Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Small dump of dumb/funny shit he's been saying:
View attachment 5246741
View attachment 5246743
View attachment 5246747
View attachment 5246748View attachment 5246742View attachment 5246744
This one is hilariously ironic:
View attachment 5246740
He's so depressed right now he's not even bragging about his food lmao:
View attachment 5246745


View attachment 5246746
Who knows wtf cash processing means. Probably something related to that cashier thing for the pot farm. Also probably a scam LOL

i'm worthless

Lucas said something truthful for once

This one is hilariously ironic:

The lack of self awareness there is even more hilarious when his statement could also be used to show why his stated age for a zoomer bae shouldn't be getting involved with let alone knocked up by an obese schizo in his 40s because her brain isn't mature enough. But of course lucas will never see that or accept it even though its using his own logic

From Google

"Cash Processing is a very significant part of banking and trading sectors, requiring huge engagement of time and manpower. Cash Processing includes: cash collection, counting, sorting process *(sorting to cash in circulation and cash for exchange); ATM services (counting, filling strongboxes, replenishment)."

I don't think he would pass any sort of screening requirements for handling any amount of cash. He could be handed a few dollars for replenishing an ATM, he'd pocket it and say he put it in. And then moooo about bigotry.

I suspect lucas is trying to imply he'd be hired as somebody in a back room of walmart or whatever who counts the money from the week and prepares it for being taken to the bank to be deposited

That said I definitely agree. Nobody in their right mind would hire lucas for that particular job. Lucas has a long history of doing illegal shit when he thinks he can get away with it, stealing and doing low key scams. He's even admitted it publicly. He'd wait a few days to get comfortable and then try to steal small amounts of money at a time. No way he wouldn't steal. He thinks he's smart enough to get away with it and theres so much they'd never notice. Well the company accountants would notice within a few weeks at most and when that happened he'd get fired and they would absolutely get the police involved. That job would end with lucas doing some jail time, and should also end with whoever hired him being fired for failing to ensure a proper screening of him was done

Couple more. That info dump about his brother and troons is fucking hilarious. He's on a wild one today. Sounds manic

Indeed. Seems like he didn't get enough of his meds or something today. Either that or he got his tugboat and stuffed himself full of energy drinks until he started going manic

Someone needs to delete the dark web

Such a boomer statement. Also the irony of lucas whining about people running scams on the dark web when lucas himself has a history of scamming people is hilarious. If anything he only wants it gone to get rid of this site and his thread

I blocked my older half brother on facebook years ago for transphobic comments

Says the guy who public bragged about and recorded himself talking about how he farted so much he spooked his friends troon friends to the point they left the motel room because of it. Not to mention lucas sure had alot of unpleasant things to say about a certain lesbian couple he was roommates with who he's still angry didn't invite him into their imaginary orgies and who he creeped out by talking about jizzing in the food he cooked for them. But he's totally fine with troons everybody

If they make drag shows illegal they need to make child beauty pageants illegal

Yes, they should make both illegal. They attract pedos and narcissistic child abusers like flies to shit. and of course lucas's pedo brain immediately jumps to child beauty pageants. and lucas seems to be unaware that his own statements about troons there would get him screeched at, unpersoned and probably banned by lots of left wingers and social media sites these days for transphobia

Nothing I want to do is illegal

Nobody who says something like that is telling the truth. Only criminals and people who want to do illegal shit make statements like that. Hell its the same shit you hear out of the mouths of the pedos on TCAP when they get busted

All my dating profiles are set from 18 to 35

Somehow I doubt that. Lucas doesn't want a woman past 25 and his stated preference is under 18. That fact he would follow the statement 'nothing I want to do is illegal' with a comment like that about his dating age range shows he's having thoughts about doing illegal shit with underage girls and knows it. This is realizing that and trying to pre-emptively head off any accusations. Nobody who isn't a pedo combines those two statements like he did. To say nothing of the fact he is supposedly banned from all the major dating sites, for creepy behavior

I don't have a car so I don't think i'll be driving drunk anytime soon

Says the guy who lost his license for getting caught with a drug related DUI, and who burned a truck, probably while either drunk and/or high by driving it into a fire pit

I don't want to kill anyone or steal from anyone

Says the guy who has made violent threats about smashing peoples faces in, among other things, and who has a long history of stealing whenever he thinks he can get away with it

i'm not going to lie to anyone under oath

Yes you would. You lie about absolutely everything and you do it constantly. There is no way you wouldn't lie under oath to try to get out of trouble

I'm not interested in defecting to a hostile nation, I might defect to a tolerant nation

If you're defecting its always to a hostile nation, thats why its defecting. Thats why an american moving to the UK or canada and getting citizenship is considered immigrating not defecting, vs going to north korea or russia with secret documents is defecting. That aside, lucas would absolutely defect to a hostile nation if they gave him the same treatment dresnok got in north korea. Fed him for life, gave him a free apartment, a teaching job and made him a movie star. Lucas would waddle right over to north korea the first chance he got for a life like that. and then the north koreans would realize what he really is and otto warmbier him. Not that he'd ever be able to learn the language if he stayed, or any other language in any other country. Can you imagine lucas trying to learn korean? or russian? Hell he couldn't even manage spanish or german

and for a guy who claims he doesn't support illegal shit he sure does follow his statement up with admissions of supporting a whole lot of illegal shit. Gee I wonder why he supports hacking 'illegal websites' (which don't need to be hacked to be shut down anyway) no way he isn't talking about this site, very likely also why he brought up the dark web

