Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Kingfisher9000]

HOW could you crush your dog, and then write "Larry and I are crushed"? Also, the sympathy with which she discusses the dog sounds INCREDIBLY similar to the way she discusses Lucas as a child. It sounds like faux-sympathy, faux-concern. She may be sincere, but she radiates insincerity.

I think that’s just the nature of boomer-posting. It’s always gonna come off as performative when somebody’s blasting “rip in peace little girl, your with the angles now ” on social media because it is performative. That’s not to say she’s not legitimately upset, but boomers on social media love any excuse to post big announcements like they’re celebrities doing a press release.

Her story is weird as fuck though. The vet told her to take the dog home, but then the vet called hours later to tell her the dog had died?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I think that’s just the nature of boomer-posting. It’s always gonna come off as performative when somebody’s blasting “rip in peace little girl, your with the angles now ” on social media because it is performative. That’s not to say she’s not legitimately upset, but boomers on social media love any excuse to post big announcements like they’re celebrities doing a press release.

Her story is weird as fuck though. The vet told her to take the dog home, but then the vet called hours later to tell her the dog had died?

I think you're 100% right about it being the nature of Boomer posting; I thought about this, and part of my disconnect with her story is just the fact that I personally never feel the need to share family tragedies online, and don't really understand why people do it. I'm sure people get something out of it, but it always seems performative to me, and I don't like the idea of sharing a death in the family with some random stranger or business account who happened to add my social media. It just seems too intimate and personal to share grief in the same place where you post vacation pictures, recipes, and Holiday greetings. I'm probably just out of touch with the modern usage of social media, in fact I know that I am. So in all fairness, part of the insincerity is probably my general distaste for this sort of online tragedy posting in general. Good point!

 

[Twrx]

I think you're 100% right about it being the nature of Boomer posting; I thought about this, and part of my disconnect with her story is just the fact that I personally never feel the need to share family tragedies online, and don't really understand why people do it. I'm sure people get something out of it, but it always seems performative to me, and I don't like the idea of sharing a death in the family with some random stranger or business account who happened to add my social media. It just seems too intimate and personal to share grief in the same place where you post vacation pictures, recipes, and Holiday greetings. I'm probably just out of touch with the modern usage of social media, in fact I know that I am. So in all fairness, part of the insincerity is probably my general distaste for this sort of online tragedy posting in general. Good point!

It would be different if it was for the greater good and not self serving. Dad's field doesn't do media. We go against the grain and talk about his suicide publicly in every way we can, solely because it saves lives of people in his community. If the concept of lol cows had been around much longer, someone like her would have been the proto lol cow, instead of opl.

 

[WhiskerBiscuit]

Lucas reports his release was from his creatinine levels going back to normal.



Unfortunately, according to a SOFALAW post that’s still a bad sign.

 

[Todd Weiss]

Lucas reports his release was from his creatinine levels going back to normal.

View attachment 3676574

Unfortunately, according to a SOFALAW post that’s still a bad sign.
View attachment 3676578

They can get your values back within normal range, but that's prolonging the inevitable. This is our final season and it ends with a lethal blood infection/stroke/heart attack. Someone DoorDash him another roll of Toll House dough. Spokane's adolescent population will rest easier without him out of the picture.

 

[PoopyFarts]

It's sad... I gotta find a new cow I suppose. I used to follow the Christory, but the prison saga has killed that, and now Lucas has basically killed himself.

 

[Saturnine]

Ah yes, convenience store microwaveable meals. Good to see Lucas is being more health conscious after that health scare.

 

[TurdFondler]

Aren't those usually crazy expensive at convenience stores compared to at the grocery store? Good use of money as usual. Must be really in poor shape if he can't blow his tugboat on fancy bullshit.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

View attachment 3680151
Ah yes, convenience store microwaveable meals. Good to see Lucas is being more health conscious after that health scare.

"Gaining back strength" he says, as if he's been starved into ill health.

