Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

They don't overthink it. They come up with an m.o. that works and stick with it.

He had common sense, and actively sought to prevent capture. He didn't chew gum or smoke, but he left those at crime scenes, he beat a polygraph, he once had a impromptu interrogation, and he had been clawed by a victim the night prior. He leaned against his arm against the fence to hide it. After the cop left, he poured battery acid on it to hide it, changed his truck tires when he realized he had left tracks. Funnily enough, I wasn't really into true crime, after I separated from my then wife on Lewis, I started dating. We drove around one day and she started pointing out all of his dump sites, specifically. I didn't stay in the relationship very long. Hit me with the off topics and power levels gents.
 
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Serial killer lucas, he's a pyrophile, a sadist, has a fisting fetish, food fetish, abusive, violent, is a bipolar-schizophrenic, retarded and incompetent.... also a pedophile

If he ever did become a serial killer it would be a Junko Furata level ordeal for the victim or victims
With his luck, any woman he attempted to murder would punch him in the dick and make him puke before knocking him out. He can't even cross the room without panting in his current condition.
 
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Why can't Lucas just construct some device to blow it out of the sky? That should be an easy feat for someone who allegedly created a time travel equation. "Check with NASA!"
 
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Why can't Lucas just construct some device to blow it out of the sky? That should be an easy feat for someone who allegedly created a time travel equation. "Check with NASA!"
No worries, a hundred years from now someone will discover his time travel equation on an old okcupid account archive, build a radio to use it and message mid 2010s era lucas with all the information needed to build a device to destroy it.

Thats the good news. The bad news? Mid 2010s lucas will assume its the voices on the wind providing him with scientific info to make him look super smart to the world, and he'll rant about it all over the internet, completely ignored until he feels he must take matters into his own hands and goes on an insane rant about the asteroid hitting the earth and killing everyone down at the bus station, leading to everyone thinking he's having another psychotic episode, getting him tossed back in eastern state and drugged to the gills to shut up about it

So nobody listens to him and the asteroid kills us all a century from now, with the scientist that sent the message back in time concluding it just wasn't in the cards for his plan to save humanity
 
"Its okay to want to rape her because she's a bigot" - Lucas, probably

Rape doesn't exist in his vocabulary, it's just sex. Like trying to blackmail people at his fart box complex into giving him a girl, and shit like this.
 
Rape doesn't exist in his vocabulary, it's just sex. Like trying to blackmail people at his fart box complex into giving him a girl, and shit like this.
He'll take her to dinner at the Steam Plant first. If she agrees to that she needs to have sex with him. That is how his cow brain works.
 
Lucas’s conspicuous absence lately has me wondering if he is dealing with serious health issues again. He throws out a stale take or two on his SM without much follow up to signal that ‘it’s all good’ while probably panicking in secret about his health.

This would be a good time for those Outcast Owl guys to do a phone call check in interview and find out what the story is.
 
Lucas’s conspicuous absence lately has me wondering if he is dealing with serious health issues again. He throws out a stale take or two on his SM without much follow up to signal that ‘it’s all good’ while probably panicking in secret about his health.

This would be a good time for those Outcast Owl guys to do a phone call check in interview and find out what the story is.
It wouldn't be surprising if this was the case. Whenever something bad happens to lucas he always tries to downplay it in a way that he thinks makes people think it never happened or that it was somehow his choice if he can't explain it away entirely. Its weird he'd suddenly go radio silent unless there was a good reason for it. Considering he went from 'i've got serious kidney problems and i'm about to be put on dialysis' to 'I totally don't need dialysis or any treatment after all' to sudden radio silence, i'm starting to think it was yet another bs attempt to make people think the dialysis stuff was bs after he finally got it in his head how serious it is. This silence could very easily be a result of him spending much of his time at the hospital in dialysis and recovery and not being able to do anything right now. It fits with the kidney stuff, his recent history and how he behaves in situations like that

