Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[not in the cards]

I don't believe for a second he got any kind of job, let alone one which requires even the slightest manual labor. He's as strong as an old salad, and he couldn't do something as easy as make fries for more than a couple hours before he quit.

Either this is all a lie or someone/some agency is forcing him to work. Lucas would never work willingly. I'll believe this when I see him in a uniform.

I think he's been forced into this. Or maybe his greed has goaded him into getting some kind of job because he's getting fed up with not having any money left to spend it on all that junk food he craves.

Chance? Oh hell no. He will fuck it up, its not if its when

I sincerely hope the guy can turn shit around. I mean probably not but, still.

Here me out on this. What if, all that physical work finally sends him over the edge and kills him? what if after a shift his heart can't take it and he finally croaks? And that my friends is how he redeems himself. He dies just after contributing to society in some capacity but right before he chimps out and ruins everything. This is the only realistic way he can have any kind of redemption.

 

[Hidden Shopkeeper]

okay, thought experiment. say he has the job. and say he actually works it for a good amount of time ().

what next? does he somehow save up to move out? is he still stuck in the home forever? does he just "save" up the money to constantly buy food?

 

[WonderWino]

okay, thought experiment. say he has the job. and say he actually works it for a good amount of time ().

what next? does he somehow save up to move out? is he still stuck in the home forever? does he just "save" up the money to constantly buy food?

If by some miracle he did somehow avoid getting fired, quitting or ending up in the hospital from over exerting himself carrying boxes, he pointed out its part time work so only a few hours a week most likely. I suspect he'll make a few hundred a month at best. Lucas being lucas will spend it as quickly as he gets it. Mostly on food and probably some alcohol, while probably going back to his demands for zoomer baes to date him for sushi and steaks

and as always nobody will be interested

That said I wonder, if lucas somehow manages to last longer than expected at his job, if prior to his inevitable chimpout, he goes full socialist and starts reeeing to his sped coworkers about how they all need to unionize and demand higher pay and fewer hours, despite the fact he probably gets like 10 hours a week, and ends up getting fired when someone complains about it for trying to start shit. Its exactly the kind of thing i'd expect from him. Hearing him spaz out at his fellow coworkers when they ignore him or tell him to stfu and stop bothering them and lucas going off about how he thought they were all for workers and socialists and for bernie would be peak lucas. He'd be screeching about being fired for being s socialist and trying to make himself a socialist bernie martyr for years

I can see it now: I was beaten with bats for you zoomer baes! I bled for you! I was fired for you! Most socialist generation ever! It'll feed into his narcissism and persecution complex even more. Before long he'll have himself convinced he was fired for being a socialist bernie supporter fighting for workers right rather than for being a lazy, incompetent idiot who couldn't do the job

I also suspect he's already got grand plans for expensive steak and sushi dinners and that vacation to hawaii he was reeing about multiple times already, where he can flash his big bux that he totally earned himself like a big boy for all the big titted zoomer beach baes that don't know anything about him

Lucas getting trapped in hawaii by his own stupidity and with his own money will be even more hilarious than if he was catfished there like LA

But yeah, a working wern saga should be quite the amusing experience, for however long it will last. The posts, memes and inevitable angry videos will be a foundational piece of wernology when they come out and will have an honored place in its archives

 

[Pedophobe]

what next? does he somehow save up to move out? is he still stuck in the home forever? does he just "save" up the money to constantly buy food?

Food. He spends all of his first pay on steak and sushi. Tries to pick up chicks with the promise of a fine dining experience after his next payday. Quits or is fired before then. Blames capitalism for maliciously interfering with his lovequest.

 

[WonderWino]

Food. He spends all of his first pay on steak and sushi. Tries to pick up chicks with the promise of a fine dining experience after his next payday. Quits or is fired before then. Blames capitalism for maliciously interfering with his lovequest.

