Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[not in the cards]

Lucas used to brush up his pics as much as an Instagram e-thot, to be fair.

But brushing up can only go so far. You can't polish a turd.

 

[A Silly Possum]

What a terrifying picture lmao

 

[WonderWino]

What a terrifying picture lmao

View attachment 5110042

Pretty strongly confirms he was fucking with the previous pics. His eyes are swollen and far more sunken looking in that pic. Not to mention he managed to filter his eyebrows to the point they're almost non existent. Plus he's got some serious double chin going on there, which probably is just as much fluid retention as it is obesity. No wonder he's hacking up his lungs like an old chain smoker in the newest video

 

[not in the cards]

What a terrifying picture lmao

View attachment 5110042

Looks like all that fat in his face is progressively sagging into that extra chin of his.

Pretty strongly confirms he was fucking with the previous pics. His eyes are swollen and far more sunken looking in that pic. Not to mention he managed to filter his eyebrows to the point they're almost non existent. Plus he's got some serious double chin going on there, which probably is just as much fluid retention as it is obesity. No wonder he's hacking up his lungs like an old chain smoker in the newest video

His recent video shows that he's out of air just doing nothing and this has been going on for how long? You can hear him struggling for breath in that video with the cat and that was almost two weeks ago. Time's running out for this cow.

 

[Spunt]

He looks like Gheb from fire emblem sacred stones
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He looks like a 400lb Lars Ulrich.

 

[WonderWino]

So I was browsing wikipedia out of boredom and came across this

Golden fantasy is a secret (or not-so-secret) expectation that all of one's problems can be solved by interaction with a perfect and all-caring relationship figure. The fantasy can be found both in psychotherapy and in ordinary life.

That sounds an awful lot like lucas's delusion that he'll be calm and cured of mental illness and it'll fix everything if he gets his teen queen and knocks her up

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

You bigots and haters are gonna be eating your flatbills when King Daddy Telemerase wakes up from his diabetic hibernation to greet the warm weather with a renewed lust for fecund poonaner. All he needs is someone to put him in a "Hi, how are you?" situation and he'll finally get his bae, and that happily ever after in the Elk Kingdom.

 

[Bassomatic]

Its come up a lot lately but, Lucas need for teener puss puss makes sense on his death bed. (Or cot hes poor).

We often use the term fuck mommy to explain what Lucas wants. For him need of a GF now of all times makes sense. He's super sick and barely able to make toasterbortions.

His only relationship was him being both lazy and he was abusive. Lucas now barely able to waddle to steal from food banks needs a slave to make him sun dried tomatoes and slim Jim casserole covered in a reduced french dressing.

She would take him to his kidney wash outs then getting him ice cream for being a big brave boy with the needle. Then he'd eat 4 loaves of garlic bread while she cleans the house. He'd watch hardcore violent porn and drink canned soup while she works. Then submit to Lucas sexually.

To him since he had this, and ruined it by being violent. He assumed this is normal and a relationship. So now as he can't do basic things anymore, a teen sex slave and maid is something he double down needs.

The religious sperg so close to death is odd to me. I can say when it's very close, people whom never follow anything find a spiritual meaning or need. I don't mean to say death bed converts but, as the body fails people desire more than a long sleep. To me Lucas is held together by spite and fat lots of fat.

 

[not in the cards]

Look at the similarities between the two

 

[WonderWino]

Look at the similarities between the two

Lucas better put his arm down or he's going to end up knocking somebody out with his onion, BO and piss wernstench

.....Unless thats his plan - gas a zoomer bae laying in the grass in the sun until she passes out then carry her back to his fartbox of solitude at mallon place swamp thing style

.....Probably killing himself in the process because between picking her up and waddling home with her he'd be lucky to make it 20 feet before he keeled over coughing, puking and having a heart attack

 

[not in the cards]

Lucas better put his arm down or he's going to end up knocking somebody out with his onion, BO and piss wernstench

.....Unless thats his plan - gas a zoomer bae laying in the grass in the sun until she passes out then carry her back to his fartbox of solitude at mallon place swamp thing style

.....Probably killing himself in the process because between picking her up and waddling home with her he'd be lucky to make it 20 feet before he keeled over coughing, puking and having a heart attack

It won't be a problem. Even if he can control his loud and inane ramblings, he wouldn't be able to conceal his unblinking and fixating eyes. That alone will ward any potential victim away before they get too close.

But even if they were unfortunate enough to succumb to the smell, one has to wonder if he'll actually put in the effort to carry them back to his fartbox. Remember, he was opposed to manual labour.

