Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[VoidFace]

O Christmas Wern, O Christmas Wern, it will never be in the caaaarrds.

 

[WonderWino]

He really is on about eva braun lately, despite clearly not having a clue who or what she actually was. and of course a self described male feminist preaches about domestic violence despite being guilty of it himself and spending the last week talking like a barely contained rapist

Its not in the christmas cards lucas

Now eat, drink and be merry, knowing lucas will be seething all day with nothing to look forward to but a shitty frozen tv dinner tier turkey dinner. I wonder if he'll show it off later

 

[HackerX]

O Christmas Wern, O Christmas Wern, it will never be in the caaaarrds.

Hrm. That's a new twist. Instead of "everyone I don't like is Hitler" is now "every woman that doesn't like me is Eva Braun".

This has probably been asked at some point, but I've got a thought experiment. Imagine a makebelieve bizarro world where a woman is interested in Lucas. This woman is 20-something, attractive, a devout Christian, and staunch conservative. Ignore the obvious contradictions about a woman like that also being interested in Lucas. Does he mellow down the insanity, pretend to not be a rabid atheist and leftist, to score the mystical puss puss? Or does he lose out on the opportunity by trying to convince her God doesn't exist?

It's interesting because Lucas has no qualms about lying about almost everything, but I don't think he's capable of containing the tardrage when it comes down to religion and/or politics. If there's one thing that can sway his beliefs, it's puss puss, but that may not even be strong enough.

 

[Kingfisher9000]

Hrm. That's a new twist. Instead of "everyone I don't like is Hitler" is now "every woman that doesn't like me is Eva Braun".

This has probably been asked at some point, but I've got a thought experiment. Imagine a makebelieve bizarro world where a woman is interested in Lucas. This woman is 20-something, attractive, a devout Christian, and staunch conservative. Ignore the obvious contradictions about a woman like that also being interested in Lucas. Does he mellow down the insanity, pretend to not be a rabid atheist and leftist, to score the mystical puss puss? Or does he lose out on the opportunity by trying to convince her God doesn't exist?

It's interesting because Lucas has no qualms about lying about almost everything, but I don't think he's capable of containing the tardrage when it comes down to religion and/or politics. If there's one thing that can sway his beliefs, it's puss puss, but that may not even be strong enough.

Nah, he’s made it pretty clear that the main reason he doesn’t believe in god is because god hasn’t given him a girlfriend. If a cute Christian chick wanted to date him, he’d instantly declare he was a believer. I honestly don’t think he has any real convictions whatsoever. Even the leftist schtick is mostly just a ploy to get puss.

 

[Duke Nukem]

Nah, he’s made it pretty clear that the main reason he doesn’t believe in god is because god hasn’t given him a girlfriend. If a cute Christian chick wanted to date him, he’d instantly declare he was a believer. I honestly don’t think he has any real convictions whatsoever. Even the leftist schtick is mostly just a ploy to get puss.

I find it hilarious that he blames "conservative Republicans" for his inability to get a girlfriend when in reality it's literally everything else about him.

If there's some kind of crazy religious cult that uses the promise of puss puss for its believers, I'm amazed they haven't tried to recruit this guy.

He'd probably go full blown "God Warrior" if he thought it would get him laid.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

I think a lot of his dating "advice" is him obsessing over what he thinks were missed opritunities and what he should have done with Ms. Limp Face filtered through his narcissism.

Not that being in your 30s and 40s and dating mid 20s women is that uncommon. Plenty of women prefer older men.

It actually is though. 60% of people in a relationship are with someone within 3 years of themselves. Another 20% are with someone within 5 years of themselves, and another 10% with someone within 10 years. Honestly, the vast majority of people who are into large age gaps, of either sex, are BPD trainwrecks who were molested. It's part of what makes Lucas' mooing so stupid. He wants something that's already at LGB levels of rarity while being bottom of the barrel even for women his age.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

It actually is though. 60% of people in a relationship are with someone within 3 years of themselves. Another 20% are with someone within 5 years of themselves, and another 10% with someone within 10 years. Honestly, the vast majority of people who are into large age gaps, of either sex, are BPD trainwrecks who were molested. It's part of what makes Lucas' mooing so stupid. He wants something that's already at LGB levels of rarity while being bottom of the barrel even for women his age.