That said, has anyone else noticed how much lucas has in common with pandas? They're basically the werns of the bear world. They're stupid as rocks, can be insanely violent at random, have no desires beyond eating and having sex and essentially rely on humans to provide for them and keep them alive. The only real difference is women think pandas are cute and want to pet them, while no woman wants anything to do with lucas. Well that and if lucas was a panda he'd be melting cheese and bbq sauce all over his bamboo and dousing it with pepper. Probably calling it cheesy boo

I marched with BLM and ACAB one time. I marched with them through tear gas and pepper spray. I marched with them until the cops showed up with tanks prior to any violence from BLM and ACAB. After the guns were pulled on me I walked away

So lucas is trying to pull that obvious lie again. He never marched with anyone, but its sure not the first time he's claimed to. He even tried to pull that with 'mias dad' until it backfired and he started getting accused of supporting the BLM idiots that burned down mias dads properties and such. I bet thats why he's going out of his way to say he totally left before they did anything violent. and yet again he's using ACAB as though its an actual organization like BLM. It isn't and he's been told this repeatedly by many people and it still hasn't sunk in. Its a fucking statement, so he clearly doesn't even know what those letters stand for. and of course he's trying to impress zoomer base by claiming the cops pulled guns on him and he totally 'walked away' from them when that happened. If the cops are at the point guns are being pulled on you you're not walking away that easily. He sure likes to make shit up in nonsensical ways that is a blatantly obvious lie to anyone with a higher IQ than him. Its like with his claims of getting beat with those bats yet showing no injuries and the cop he was reporting it to knew it and treated him like a kid making up an obvious lie and lucas was too stupid to realize it

and of course he posted that nonsense and then liked it himself

Also, sorta unrelated: do we have any confirmation of if he actually knows about this thread? Cuz his whole thing about the dark web today was really out of left field and maybe someone told him that the KF (was) only accessible through Tor and that spurred his "we should take down the dark web" rant.

Thats what it seemed like to me as well. Why else would he give a shit what the dark web does or even know about it. He certainly knows the thread exists, he's posted in it and got banned for posting gay porn in it and shit a few years ago. Whether he knows the site is still up I couldn't say, but is definitely implied with his hard on for shutting the dark web down

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

The saddest (or funniest) thing about Lucas as a whole is that his obsession with getting a zoomer bae GF has cost him any chance he could have for leading a normal life. He will forever be known as the Starbucks creeper, and even if he really tried to get a job, that reputation alongside an empty work history will nix any chances he has for leading a stable job.
Lucas will die in the streets all because he was too fucking picky to bang a local whore. He doesn't want a wife he wants a fuckable meal ticket (like Chris)
Every attempt he makes to get noticed by baes (his socialism leaning, the autistic screeds he literally posts in town, the ghastly food pics, the shit philosophy, etc) only gets him noticed by people like us.
He'll die with an audience that mocks him.

Lucas could get a job at Safeway or Walmart, something like that. Even if he wasn't a cow, that's about all he could do.

All Lucas had to do was not bother people and he'd be living in a decent apartment on autismbux in a perfect spot for that in Spokane. That's where he fucked up. He probably could have eventually found another Suzanne type if he did that, of course that's not what he wants.

 

[A Silly Possum]

Yeah, he's definitely off his meds.



He's also for sure getting scammed with that "cashier" job lol



The random pics of him are killing me. Especially the one where he's just staring straight ahead after that girl tells him to have a good night.

 

[WonderWino]

Yeah, he's definitely off his meds.
View attachment 5250153View attachment 5250155View attachment 5250156View attachment 5250158View attachment 5250159View attachment 5250160View attachment 5250161


He's also for sure getting scammed with that "cashier" job lol

View attachment 5250182View attachment 5250154View attachment 5250157

The random pics of him are killing me. Especially the one where he's just staring straight ahead after that girl tells him to have a good night.

There are some real doozies in that screenshot dump

It needs to be done that the US congress is the part majority reflecting the same party as the president. Otherwise theres just gridlock

We can add civics to the laundry list of things lucas has no understanding of. The government is designed to work like this explicitly to prevent the president from having that kind of power over congress. That was the whole point of setting it up this way. Shit like what lucas is describing is how you end up with a dictatorship

Daily reminder that you can't vote if you're a felon but idiots and literal mental patients are allowed and encouraged to vote. Lucas should set up an eco server and build a government that works the way he's talking about here. It would be hilarious to see the shitshow take off as the server implodes and the city gets wiped out by the meteor after a month cause nobody can get anything done

I don't think everyone evolves. I think people evilve. They just get more evil over time. Some people eLOVEve. They just get better over time. Some people are like tootsie pops. You gnaw through the fruitiness you get to the grosser chocolate middle. Some people are like strawberry charleston chews. The best part is the midlander strawberry nougaty goodness

Yet again lucas manages to twist everything around to involve food. If anything he's describing himself wit that getting more evil over time stuff

Not everyone is good at the core. Some people are worse. Think of a nice shoe, but in the middle is a smelly old rotten foot cloaked in a dolce. Some people are just a smelly old rotten foot

Hello projection. Lucas described himself to a T, right down to the rotten foot

Why did I suddenly remember how much I like dane cook? he's like the type of guy who instead of saying hi to you every day comes up and coughs jesusthhsaves while smirking and drooling on both your and his feet and only smells like that because he shaves his crotch with pink cupcake frosting

Sounds like what lucas does about bernie sanders and telomeres, right down to drooling on himself and smelling weird (piss and onions) and of course the food stuff nonsensically added in there

Lucas 'totally not gay' werner describing another mans crotch as smelling like pink cupcake frosting sure does make him sound totally hetero and not like he wants to gulp down a cock like its covered in frosting at all