It's so telling how he equates food with strength, when in reality it would be the best thing for his health and strength to fast for a little while

 

[Stinkyboy]

convenience store food, he has no kitchen

plus full of salts, fats and empty carbs

bye, Wern

 

[Krathnami]

I, like every farmer, would love nothing more than for Lukey to go out with a bang. One last insane public meltdown. It looks more and more, however, like that isn’t in the cards. One day, he’ll just stop posting, and it’ll be awhile until someone uncovers that he has passed. I’ll forever be mad at him for not giving us the series finale we deserved.

 

[VoidFace]

I, like every farmer, would love nothing more than for Lukey to go out with a bang. One last insane public meltdown. It looks more and more, however, like that isn’t in the cards. One day, he’ll just stop posting, and it’ll be awhile until someone uncovers that he has passed. I’ll forever be mad at him for not giving us the series finale we deserved.

Agreed. This does beg the question, though: what happens when he finally keels over?

I don’t mean the pauper’s grave, lack of obit, boomer post from his mom, etc. I mean what do all of us do (aside from find a new cow). Personally I’m going to buy a brand new flatbill and take a zoomer woman for a prime rib before pouring out some Thai peanut sauce for Dr Luke.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I think our best hope is Lucas lets out a huge blubbering cry that he's finally accepted he'll never get his zoomer bae, which I'm sure he's already been doing privately for some time.

 

[Krathnami]

Agreed. This does beg the question, though: what happens when he finally keels over?

I don’t mean the pauper’s grave, lack of obit, boomer post from his mom, etc. I mean what do all of us do (aside from find a new cow). Personally I’m going to buy a brand new flatbill and take a zoomer woman for a prime rib before pouring out some Thai peanut sauce for Dr Luke.

I think we’ll have to get a normal hobby or a girlfriend or something

 

[PoopyFarts]

I think we’ll have to get a normal hobby or a girlfriend or something

The Keffals situation has been fairly entertaining, but I will miss prime rant Wern.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I'll laugh my ass off if it was being in a nursing home with a bunch of halfwit seniors that finally broke him

Perhaps even imagining himself as the crazy old man some younger crazy resident ropes into playing their own insane board games 30 years from now like he was doing to current residents.

Honestly Jamie - a literal senile sped - routinely beating Lucas at Lucas's own convoluted board games was one of my favorite parts of the Mallon Place arc.

Has she posted about her son's recent health problems with as much emotion? Whilst it's very sad she lost her dog will she lament as publicly if/when Lucas dies?

The pupper deserves the lamentation and weeping.

The only remembrance Lucas deserves is a bittersweet toast, happy the fucker is rotting in hell but sad that one of the most fascinating cows is no longer producing milk to study.

It's sad... I gotta find a new cow I suppose. I used to follow the Christory, but the prison saga has killed that, and now Lucas has basically killed himself.

Russel Greer is a good one, but best handled in small doses and only when he's active.

 

[Purgatorium]

I cannot tell you the anticlimactic feeling I got when finding out I could still check up on the wern with all the bullshit going on, only to find out he’s gonna deteriorate even more quickly than he already did. I’m not sure what other cows are still interesting except for Russell.

 

[Da Dude123]

It is good to be back. Those damn troons reeeing and moooing about people documenting their cow behavior. Makes me mad at the Internet.

Anyways, the mooo cow does not seem to be well at all. He will spend his tardbux on grocery delivery, of course. Homeboy needs to go back to the nursing home. Unless the people in the nursing really do their job, not sure his health will improve much.

I wonder if he is still making his daily hamburger spaghetti? He probably will if he is not homeless.

 

[Al from Dadeville]

Bold of you to assume there will be an obituary. Not sure anyone in Lucas's family cares enough about him to write an obituary. His mom may make a pitty post on FB, but that is about it.

National headlines: "Kiwifarms bullies another mentally ill man TO DEATH: they can't keep getting away with it"

 

[Al from Dadeville]

(Apologies for the double post but I don't have an edit button)
barbecue steak bites and peaches.