It's like I tried to explain to him a few years back. I don't know what I'd have in common with a 20 year old at this point in my life. My goals and desires are very different than they were 20 years ago. Additionally, we don't have the same cultural commonalities that people in the same age bracket share.

I think the big difference between normal folks in their 40's and Lucas is that most people's personalities, goals and situations have changed rather significantly over the last couple decades where as Lucas's haven't. I'm concerned about my mortgage, my kid's education, retirement and the vintage convertible in the garage that I bought for my midlife crisis. Lucas is concerned about getting copious amounts of food and porking a >20 year old.

He hasn't progressed, his situation is roughly the same as it was 20 years ago. He's living on the dole, he's broke, he's single and there is little chance and even less motivation to change that. Whatever he gets out of life he expects to be handed to him, because everything in his life (as meager as it may be) has been handed to him.

For example, the highlight of his coming year is for someone to take him out for drinks, pick up a girl for him and then let him bang her in his spare bedroom (or couch or whatever).

He's basically a moronic 14 year old in the body of an obese 45 year old. If he wasn't such a vile human being, it would be sad.

 

[teleméres69]

"What quality woman would date this subhuman filth?"
This is what every woman who has ever interacted with Lucas asks themselves

O Christmas Wern, O Christmas Wern, it will never be in the caaaarrds.

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

Every day, Lucas looks more and more like a character in a Jack Chick tract designed to teach us about the spiritual dangers of over consuming junk food and pornography

 

[Kingfisher9000]

It's like I tried to explain to him a few years back. I don't know what I'd have in common with a 20 year old at this point in my life. My goals and desires are very different than they were 20 years ago. Additionally, we don't have the same cultural commonalities that people in the same age bracket share.

I tried to date a chick 8 years younger than me once and it was weird as fuck. She’d never heard of Neverending Story.

 

[VoidFace]

Another few videos. First one with more of the Wern pretending he will go to a bar and talk to a woman, second another shirtless in Spokane rant that shows he is so totally over that woman who turned him down, third some science ramblings, Wernmas continues:

Apparently his “wingman” is a theist, who “prayed to god to get Lucas a girlfriend.”

Yeah there is a 0% chance this is anything other than a setup to fuck with Lucas.

 

[Fatal Walter]

He's really been reminding me of Wern 2.0 lately. Which obviously turned out to be nothing. But even in concept, it was just him walking up to a woman and talking to her, unlike normal.

 

[VoidFace]

He's really been reminding me of Wern 2.0 lately. Which obviously turned out to be nothing. But even in concept, it was just him walking up to a woman and talking to her, unlike normal.

I really hope we get to that again, full-of-completely-unearned-confidence-Wern is one of my favorite variants…right up there with tough guy Wern.

Also: new video. He has decided women date republicans because they have rape fantasies. Idk if it is a Freudian slip but he talks about the “violence for women act” (as opposed to the “violence against women act”). I’m sure the Wern deciding every woman he’s interested in has a secret rape fantasy isn’t concerning in the least, this is all completely normal behavior/thinking for people who are plenty good

 

[WonderWino]

Another few videos. First one with more of the Wern pretending he will go to a bar and talk to a woman, second another shirtless in Spokane rant that shows he is so totally over that woman who turned him down, third some science ramblings, Wernmas continues:

Apparently his “wingman” is a theist, who “prayed to god to get Lucas a girlfriend.”

Yeah there is a 0% chance this is anything other than a setup to fuck with Lucas.