Dane has all the comedic nuance of a 300 pound, barely clothed prostitute on meth dancing in the streets in between part yelling at part whispering to part smelling light poles and the insides of downtown mailboxes thinking shes going to be a big big dancing star someday, as alley cats yowl in the moonlit dusk knocking over 1980s style trash cans that look occupied by shady characters like oscar the grouch

Uh......What in the actual fuck is he going on about? Sounds like he's talking about himself without meds and having a schizo episode in between making shirtless videos of himself

I don't care if men hit on me i've been hit on men and its always made me laugh. a friend of my roommate asked if he could suck my dick. I laughed and said no thanks. another time a gay christian guy I was friends with and argued with about theology in a hospital, noticed I had ordered a box of cheetos from a magazine and came over, tickled my belly and asked if he could have a bag of cheetos. I laughed and said sure

This coming from the guy who has lost his shit multiple times at the mere hint of someone thinking he was gay. and lets not forget he wrote this at the same time he was talking about a guys crotch that smelled like pink cupcake frosting. Read into that as you will. and clearly lucas had some.....interesting adventures in the psych ward with gay guys coming up to him in there, getting handsy and ticklish with him in exchange for a bag of cheetos. Nevermind the fact he yet again has admitted to ordering entire boxes of cheetos while in the psych ward (remember when he admitted trying to groom female patients with those and then tried again when he got out and they got sent back to him? I remember)

and holy shit that picture. That looks so much like the weird look one of the meridian 59 developers had in a livestream awhile back that its creepy. Its also a strange reaction to some 100 year old woman in a bar offering him a drink. Cause i'm sure the spokane bars are just filled with 100 year old women on weekends out trying to score some 40 year old obese crazy hobo cock and lucas didn't just make this bizarre scenario up in his head at all

Fuck xitter. when I take a really solid poop I say elon musk like muuuuuuu as the stinky poop shreds from my stanky buth heuxl

So lucas fantasizes about successful men around his age with lots of money while he takes a shit then

Some elk BO. some musk!

I can't believe he actually said that. So little self awareness in that obese gourd of his its astounding

From an animule that lives in the woods. among the skunks, ticks and dungweevils and whatever my uncle found in the garage one time in the rurals that looked like a porcupine had sex with a nutriapig and he still doesn't know whadeverhunffuckitwuz

He's starting to lose it and that follow up picture isn't exactly encouraging, he looks out of it in that pic

I hope ET is an orca thing that eats space yawwwwwtssss that hasn't had a bite since a poop break on gilesa prime and could go for a bloated ass snack that costs the 25 mill to travel in a space yottie while a 2 bedroom apartment should to adjusted inflation from the 70s still be 500 bucks. fuck he. fuck those

Like I said he's losing it. He also doesn't understand inflation. Not that anyone is surprised at that

and he sure does like to talk about shit alot. no way he doesn't have some kind of shit fetish

He's an idjit. stupid name. x. you can only pronounce it ba. its like naming your dating web site plentyoffish which is supposed to read like plenty of fish but sounds plenty offish. he's be losing money on shitter since day one. flibbin idjit

Lucas calling someone else an idjit while failing to realize a) twitter is making more money than it was before he bought it and b) it was losing tons of money before he bought it. He didn't buy it to make money off it in any practical sense. and lucas sure is plenty offish himself. I wonder if that popped up out of nowhere because he caught yet another pof ban

Lucas ranting about his dads farting habits is weird, even for him, and claiming he told lucas he used to hit home runs when he was in highschool is textbook lucas bs

The cat in the brat pack tapped the phat sack in detest of the mathemac

Is this lucas's attempt to act black to attract a zoomer bae?

My mom smoked all through her pregnancy with me. I have a slightly quicker heart rate because of it. They didn't know in 1979 like they know now

Not that I would be surprised to find out myrna smoked and probably drank when pregnant with lucas but they knew full well smoking would harm the fetus in 1979. He's lying again. and any heart rate issues with lucas are because he's fucking morbidly obese not his mother smoking while pregnant. Lucas blaming everyone else for his problems again

People say i'm chill but I also have quick bursts of temper. Again prenatal tobacco

Oh look, he's retconning why he's violent and angry again. First it was admitting to schizophrenia, then admitting to being bipolar as well, then it was too much caffeine and everyone elses fault and now its 'my mom smoked when I was a fetus so i'm not crazy and violent at all!' Smoking during pregnancy does not make your kid an angry, violent, bipolar schizophrenic. He's making excuses yet again

and why the fuck is anyone sending him money again? ffs. He thought was being clever and if he just asked for $1 'to see if the app is still working' (lolwut?) a bunch of people would end up sending $1 and he'd get alot more than just asking for x amount. Note tugboat day was what, yesterday and he's already getting greedy and wanting people to give him money. and now its 'give me $2 to run an experiment with bitcoin' huh? Yeah you can't do anything with $2 worth of bitcoin. Claiming its work related isn't too smart either. Either he's getting scammed or he's read some bs on the internet somewhere about how to run low level scams and is trying one himself. He does not need to do any of this to test anything related to employment. Nor do cashiers and shit do anything involving bitcoin or cashapp

