Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

So this happened

That said, i'll believe it when I see actual evidence of it. The last time lucas claimed to be employed it was cause he was part of a crypto scam. Nobody in their right mind would let him do anything for them and no wrangler who knows anything at all about lucas's history would want to be responsible for putting him into a situation where he's going to do something stupid and potentially get them in trouble

and even if by some miracle lucas somehow did find someone stupid enough to hire him its not going to last very long and its not going to end well for anyone involved

 

[Father Dharmendra Rada]

So this happened
View attachment 5976312

That said, i'll believe it when I see actual evidence of it. The last time lucas claimed to be employed it was cause he was part of a crypto scam. Nobody in their right mind would let him do anything for them and no wrangler who knows anything at all about lucas's history would want to be responsible for putting him into a situation where he's going to do something stupid and potentially get them in trouble

and even if by some miracle lucas somehow did find someone stupid enough to hire him its not going to last very long and its not going to end well for anyone involved

If true, this surely has to be some sort of hire-a-retard program through a group home or some shit like that, presumably doing some sort of task where he won't have to interact with anybody. I really can't imagine Lucas making it through a job interview for even the most menial position, given that he seems unmedicated right now and that he's physically unable to turn off his schizotypy for even five seconds when he's not on a lobotomizing dose of antipsychotics. If he does have a job, my best guess is that it won't last more than a month - dude is so repulsive and useless that he'll make even the most sympathetic employer hate him, even if they're used to having deranged hobos in their ranks.

 

[not in the cards]

So it looks like he's got a relatively easy menial job. I imagine the hours won't be too long either. But still, there's always a chance of him royally fucking it right up.

 

[WonderWino]

So it looks like he's got a relatively easy menial job. I imagine the hours won't be too long either. But still, there's always a chance of him royally fucking it right up.

Chance? Oh hell no. He will fuck it up, its not if its when

Lets not forget 'loading for delivery' is essentially the same thing as unloading trucks in reverse. The exact same thing he eventually did at mcdonalds in the 90s. The thing he whined about being so hard he needed booze and weed to wind down from every day. The same thing he couldn't handle in the 90s and flat out got fired from, which led to him faking going to work for over a week to hide the fact he got fired from cyril (which he never actually put any thought into how he was going to explain being broke come rent day)

He couldn't do that job without fucking up and getting fired 25 years ago, when he was saner and in far better health. These days he gets out of breath sitting on his bed talking into a camera. and he thinks he can load up delivery trucks? This job isn't going to last very long. Its only a question of whether he gets pissed off and just stops showing up, ragequits cause his boss expects him to actually do his job properly, he gets caught stealing something or gets in trouble for inappropriate behavior, spazzes out and gets fired. Lucas doesn't tolerate the tiniest bit of criticism remember, no matter how appropriate. This is way too physical of a job for him to last at

This arc is not going to end well for him and will not look good on him when he inevitably fucks it up. Assuming he lasts that long rather than keeling over carrying a box 10 feet

 

[Pedophobe]

He's going to fuck up his back in very short order.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Yea this will end with Lucas fucking it up somehow. It is funny it's basically the same job he had 25 years ago which was the last time he worked lmao. What a drain on society

 

[Warm Lasagna]

Again, I have to reiterate, how is this fat diabetic chomo not dead yet? Last I checked he was on dialysis for kidney failure.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

Good on him, he's contributing to society.

 

[WonderWino]

Yea this will end with Lucas fucking it up somehow. It is funny it's basically the same job he had 25 years ago which was the last time he worked lmao. What a drain on society

Thats the best part, he's got essentially the same job he had before and got fired from, out of all the possible jobs out there that could have been given to him it was that one. He's literally managed to find a way to repeat his previous actions expecting a different result. He's pulling an IRL definition of insanity. and you just know a big part of getting that job was because his wrangler asked him what his experience was and he brought up the mcdonalds stuff. Probably telling quite the story about totally not getting fired back in the day

Naturally he's going to be flabbergasted when he inevitably fucks it up and gets fired again and until that happens he's going to bitch and complain about having to get up to work, having to go there and actually do something and then probably waddle back to his fartbox and beg people online to spot him some money to tide him over until payday to get some booze and weed to soothe himself and wind down from the day like he did back in the 90s

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Is he even physically capable of loading a delivery truck?

There’s no way this last longer than two weeks before he is fired or quits.

 

[SteveGoatman]

Is he even physically capable of loading a delivery truck?

There’s no way this last longer than two weeks before he is fired or quits.

100% agree. My guess is that this was the absolute lowest barrier to entry position his job coach could find and that was hiring/would even consider him and basically they looked just at his size and thought he could lift things and put them down. Problem of course is that he's in terrible health and incredibly lazy (along with other things) so this will flame out fast.

 

[37yearolddickrightnow]

2 weeks? Nah, I give it 2 hours maybe. He will probably just slink off when nobody is looking. That's the kind of person he is.

Besides that, I don't think he is physically capable of a manual labor job like loading trucks, unless God forbid, they allow him to operate a forklift or even a pallet jack.

He'll brag about having a job and then it will never be spoken of again.

 

[WonderWino]

Is he even physically capable of loading a delivery truck?

There’s no way this last longer than two weeks before he is fired or quits.

