💀 Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

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1-way trips aren't that much to SE Asia, like a couple hundred. Lucas could pull it off if his payee would stop being a bitch.
Try again, the cheapest one way flight from Seattle to Saigon would be a minimum of 300 USD on something like Asiana with one or two stops. And that's booked way in advance. EVA,JAL,ANA,Singapore all would be more. Korean used to be good for deals to BKK or HMC with just a stop in Seoul, not so much anymore.
This retard would be fairly safe in Saigon if he sticks to the D1 tourist areas, but if he wanders too far north to Hanoi he's going to end up in jail guaranteed. And they're not as cosmopolitan in the commie capital.
He'd be wiser to go to the Philippines, or someplace in Thailand like Pattaya, Phuket. Vietnam is a still a respectful, conservative country compared to the rest of SE Asia.
 
Definitely agree that the needing a permit thing was a technicality so he wouldnt have a complete shit fit when they told him he's too retarded to use the stove or oven.
The whole putting whatever the fuck that goo was on the steak inside the air fryer is absolute proof of this. You do not put liquids in an air fryer. Ever.
You can put sauce on your food, yes, but not a whole bottle of mayo, or butter, or whatever that was. We know he doesn't clean up after himself, so this shit would just get cooked in during each use since most people assume the appliance would have been cleaned if someone fucked it up like Lucas does.

It brings up just how much oversight his new fartbox is in has.. I'd imagine it's some sort of halfway house where they're used to criminals and people with severe mental illness, so maybe they're more prepared than most places? It's so hard to tell because Lucas. isn't a reliable narrator of his own story.
 
Its shit like this that prove how truly incompetent he is with money
In every sense of the word, if not something more severe. He's not like your every day, run-of-the-mill 'oh this guy has no idea what he's doing' incompetent, but a 'holy shit, he's catastrophically inept' when it comes to money. Hell. Not only does he have a hole in his bumly pockets, where money is gone within the day, if not hours, but he's allocating next months's tardbucks (in his mind, or Facebook posts) for whatever he's got a hankerin' for at that point in time.

Lucas is definitely a different variant of retard for sure. The good Lord pairing his absurdly low IQ, schizofrenia, and his subhuman mindset was such a cruel joke TBH. Then, because God apparently deemed more work must be done, making Lucas delusionally obsess over food and fucking teenagers put a huge, indignant bow on the whole mess that is Lucas Colby Werner. Dr. Nigga is such an awful, sick amalgamation of things to be wrong with that it can only make relative sense in the context of him.
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Note:
I've seen people mention it as childlike, but I refuse to refer to him as a child because:

A: That implies he's a human, which I unironically don't believe he's the same species.

B: The pedophile who probably get off on it.

C: His defective brain would try to rationalize it somehow (in a way that only Lucas's warped mind could) and convince him it means he's allowed to fuck kids.
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and how pathologically obsessed with food he is, to the point he is incapable of thinking far enough ahead to not realize he has no way of properly cooking the steak he wants to buy. It really is no wonder he was forced to accept a government handler to keep him from spending his money nonsensically
Kinda following up from my above, but food really means something else to him than it does with normal humans. Pathological obsession is probably the most apt way to describe it, but it's definitely something entirely beyond an obsession. It'd be one thing if it stopped with him being fat or crafting comically grotesque cuisines before devouring it, but it doesn't. Lucas can't help himself but to insert food into whatever topic he's mooing about out of fucking nowhere.

What's truly bizarre is when he'll make a patently retarded point/statement and proceed to somehow make it relative to food, which somehow makes less sense out of everything he's saying that already doesn't make sense. The only person any of it makes sense to is him, and that problem is amplified by all the things wrong with his brain PLUS the whole problem around him lacking a 'theory of mind'.

THEN, once you step back from all that for a moment, you can't help but notice two things:

1) Other than schizofrenic board games, food is Lucas's only genuine passion in life. Everything else is much more dictated by his low IQ and schizophrenia. Food is too, but Lucas's mind is a lot less static or rigid when it comes to how he thinks about food. It's still not great, considering the abominations he conjures, him taking food from people who truly need it by sucking it up food from pantries like a vacuum, and his feeble attempts at showing everyone how he's rich or fancy.
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I really got a kick out of him bragging about maybe/potentially/possibly eating escargot 30-40 years ago because his uber luxurious parents (who were travel agents, LOL) might have eaten it with a client.
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2. Food is seemingly the only thing Lucas has ever planned around. I don't mean plan in the conventional sense like normal humans, but Lucas attempts to apply forethought and forward thinking when it comes to food.

What gets me is I'm not sure if Lucas is even aware about fundamental concepts like the future when it comes to anything else other than food. Granted, and like I mentioned above, I believe the concept of the future means something completely different in the retard's broken brain than it does for everyone else, but my question is this. How the fuck does his brain just separate and segregate shit like concepts when it comes to different topics?