That $700 stuff raises all kinds of alarm bells for a scam, among other things. a cashier would not have to do anything like he's claiming and any employer trying to get anyone to do something like that would likely get reported to the IRS and labor board over it. The amount seems pretty suspicious. like ween trying to fuck him over suspicious. isn't $700 the exact amount that hits the point that paypal is required by law to report the transaction to the IRS? This makes me wonder if lucas is being set up to make more than he's allowed to in a sketchy manner so he can be reported to the IRS for tax related shit and to his caseworker to get his tugboat fucked with and get him into serious trouble he may have a very difficult time getting out of. If thats what this is and he gets reported there would be an investigation, which could get his tugboat suspended for awhile, which could fuck with his housing if mallon place doesn't get their money for his rent

and holy shit lucas is truly stupid. Even he was suspicious at first yet somehow thinks that because they don't have access to his personal and otherwise important info that it totally isn't a scam? Lucas is clearly too stupid to realize there are indirect ways to fuck with people and scam them. Has he never heard of a long con? Whoever is doing this clearly knew lucas's greed and stupidity are a dangerous combination and would get the better of what little rational thinking capability he has and its clearly worked

Yeah thinking more about this i'd put money on this being less of a standard scam and more of a ween trying to set him up to fuck with him in a more serious way. That $700 stuff is too specific and lines up too well with legal reporting requirements and is certainly enough for him to get into trouble. Getting him to dump it into bitcoin isn't a good look for him either. Makes me think its intended to set lucas up to look like he's trying to hide the money from transactions from the IRS and wranglers. No way this isn't being done for a particular reason and by someone familiar enough with lucas and his behaviors to know how to manipulate and bait him

and yeah he definitely sounds like he's either off his meds or they're not working as well as they should be

 

[A Silly Possum]

There are some real doozies in that screenshot dump

Yeah for sure, some of the best, most crazy shit he's posted in a long ass time.

We can add civics to the laundry list of things lucas has no understanding of.

I love that his solution for ties in the Senate was just 'flipping a coin' lmfao what is he 8? Might as well do Eeny Meeny Miny Moe

He's starting to lose it and that follow up picture isn't exactly encouraging, he looks out of it in that pic

That picture is straight up harrowing. I can't even figure out why he took that picture or why in the hell he thought that was an appropriate time to post it. It's easily the creepiest/funniest thing in the whole dump for me lol

He thought was being clever and if he just asked for $1 'to see if the app is still working' (lolwut?) a bunch of people would end up sending $1 and he'd get alot more than just asking for x amount.

Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing. When I initially saw it I thought it was just a scam to get a little extra change. Which honestly, compared to his previous attempts to make money (the $20 unblock and $50 to say nigga) I thought it was at least sort of clever. Everyone has $1 to spare to throw at a homeless person. $20 is another story. But it turns out he's not scamming, he's getting scammed himself. Lol

Also, I genuinely hope you're right about him getting fucked with by someone who knows about him and his past and is trying to fuck him over. He deserves it 100%. Plus it'll make for some excellent entertainment when it all blows up in his face. Can't wait.

 

[Da Dude123]

People, I am excited about this so called "job" that Lucas has. I love how the moooo cow who screams "show me proof, bigot!". Well, that goes out the window when a zoomer bae or some easy money comes into play.

If something looks or sounds good to him then he will go ahead and just believe it and be all in with it. Because he is plenty good, there is absolutely no reason why some hot zoomer bae would not want him to mooove in with her and there is no reason why someone would not want to hire Lucas to be a "cash processor". He is Dr. Nigger Luke! The scientist without a science degree.

I see things that look good all the time, but doesn't mean I believe them. I sure wish there were hot moms in my area wanting to fuck me, but I know deep down there aren't, despite the online popup. But Lucas's autistic cow brain doesn't think like that. He just thinks "plenty good" and goes forward.

This is clearly a scam. It almost sounds like they are trying to gain access to Lucas's PayPal account to try to steal money from him. Of course, not much to steal. He would lose his shit if that happened and mooo and reee. Or they are using him as a patsy in some sort of money laundering scheme. That also seems like a good possibility with Bitcoin being involved. He could end up getting himself in trouble with that.

This is another example of why Lucas is not capable of living on his own. He is just too dumb and autistic and will be prone to getting involved in things like this.


Do I feel bad for him? Hell no! The cow is bringing this on himself. As was stated, he has messed up so many things that society has tried to do to help him, so, if he gets scamed, he brought it on himself.

 

[A Silly Possum]

People, I am excited about this so called "job" that Lucas has.

This is clearly a scam

I snagged some updates on the earlier post where someone warned him it's a scam. Now tons of people are telling him EXACTLY what kind of scam it is and how it works and he's still just going "nah, I'm good. I'll just feel it out." Unbelievable.

Spoiler: Follow up of previous scam post (everything below the first comment chain is new)

Spoiler: Cope 1

Spoiler: Cope 2 - Imagine how much he could've made with $5!

Spoiler: More dubious info dumps about his family and growing up

Spoiler: >Fictionary

Spoiler: He's so fucking braindead he thinks gnosis/gnosticism is the same as atheist

Side note: Is this the best way to post shit? With the spoiler tags? Or is just putting the thumbnails better? Feels like it takes up so much thread real estate with just the thumbnails. Probably doesn't matter, like at all, but I'm just curious what the preference is.

 

[WonderWino]

I snagged some updates on the earlier post where someone warned him it's a scam. Now tons of people are telling him EXACTLY what kind of scam it is and how it works and he's still just going "nah, I'm good. I'll just feel it out." Unbelievable.

Spoiler: Follow up of previous scam post (everything below the first comment chain is new)

View attachment 5251272

Spoiler: Cope 1

View attachment 5251274

Spoiler: Cope 2 - Imagine how much he could've made with $5!

