This is pretty removed from what we’ve been talking about lately, but I saw this tweet in a meme gallery today and it describes Lucas to a T when it comes to driving/cars lmao
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
This is pretty removed from what we’ve been talking about lately, but I saw this tweet in a meme gallery today and it describes Lucas to a T when it comes to driving/cars lmao
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- Apr 28, 2015
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
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- Oct 23, 2019
"On January 7, 1998 I witnessed a case, which was declared a mis-trial due to an to emergency. The re-trial shall be sometime this April, 1999.
The case is entitled:
State of Washington vs. Lucas Werner. Mr. Werner's charges are as follows:
1- Possesion of marijuana
2- Possesion of paraphenalia
3- Driving Under the Influence of Marijuana"
He got a DUI for driving stoned a very long time ago. Somehow.
The case is entitled:
State of Washington vs. Lucas Werner. Mr. Werner's charges are as follows:
1- Possesion of marijuana
2- Possesion of paraphenalia
3- Driving Under the Influence of Marijuana"
He got a DUI for driving stoned a very long time ago. Somehow.
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- Dec 31, 2018
Wasn't it one of, if not the very first, weed DUIs in America?
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- Aug 9, 2020
His health is definitely getting measurably worse on a regular basis, but I almost wouldn't put it past him to make a full recovery somehow and cling to life at least a few more years. Every time something new happens to him like developing big festering infectious MRSA sores, getting covid as a beetus deathfat, sleeping rough in the winter, the foot ulcer, I think oh shit this is probably gonna finally finish him off lol but he always seems to pull through. It would be too easy on the tax payers if he croaked. Watch him somehow outlive us all and have the last laugh. Getting Clinkerdagger steaks Door Dashed to a hospital bed he's been in for years as some reluctant teenage CNA prepares to give him a sponge bath. Refreshing the tab on his Kiwifarms page daily even though nobody's posted in a decade. "You flatbill republican wigger clones doubted my hyper long telomeres but who's laughing now. "
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- Apr 28, 2015
It's how the world works. Cockroaches like him somehow keep on living. But some ridiculously talented doctor will die from some random small thing that shouldn't have been a concern.
He also is afraid to drive since he drove his dad’s truck INTO A FIRE. When he was sober. He could probably legally get a license again at this point in life but he would never pass the test, couldn’t afford to buy or maintain a car, and is afraid of driving lmao.
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2016
i'd still like to know the circumstances of that. from earlier in the thread it was mentioned almost in passing by his brother in a post that Lucas was doing something at a ranch or corral and caught a truck on fire, then Lucas somewhat confirmed that he had driven a truck into a bonfire. however the details aren't present regarding if he was sober, it was an accident, a new driver, had the truck in reverse and not drive, et c. there was a video where he mentioned wanting to "be a firefighter type" which might imply the incident was deliberate.
Only Werner would drive INTO a fire. I can only imagine how pissed King Roy was.
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
IIRC, he said (so take it with a grain of salt) that he was trying to drive "as close to the fire as possible without actually hitting it", making it sound like a stunt gone wrong, or that he was showing off for someone, possibly a girl... though he didn't say this.
He also claimed King Roy "never blamed him for it and never got mad", which is admirable restraint for such a stupidly preventable "accident".
What I'm wondering is, how big was the fire? Was it like a bonfire, and he drove so far into it that there was no saving the car, so he just bailed out? Because I have to say, my innate instincts to save my automobile (and when I was a teenager transportation meant literally everything to me) would have caused me to take a decent amount of risk attempting to save the car. Then again, Lucas is the person who set all of his furniture on fire rather than drag it upstairs after his unsuccessful attempt to sell it in the apartment complex parking lot, so it's crucial to remember his laziness and his complete and utter lack of care for his own and other people's belongings.
He also claimed King Roy "never blamed him for it and never got mad", which is admirable restraint for such a stupidly preventable "accident".
What I'm wondering is, how big was the fire? Was it like a bonfire, and he drove so far into it that there was no saving the car, so he just bailed out? Because I have to say, my innate instincts to save my automobile (and when I was a teenager transportation meant literally everything to me) would have caused me to take a decent amount of risk attempting to save the car. Then again, Lucas is the person who set all of his furniture on fire rather than drag it upstairs after his unsuccessful attempt to sell it in the apartment complex parking lot, so it's crucial to remember his laziness and his complete and utter lack of care for his own and other people's belongings.
