WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
I prefer to think of them as the fibonacci spiral of idiocy that is lucas's child like mind
Almost as if they were an inkblot like projection of whats going on in his head
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
Almost as if they were an inkblot like projection of whats going on in his head
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
I personally prefer Dr. Niggae Luke, esteemed Age Gap Breederologist with his 20,000 page ground breaking thesis paper and half a semesters worth of credits towards an Associates of liberal arts.
His mind is so far off the deep end that he can't even parse together a coherent thought.
Like he didn't finish the findings of the first "study" in his second meme before immediately jumping to the second study.
Not that Lucas was ever fully coherent, just that he's not even finishing his thoughts...
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2020
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
The swelling is horrifying, it barely looks like the same person. No way he's dealing with his kidney issues properly, not that it wasn't obvious from the pictures he's been showing off of food. He really has convinced himself consequences don't apply to him. His feet and legs are likely fucked as well, I won't be surprised if he disappears for awhile in the not too distant future and it ends up its because he had at least one foot amputated. But even then he'll be more convinced than ever he's plenty good and ready to be a dad. After all he'll demand a motorized wheelchair and thats totally impressive to sweet lady zoom zoom. I can see it now - lucas going on about how great it is to be in a motorized wheelchair because it totally doesn't pollute like an evil gas powered car or bus, makes him independent of the bus system and his teen queen can sit on his lap and he can drive her around. He'll have it twisted around in his shrimp cocktail sized brain that being a legless bum makes him the perfect socialist
Shirtless, obese, lieutenant dan mode lucas would be quite the sight rolling through the streets of spokane at 4mph and leering at every teen he rolls past, showing off his government issued, shit tier motorized wheelchair like he's a flatbill with a hot rod. Flatbills drive around in their hot rod flashing their credit card? He'll show those bigots! Lucas will sputter around spokane flashing his EBT card to all the socialist baes. Just ignore the rotting stumps that used to be his legs. Naturally he's so fat and physically weak with his t-rex arms he'll inevitably fall out of his chair somewhere and end up flailing around on the sidewalk demanding everyone come to his aid and ranting about how they're woman hoarding trump supporting bigots if they don't jump to his rescue and pick him up to put him back in his chair
But the important question is.....does clinkerdaggers have a wheelchair ramp or will lucas forever be denied access to his favorite restaurant? and does mallon place then put him on the ground floor or without any free rooms to put him in on ground level do they ship his fat legless ass off to the nursing home building or the hospital
That said, how long before lucas starts making videos like this with his foodbank hauls:
If he starts doing that it won't be long before lucas ends up looking like this:
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2023
Too bad he won't be most people neighbor as that would require owning or renting a residence, which he never will.
Good thing too, no one wants him around. God his face is punchable.
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2019
Greer's gone full Wern, culinarily speaking in and my opinion:
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
So how long before lucas starts suing 16 year old IG models for not fucking him I wonder
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2016
Think that chin pimple will heal before he dies?
I kinda wonder if he's not starting multi-organ failure. I don't know if his face being that swollen and red is typical of kidney alone, personally it reminds me more of heart failure. Might also explain why he was out of breath while sitting down in his last video. Any medical Kiwis want to chime in?
I kinda wonder if he's not starting multi-organ failure. I don't know if his face being that swollen and red is typical of kidney alone, personally it reminds me more of heart failure. Might also explain why he was out of breath while sitting down in his last video. Any medical Kiwis want to chime in?
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Wouldn't really surprise me given lucas's general health, kidney issues and obvious ignoring even the most basic advice he must have been given to stay alive. I mean he's a guy who walked around for months with a literal hole in his foot he claims to somehow have not noticed, which even for lucas is strange. After all even if he didn't feel it cause of his beetus feet you'd think he would notice theres a big hole in his shoe and see a hole in his foot when taking his shoes off. Plus organs have a habit of failing in a domino effect, when his kidneys get to a certain level of fucked his heart will be next. Not sure we're at that point yet though because i'd expect to see some yellowing skin at that point, which is ironically appropriate considering how much lucas resembles barney gumble. His transformation into barney will be complete at that point
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Did he even take them off? Maybe he was like ADF/Phil, who kept his repulsive boots on 24/7 even when he was sleeping. When he finally took them off, he had serious trench foot with literal green mold or fungus growing on his feet.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
The cow is moooing about needing a girlfriend. It's not in the cards for you, Lucas! Girlfriend? Please, you're a fat cow who is going into renal failure. It's really not in the cards for you.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Perhaps lucas should take a tip from the chinese and go the ghost marriage route. Once he dies we can set him up with a nice dead hambeast lolcow so he can have an obese insane wife for eternity.