View attachment 5251273

Spoiler: More dubious info dumps about his family and growing up

View attachment 5251269

Spoiler: >Fictionary

View attachment 5251288

Spoiler: He's so fucking braindead he thinks gnosis/gnosticism is the same as atheist

View attachment 5251290

Side note: Is this the best way to post shit? With the spoiler tags? Or is just putting the thumbnails better? Feels like it takes up so much thread real estate with just the thumbnails. Probably doesn't matter, like at all, but I'm just curious what the preference is.

I know we say this alot and its been blatantly obvious for a long time but holy shit lucas is so utterly, utterly stupid. How the hell did he even manage to survive as a hobo being this stupid? I'm shocked he didn't end up robbed and beaten to death in the woods years ago

Its one thing to not be aware such scams exist and fall for one, not that anyone should be that stupid, but lucas has had multiple people point out that this is an obvious scam, he's literally had someone post an actual detailed explanation of how this scam works, complete with it pointing out it was job seekers being scammed out of thousands of dollars - literally exactly the situation lucas is in and he still denies its a scam,. He's told he is clearly receiving stolen crash and his response is to.....point out the people giving him this shady as fuck 'job' sell foodstuff and use the same pics of said food on their site they do on facebook? Oh yeah that really shows its not a scam lucas, totally. He even has some of the food in the pictures, so it can't be a scam. This is bizarre logic even for lucas. If anything it should be raising some serious red flags that somebody who sells food is 'hiring' him to convert money into crypto and send it back to them. But of course lucas is greedy and completely blinded at the thought of getting some of that money

Lucas thinks he can't be fucked over cause they don't have his important info like his SS or id, as if he assumes all scams involve identity theft. This is clearly a laundering scam not a identity theft situation so they don't need that. The best part? An actual, legitimate, paying job would have his SS and id information as its necessary for hiring, tax and business purposes. Everyone who has ever had a job knows this. So the very fact they haven't tried to get this info out of him shows it isn't an actual legit job. and of course lucas is stupid enough to think he won't get in trouble and will get off scot free by showing the cops and paypal the chatlogs and giving them the scammers phone number. Aside from the obvious fact that scammers use burner phones for this kind of thing, all he'll be doing is incriminating himself as being a willing part of the scam and doing the things he's accused of. When the scammer makes their move lucas will be held liable for however much money has been laundered through him. Paypal will get their money from him one way or another, they always do and are famous for going to extreme lengths to get money thats owed to them, and they will call the cops on lucas to investigate the incident. The best lucas can hope for is simply being on the hook to pay back what he laundered. He could very easily get additional fines and potential criminal charges if he's not careful. But regardless he'll be paying that money back. Money he can't really afford to considering how little money he has left over after mallon place is paid. Thats assuming they don't go after a bigger chunk and he becomes unable to pay for his stay there. He wouldn't be the first person that happened to, and ends up back in a shelter. Lucas being lucas will try to lie his way out of it, claim he had no idea it was a scam - which will be hilarious if the cops dig through his phone (they will) and find the posts he made replying to people telling him its a scam and denying it. Then he'll try to play up the crazy and pretend he's too mental to be held responsible for his actions, which won't work, as he is dumb as a post but not too dumb to not know right from wrong. So lucas will be in quite a bind

The fact he thinks he won't be held responsible for his actions (and won't incriminate himself further) by turning over chatlogs where he shows he's willingly participating in an obvious scam shows how stupid he truly is. He's not talking his way out of this with paypal no matter what he shows them. They will get their money, and for legal reasons, given the amount and fact there is a scam and fraud involved they have to involve the cops, which will have to pay lucas a visit. Oh to be one of the many flies on the wall in his fartbox that day. Lucas will be shitting bricks when his 'job' ends with him owing hundreds if not thousands of dollars by the time the scam is finished (and you just know they pegged lucas as dumb as a post so they'll milk it as far as they can with him) and getting in trouble with the cops. Lucas 'I don't do illegal stuff' werner everybody

Though my absolute favorite part of this scam is the fact that it involves paypal. Aside from being notorious for getting what they're owed no matter what, lucas himself has an admitted history of scamming at least a couple people over paypal back in the 90s, which he admitted in his 2010 reflections. So there is a certain poetic irony that it will be paypal that fucks him over decades later when he becomes a scam victim himself through his own greed

I've been playing with bitcoin for about a year. last summer someone sent me a dollar worth of BC, so I saved it in cashapp. I checked it late last month and its worth $1.35, a 135% growth. not bad

He said this with a straight face. Yeah he's a big player with bitcoin. Someone sent him $1, he did nothing with it and its value went up 35 cents. King roy would be proud of this jump in the kindgoms financial empire i'm sure

The only atheist i've ever met that owns a gun is my dad. but he's been a free contract rural mail carrier who lives 15 miles from one small city and 18 miles from a smaller city between those 33 mile points is basically just some houses and 10 to 20 acre plots of grassland dotting the woods. there are black bears and cougars out there. i've seen them and giant elk herds on my dads land

So he mentions the elk kingdom again. and what the fuck does being an atheist have to do with owning a gun? or being a rural mail carrier? Is he trying to imply king roy has to slog through 33 miles of woods and grasslands with his rifle, battling bears, cougars and elk to deliver mail to people? I assume he has a car and isn't walking all this distance carrying a rifle

One time thieves were stripping cascara bark off the trees by his pond and he walked down there with a 9 in his holster and told them to get lost

Somehow I doubt it went that way. Who the fuck steals bark off of trees? and what was king roy going to do? shoot some people because they took some bark off a tree? Its washington state, that sounds like a good way to do a few decades in prison

He walked a mile into a clearing one time and shot a deer. my step grandfather lived out there a few years with us and popped a pheasant from his bedroom window and we ate it for dinner with some steak

I'm not sure why lucas would brag about any of this. Walking a mile while hunting is nothing, its a very physical activity if nothing else. and apparently lucas is unaware shooting at animals from your window is illegal, as in very very 'game wardens/DNR will fine the shit out of you, take your weapons and you might even get jail time' kind of illegal. Not something to be bragging about. I wonder, did they have this pheasant meal with a steak from one of this grandfathers famous 50 head of cattle?

