Yep it's tugboat time. I work in retail and can assure you it has started. It's normal to see people buy garbage like this food and drink and use the EBT.
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
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- Dec 25, 2019
This is the worst reboot of 12 Monkeys
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
Yeah, he drank both. 600 mgs of caffeine is 200 mgs over the recommended daily intake threshold.
Also, BANG apparently contains the artificial sweetener sucralose, which has a variety of negative side-effects, including increasing sugar cravings. BANG advertises itself as a workout drink with "super creatine", so I guess Lucas is "looking into" bodybuilding again LOL. Another ingredient in it is apparently metabolized into benzene, a known carcinogen. In fact, BANG is considered one of the most dangerous energy drinks on the market.
And for what, all this risk? Why does Lucas need so much "energy"? He doesn't excercise, work, or have an energetic hobby. Assuming there's any thought to his actions at all, he may be attempting to counteract the heavy sedative effects of his daily antipsychotic cocktail, or perhaps trying to give himself enough energy to re-experience the long manic walks he used to regularly enjoy... in a misguided effort to lose weight? I would imagine there would almost certainly be contraindications between BANG's ingredients and Lucas's daily meds.
Separate from ALL these great reasons to NOT indulge in 600 mgs of caffeine, energy drinks, especially the sugar-free variety, taste like shit. I personally find the extreme jitters and awful lingering taste to be reason enough to never try these trendy beverages... but of course, Lucas has no discernible taste buds or foresight.
He also seems to exclusively make impulse purchases. Whenever he shops, there never seems to be any rhyme or reason to his groceries, just a childish conglomeration of sweet and salty snacks, with especial focus on anything that seems popular or trendy with youth culture... or is mis-percieved as such by Lucas's out-of-touch sensibilities.
I was going to suggest that Mallon should monitor his intake of chemicals vis-a-vis contraindications with his meds, but it's difficult for ordinary people to anticipate his behavior, because Lucas buys and consumes foodstuffs in a uniquely childish and bizarre fashion. Do you think the shelter with the toaster oven anticipated, in their wildest dreams, a homeless patron cooking lobster tails and scallops in their meager appliance intended at most to warm 7-11 burritos? Of course not, because no one else would ever do this. And yet Lucas did, and they had to create new rules and signage concerning his selfish monopolizing of the toaster oven, both to prevent him from playing chef as well as attempting to minimize the damage he did to the appliance by over-broiling everything he cooked until the shelter's smoke alarm was sounding regularly.
Mallon may have to create new "Lucas Rules" in the future as well, if this sort of over-caffeination continues. Of course, no such rules are already in existence, because no one would expect a mentally-ill adult to gamble with his health through this indulgence in stimulants alongside their daily psychoactive medications.
TL;DR Lucas is playing with fire by combining his antipsychotics with this manner and amount of stimulants. He's asking for trouble, but a manic Lucas may produce some entertainment for us, at the very least.
He is such a freak lmao. Also no Lucas, you’re not a real man, so no “real men” don’t only watch cooking shows. Moron.
Another side effect of excessive sucralose is diarrhea. Yeah. Remember the sugar free Gummy Bears that made your ass explode?
Just what our boy needs on his walks around the hood, shitty pants.
He hit the donations bins so now he has a ton of shirts and is ready to get himself a job.
ETA:
He wants the caffeine high:
ETA:
He wants the caffeine high:
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- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Lucas has stirred from torpor. Spring always promises exciting new developments in wernology. This spring is going to be all about "baseball cappers" and "age gappers." It delights me to no end that Lucas referred to his hated rivals as "baseball cappers."
Huge Fungus
kiwifarms.net
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- Jun 2, 2021
All this incessant foodposting has made me think about the many similarities between Lucas and Tarrare.
For those who don't know, Tarrare was an 18th-century Frenchman who became famous for his enormous appetite, which still baffles doctors to this day. He smelled indescribably terrible, could eat a meal intended for 15 people in one sitting, and had a big, disgusting mouth that could hold 12 eggs in it. He was known for being an uncaring and stupid person, and often ate whole live animals for show.