 

[Tsukasa Kadoya]

Look at the similarities between the two

That fucking bloat.
His kidneys are all sorts of fucked up by now.
Jesus, can he not eat shitloads of meat and salt?

 

[lindsayfan]

Its come up a lot lately but, Lucas need for teener puss puss makes sense on his death bed. (Or cot hes poor).

i agree with this very thoughtful post-- and the "golden fantasy" diagnosis. if he wasn't doped to the gills on pharma, the primal autistic urge that makes lucas so frantic to reproduce would be turned up to eleven about now, since at some basic lizard-brain level he must be aware that he's dying & the window of time to fulfill his biological imperative is about to run out.

 

[WonderWino]

So while the site was down I did some digging around lucas's old cooking related stuff and came across this:

Let that sink in - he thought it was a good idea to cover chicken breasts in a sauce made from carbonated perrier water peanuts and cheese sauce. Carbonated cheese sauce with chunks of peanuts and that awful sour perrier aftertaste in it and he thinks this is gourmet food

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

So while the site was down I did some digging around lucas's old cooking related stuff and came across this:
View attachment 5121037
Let that sink in - he thought it was a good idea to cover chicken breasts in a sauce made from carbonated perrier water peanuts and cheese sauce. Carbonated cheese sauce with chunks of peanuts and that awful sour perrier aftertaste in it and he thinks this is gourmet food

I'm a Texan and I take my Chili Con Queso very seriously.

What the fucking fuck is this fucker talking about?

Fizzy Cheese Sauce? Who, in the history of ever, asked for Fizz in their Queso?

If you want to thin out Queso, use the juice from your vegetables (onions and peppers).... and if you feel like cheating... use milk...

Do not use fucking Perrier.

I'm almost (and note,... I said almost) as mad about this as I am that he wants to fuck kids.

 

[WonderWino]

I'm a Texan and I take my Chili Con Queso very seriously.

What the fucking fuck is this fucker talking about?

Fizzy Cheese Sauce? Who, in the history of ever, asked for Fizz in their Queso?

If you want to thin out Queso, use the juice from your vegetables (onions and peppers).... and if you feel like cheating... use milk...

Do not use fucking Perrier.

I'm almost (and note,... I said almost) as mad about this as I am that he wants to fuck kids.

Yeah its a fucked up thing that no normal person would even consider doing. Nobody he served something like that to would eat it unless they were desperate or as mental as lucas is. Its one of those things that further implies he has some degree of autism. Its also one of those things that makes me wonder how fucked in the head suzanne had to be to actually eat the shit he supposedly cooked, let alone to supposedly reward him with sex for it. That shit gives desperate a whole new meaning

That said I wonder how long it'll take before lucas starts bragging about the site totally being gone and not realizing its still accessible via tor. Its not like lucas will ever be able to access it again to see whats being said about him so long as it stays this way seeing as he's too stupid to even understand how to use a DS or an obamaphone which were designed to be simple enough for low iq crackheads to be able to use

 

[Club Sandwich]

fucked in the head suzanne had to be to actually eat the shit he supposedly cooked

my theory is that Suzanne kept a leash on Lucas as a sort of pet or special needs child (and he was seemingly more stable back then, at least in regards with bizarre food combinations) so i fully believe that Lucas making chicken and rice or pasta or similarly easy meals is the most likely.

 

[WonderWino]

So I was foolish enough to watch all of this

The most horrifying part was at 2:28:30 where he states a feeding frenzy for their semen, choked with sweet naturally aged telomerase non ironically and with a straight face without any clue as to how horrifying that statement is

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Yeah its a fucked up thing that no normal person would even consider doing. Nobody he served something like that to would eat it unless they were desperate or as mental as lucas is. Its one of those things that further implies he has some degree of autism. Its also one of those things that makes me wonder how fucked in the head suzanne had to be to actually eat the shit he supposedly cooked, let alone to supposedly reward him with sex for it. That shit gives desperate a whole new meaning

There is a non-zero chance Suzanne did all the shopping and basically told Lucas what to make.

 

[WonderWino]

There is a non-zero chance Suzanne did all the shopping and basically told Lucas what to make.

Yeah that would make the most sense. If left to his own devices for what to make he'd do his toasterbortions and would definitely not be rewarded for that

That said I was playing atom rpg yesterday and came across an npc that reminded me disturbingly of lucas. He sits around in a flophouse talking about how he's writing a book with an obvious self inset named dick popov that comes off alot like lucas's oliver dangle and its just as incoherent and insane as the shit lucas wrote, as this clearly shows:

Now tell me that doesn't remind you of something lucas would write. I'm starting to wonder if one of the developers is a wernologist who put that in there as an in-joke