We had some shady areas when I lived in olympia, washington. which was only 50 thousand people. you didn't want to go skateboarding late at night by the mall. lotta thugs out there

Who the fuck skateboards late at night by the mall? Certainly not lucas. No way he's done that in his life. Lucas trying to skateboard would go like this:

Theres yellow slugs up in north country quinault the size of a grown mans dick

Do I even want to ask why he knows this? For a straight guy he sure talks about dicks alot. and lol at lucas claiming you have to watch harry and the hendersons a dozen times to understand it if you're not from there. I've seen it and understand it just fine. Perhaps lucas is too stupid to realize sasquatch stuff is a thing in BC and alberta as well

Side note: Is this the best way to post shit? With the spoiler tags? Or is just putting the thumbnails better? Feels like it takes up so much thread real estate with just the thumbnails. Probably doesn't matter, like at all, but I'm just curious what the preference is.

Seems to work well the way you're doing it

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Well this is great, as I try to fall asleep tonight I'll have the mental image of a gay guy sashaying over to Lucas to tickle his belly and ask for Cheetos stuck in my head. He's either high on some good stuff that's giving him energy or yeah, he's off his meds. Don't have much to say about hi falling for a scam, not very surprising for the Wern.

 

[WonderWino]

Well this is great, as I try to fall asleep tonight I'll have the mental image of a gay guy sashaying over to Lucas to tickle his belly and ask for Cheetos stuck in my head. He's either high on some good stuff that's giving him energy or yeah, he's off his meds. Don't have much to say about hi falling for a scam, not very surprising for the Wern.

Yeah when you put it that way its quite the image to have stuck in your head. Considering how that doesn't come off as very heterosexual and sounds an awful lot like lucas was paying a gay guy with cheetos in the mental hospital to rub his belly i'm surprised he would admit to it. Then again lucas is an idiot who doesn't think about the stuff he posts most of the time or consider what what many of his previous admissions have implied

as for the scam, I eagerly await lucas's further bragging about his new job and look forward to the scammer deciding lucas has served his purpose and ghosting him, starting him on inevitable getting fucked by paypal without lube saga. It will be hilarious and infuriating to lucas. The only thing that could make it better is if the scammer ends his dealings with lucas by telling him that in order to collect his pay he has to come to the company office in person to get it and flies him down to texas or arizona or some place like that with a random address for an empty lot. Seeing him do a repeat of his LA adventure would be amazing and show how truly greedy and stupid he is to fall for a scam and get conned into ending up penniless yet again in another state. He would never, ever hear the end of it. It might even get him in a situation where he is determined to be so stupid and incompetent that hes a danger to himself and loses his legal autonomy. That would infuriate him even more. Lucas getting stuck in a corner so heavily doped up that he stares at the wall muttering incoherently to himself, randomly shitting himself and sitting in it all day until somebody noticed would be a fitting end to him. Still, depending on how much he gets fucked over for with this scam and how he behaves when it happens jail isn't off the table either, and would probably be a better punishment as lucas is terrified of ending up in jail again. Hence the reason these scams target idiots like lucas, cause they're the ones who end up on the hook for everything. Something lucas hasn't considered either. Has he never stopped to ask why if what he's doing is legal and not a scam, his 'boss' can't just do all this converting money to bitcoin himself? Of course he hasn't. Lucas sees himself as important and deserving of being such a vital cog in the machine that someone needs him to do such a thing

His greed, narcissism and stupidity were always going to be his undoing. One way or another. That should be considered the lolcow triad at this point

 

[AnOminous]

He's also for sure getting scammed with that "cashier" job lol

Yeah at some point they send him a payment for the entirety of his tard bucks, get the Bitcoin from him, then reverse the transaction, leaving him destitute. Good thing for him he has a payee.

 

[BelUwUga]

Yeah at some point they send him a payment for the entirety of his tard bucks, get the Bitcoin from him, then reverse the transaction, leaving him destitute. Good thing for him he has a payee.

They don't even need to reverse the transaction. New reporting requirements means >$600 gets a 1099K from paypal. SSDI requires making <$1,260 month. Two of these $700 payments and the tugboat is in jeopardy. Considering the pseudonymity of bitcoin there's no way for the government to know if he is truly sending it to someone else or to another account he controls. If whoever is running this is paying less than 50% they're doing pretty good for converting cash to bitcoin in an "untraceable" manner. If he lets this run for 15-22 payments he'd run into potential structuring issues and then overcoming the annualized SSDI threshold.

 

[AnOminous]

They don't even need to reverse the transaction.

That's still the oldest form of this scam. People used to do this with Paypal all the time which is why before exchanges became relatively common and subject to banking regulations, you'd always want to use a trusted escrow. I can't imagine Lucas having much to rip off so maybe they are just laundering drug money through him because he's that stupid.

Usually what they'd do is do a few transactions on the up and up and then default once it turned into real money.

 

[HackerX]

That's still the oldest form of this scam. People used to do this with Paypal all the time which is why before exchanges became relatively common and subject to banking regulations, you'd always want to use a trusted escrow. I can't imagine Lucas having much to rip off so maybe they are just laundering drug money through him because he's that stupid.

