Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Stinkyboy said:
Yea, airport, bus or train station.

I see the similarities, he’s way bigger imo.

-eta-
Given a few seconds thought, this is probably some generic dude at an anime convention
Click to expand...
Agreed. Strangely enough, the thing that looks the most like him and makes me the most uncertain is the eyes, because they look like those familiar old Wern crazy eyes...

Edit: Two more for the "not him" column: that shirt fits better than any one Lucas has ever owned, and the hair looks considerably darker that Lucas's
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, saltwatertaffy, WonderWino and 2 others
cheesycukes said:
Posted on FB shit posting page with no contextView attachment 3589697
Click to expand...
Well shit my theory was right after all

That must be a clone of lucas, grown from the grease stain he rubbed into the wall at his former fartbox. It finally grew into a new, healthier looking wern clone. Though even grease clone wern didn't want to be associated with the lazy hobo werner prime is and was driven to get a job, hence the briefcase. It retained the rat tail, psycho eyes and part of the obesity, but whether it retained his telomere and zoomer bae obsessions remains to be seen
 
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, saltwatertaffy, Fanatical Pragmatist and 3 others
WonderWino said:
Well shit my theory was right after all

That must be a clone of lucas, grown from the grease stain he rubbed into the wall at his former fartbox. It finally grew into a new, healthier looking wern clone. Though even grease clone wern didn't want to be associated with the lazy hobo werner prime is and was driven to get a job, hence the briefcase. It retained the rat tail, psycho eyes and part of the obesity, but whether it retained his telomere and zoomer bae obsessions remains to be seen
Click to expand...
It shows just how bad Lucas looks when this man pictured above can be described as "healthier and better looking".

Like it can be assumed that >99.999% of males are healthier and better looking than Lucas Colby Werner; but even this mimic specimen is basically considered an objectively better looking man than Lucas.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, saltwatertaffy, Snack Cracker and 7 others
To be fair, I wouldn't be it past lucas to trade in his backpack for a briefcase and walk around the streets of spokane with it trying to look important and convince the zoomer baes that he's an older gen x alpha with an important job who should be taken seriously....only to have it filled with pep sticks, candy and attraction signs to post around town, and to panic and get angry the moment a zoomer asks him what he does for a living cause of the briefcase or asks why, if he has an actual job and isn't just nuts or trying to manipulate people, is he wandering the streets in the middle of a week day carrying a briefcase around instead of being at work

Can you imagine lucas waddling into a starbucks unwashed and with hobo rags on, carrying a briefcase full of attraction signs, candy and pep sticks and trying to look important by ordering some expensive hot chocolate

....Even better if somebody recognizes him, reminds him he's banned from starbucks and calls the cops, only to have the cops open his briefcase and start getting suspicious and question why he's walking around with creepy signs ranting about his sperm, little girls and candy. His explanation to the cops for that one would be hilarious and one of those things i'd hope got recorded by a bodycam
 
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Autistic
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, saltwatertaffy, Yellow Sink Disease and 6 others
WonderWino said:
To be fair, I wouldn't be it past lucas to trade in his backpack for a briefcase and walk around the streets of spokane with it trying to look important and convince the zoomer baes that he's an older gen x alpha with an important job who should be taken seriously....only to have it filled with pep sticks, candy and attraction signs to post around town, and to panic and get angry the moment a zoomer asks him what he does for a living cause of the briefcase or asks why, if he has an actual job and isn't just nuts or trying to manipulate people, is he wandering the streets in the middle of a week day carrying a briefcase around instead of being at work

Can you imagine lucas waddling into a starbucks unwashed and with hobo rags on, carrying a briefcase full of attraction signs, candy and pep sticks and trying to look important by ordering some expensive hot chocolate

....Even better if somebody recognizes him, reminds him he's banned from starbucks and calls the cops, only to have the cops open his briefcase and start getting suspicious and question why he's walking around with creepy signs ranting about his sperm, little girls and candy. His explanation to the cops for that one would be hilarious and one of those things i'd hope got recorded by a bodycam
Click to expand...

He's going to now.
 
  • Like
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, saltwatertaffy, Yellow Sink Disease and 1 other person
20220813_215448.jpg

Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Lunacy
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, The Luigi Player, saltwatertaffy and 18 others
Gas Station Boner Pills said:
View attachment 3597766
Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
Click to expand...
The complete lack of even the slightest bit of self-awareness is one of the most entertaining things about Lucas. That narcissism really makes him the cow we all know and want to see lose a foot.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, saltwatertaffy, Krathnami and 8 others
Gas Station Boner Pills said:
View attachment 3597766
Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
Click to expand...
I guess Lucas is improving, because he's always seemed like a clueless, unimportant dumbass to me!
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Trainwreck and ManfromtheMoon
Gas Station Boner Pills said:
View attachment 3597766
Lucas casually reposts this like there isn't countless videos of him on the internet going immensely out of his way to appear as some big brain misunderstood philosopher of the ages. A selfless champion leading humanity away from the evils of christianity and into the promise land of age-gap breeding and hyper-long telomeres. That post is literally the polar opposite of his personality lmao.
Click to expand...
Not to mention that post doubles as him trying to convince people he's not an idiot and a pseudo intellectual nutjob who goes on looney rants about things he has no understanding of.....no he's just appearing to be clueless and stupid and doesn't want to seem knowledgeable to others

Its totally all intentional, just like he doesn't scream at cars, record himself going on psychotic rants and go on abusive tirades he's totally just a comedian

Typical lucas being a narcissistic manipulative pos as usual
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: spiritofamermaid, pr3nt177, Fanatical Pragmatist and 3 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back