Yeah exactly. Completely ignoring the fact he's done the same thing for over a decade now to absolutely no success. Lucas is the walking definition of the definition of insanity

That said they really should make lucas wear an actual suit and tie to work, just to piss him off. It would be great for creating capitalist wern memes

 

[VoidFace]

okay, thought experiment. say he has the job. and say he actually works it for a good amount of time ().

what next? does he somehow save up to move out? is he still stuck in the home forever? does he just "save" up the money to constantly buy food?

Eating out, buying copious amounts of cheese to eat at home, and board games he will never play because he is both too stupid to understand them and has no friends.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

okay, thought experiment. say he has the job. and say he actually works it for a good amount of time ().

what next? does he somehow save up to move out? is he still stuck in the home forever? does he just "save" up the money to constantly buy food?

Burns it all at expensive restaurants within a week.

Moving out isn't even a possibility unless he moves from Washington state or magically gets a high paying job.

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

He will spend it all on weed and food. No way he would save some up to move out. This is the way Che Guevara would win the war! If manages to save up any money he will try to bribe a Zoomer to fuck him err go out to eat dinner with him like he did that time he had a grand

 

[Da Dude123]

The cow is already thinking of how he will spend all that money he is going to make. He thinks it will be plenty good. I wonder what Mallon Place is gonna do when his retard bux are reduced due to him working and they can't get as much for rent? Oh, Lucas will mooo and reeee if Mallon Place tells him he is short on rent.

I'm guessing he starts Monday. Yeah, I do not see this lasting long. I would not even be surprised if he quit after 1 day. I'm thinking the place he is going to be working at knows they hired an exceptional individual and they are doing it for a tax break. But even still they may tell his human services rep that he is not working out, when he starts his cow antics. I wonder how many hours he will be working? I know the first $65 a month he makes is not garnishable.

Lucas is not cut out for working. He has been living off the government and handouts for so long, it's all he knows. And he is fat and lazy and autistic, working is not something he will like.

 

[Hidden Shopkeeper]

Maybe I'm a sped and can't remember, but-
1. he still gets government gibs that Mallon takes a cut?
2. doesn't he still get food stamps that again, Mallon takes a cut of?

at that point, wouldn't they take a cut of his earnings?

also:

View attachment 5981207

"scam" lmao

 

[Da Dude123]

Maybe I'm a sped and can't remember, but-
1. he still gets government gibs that Mallon takes a cut?
2. doesn't he still get food stamps that again, Mallon takes a cut of?

at that point, wouldn't they take a cut of his earnings?

also:

"scam" lmao

Yes. From what I understand the first $65 earned in a month is free from his tugboat getting garnished. After that, for every $2 he earns, the tugboat is reduced by $1. Now, this may take a month or so to take effect. But if his tardbux are reduced by too much Mallon Place will come after Lucas to pay them the remaining rent that they could not get from his tugboat.

He will chimpout when that happens. He will moooo about the greedy landlord and that his money is for $70 steak dinners and weed. If he is still working at that point, he may very well throw in the towel.

As for his food stamps being reduced? I'm not sure. That may end up happening. And Lucas will be mooing about the bigots reducing his welfare.

 

[Club Sandwich]

As for his food stamps being reduced? I'm not sure.

SNAP benefits are federally funded, but state administrated and vary by state. typically they cannot be garnished because they are not cash assistance. however the exact implementation might be eligible for reduction or garnishment if you withdraw EBT as part of a cash assistance program (which not everyone on SNAP is qualified for, it's a separate thing that uses the same debit system). it's possible to earn yourself out of SNAP though.