Might work for greer as well. Though marrying him off to some dead 20 year old IG model who OD'd or BPD'd herself to death would probably horrify her. I mean can you imagine the reaction said model would have dying then waking up in some afterlife, turning around and seeing greer happily announcing they're now married for eternity. I'm not sure whether he'd be worse than lucas but it would be pretty close
EDIT:
Found exactly the kind of wheelchair lucas would want after losing his feet. Perfect for showing off for lady zoom
Wouldn't be surprised if he pissed off enough local priests to end up in a similar scenario either
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- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
I shouldn't laughed as hard at this as I did, yet something about the fact of Lucas refusing to realize his days are numbered and reading him be labelled as "fat cow going into renal failure" made me burst.
Honestly though, Lucas can't be bothered to actually eat healthy food or drink enough water to save his organs. What makes us think he's going to realize that he won't ever have a gf?
HaloHero65
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 11, 2020
it's over soon, I don't see this type of organ problems often in bodies. people that die of kidney failure don't always have yellowed skin but they always have swelling. I give him maybe 6 months at most but that depends on what he shoves down his neck. beetus kidneys and almost certainly heart issues his body will do more good as a teaching aid to show advanced untreated issues. in death he will do more good than he ever did in life
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2018
I love how even when he is in dire straits he resorts back to moooing about a girlfriend. Like in his shelter hobo days, the number one issue that was afflicting him was not that he was homeless, oh, no. Him not having a girlfriend was the most pressing.
Even when the dumbass got catfished to LA with only the dirty clothes on his back and was stuck on Skid Row penniless. He starts moooing and reeeing saying "I wish I had a girlfriend". Not "how will I get back to Spokane? where will I go? Will cholos stab me to death?". Nope, "moooo I need a baby zoom, right now, right now". I definitely suspect his mother reluctantly broke down and bailed his fat ass out of that situation.
Now that his health is circling the drain and his kidneys are about to quit, still moooing about how important he is cause he is an atheist and where is that Gen Z girlfriend?
Fatal Walter
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2019
I was wondering to myself what the hell he was thinking, whining about not having a gf while his health circles the drain, but then I remember this picture from earlier in the thread. Guess it's not much of a mystery.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
You could probably add wern hungry wern want eat to that to complete his mindset. I would compare him to a caveman but thats not fair because our cave dwelling ancestors worked their asses off, knew how to hunt, how to make fire and had didn't live off of government welfare programs. They may have lived 20,000 years ago but they're smarter than lucas by a few orders of magnitude
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
This is Lucas's greatest asset as a lolcow: his focus. Whatever is going on in his life, he always sees his immediate problem as his ongoing involuntary celibacy.I love how even when he is in dire straits he resorts back to moooing about a girlfriend. Like in his shelter hobo days, the number one issue that was afflicting him was not that he was homeless, oh, no. Him not having a girlfriend was the most pressing.
Even when the dumbass got catfished to LA with only the dirty clothes on his back and was stuck on Skid Row penniless. He starts moooing and reeeing saying "I wish I had a girlfriend". Not "how will I get back to Spokane? where will I go? Will cholos stab me to death?". Nope, "moooo I need a baby zoom, right now, right now". I definitely suspect his mother reluctantly broke down and bailed his fat ass out of that situation.
Now that his health is circling the drain and his kidneys are about to quit, still moooing about how important he is cause he is an atheist and where is that Gen Z girlfriend?
Spring is here, and Lucas must be sniffing the air for the scent of zoomers. Sadly, this season the old bachelor can't muster much energy or enthusiasm for his mating dance. He'll prepare food, make a few social media posts about being lonely. But the mating dancer's best steps require a degree of vigor and ambition that he lacks these days. Things like lurking in bars, writing poems, having public meltdowns about being single. No, he just can't put much work into attracting a fertile mate this year, even by his standards. He's just too fat and sick. It's almost sad.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
He'll probably waddle down to the 7-11 to get his energy drinks as the summer heat starts to drain what little energy he has. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll get desperate and creep on a cashier or somebody waiting in line. Though I suspect its more likely we'll get a repeat of him puking his guts out and collapsing in said 7-11 and having another ambulance ride because of 'dehydration' he seems to be dedicated to speedrunning himself into the celestial elk kingdom. I'm surprised nobody has fucked with him yet telling him he better start getting right with jesus
We may not get much in the way of public screaming anymore but i'll be surprised if when his health starts to nosedive significantly he doesn't get angry and makes some videos screaming and blaming everyone but himself, demanding someone give him a kidney. and if he does, he should be door dashed a few store bought cow kidneys on pure principle and maybe a frozen catfish for old times sake, as punishment for being so greedy
and if he gets desperate enough to demand one from his parents of brothers and gets refused I can see that setting off an old school screaming rant. He has alot of resentment built up against them over the years and that could easily be the straw that breaks the camels back and sets him off
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- Joined
- Dec 23, 2022
dude. he looks fucking 55 in these pics. holy hell he's not looking good.
Just for comparison's sake, this was him roughly a year and a half ago (i think):
Just for comparison's sake, this was him roughly a year and a half ago (i think):