When the scientists of Tarrare's time discovered him, as a freak exhibit, they attempted to cure him; but no treatment worked, because he would sneak off to devour offal and dead animals out of the gutters and trash bins of Paris, as well as dead bodies from the scientist's morgue. After discovering that he had most likely eaten a living two year old child, Tarrare was ejected from their care, and spent the next 4 years homeless (and terrifyingly unaccounted for), before finally dying of hobo tuberculosis that made him shit continuously for days.
Mister Tarrare seems like a man after Lucas's grease-clogged heart, right down to the child predation and being impossible to keep under medical supervision. Both were also profoundly disgusting bums, who would scavenge anything and everything like dogs just to stuff their gullet. I'm quite positive Lucas's bad taste knows no bounds; he could eat a live salamander, roadkill marmot corpse, or scraps from Ming Wah's dumpster, and still put out a video where he struts around and moos about how delicious his food is, BIGOT PEASANTS!
For those who don't know, Tarrare was an 18th-century Frenchman who became famous for his enormous appetite, which still baffles doctors to this day. He smelled indescribably terrible, could eat a meal intended for 15 people in one sitting, and had a big, disgusting mouth that could hold 12 eggs in it. He was known for being an uncaring and stupid person, and often ate whole live animals for show.
When the scientists of Tarrare's time discovered him, as a freak exhibit, they attempted to cure him; but no treatment worked, because he would sneak off to devour offal and dead animals out of the gutters and trash bins of Paris, as well as dead bodies from the scientist's morgue. After discovering that he had most likely eaten a living two year old child, Tarrare was ejected from their care, and spent the next 4 years homeless (and terrifyingly unaccounted for), before finally dying of hobo tuberculosis that made him shit continuously for days.
Mister Tarrare seems like a man after Lucas's grease-clogged heart, right down to the child predation and being impossible to keep under medical supervision. Both were also profoundly disgusting bums, who would scavenge anything and everything like dogs just to stuff their gullet. I'm quite positive Lucas's bad taste knows no bounds; he could eat a live salamander, roadkill marmot corpse, or scraps from Ming Wah's dumpster, and still put out a video where he struts around and moos about how delicious his food is, BIGOT PEASANTS!
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- Dec 27, 2015
bit of o/t chemistry sperging, but this ingredient (benzoic acid) can only become benzene if you have an iron or cobalt salt acting as a catalyst
to turn benzoic acid into benzene without a catalyst you'd have to rip a molecule of carbon dioxide off it, and it's very stable as it is; any chemical powerful enough to do the job unassisted would likely not be air- or water-stable, never mind food-safe
Stinkyboy
kiwifarms.net
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- May 22, 2021
I’m honestly surprised his teeth are strong enough to eat corn nurts.
And, AGAIN with mentioning ranch! What is his obsession? Bloody disgusting dressing for fatties who like fat.
-eta-
Tugboats usually go out a little before the first, especially if it’s close to a weekend. Can’t have all the crazies freaking out about making rent on time.
- Joined
- May 16, 2021
You may be giving more credit to his thought process than is due. Personally I think he SHOULD get into bodybuilding. He eats 5 times a day and then sits on his ass the rest of the day. Not that Mallon's food is ideal for gaining muscle quickly, but good enough. He claims he's always walking in an effort to lose weight, which is so Lucas because in terms of exercise it's basically the least effort one you can do. People who want to lose weight seem to think cardio is the way to go and it just isn't ideal in the long run. If you're a fat fuck like Lucas you need to gain lean muscle mass and maintain it so your metabolism is burning more calories even when you're not exercising. The cardio route isn't ideal because your metabolism eventually becomes accustomed to your new regular energy expenditures and eventually your progress will plateau and decline.
TL/DR: If Lucas really wanted to commit to losing weight he needs to gain muscle instead of just walking, but we all know that would require more effort and commitment than he would ever put toward self improvement. Or anything really.
There are different dates depending on the type of check the person gets (SS- SSDI- SSI -or some other type of check). Lucas gets SSI-Supplemental Security Income. It is always scheduled for the 1st of the month unless the 1st falls on a weekend(Saturday or Sunday). In the case when the 1st falls on a weekend day the SSI comes in the Friday before that weekend.
ETA:
Note the tan circle on the 1st of each mo. It denotes the SSI payment date.
Also note May 1st falls on a Sunday. May's SSI check will come in the Friday before - on April 29th.