The fact lucas doesn't notice stuff being thrown in there specifically to fuck with him like the guy being a theist speaks for itself. He ignores every warning flag there is, no matter how blatantly obvious, if he thinks he can use somebody for his own benefit. Did the same thing with the LA trip when he got the email update for the 'itsnotinthecards werner' carry on infant. Some psycho cannibal dahmer type would have no trouble whatsoever luring lucas into a bad situation to turn him into a wern stew if he ran into one of those types. Shit, picking people up at bars and taking them home to slip drugs into their drinks was dahmers MO for awhile. Funny thing is his region has had its share of serial killer types, so its kind of funny that as famous as he is nobody ever targeted him for something more serious than catfishing just to fuck with him

and he looks fucked in the head in that video, like he's drunk or medicated

and of course he holds off spazzing out at someone calling themselves a theist and praying for lucas to get a girlfriend, cause he sees a benefit in behaving himself. It shows how manipulative he is and that his chimpouts are largely performative or him deliberately working himself up into looney state for his own gain. and even then that weird statement about 'science and reason' is a bizarre way to twist it around. The fuck does science or reason have to do with walking up to someone and saying they're attractive and giving your name? Thats the most basic pickup line in existence. You'd think even lucas, as stupid as he is would at least know that

Hes still talking blatantly false bs about trump as well. He didn't go to pedo island lucas and he cut off contact and kicked him off his properties when he noticed the guy was starting to act creepy. Those aren't the actions of a pedo. But leave it to a pedo to point fingers at another pedo, its literally a predatory tactic they do. To the point some of them have even been busted doing pedo hunting shit themselves to point suspicion at others and get rid of competition

He's really been reminding me of Wern 2.0 lately. Which obviously turned out to be nothing. But even in concept, it was just him walking up to a woman and talking to her, unlike normal.

He claimed Wern 2.0 was fresh out of beta testing and it still never launched. Fuck looking for jobs at walmart, lucas has a bright future ahead of him at ubisoft or EA marketing departments. Somehow I suspect the Wern 2.1 bar hotfix isn't going to fare very well if it goes live

I really hope we get to that again, full-of-completely-unearned-confidence-Wern is one of my favorite variants…right up there with tough guy Wern.

Also: new video. He has decided women date republicans because they have rape fantasies. Idk if it is a Freudian slip but he talks about the “violence for women act” (as opposed to the “violence against women act”). I’m sure the Wern deciding every woman he’s interested in has a secret rape fantasy isn’t concerning in the least, this is all completely normal behavior/thinking for people who are plenty good

All lucas needs is the glasses and he looks and acts exactly like bubbles in jrocs greasy bare pimp project porno

Looks like some greasy shit he'd try to get involved with in the woods of spokane

and wtf is it with him and german shit recently? First he's talking nonsense about eva braun and now he's accusing women of being rape obsessed hausfraus, while also clearly describing what he himself wants. and what the fuck? Hausfrau mode of 1950s america?! Does he even realize that is a german term that if anything describes the german view of women in the nazi era? The 50s aren't what he seems to think they were

More proof lucas doesn't recognize when its obvious he's being fucked with:

Not only that, he's clearly not put off by the idea of getting some young girl AND having some other zoomer get pregnant by him. Despite the fact he screeches about greed and people being greedy just for being in the physical presence of more than one woman

You're greedy lucas

 

[HackerX]

Yeah there is a 0% chance this is anything other than a setup to fuck with Lucas.

Lucas being oblivious and falling for a plainly obvious troll that's getting his hopes up? TBH, I wouldn't expect anything less. I've been reading old highlights and there's one where Wernology said that Lucas can be easily manipulated as long as it's not blatantly obvious, but I've got no idea where that threshold is if he's falling for this.

 

[Krathnami]

Not Lucas making a video where he implies the object of his desire wants to be raped

 

[VoidFace]

Yet more mooing while wandering around at night, including some incoherence about knocking off Hitlers hat in the middle of the road accidentally? If anyone can make heads or tails of that you’ll have to explain it to me because I have no idea what he’s trying to say or reference. Trump is also, apparently, the “worst person on the planet.” Let’s just set aside the politics, and even assume everything he’s accused Trump of is true, just for the sake of argument: Lucas there are dictators that make sure their detractors fall out of windows on the regular. There are dictators who imprison generations of families if one person in the family even tries to escape. And that is without getting into the existence of serial rapists, murderers, child molesters, people who are right now treating their children like animals and locking them in cages/abusing them. I didn’t vote for the guy but even I can say “yeah, no, far from the worst person on the planet.”

 

[NoosJunki]

There's a certain saying about rocks and glass houses that comes to mind here, Lucas...

