Telomere Savalas
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- Jul 8, 2020
Lucas after too many energy drinks? "I need Zoomer bunghole"
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
WonderWino
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- Dec 17, 2019
Considering how many energy drinks he's had in the last couple days, combined with bags of corn nuts, pumpkin seeds, a pizza and whatever garbage mallon place gives him, his room must fucking reek right now with all the time he must have spent shitting his ass off
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
I know some diabetics use energy drinks to try and counter the sleepiness from their fucked up sugar levels.
He gets the 70 the 1st of each month.
The Creep will fart day and night. Probably part of the reason he was moved out of his old room. The roommate likely could no longer stand the Creeps fart stench filling the room and the crying/acting out because he has no zoomer girlfriend.
ManfromtheMoon
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- Nov 21, 2021
He cried on a podcast
developments: it seems that his next saga in life is about to start (Dance of the Telomores, A Dream of Spring)
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2020
The mental image of Lucas spending all night simultaneously crying and farting cracks me up
If you need an obese insane bumcel with DD moobs ,rolls of fat, a tiny stub of a dick, bald, rotting feet, farts up a storm, dysfunctional, incompetent, addicted to eating and pees/shits his pants. Hurry and head on over to the nursing home called Mallon Place. Ask for Lucas Werner.
WonderWino
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- Dec 17, 2019
Its weird that he went out of his way to say how he's definitely not addicted to meth, crack or heroin. Thats the kind of shit people do when they are addicted to something.....which lucas is, only his addiction is food. He could never afford any of those three. But he does self medicate with pot any time he can get his obese sausage fingers on it. Thats borderline addictive behavior in itself
and lucas isn't fat because he knows what to eat, hes fat because he eats everything in sight. he'd cover frozen shrimp in sprite and ranch dressing and microwave it if he had them
Kind of interesting how he says 'can probably cook' as well. He used to claim he was such a great cook. Maybe he finally noticed people didn't respond well to his toasterbortions
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- Jun 9, 2016
heroin, sure, but meth is only slightly more expensive than marijuana (depending on the exact method of production and if you don't care much about the quality, only that it's effective; and if the marijuana is from a decent cultivar which can command a premium). crack can also be quite cheap since unlike actual cocaine it's largely unprocessed and much of the costs involved are in transportation and not manufacturing (cocaine and meth actually requires a pharmaceutical laboratory and experienced chemists to manufacture safely and with repeatable high quality). i strongly doubt Lucas has the skill or opportunity to acquire anything else but marijuana, and if offered other drugs would likely demur from a combination of fear and ego.
Pump Meat
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- Jan 12, 2020
ManfromtheMoon
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- Nov 21, 2021
I might be wrong, but if I remember correctly during the Cyril info dump. Myrna hates drugs, she hates it to the point where Lucas (a guy that calls his mom a bitch and tells her she's gonna die alone, on a regular basis) is afraid of getting caught. Lets not forget she drove Cyril out ( Lucas' only friend) after finding out they smoked together. I feel his aversion to drugs is him being too much of a pussy to face authority (Myrna & the cops)
We're getting into speculation territory on this one: I do feel Myrna influenced Lucas' taste in women, most notably the submissive-self sufficient types. Lucas wants someone that does whatever he wants without question and also being able take verbal abuses like being called a bitch or a cunt (just like how he treated his mom). He also wants a woman that provides for his everyday needs. (just like how he was coddled)
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- Jul 21, 2015
Definitely agree.
Lucas understands about as much re: drugs as he does concerning female anatomy. Just like "clit" seems to mean something to be penetrated in Lucas's understanding, (he seems to think the word is just another crude synonym for vagina) so too do meth, coke, and heroin just mean "things that bad people do which I abstain from and am thusly superior".
I don't doubt he's been AROUND hard drug use given his periods of homelessness and socialization with Isaac-type druggy street kids, but he has an instinctive fear of authority, as you said, and has definitely added "hard drugs" to his "BAD" list, even going so far as to say multiple times that the "average christian" was a meth user.
And Lucas absolutely used his oedipal fixation on his mom's appearance and ability to soothe him and "make it all alright" as his model for a romantic partner. In this regard, it's difficult to distinguish exactly how much he based his feminine ideal on his mother specifically, separate from his other female family members.