TANF also can be reduced if you fall out of various qualifies into another bracket, but typically they are not subject to seizure or garnishment. the requirement for both of these (and other similar programs, at least in California) is your Payment Verification System report through your state's administration office (in CA it's EDD for programs like CalFresh). if the PVS shows income reported by an employer, that can lead to reduction of benefits. that's not garnishment since the cash, if it is ever cash, never reaches the household. the logic is that if you are employed gainfully and earning over a specific amount, your benefits are redundant and will be reduced, and cash assistance that never is in the control of the beneficiary (like if it's garnished for debt or is directly paying for medical services) is not actual income.

many of these benefits are time-limited (TANF) or require re-qualifying each year (SNAP) where you are assessed for continuing eligibility and the actual amount of benefit you qualify for. not doing this generally get benefits automatically removed, and lying is fraud, a criminal offense.

stuff like cash from SSDI or VA benefits like pension or retirement generally cannot be garnished at all without very specific situations like waiving the protection or mixing funds. someone with a payee, like in Lucas' situation, probably can keep the book straight to avoid this since it's part of the job of tard wrangling. however, if Lucas is mingling funds himself, manages to earn enough to affect SSDI benefit amount, or the employer files for tax breaks or reports his income (extremely likely) then at some point it's likely some of his welfare will be re-assessed and possibly reduced via a set scale (it varies year to year but typically as mentioned it's $2 earned reduces cash benefits by $1).

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

As for his food stamps being reduced? I'm not sure. That may end up happening. And Lucas will be mooing about the bigots reducing his welfare.

Yes. Amounts are based on many things so it's hard to calculate. But, if Lucas was working any amount, he would get less than the max.

 

[WonderWino]

So essentially lucas can make $65/month freely without it counting against his tugboat money but once he hits $66 or more money starts getting deducted from his tugboat at a rate of $1 for every $2 he makes from his job?

We already know that after mallon place gets its cut and such he has $13 to his name per month So it follows that if lucas were to make $91 per month it would cancel out what he gets leftover from his tugboat and leave him reliant on funds he earns himself from his job. At $92 he'd be at the point where mallon place isn't getting their full cut from his tugboat and will start expecting lucas to pay for it out of his own pocket. Earning any more than that will just dig the hole deeper for him in that regard. Seeing as he already said its part time work, which probably means only a few hundred dollars a month. Probably guaranteed to be well under $1000, assuming lucas actually sticks through it long enough to start regularly getting paid his full hours he's going to end up paying a fair amount out of hand to mallon place. Or rather, he will in theory, cause we all know how lucas is with money and how that will go. He'll blow it as fast as he makes it and end up not being able to pay the difference for his housing. Mallon place won't like that and lucas will absolutely not like being told his work money has to now go to mallon place to let him continue living there. Lucas will not be happy about having to work to maintain what he was previously getting for free and sitting on his ass and theres no way that ends well for him

I'll laugh my ass off if when all is said and done it ends up working out that lucas ends up having to work to stay in mallon place and only ends up with essentially the same amount of spending money per month he had before he started working after the deductions for what he makes against the tugboat. He'd be big, big mad at that one and would inevitably have a chimpout over it. I wonder if they'd start noticing the shit he grifts online at that point and counting that against his tugboat as well. Suddenly lucas is working and fucking himself over to the point he has literally nothing to spend for months at a time

That would be peak lucas. Always finding a way to fuck himself over

Somehow I suspect this saga will end with him getting fired, rage quitting or fucking himself over financially to where he gets into shit with mallon place and told to pay up from his own money or gtfo. We know he's spaz out in the moment and pick the latter option cause lucas doesn't like to be told what to do and he worked like a jew in auschwitz slaving away for that pay and he has more important plans for it than giving it to greedy capitalist mallon place and he totally likes to live in shelters, prefers it even cause hes around people as he has said in the past

I'm only entertaining the possibility of it getting that far because lucas is stubborn and greedy and can already taste the steaks he's going to buy and the women he's going to fuck with that money so his greed will drive him to quietly seethe and work - for awhile, in the name of getting what he wants and feels entitled to. But that seething will build and build until he loses his shit on someone. Its only a question of how long he can hold his crazy in and bite his tongue and how many times he'll get paid before it happens

 

[Club Sandwich]

So essentially lucas can make $65/month freely without it counting against his tugboat money but once he hits $66 or more money starts getting deducted from his tugboat at a rate of $1 for every $2 he makes from his job?

