Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

TurdFondler said:
It's super lucky now that he can't afford lower Post St that there's another age gap scene this time by the rental scooters at the mall!
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All he has to do is show up and he can scoot away with an entire harem
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Shit, no wonder lucas is deliberately stuffing his face. If he loses his legs the government will get him a mobility scooter. Then he can show off for the zoomer baes down at the scooter rental shop

I can see it now, lucas driving down through post street and pulling into the mall, carrying his starbucks hot chocolate in one hand, and a big bag of taco bell sitting on his lap while he does this...


Except it would end with lucas crashing and having it land on top of him in front of a bunch of freaked out zoomers
 
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I was very amused to see that he liked this person’s post
 

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Two food related things, because it is Lucas after all.

1) Cotton candy is disgusting. I've never met an adult who would want a cotton candy machine in their house and if someone DID I would definitely consider it a red flag. Furthermore, buying someone one as a gift is even more insane and pointless. How much cotton candy could you POSSIBLY be eating that makes having your own machine a valid choice?!

2) I like how he's gone from begging for money for, and food deliveries from, the fancier and more expensive places in Spokane to begging for money for Taco Bell. I wonder if on some level it stings him, realizing how far away he is now from being able to go to Clinkerdagger, or Fire Pizza, or Steamplant, or wherever else he obsesses over?
 
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SteveGoatman said:
Two food related things, because it is Lucas after all.

1) Cotton candy is disgusting. I've never met an adult who would want a cotton candy machine in their house and if someone DID I would definitely consider it a red flag. Furthermore, buying someone one as a gift is even more insane and pointless. How much cotton candy could you POSSIBLY be eating that makes having your own machine a valid choice?!

2) I like how he's gone from begging for money for, and food deliveries from, the fancier and more expensive places in Spokane to begging for money for Taco Bell. I wonder if on some level it stings him, realizing how far away he is now from being able to go to Clinkerdagger, or Fire Pizza, or Steamplant, or wherever else he obsesses over?
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Goatman, I will disagree on Cotton Candy being disgusting. I think it is plenty good. However, it is not something I should or would want to eat regularly to the point where I can make it at home. A fat diabetic cow like Lucas definitely should not have something like that. But Lucas believes he is plenty healthy.

Lucas I am sure is bummed he can't stuff his face at fancy restaurants with the tax dollars we give him. With the weather warming up, he may hobble outside.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
Goatman, I will disagree on Cotton Candy being disgusting. I think it is plenty good. However, it is not something I should or would want to eat regularly to the point where I can make it at home. A fat diabetic cow like Lucas definitely should not have something like that. But Lucas believes he is plenty healthy.

Lucas I am sure is bummed he can't stuff his face at fancy restaurants with the tax dollars we give him. With the weather warming up, he may hobble outside.
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As someone who bought a cotton candy maker knowing it'll barely get used, but would be a fun thing for kids in the family:

You save maybe 12% on the cost of cotton candy making it yourself. Buying cotton candy at the corner store by me is $3. 12% savings is $2.64 for the same quantity of cotton candy. That's $0.36 savings. A cheap cotton candy maker is about $50 for one that will last long enough to turn a net savings. That means I need to make 18 corner store tubs of cotton candy to see a net benefit. Who the fuck eats enough cotton candy that you'll actually see a net savings in the foreseeable future?
 
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Pink Freud said:
Eating a random piece of shitty romaine and an unpeeled carrot obviously makes you a vegan. You’re not fooling anyone with your 6 chins and diabetic casts, fatty. You look exactly like the type of person that would guzzle cold, uncooked clam chowder out of a can.
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I can’t stop laughing at what a disgusting fat slob he looks like, yet this is the picture he posts hoping to attract some 18 year old insta-thot to take care of him.

I mean Christ, he even looks like he stinks.
 
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Pink Freud said:
Tell us you’ve never had sex before without telling us you’ve never had sex before. He doesn’t even know what fucking missionary is. Facebook Lucas just keeps giving us plenty good content.
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Jesus. Tell us you spend a lot of time masturbating without telling us you spend a lot of time masturbating.

It never fails. Every time Lucas thinks he has a funny joke or interesting observation to let out in the world, it only makes him look worse.

We all know that missionary position is the most common sex position. If your idea of common sex involves a woman bending her legs behind her head, a feet of acrobatic flexibility most women aren't even able to accomplish, you're showing us the sort of pornography you look at on a regular basis.

Also, the "haha" and the "perhaps"? Lucas can never just say anything, can he? It's either going to be loaded with condescension, or filled with this sort of pseudo intellectual arrogant self-satisfaction at his own deep thoughts. It's kind of hard to explain, but I'm sure most people who follow this thread for any length of time know exactly what I mean. Lucas can't express himself the way other people do, he texts people and post things on social media in this affected intelligent way that just makes him look stupider, like when he uses big words wrong, rather than using small words correctly.

So let's see: we had food, Lucas with a lettuce leaf and a carrot in his mouth, and now we've had sex, yep that checks off Lucas's two contributions to the universe for the day! See you tomorrow buddy! Hope you have a good dinner and a satisfying evening wank, you fat freak!
 
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Pink Freud said:
Tell us you’ve never had sex before without telling us you’ve never had sex before. He doesn’t even know what fucking missionary is. Facebook Lucas just keeps giving us plenty good content.
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Ever look at heart ❤️ and realize it looks like heart :feels:?


Either way, I hope he doesn't crush her feet, which are seemingly underneath in the middle somewhere.
 
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Fatal Walter said:
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Christians, stop being stingy with your women! Lucas 12:15 says something about telomeres. I'm hoping he gets pissed about laugh reacts like Russell Greer.
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He's working his way up into a frenzy here lately being back on Facebook. He's building up to something.
Poop Shoot said:
I can’t stop laughing at what a disgusting fat slob he looks like, yet this is the picture he posts hoping to attract some 18 year old insta-thot to take care of him.

I mean Christ, he even looks like he stinks.
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I'm no zoomer bae,I'm north of 50 and I would avoid Lucas if I were to run into him or someone like him. Theres a few local weirdos in everyone's town and in my town, I give them a wide berth.
Zoomer baes who saw him out and about would avoid him initially unless he did his creepy staring/photo snapping. Then I can see them just leaving. Nothing about him is appealing.
 
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