Yeah exactly. Loading trucks is hard work and requires strength and stamina. Both of which lucas is extremely lacking in. He'll try to slack off any way he can but even then he's going to hate every minute, which will quickly create alot of anger and resentment

You'd think lucas would be aware of his own history but then again lucas twists his past into whatever form he feels benefits him most. If anything he's exactly the kind of idiot that made the ideal outer party member in 1984

The best part is lucas is engaging in the capitalism he claims to hate, all out of greed

Somehow I suspect it won't be long before the reeeing about his work day starts

Also, lucas showed yet again he doesn't understand emotes and is acting legit autistic again:

So now a laugh react is 'hate' says the guy who calls himself a comedian. Your autism is showing lucas. Such a short post but you can feel the utter confusion in his barely functional brain as he tries to figure out if he's being fucked with or not

Besides that, I don't think he is physically capable of a manual labor job like loading trucks, unless God forbid, they allow him to operate a forklift or even a pallet jack.

They won't let him use a forklift, that shit requires actual training and a forklift license. He'd cause an accident and OSHA would fuck everybody over

But yeah, I can see him getting through a shift rationalizing the difficulty as it being the first time hes done any of this stuff in 25 years. Then the next day he'll either wake up aching all over, won't go in or call in sick and get fired or go in, get lazy and shit and end up walking away or getting fired. Coming up with some kind of bs excuse about how he didn't get fired, he quit cause his boss was an evil bigot capitalist trump supporter or some shit

 

[bliblblblbbllb]

In my area, there's a "workfare" type program seemingly designed for utter failure-type people like this, which works like this:

Spoiler: Example of a workfare program

You work 8-16 hours per week- yes, sometimes it is as little as two four-hour shifts per week! And a city minibus will pick your ass up and drive you there.

For most of the jobs, a job coach is on site and there's a few other workfare people at the same time. Most of the jobs were either some sort of industrial (rather than domestic) cleaning, loading/unloading, or packaging, like putting labels on boxes.

They only got paid a small stipend in cash (like 100 per week) BUT this money did not count against EBT or any disability or other benefits they recieved, AND they got a free spot in the local projects i.e. free shitty apartment. And a case worker.
So in practice they typically had about 250 per month in EBT, a free phone through the ACP, free apartment, free bus pass, and 400 per month spending money, all for working two days a week.

The weird part was the program was limited to 3 years, and then you weren't eligible for a few years.... The idea being that you'd get a real job ofc, but... I rarely saw these people end up getting real jobs because they were so utterly incompatible with work and basic responsibility. It was most common that they would be dropped for not showing up to work or being sentenced to time in jail/prison, because they were basically all out of control drug users. Good program on paper, in reality I can't say I saw more than two people out of two dozen that seemed to actually benefit longterm.

There's not really a good solution for "chronic losers", you can't make them change if they don't want to.

 

[VoidFace]

So it looks like he's got a relatively easy menial job. I imagine the hours won't be too long either. But still, there's always a chance of him royally fucking it right up.
View attachment 5976694

I don't believe for a second he got any kind of job, let alone one which requires even the slightest manual labor. He's as strong as an old salad, and he couldn't do something as easy as make fries for more than a couple hours before he quit.

Either this is all a lie or someone/some agency is forcing him to work. Lucas would never work willingly. I'll believe this when I see him in a uniform.

 

[Hooked on phobics]

I sincerely hope the guy can turn shit around. I mean probably not but, still.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Naturally he's going to be flabbergasted when he inevitably fucks it up and gets fired again and until that happens he's going to bitch and complain about having to get up to work,

I can't wait til he figures out he just took the only job he's ever had and hated. I bet the chimp out will be nuclear

Yeah exactly. Loading trucks is hard work and requires strength and stamina. Both of which lucas is extremely lacking in.

If it was ANYBODY else in the world, I'd say they would build muscle while they worked but this is Lucas and the only thing he has a muscle in is the part of the brain that whines and bitchs. If bitching was a Olympic sport he would be the gold medalist every damn year

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Lucas Werner got a job? That should be some type of NEET propaganda campaign: This fat idiot has a job, why don't you?

That said I get the impression that he gets the impression that having a job will immediately turn him into a socially fluid individual who'll be just like all the regular guys and may even, dare I say, land him a zoomer bae.

Once the reality hits him that work actually involves work, and that getting friends and dates is usually more involved than going online to flex your 12 hour work week and throw out offers to take chicks to Olive Garden, he's going to be ready to leave.
That's if he's even physically capable of doing the job to begin with and isn't out on the first day.

I sincerely hope the guy can turn shit around. I mean probably not but, still.

That would rob the thread of content, but it would be worth it to witness a genuine modern miracle.

 

[Todd Weiss]

Within 24 hours, he'll have plantar fasciitis so bad he'll crawl to the bathroom. He's not used to being on his feet for prolonged periods. Add in the diabetic ulcers, thin skin, etc...

Unemployed, forced into a boot, all while pissing & moaning over "reasonable accommodation" for his fat ass; no later than June 1st.

 

[VoidFace]

I sincerely hope the guy can turn shit around. I mean probably not but, still.

I'm not sure any of us are ready, or betting, on a Wern redemption arc...though it would of course be the best thing for him.