more or less. the exact amount can be substantially higher but Lucas has no dependents and has no specific exemptions i'm aware of. there are some programs that increase the amount of money you're able to "bank" from receiving income but generally at around $1550 you lose all SSDI cash benefit although things like medicare or specific assistance programs for food/rent/utilities/cellphone et c might not be affected. they're all separate programs and administrated separately but count together towards your benefits package, it's very complex and there's a reason why there are social service specialists for this sort of thing.

honestly, while it's funny to imagine Lucas tard raging over working for what he has now instead of getting ahead, what's likely is for the income to be reported and paid to the payee, not to Lucas. at that point, since the income wouldn't be under Lucas' control (payee would likely bank it for emergencies or something for Lucas whether he wants it or not), his place at Mallon isn't likely at risk. his might only get like $50 though, out of possibly several hundred with the rest being in a savings account under the control of the payee.

 

[Da Dude123]

more or less. the exact amount can be substantially higher but Lucas has no dependents and has no specific exemptions i'm aware of. there are some programs that increase the amount of money you're able to "bank" from receiving income but generally at around $1550 you lose all SSDI cash benefit although things like medicare or specific assistance programs for food/rent/utilities/cellphone et c might not be affected. they're all separate programs and administrated separately but count together towards your benefits package, it's very complex and there's a reason why there are social service specialists for this sort of thing.

honestly, while it's funny to imagine Lucas tard raging over working for what he has now instead of getting ahead, what's likely is for the income to be reported and paid to the payee, not to Lucas. at that point, since the income wouldn't be under Lucas' control (payee would likely bank it for emergencies or something for Lucas whether he wants it or not), his place at Mallon isn't likely at risk. his might only get like $50 though, out of possibly several hundred with the rest being in a savings account under the control of the payee.

I did not think of that. That is a whole other scenario. If the money Lucas will make will be paid to the payee. I would think if Lucas knew that, he would not go through with working. Because Lucas is a plenty good big boy and can manage his money fine. Thank you very much.

If he wants to blow his paycheck on $70 steak dinners and a night at the Motel 6 then he should be able to do so without limitation. Stop being a bigot and stop being agephobic! That's Lucas's money not the tard wrangler's!

I wonder if Lucas even knows that his tugboat would decrease with him working? I imagine this was explained to him, but he probably chose not to believe it, since it isn't what he wants to hear. If the money is going to his payee or if it is gonna go into an Able Account, then Lucas will be big mad and will moooo and reeee, hopefully on video.

For those that don't know, people on tardbux can only have at anytime, $2000 in liquid assets to their name. However, they can open what is known as an "Able account". Able accounts allow people on SSI to save more than $2000. The money in an Able account can only go to very specific things. Housing, medical expenses, education, are the main ones. $70 steak dinners and vacations to Hawaii are not on the list of acceptable uses for Able account funds.

Lucas would never ever be able to have more than $2000 to his name. No way he would ever get to that point. But I could see the payee opening one up to assist with with necessary things that Lucas would never voluntarily save for.

 

[WonderWino]

Thats a good point. Lucas hasn't been allowed to handle his own money for years at this point and was forced to report to his wrangler weekly for a a cheque for his tugboat before mallon place started taking almost all of it. Theres a good chance the same will apply to whatever money he makes from his job. Something that will piss him off to no end if its the case. Makes sense though given the situation. It would be hilarious if lucas got talked into opening an able account he couldn't touch for most of his money for the purposes of saving to go back to college, which we know will never happen. Having to work for money he'd never get to use for something he'd never do would make him big mad. Having to pay to fuck around and creep on zoomer baes when daddy government paid it in full before would piss him off even more

As for how much lucas actually knows (and more importantly understands) about how working will effect his current tugboat is a good question. We know lucas is an idiot who doesn't understand shit even when its repeatedly explained to him and needs everyone else to do everything but sign paperwork where he's told. No doubt he was told a bunch of stuff about it, nodded pretending to understand without really paying attention or having any real understanding of what he was being told and just agreeing to it and assuming everything will work out in his favor and be handled for him so he totally doesn't need to think about it. Then ten minutes later promptly forgot about it and started focusing on his next meal. Somehow I suspect he's going to be....displeased by the amount he actually makes from his job and the kind of access he has to that money. To say nothing of how much lucas is going to despise working. He likely has forgotten just how much he hated it back in the day, especially with dollar signs in his eyes and the taste of expensive steaks on his tongue. No matter how this goes there is going to be some chimping out from lucas about something before too long