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
Its slightly disturbing that I was eating the same type of corn nuts as I was reading through the posts and saw this. Of course he got the extra large pack of them. I'm not a fan of that flavor tbh, tastes like a mexican ash tray
That said he's going to down both of those energy drinks before the day is over, which even a healthy person really isn't supposed to do and there are usually warnings on the cans about it, after those kids had heart attacks and such from getting stupid with it. The best part is how he's including speed stick with his snacks, considering his history of recording himself trying to eat the last speed stick he took a picture of. Its an odd thing to include when you take a picture of food. That said, he's clearly doing so to 'prove' he's using deodorant, like he did with taking pics of showers after people pointed out he wasn't showering. Somebody must have complained that he smelled at mallon place or he wouldn't spend his money on that
and of course lucas is the weird kid who eats peoples chapstick. That doesn't surprise me one bit. He's exactly the kind person i'd have expected that from as a kid. On that note now i'm having horrifying mental images of lucas stealing his nieces deodorant so he can sniff and eat it as well. Can you imagine if his parents or hers caught him doing that
Also doesn't surprise me lucas considers two energy drinks, a bag of corn nuts and some speedstick a 'breakfast of champions' either and of course he outright says 'you don't know what you're talking about if you don't agree with me' I can't imagine why he doesn't have a zoomer bae when he says outright stupid and narcissistic things like that to people. Ranch has lost its zing? Maybe try not dumping as much as you can over everything you eat whenever you have the chance then
Just wait until lucas starts buying those candy popeye cigarettes to impress the zoomers. I mean they were popular with the age group he wants to diddle.....in the 80s....which somehow sounds exactly like something lucas would tryGleamingTheQ-Bert said:
On that note, lucas is such an idiot that the nurse at mallon place could put him on blood pressure meds then tell him he can't have grapefruit juice cause of how it interacts with his meds and his swiss cheese brain would take that as 'I can eat grapefruit candy and carbonated grapefruit drinks cause thats technically not 'juice' and giving himself a heart attack. I suspect trying to tell him he can't have particular things for similar reasons would either cause the same reaction or make him get ignorant and pissy about it for telling him what he can and can't eat and he'd go out of his way to spite the nurse by eating whatever he was told not toGleamingTheQ-Bert said:
'I factually would enjoy my walks more on caffeine' is such a weird thing to say. Its like something an alien would say when trying to fit in with humans and not quite understanding how. That said, it sounds exactly like he is trying to counteract the effects of the meds he is onmothman96 said:
Considering lucas has the beetus and has for some time, I wonder if he has polyphagia. It would explain a few things about his constant eating
Polyphagia - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
The Creep doing "damage control". He is saying he "pretended" to lick the deodorant in that video he posted.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
The moooo cow is back on the employment thing again. I do not think a job is in the cards for him. He would be a terrible employee. I am not sure he realizes how this would effect his re-tard bux. 
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
'Pretended to'
He literally filmed himself licking it repeatedly. It wasn't ambiguous in the slightest. Lucas is such a manipulative liar and he likely thinks pulling his videos makes it impossible to prove he did it, despite the fact there are other copies of it uploaded, including to this thread
He is looking for a good, quiet place to work is he. In his "I got a ton of nice button up shirts etc" he wanted job ideas. Yea, even though he gave the suggestion of temp agencies for factory work a "like", no way does he want a job that requires him to put in physical effort like factory work. The lots of hours, nope that's not for the lazy POS either.
Stinkyboy
kiwifarms.net
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- May 22, 2021
They probably have him on seroquel to level out his moods/deal with his rampant pschosis, which came to mind when grapefruit was mentioned.
Also a big no-no, due to re-uptake and how the heart deals with it.
He definitely doesn’t pay attention to medication warnings.
Also a big no-no, due to re-uptake and how the heart deals with it.
He definitely doesn’t pay attention to medication warnings.
Another fool (maybe the same one) paid to doordash the Creep more food. Carne Asada fries.
He makes it sound like out of the blue someone sends him food when he has been begging for it daily.
He makes it sound like out of the blue someone sends him food when he has been begging for it daily.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
I have to wonder whether whoever is doing that is doing it specifically to be malicious and get lucas to stuff himself like a turkey so his health deteriorates faster. After all when he finishes that you just know he waddles back to mallons dining room and eats everything he can there