As anyone who follows this thread knows, Lucas has an "odd" way of hyper-focusing on the appearance of his, for example, nieces, and sees nothing strange about describing their looks in a manner most would reserve for a lover, using words like "gorgeous" so much in that context that it's almost become a mini-meme, "gorgeous nieces", alongside "girls with the thick thighs", "full blush face", etc. Lucas is in fact SO unaware of how creepy this predilection is that he sees nothing wrong with describing his nieces this way in conversation with women he's just met, like Mrs. Parker or during the Geek Room interviews.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
I am surprised Lucas hasn't been going to the Golden Corral. I looked on Google and there is a location in Spokane. Not that the food at Golden Corral is all that great, it's not bad, pretty average. But it is all you can eat and they have lots to choose from. Lucas could even start at the dessert station. The price is not a ton, plus you don't generally have to tip, cause it is self service.
Lucas does prefer the fancy and expensive trendy restaurants to try to show off, but he will also enjoy McDonald's or Taco Bell. Lucas would do some serious damage at a buffet or at the Olive Garden's all you can eat pasta bowl. Definitely would make his tard bux go further. If he does this, I hope we get pictures and videos.
Lucas does prefer the fancy and expensive trendy restaurants to try to show off, but he will also enjoy McDonald's or Taco Bell. Lucas would do some serious damage at a buffet or at the Olive Garden's all you can eat pasta bowl. Definitely would make his tard bux go further. If he does this, I hope we get pictures and videos.
I do not believe Myrna is the submissive type. To me she comes across just as much a narcissist as her deranged son. She's the one that pulls the strings. It was an affront to her that her little boy Lucas, was not invited to the little girls party that she talked to the teacher to complain. How dare the little girl not invite Lucas when he was so in love with her. He should have been the 1st on the invite list. The little girl was just being mean to Lucas. She coddled Lucas, raise him to believe nothing is ever his fault and it backfired on her. The time came when she could no longer handle his abusive behavior and he out for society to deal with.
She'll turn a blind eye/deaf ear to Lucas calling her a bitch/whore/etc., that he is a predator, his despicable behavior as long as he stays far away from her. She "paints" him as a just struggling with mental illness. I'd say this is more for herself. She wants to be known as the "long suffering" mother of a mentally ill man and not as the mother of an abusive predatory POS who has made himself infamous.
Lucas has always had a "taste" for young girls and part of that attraction is he thinks he'll be able to "mold" her into what he wants her to be. Like you said, she does whatever he wants, whatever he wants sexually, accepts his abusive behavior and provides for him.
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- Jan 2, 2021
"You need a bigger guy, one who's not addicted to crack, meth or heroin."
Considering that he's a diabetic in rapidly declining health who also has an eating disorder, he might as well be a crackhead. He has about as much regard for his own health in terms of putting stuff in his body that's clearly bad for it. We've seen him inhale a whole tube of cookie dough after eating five times that day prior, then get excited about the prospect of someone Doordashing him food... while he's in the middle of a health scare trying to recover from diabetic foot ulcers. That's addict behavior.
Considering that he's a diabetic in rapidly declining health who also has an eating disorder, he might as well be a crackhead. He has about as much regard for his own health in terms of putting stuff in his body that's clearly bad for it. We've seen him inhale a whole tube of cookie dough after eating five times that day prior, then get excited about the prospect of someone Doordashing him food... while he's in the middle of a health scare trying to recover from diabetic foot ulcers. That's addict behavior.
Todd Weiss
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- Jun 15, 2019
A buffet gift card would be right up his alley. It'd be like Mallon with unlimited pancakes and a chocolate fountain. The food donator could, in theory, offer up a paid trip on the condition he film it..
Is he saying his tiny stub of dick still makes him plenty good.
Fatal Walter
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- Oct 23, 2019
Yeah, that's particularly nonsensical, even for Lucas. I guess it's based on things he saw today and you'd have to have seen them somehow as prerequisites for it to make any sense. Pretty next level "comedy" there.
He's gotten fatter and smellier.