Usually what they'd do is do a few transactions on the up and up and then default once it turned into real money.

Lol. There's a scenario where Lucas is 101% retarded enough to profit. In a same world that seems stupid, but has he ever done anything correctly? Why the hell would he start now?

 

[WonderWino]

Yeah at some point they send him a payment for the entirety of his tard bucks, get the Bitcoin from him, then reverse the transaction, leaving him destitute. Good thing for him he has a payee.

On that note, its probably not going to be a good look for the payee that lucas gets caught up in a scam like this and ends up in trouble with paypal and the cops. After all one of the reaons said payee was assigned is to keep him from doing blatantly stupid shit with money that could get him into trouble. Somebody will be getting a talking to over that

They don't even need to reverse the transaction. New reporting requirements means >$600 gets a 1099K from paypal. SSDI requires making <$1,260 month. Two of these $700 payments and the tugboat is in jeopardy. Considering the pseudonymity of bitcoin there's no way for the government to know if he is truly sending it to someone else or to another account he controls. If whoever is running this is paying less than 50% they're doing pretty good for converting cash to bitcoin in an "untraceable" manner. If he lets this run for 15-22 payments he'd run into potential structuring issues and then overcoming the annualized SSDI threshold.

I'm not sure even lucas will fall for it that many times, unless the scammer is offering him some kind of pittance each time he does it, which I suspect he does or why would lucas be doing it at all. Like I said earlier something about this just seems like its someone who is familiar enough with lucas to know how manipulate him into getting involved in this and how to keep stringing him along for as long as possible. It may very well be their intention to launder some cash and fuck lucas over for the rest of his life as a side bonus. If the scammer is familiar with lucas they'd know he's a perfect mark not just because of his stupidity and ease of manipulating into cooperating, but because lucas himself has a history of scamming and even publicly admitting to it. So like you said theres no way of knowing if lucas genuinely got scammed or didn't just transfer everything into some account of his nobody knows about to try to rip off the government by making alot more than he's allowed to. Considering his history nobody investigating it is going to give him the benefit of the doubt about it and will be looking at him that much harder the moment they find out about that bit of his history. Especially if lucas starts trying to lie and manipulate his way out of the situation like he always does. That never gets taken as something an innocent person does

That's still the oldest form of this scam. People used to do this with Paypal all the time which is why before exchanges became relatively common and subject to banking regulations, you'd always want to use a trusted escrow. I can't imagine Lucas having much to rip off so maybe they are just laundering drug money through him because he's that stupid.

Usually what they'd do is do a few transactions on the up and up and then default once it turned into real money.

Which is that much more amusing because lucas has exploited this himself back in the day:

...But there was like a month gap. I came up with an idea to scam some money off a young more game-able version of Ebay. I was desperate. I had to pay rent. It was hard for me to talk to my parents then. To put it mildly, Cyril and my mom didn't see eye to eye on things often. I felt like a douche calling them for anything. So, I stole a little money ($400) from some lady with an online Ebay scam. I ripped her off because I needed to pay half the rent, utilities (the computer and phone I hardly ever got a chance to use) food and to survive. It was also kind of shitty that Cyril wasn't sharing the weed anymore and life sucked. I started to withdraw. I'd spend a lot of time alone crying. Cyril was more or less oblivious and Michelle wasn't helping me from slowly starving to death anymore

Regardless of how this ends at this point lucas will be in trouble with paypal, who will have to involve the cops as soon as it becomes clear a scam happened and he is going to have some interesting questions to answer. The reeeeeing about it should be interesting, even moreso because he can't claim he wasn't repeatedly warned this was going to happen. He'll probably get a talking to from someone at mallon place as well. I can't see them being too happy to have the police show up one day wanting to talk to their most infamous resident about a scam he was a part of. Its a nursing home residence not a seedy section 8 fartbox apartment. They tend to take a dim view of that kind of thing. Lucas should be careful what he says in such a discussion or they might figure the money they're getting from him isn't worth potential future police incidents or lucas causing problems as a result and boot him out. Its not like there isn't a waiting list of people who want his apartment and won't cause trouble. The fact lucas is oblivious to how badly this could end for him and is still happily converting the money while wringing his hands like the greedy jew meme says alot about his mentality and what really drives him

No matter where lucas is he seems to just not be able to help himself. He'll jump onto anything he thinks will benefit him even if it'll blatantly fuck him over in the end because he's so convinced he's so much smarter than he is and that even if it goes bad he'll either be able to talk his way out of it, threaten his way out of it, ignore it or manipulate someone else into getting him out of it

Its funny how lucas went from boring and doing almost nothing for a year to a total 180 and getting involved in an obvious scam and setting himself up for a new and entertaining saga almost out of nowhere

Come to think of it, I wonder if the reason he suddenly started posting all that weird manic shit is because the scammer sent him a pittance to keep him hooked and he spent it on a bunch of energy drinks and/or weed. It would explain alot and make sense. Also wouldn't be a good look when he admitted to spending money he received for his part in the scam

The inevitable end to this saga should be quite entertaining. Well, not so much for lucas. He'll be shitting his pants when paypal starts demanding money from him and calls the cops to investigate the scam and lucas's part in it

 

[AnOminous]

The inevitable end to this saga should be quite entertaining. Well, not so much for lucas. He'll be shitting his pants when paypal starts demanding money from him and calls the cops to investigate the scam and lucas's part in it

Paypal writes off bullshit like this all the time and there isn't enough money involved for anyone to care. Maybe he loses his account. Maybe he gets kicked out of Mallon. The payee (if he still has one) has the job of making sure his vital bills get paid. About the worst that could happen is he gets his tard bucks yanked and ends up homeless again.