 

[HackerX]

Yet more mooing while wandering around at night, including some incoherence about knocking off Hitlers hat in the middle of the road accidentally? If anyone can make heads or tails of that you’ll have to explain it to me because I have no idea what he’s trying to say or reference.

He's saying if he were to physically meet Hitler, he'd knock his hat off him and he doesn't care if it's in the middle of the road.

- Hitler was always known for his hats.

- Why is he assuming he'd randomly meet Hitler in the middle of the road? His theory of mind is so lacking, he doesn't understand that people (other than bums) don't walk in the road.

He's been awfully consumed with WW2 Germany lately. Someone mentioned the trend a few posts that ago. I wonder what's triggered it.


Edit: Anotha one

tl;dr: Women want to fuck poor dudes in movies. Why won't they fuck me? Fucking hippocrites

Double edit:

tl;dr: His friend assures him that "Can I buy you a drink" will work. Lucas doesn't believe him (lol), but he's done this before.

The details for how he's supposed to afford this drink are not included.

 

[WonderWino]

He's saying if he were to physically meet Hitler, he'd knock his hat off him and he doesn't care if it's in the middle of the road.

- Hitler was always known for his hats.

- Why is he assuming he'd randomly meet Hitler in the middle of the road? His theory of mind is so lacking, he doesn't understand that people (other than bums) don't walk in the road.

He's been awfully consumed with WW2 Germany lately. Someone mentioned the trend a few posts that ago. I wonder what's triggered it.


Edit: Anotha one

tl;dr: Women want to fuck poor dudes in movies. Why won't they fuck me? Fucking hippocrites

Double edit:

tl;dr: His friend assures him that "Can I buy you a drink" will work. Lucas doesn't believe him (lol), but he's done this before.

The details for how he's supposed to afford this drink are not included.

Figures of all people he could possibly bring up to from movies he brings up a guy who who was hitting on a rich 17 year old, stole her from an older rich conservative guy and talked her into giving up a life of luxury and wealth for run off with him. It really fits lucas's way of thinking and fantasies for what he would like to do. Except lucas would have absolutely taken advantage of the free dinner he got in first class, would have horrified all the first class passengers attending it and would have told rose to fuck off and drown and hauled his fat ass up on the piece of wood acted creepy as fuck toward her while she froze to death

and since lucas has a history of comparing himself to fictional characters in media and bringing up star trek fairly often I wonder if we'll get a rant about picard getting with milfy dr crusher despite being far older and being bald, completely ignoring the fact that picard isn't a creep, is educated, intelligent and competent. All things lucas will never be

Lucas's weird scenario of meeting hitler on the street somewhere is just bizarre. I mean yeah hitler was homeless for a few years prior to ww1 and bounced between mens shelters and living under bridges a few times, but even hitler worked when he had the opportunity and enlisted in the army when his country needed him. Lucas would never be that self sacrificing, let alone put in that kind of effort. But yeah he'd be unlikely to be in such a specific, bizarre situation. Lucas waddling up to smack the hat off of hitlers head and then getting his add beaten half to death by an SA detachment would be quite the sight. I'm sure hitler would remember that creep and reserve a special place in dachau the day it opened just for lucas

The 'I don't really believe him' statement is just bizarre. Yeah its obvious bullshit but its literally just him telling lucas the very thing lucas has been claiming always works for literally years. No matter how you slice it lucas outed himself as an idiot there. Either he is an idiot for admitting he was lying the whole time or he's an idiot for calling bs on his own claims. I wonder if the setup is getting lucas to go up and ask if a zoomer bae wants a drink, somehow get a yes answer out of her (someone else in on it maybe?) and then look like a complete retard when he doesn't have any money to actually pay for said drink he just offered, to humiliate the fuck out of him and get everybody laughing at him. That would definitely provoke a chimpout in the bar. Particularly if the wingman acted like he had no idea who lucas was after lucas made a fool of himself. Lucas claimed he will bring $100 and the wingman is supposedly doing the same but I have my doubts lucas has that kind of money. He already blew alot on that food he was talking about earlier and I can't see his parents giving him much more than that, as they never did before, as they know what he does with it. No way he doesn't expect the wingman to do the buying