Also wouldn't be surprised to find out he left of his own accord thinking he would be fine and proceeded to have a repeat of what happened in the uber and store and ended up with another ambulance ride to the hospital shortly after, leading to the above scenario happening anyway. Lucas seems to legit think he's largely invincible so long as he does his walks to 'exercise' if he gets too fat and that doctors will totally fix him up if anything happens cause he 'has free health care.' I'm not sure he entirely understands that declining health as people age is a thing, that its progressive and people don't just go from healthy and able to bounce back to sick senior in a nursing home when they hit 80 or whatever. He probably convinced himself that because nothing too serious happened to him up to this point health wise that he was healthy and would stay that way, cause he totally lost 200 pounds walking around the streets. After all he does seem to treat that as some kind of evidence of a cure all kind of thing that justifies him being in fit enough shape to deserve a zoomer bae model

Like you said, a call from the outcast owls would give a pretty good indication of whats going on
 
Lucas’s conspicuous absence lately has me wondering if he is dealing with serious health issues again. He throws out a stale take or two on his SM without much follow up to signal that ‘it’s all good’ while probably panicking in secret about his health.

This would be a good time for those Outcast Owl guys to do a phone call check in interview and find out what the story is.
Lucas recently changed his Youtube channel name to The Wern, so he's probably paranoid of jobs or whoever finding out who he really is.

Whatever, I'm just sad my formerly favorite lolcow is now basically dead other than the odd funny Facebook post.
 
The more I listen to him, the more I'm surprised the Tucker Carlson crowd hasn't featured him. Apart from being white and looking like their demographic, he's literally a right winger's wet dream - virtue signaling pedophile who actively tries to normalize sexual deviancy, not only a welfare queen but an entitled one who makes no effort to better himself, and a mindless far left supporter without a brain cell of thought behind it.

Would honestly be hilarious the next time there's welfare fight in Congress and when the AOC crowd starts ranting about how you can't survive off EBT (a legit concern for families), someone pulls up a playlist of Wern cooking lobster tail and scallops in a shelter toaster oven to shut her up.

Yeah, except the optics of giving a severely mentally Ill man who literally cannot be held responsible for his own finances right now a platform to sperg on would scare off even the most depraved network executives.

It’s like giving a fucking Eyewitness local news interview to any random mentally ill vagrant: you could do it, but no one who you want to watch will care and the people who do care will give you a LOT of shit.
 
Dumb ass Facebook posts. His content has been awful lately. Gen Z protests things you would protest, Lucas? Like when you marched with Black Lives Matter? And you were viciously tear gassed?

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Lucas's idea of an entire city made out of hemp is likely alot like this, except with everything made out of weed he can smoke instead of actual hemp. Lucas has shown several times that he doesn't seem to quite grasp theres a difference, even arguing with his brother at least once about it

I can see it now - lucas waddling around a city made entirely of weed, tearing off pieces of buildings to stuff in his pipe, getting stoned out of his mind and puking all over the place while becoming increasingly psychotic and screaming in the streets at passing cars....until cops show up, arrest him for causing a public disturbance and throw him into a cell also made out of weed, where they find his twitching corpse in the morning, covered in his own vomit with the craziest open, glassy eyes imaginable, having continued to smoke pieces of the cell until he went completely batshit and worked himself up to the point he had a heart attack

and lucas going on about how he misses ramen is a weird thing to do considering he complains he was starving to death being forced to live on it almost entirely in the late 90s. Lucas probably just wants something that cheap so he can stuff himself to the gills with it like the pig he is

and the narcissism it takes to rant about the rat race when he hasn't worked himself since the fucking 90s and gets free money from the government he uses to further his attempts at grooming children is mind boggling
 
Lucas has gone quiet about his so called "job search". He had to get that all important resume and was working with an employment specialist and all. He went to one interview and claimed it went plenty good. Now we are not hearing about the job. Still no word on his diabetic shoes and his new glasses. So many unanswered questions of his antics and his recent hospital stay. Any catfish in the pond now?
 
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