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WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
They made a tv movie about it, with dennis franz playing lucas:
Just picture a joint in his mouth while he's driving. Its eerily accurate considering his teen obsession and cat abuse
Wasn't that a deliberate act on his part? I mean thats not really something a person does 'by accident' in a practical wayIceQueen said:
Regardless too bad nobody got that one on video. Lucas would never hear the end of it. That event should be called the bonfire of the telomeres
That said lucas does seem to have a weird history with fire and a predilection for burning things. The vehicle, that incident at his group home where he burned a bunch of his shit that he couldn't sell, occasional rants about burning things down for not getting what he wants in his delusional direct democracy fantasies. Lucas might be one of those speds with a fire fascination
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2015
It's a bit insane he has exercised self control and not burned shit down. He definitely has a fire fixation. Putting all that together screams it. I doubted he was capable of self control at that constant of a level.
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- Jul 24, 2019
If I am remembering right the bonfire incident was him being a drunk and stoned idiot who thought he was showing off to the crowd by intentionally driving through the fire like he was a stunt man or something to that effect. Turns out the fire was so large the truck got stuck or stalled and he had to bail.
I could be wrong on the details but that’s how I remember the story from this thread of which I am too lazy to go back through and find. Regardless of the details I am pretty sure the whole thing was the result of Lucas being an attention seeking, intoxicated retard.
I could be wrong on the details but that’s how I remember the story from this thread of which I am too lazy to go back through and find. Regardless of the details I am pretty sure the whole thing was the result of Lucas being an attention seeking, intoxicated retard.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
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- Dec 17, 2019
That definitely sounds like a lucas move. King roy must have been absolutely pissed at that one. You can bet lucas was never allowed to drive a vehicle again after that....and probably never left alone in one or unsupervised around the keys for one. Can you imagine what everyone must have thought? Psycho lucas driving into a giant bonfire like some kind of batshit mental patient. They probably thought he was trying to blow everybody up by blowing the fuel tank or some shit
and I figured out lucas's ultimate plan with his kidney problems:
1. Fuck his kidneys up
2. Go to hospital
3. Meet middle school asian girl with a tail while waiting on dialysis
4. Use his patented pickup line hi i'm lucas to woo her and when she questions it retort with you have a tail, I have bad kidneys, we met on a rainy day at mental hospital camp and now we can go to the high school prom
5. Skip dialysis cause he found a middle school bae to go to the high school prom with, proceed to die of a renal failure induced coronary a few days before prom after drinking his 5th energy drink of the day because it just wasn't in the cards for him
6. Failing that death, drives her car up to the elk kingdom to show off his totally not duct taped in the trunk asian bae and burns them both alive by driving through king roys weekend bonfire trying to make a grand entrance and impress everyone. Only to get stuck again and be too obese and winded to squeeze out of the seat before the smoke and flames got to him
7 Proceeds to be condemned to wander the elk kingdom as a ghost for all eternity trying to find his asian bae and watching generations of werners sired by his brothers rule the elk kingdom and have bonfires and parties of their own, never knowing their ancestor lucas haunts the deep woods of the elk kingdom....aside from the occasional whiff of unwashed lucas that is occasionally encountered but mistaken for a decaying deer or a sasquatch
ManfromtheMoon
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- Nov 21, 2021
Lucas driving through fire, shit now i can't look at the batman-penguin chase scene the same way again
WonderWino
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- Dec 17, 2019
Great, now I have the image of lucas waddling around being chased by batman while wearing a monocle and top hat, with a cigarette holder in his mouth and a big shit tier joint of skunkweed in it as he waddles around mumbling quack quack quack fucking flatbill batman bigot quack quack quack
cheesycukes
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- Nov 22, 2020
Posted on FB shit posting page with no context
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Stinkyboy
kiwifarms.net
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- May 22, 2021
Too much hair, not fat enough
cheesycukes
kiwifarms.net
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- Nov 22, 2020
Looks like him to me.
Ratty ponytail, skinny arms, saggy man tits, crazy sunken eyes, backpack.
But where is he going? And why does he have a briefcase?
Ratty ponytail, skinny arms, saggy man tits, crazy sunken eyes, backpack.
But where is he going? And why does he have a briefcase?
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2015
Not him. Arms are waaay too muscular, hair cut differently, Lucas doesnt coordinate the color of his covid mask to his outfit. Also, that looks like a line at an airport or bank.