Well thats a horrifying mental image. So much for all the claims lucas made of doing the very thing he admits never happened here. We've seen enough of his tongue to know she'd have to be insane to let that thing anywhere near her

 

[VoidFace]

Well thats a horrifying mental image. So much for all the claims lucas made of doing the very thing he admits never happened here. We've seen enough of his tongue to know she'd have to be insane to let that thing anywhere near her

I'm becoming more and more convinced that Lucas is actually a virgin, it would explain so many things about his poor understanding of sex. He seemingly has no idea how it works, what a clitoris is, or even that women don't want to be hand-puppets.

Wern is a 45+ year old virgin, I'm just about ready to die on this hill.

 

[The I Scream Man]

I'm becoming more and more convinced that Lucas is actually a virgin, it would explain so many things about his poor understanding of sex. He seemingly has no idea how it works, what a clitoris is, or even that women don't want to be hand-puppets.

Wern is a 45+ year old virgin, I'm just about ready to die on this hill.

I think he's fucked before, I think he's just extraordinarily bad at it. To elaborate further upon my personal theory: Suzanne probably gave him the opportunity, saw he had no idea how and/or his tiny fuckin dick wasn't up to the task, tried to teach him how to do other stuff to get her off and he was either resistant to teaching, couldn't do it right with any amount of coaching or some combination of the two. Realizing he was a big fat dope and a pure manchild to boot she just resigned herself to vanilla forever whenever she couldn't avoid it by saying she had a headache or something... I'll bet you guys five bucks she had a Hitachi that got a lot of mileage, and another fiver says she was waiting for an excuse to break up with him and the glass of water at the wall incident was the perfect opportunity (edit: little more on the latter, I think she was waiting but she didn't understand how deep his retardation and anger issues go, so she was trying to find a way to let him down easy until she realized she might be in danger and moved quickly from there)

I think his poor understanding of sex (which is definitely the case) comes from two sources: egregious porn consumption and very limited personal experience, these two coupled with the fact that he's already a sub-80 IQ retard means he's extra dangerous to women because he believes wholeheartedly he's Leisure Suit Lucas but once the lady in question laughs at his tiny dick or his inability to do anything the concern is that he'll fly into a rage and manage to injure her somehow

 

[Da Dude123]

I think he's fucked before, I think he's just extraordinarily bad at it. To elaborate further upon my personal theory: Suzanne probably gave him the opportunity, saw he had no idea how and/or his tiny fuckin dick wasn't up to the task, tried to teach him how to do other stuff to get her off and he was either resistant to teaching, couldn't do it right with any amount of coaching or some combination of the two. Realizing he was a big fat dope and a pure manchild to boot she just resigned herself to vanilla forever whenever she couldn't avoid it by saying she had a headache or something... I'll bet you guys five bucks she had a Hitachi that got a lot of mileage, and another fiver says she was waiting for an excuse to break up with him and the glass of water at the wall incident was the perfect opportunity (edit: little more on the latter, I think she was waiting but she didn't understand how deep his retardation and anger issues go, so she was trying to find a way to let him down easy until she realized she might be in danger and moved quickly from there)

I think his poor understanding of sex (which is definitely the case) comes from two sources: egregious porn consumption and very limited personal experience, these two coupled with the fact that he's already a sub-80 IQ retard means he's extra dangerous to women because he believes wholeheartedly he's Leisure Suit Lucas but once the lady in question laughs at his tiny dick or his inability to do anything the concern is that he'll fly into a rage and manage to injure her somehow

Lol@ Leisure Suit Lucas! Oh, man. Like the old Leisure Suit Larry games. That is exactly who Lucas thinks he is!