We see something similar when it comes to Lucas's normal mooing (i.e. His broken logic chain that just pivots, or outright stops, whenever it approaches a gap or an inconvenient conclusion, ala 1984), but I'm pretty sure fundamental human concepts operate in a wholly different capacity and/or level within the human brain.

The fact that the retard's grey matter can somehow understand shared concepts (not understand, but almost approaching human understanding) during one line of thought, but outright neglect the same concept's existence for basically every line of thought, is mind-blowing. Lucas is truly an interesting creature.

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Off topic: The concept of...well... concepts is honestly fascinating. It may seem like a casual word, but there's a lot of research, study, and philosophy that seek to understand the human mind and concepts. Shit like shapes or forms go way back and really deep. What's great is that while it's deeply rooted in philosophy, you can see how people take the super deep, analytical, and introspective subject matter and apply it to things like architecture. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Form_follows_function?wprov=sfla1

It's definitely a rabbit hole, but the general idea is that people should be able to look at a building and immediately, intrinsically know what that building does based on people's shared concepts. (Not great examples, but Jews=Money and Legal, Blacks=crime, fried chicken, and watermelon, Russians=vodka and addidas track shots, etc. So you'd expect a building to somehow represent whichever.) In architecture, the idea is to take things like that and apply it to architecting the building.

To kinda bring it back to Lucas, he doesn't (or more appropriately, can't) pick up on, comprehend, or understand on stuff like concepts that the rest of humanity shares. Doesn't matter if it's a concept that only exists for the residents of Mallon Place, the city of Spokane, or humanity as a whole. All Lucas can really grasp is whatever is going on within his head. That problem is amplified by him being unable to communicate or correlate whatever is going on in there with the reality everyone else sees, interacts, and participates.
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Ten bucks says he cheated and looked up all the answers

So, shall we start taking bets on how long before lucas is told he can't use the stove? If they let him its proof the place is sketchy as fuck and doing illegal shit
Hopefully it'll lead to one of the four funny and extremely likely scenarios immediately popping into mind:

Scenario 1: The "permit" was the initial, polite excuse to prevent him from using the oven or stovetop. Now that that excuse is no longer valid, Lucas will be bluntly told he's still not allowed to touch anything. Resulting in an outcome of heavy mooing.

Scenario 2: Lucas cooks and accidentally burns the house down.

Scenario 3: Lucas cooks and gets food poisoning and/or sick.

Scenario 4: Lucas cooks and gets upset when residents decline him offering food. This one is obviously making the optimistic assumption of Lucas offering any food. Though, he does occasionally do that after he's had his fill about three times over.

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My personal, relatively recent favorites are:

- Him eating something like a dozen chicken wings leftover from someone else's delivery order, and him meekly offering passerbys while he was devouring them like an animal. You could clearly tell he was hoping no one would take him up in the offer by his body language alone.

- Him ordering steak as soon as he got his tardbucks. While eating it hand over fist, literally offering the bone in his hand that he finished gnawing on. (Not figurative whatsoever.) There might have been some meat left, and IIRC, the tarded resident took him up on his offer.
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Note: Multiple scenarios could easily combine.
 
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Cuba actively supported overthrowing multiple central american governments with funding and low key military support, arrested and killed thousands of cubans for decades for opposing castro and castro was directly responsible for the shitshow that was the cuban missile crisis. The nukes were literally his idea and it came one wrong move away from an all out nuclear war

Lucas does not know his history, especially when it comes to cuba. But since they're commies he assumes capitalism = bad communism = good. Perhaps he should explain why so many cubans fled cuba and why so many of them wanted to kill castro

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He changed his profile pic again and looks just as mental as always. Looks like it was taken at his new fartbox
 
Also, i'll say it again, they're negligent as fuck if they 'supervised' him and let him fuck a steak like that.
Okay, I'll give you they're negligent for other reasons but not gonna lie if I were a spedcare staff I'd left Wern make air fried moistureless jerky steaks just to watch the gluttonous pedofreak try and wolf down something with the consistency of dried leather and convince himself it's plenty good.
Comments got interesting:
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"If someone else gets food poisoning"

As if Lucas is gonna share his undercooked shitsteaks with anyone else?

I'd love to see the look on the Somalis face when Lucas hands them a license to use the stove.

They had to find a way to get the tard to not use the oven and avoid the pain in the ass cleaning it up would be after Allah knows what shit he puts in there.
Alternatively it's a way to tell Lucas to cook his shit without having to bother to actually teach Lucas not to make undercooked ham toasterbortions
 
Okay, I'll give you they're negligent for other reasons but not gonna lie if I were a spedcare staff I'd left Wern make air fried moistureless jerky steaks just to watch the gluttonous pedofreak try and wolf down something with the consistency of dried leather and convince himself it's plenty good.

