go back. Or would the police just notify Mallon Place he's been found and he doesn't want to return. If he decides to bounce Mallon Place (without discharge) we'll see what happens.
 
I didn't say he could be kept there against his will, I said he couldn't just leave so long as he is a resident, and he can't. In order to leave he has to go through the process of arranging an actual discharge before being able to leave. If he just never comes back on a day pass or somehow manages to walk out, they have to report it as an escaped resident, the cops have to get involved, he has to be returned to the nursing home, the same as any other resident and at that point there is no way they'd let him out for the day again. The issue here is whether he's too stupid to figure out how to go about arranging a discharge or whether he'd just assume someone else would do it for him, which they won't. If anything is own laziness and stupidity will either keep him there or get him into serious trouble thinking he can just take off without consequences like its a homeless shelter

That said, I just came across this on yahoo:


Ozzie made history in 2009, after becoming the "first gorilla in the world ever to participate in a voluntary blood pressure reading," according to the zoo. Zoo Atlanta noted that gorillas are considered geriatric after the age of 40.

Well now, that isn't good news for our resident silverback. Lucas is now considered geriatric by the chad silverback gorillas he so idolizes. He might not want to keep using that particular comparison
Lucas would definitely assume someone would do the work of discharging him for him. That is how his cow brain works! Someone always needs to do everything for him. That is how he likes it. Have someone sign him up for college, yeet him a bae, send him doordash. What are you doing to help him, he often asks.

Lucas asks not what he can do for his country. He asks what his country can do for him!
 
That is a plenty good theory. However, if he just up and leaves Mallon Place not sure his payee will just stop sending Mallon Place money and okay him returning to full hobo status. I could be wrong, but I am not sure Lucas has the autonomy to just say he doesn't want to be at Mallon Place anymore.

The payee has to try to make sure Lucas has housing. He does right now and the payee most likely cannot just authorize a return to the bus depot. Lucas would probably have to get evicted, which he is an expert at. Maybe he will do so? Lucas only thinks of the present. Right now, right now, right now, right now!
Now that is a story arc I wanna see; Lucas the Marxist-Age-Gap-Love-Scientist asserting his autonomy in a fight against the state apparatus of social services.
 
I do not believe he would be reported as an escaped resident, but a missing resident. Now when the police find him and he were to tell them he voluntarily left and doesn't want to go back even to go through the process of discharge, would he be forced to go back. Or would the police just notify Mallon Place he's been found and he doesn't want to return. If he decides to bounce Mallon Place (without discharge) we'll see what happens.
Refusing to return is frequently considered an escape, and regardless its irrelevant as it leads to the same actions being taken. If he has not been officially discharged the police are required to return him no matter what he says. No different than if he were any other resident or some dementia patient. If he says he wants to be discharged and do his own thing they'll say 'ok but thats something you have to take up with them. we have to take you back' If he gets fighty about it he gets arrested. As long as he is a registered resident he has to be returned. Doesn't matter what he says to the cops they have to treat it the same way and return him. Nor does he have a choice as to requiring a discharge. As long as he is a registered resident mallon place cannot legally allow him to leave permanently and are entirely responsible for anything that happens to him and for his actions if they fail to comply with their obligations in that regard. If he wants to leave mallon place he absolutely has to do the paperwork and get discharged. There is way too much liability involved to even consider any other course on their part. The last thing they need is the state breathing down their neck because they didn't do their job and lucas's feet rotted off under a bridge and put him in the ICU despite records stating he's supposed to be living at mallon place. Nobody is going risk jail over something like that for just so lucas can be a lazy pos

That said, him chimping out over something as simple as filling out discharge paperwork and waddling off into the night to trigger a city wide police and media alert is the kind of thing that would come back to haunt him pretty quickly and wouldn't look good on any present or future claims that he is of sound mind and should be left to live as he pleases. That kind of behavior is the kind of thing judges and social workers see as being incompetent to make decisions. He'd be asking to get court ordered into the next place, assuming such a place even exists after fucking up mallon place. He'll be lucky to avoid dying on the streets at that point. He's not getting any younger or healthier and at his age and level of health its starting to catch up to him, as his current beetus feetus saga demonstrates
 
He moved in voluntarily. If he takes off he'll be reported missing. The police will in fact return him, which will lead to a shouting match/argument about him wanting to leave, and Mallon place kicking him out. He'll be immediately discharged. Whether or not the police decide to or can get him involuntarily committed (not that easy) he will be done at Mallon.

The missing resident call will get made and the police will look, definitely. As he's voluntary he can't be forced to stay, but he will be returned.

He can be forced into a psych hold or ward, but that's a different process.
 
Klick was sooo right that all Pukas does now is steal memes he doesn't even understand... Or memes that contradict some of his longest-held idiocies. Par example:
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This is exactly the kind of truism that Lucas used to rail against. Anybody remember his "If you want pizza, you've got to go looking for pizza? If you want oxygen you've got to go looking for oxygen?"

And now all of a sudden, the universe will send him who he deserves. Well, apparently, Lucas deserves no one, because that's who the universe is sending him.
 
Klick was sooo right that all Pukas does now is steal memes he doesn't even understand... Or memes that contradict some of his longest-held idiocies. Par example:
View attachment 2922701
This is exactly the kind of truism that Lucas used to rail against. Anybody remember his "If you want pizza, you've got to go looking for pizza? If you want oxygen you've got to go looking for oxygen?"

And now all of a sudden, the universe will send him who he deserves. Well, apparently, Lucas deserves no one, because that's who the universe is sending him.

So, he agrees that it's not in the cards.

It's been 11 years and the universe has clearly determined that nobody deserves to be subjected to Lucas.
 
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