 

[WonderWino]

Paypal writes off bullshit like this all the time and there isn't enough money involved for anyone to care. Maybe he loses his account. Maybe he gets kicked out of Mallon. The payee (if he still has one) has the job of making sure his vital bills get paid. About the worst that could happen is he gets his tard bucks yanked and ends up homeless again.

Paypal will write off the actual thieves actions, as in the scammer as being more trouble than its worth. But they always, always get money thats owed to them in these situations. Thats why these scammers run their scams this way, because paypal will go after the idiot who was stupid enough to fall for the scam because they did the actual transaction. Paypal is famous for going after people for even miniscule amounts of money they are owed, to the point they've had alot of criticism for it over the years. That and randomly freezing accounts for months at a time without apparent cause so they can earn interest off it for themselves. He'll definitely lose his account. No way he doesn't, it was used in a scam and probable money laundering. His bank account will get anything in it seized to cover the losses and they'll get whatever money you make garnished until you pay whats owed. They'll get their money from lucas one way or another. In this case it'll be garnishing anything thats put in his account and that he gets from his tugboat until its paid. Its in the contract you agree to when you sign up with paypal

Since those transactions are going to crypto conversions, as soon as they realize the transactions were scam related its going to get flagged for likely money laundering, which is something payment processors have to report to the authorities and to the IRS. Being a relatively small amount has nothing to do with it. If anything it supports the idea of a money laundering scam. Better to have a large number of idiots processing small amounts of money and try to stay under the radar than to have a small number do much larger transactions that will get noticed alot easier. Lucas will get investigated over this, as was already pointed out nobody involved can be certain from the start it isn't just lucas trying to pull a scam of his own and dump untraceable bitcoin into some secret accounts of his to get around his own SSDI restrictions and blame it on some random internet scammer. Its not like he'd be the first to try something like that. Not that he has enough brains to do anything of the sort

In short, yeah he will probably not do jail time, unless he gets overtly stupid about things or tries to lie his way out of it when paypal starts asking questions in a way that raises alot of red flags (though lucas being lucas I won't be surprised if he does, considering he lies about everything, especially when he is in trouble. just look at how he behaved with 'mias dad' during that whole mess). That'll make him look like he was a willing and active part of the scam, but he will be paying back whatever amount he has processed for the scammer by the time this is over, one way or another. His handlers might make some kind of deal with paypal about how much they take from him and work out some payment play that doesn't leave him on the street for the sole reason that he's a documented idiot on a tugboat with a history of being stupid as rocks and mental health commitments. But that isn't really a happy ending for him either because that would mean he won't see another penny from his tugboat until its paid off. It goes without saying lucas will be pissed about that and will never stop complaining about it and playing victim over it while completely ignoring the fact it only happened because he got greedy and got himself involved in an obvious scam

On the other hand, maybe that'll be what sets him off on a downward spiral of not giving a shit and going back to being an unmedicated mental case. I could see that going either way. Its not like he'd have anything left to lose at that point

 

[AnOminous]

Paypal is famous for going after people for even miniscule amounts of money they are owed, to the point they've had alot of criticism for it over the years.

Yeah but where are they going to get it from? It's not even legal to seize tard bucks.

 

[WonderWino]

Yeah but where are they going to get it from? It's not even legal to seize tard bucks.

Maybe so but lucas probably doesn't know that and is too incompetent to enforce it even if he did. They'll likely do the usual - immediately grab anything he gets in his bank account as a matter of course and whatever other money related apps he uses like cashapp. Lucas has stated he gets his leftover pittance in check form as opposed to direct deposit. Money is money once its in your bank account and paypal won't know the difference until someone makes an issue out of it so lucas will likely cash his tiny tugboat leftovers and find out he can't withdraw it cause paypal is grabbing whatever they see in his account. a normal person would then call up paypal and dispute this saying its tugboat cash and it would get sorted out. Lucas isn't a normal person and likely doesn't know this so he'll fume and reee online about being flat broke now instead and poor me, and beg for people to send him something....which also gets taken and is absolutely able to be grabbed legally, which will piss him off more. Until and unless someone informs him of the situation with his tugboat cash, he actually believes and understands the fuckup on their part and actually bothers to do something about it rather than assume someone else will on his behalf

At the very least he won't be getting the money he solicits from people online anymore and considering that isn't very much or very often as it is he's going to take a long time to pay off anything that way. I wonder if that'll lead him to demand he just get sent hubgrub directly instead. I also wonder if that means he'll try to come up with even more ways of making money on the side and try to hide that money. Maybe ending up getting himself involved in even more scams out of his own stupidity. Its not like he ever learns

 

[Da Dude123]

Yeah but where are they going to get it from? It's not even legal to seize tard bucks.

I guess they could essentially levy his bank account that was linked to PayPal and get like the $25 a month Lucas has leftover after the payee pays Mallon Place. But absolutely. SSI can only be garnished for child support and possibly unpaid taxes or student loans.


I would think at that point where they are gonna yoinked money off the account Lucas could switch banks or reloadable debit cards and then that would be that. PayPal may have to sue him in court to try to get it back. Which they probably wouldn't. Unless this scheme nets big loses.

I am not certain that Lucas will not just take the money and go on a feeding spree and chow down at Red Robin and Clinkerdaggers. Maybe even some Atilanos? The hell with sending it to some Bitcoin wallet! Let's eat!

Got this off the Brokeposting FB page. Lucas claims to have the laundered money but PayPal is having a "login issue" that may take a couple of days to fix. Not sure if there is any update on this.