"If someone else gets food poisoning"

As if Lucas is gonna share his undercooked shitsteaks with anyone else?


Alternatively it's a way to tell Lucas to cook his shit without having to bother to actually teach Lucas not to make undercooked ham toasterbortions
It's not just the possibility that he might share whatever nightmare concoction he cooks. There's also cross contamination to consider and the damage to whatever cookware they have (I think they had to toss the toaster oven at the homeless shelter because of his toasterbortions).

This is a guy who used the toilet brush to scrub the floor around the toilet when he was living with the lesbians and when I confronted him about that a decade or so later he didn't understand why that was gross. He couldn't figure out why it was disgusting.

Give this guy a chicken breast and the whole fucking place is going to come down with E-coli.

Not to mention what he does will actually damage the cookware (which is probably pretty sparse in a place like where he lives). He doesn't understand cook times and burns quite a bit of it and I can't imagine him cleaning the pots and pans thoroughly. So they're probably going back into the cupboard with caked on burned bits of cheesy cucumbers. This is the same stuff that the actual staff has to cook the real meals for the other residents with and I can't imagine they're pleased with the condition of their equipment after Lucas has his way with it.

On another note, I can't fathom how he comes up with his recipes. I'm a pretty good cook who taught myself how after I got married (my wife, in spite of all of her other virtues, is not) and worked a contract in Baton Rouge. There's a place in the kitchen for improvisation. My ribs are a good example of that, I have my own way of doing them but it started from a 3-2-1 recipe that I have changed over time to get the results I want. It would never occur to a normal person that they should throw Fruity Pebbles, Mayonaise and Tuna Fish into a fucking air fryer (I'm not sure if he's done exactly that but he's done stuff equally as horrendous). It's mental illness manifested into food and the results are on par or worse than nutraloaf.

Take his latest adventure with the steak he turned into a brake pad. There are ways to cook a steak in an oven, or even an air fryer (I had to google that). The way to do it does not involve setting it to air fry and leaving it in there for a fucking half hour. It's not like he didn't have the ingredients (what do you need for a steak at the minimum, some salt, pepper and a steak... maybe a little butter if you're using a skillet). If he used his phone for something other than porn (and lets face it, that's all he uses it for) that information is a couple clicks away.

Honestly, I think it stems from his narcissism. He fancies himself to be far smarter than he is. His arrogance has convinced him that he's a culinary genius and he acts as such. He knows better than the Gordan Ramseys and Julia Childs (both great cooks but who's recipes are based on the recipes of others who came before them). It's because of this, I don't think he'd pass a food handler's exam. It's easy enough for the average teenager to pass but he thinks he knows far more than he actually does and is incapable of thinking otherwise.
 
Nigger what?!

I know he was talking about it and questioning whether he should but he actually went through with it and started trying DMT and shrooms?!

I know lucas is an idiot but jesus fucking christ this is stupid even for lucas. Even he admitted fucking with psychedelics was a bad idea when he dropped acid back in the late 90s. That, by his own admission ended with him seeing shit that wasn't there and eventually having a nervous breakdown. It led directly to his first major involuntary commitment in 2000

Bipolars and schizophrenics should not be taking psychedelics. Especially when they already have frequent unstable and delusional behavior, to say nothing of his health in general

Lucas being lucas will keep doing it until he takes too much or does it for too long and has another complete psychotic break, guaranteed, This will not end well for him at all. This is exactly the shit that will end with him getting kicked out for going batshit and might even lead to another arrest depending on how full retard he goes. We know how llucas gets when he's not on this shit and he's barely able to keep from getting his ass thrown out and arrested when he's sober. This will not end well

There is also the fact you are explicitly not supposed to be taking these kinds of drugs when actively taking antipsychotic medication, so either he is too stupid to realize that, and its going to fuck him up or he isn't taking his meds which isn't likely to end well for him either. If lucas ends up one of those unfortunate idiots who ends up with persistent psychosis I won't feel bad about it. If he is that stupid he has it coming

But go ahead lucas, keep taking shrooms and DMT and see how that ends for you

Ladies and gentlemen, lucas has proven us all right yet again - the instant he got released from mallon place and was allowed a little more freedom and a little more money he not only went back to his old habits but decided to do something even stupider, that even he has admitted was a bad idea in the past. He absolutely cannot be trusted or allowed to be in an unsupervised unstructured environment. He never should have been allowed to leave mallon place

So, shall we take bets on exactly what crazy thing lucas is going to do when the voices on the wind inevitably go into overdrive from this? Screaming at people in the streets again? Trying to blackmail the other residents again? Accusing whoever is running the new place of hoarding zoomer baes from him? At this point some kind of psychotic episode is inevitable, its not if its when and what will set him off

Also, lucas is absolutely primed for an encounter with a stoner chick catfish. That could end all kinds of badly for him

Oh and remember when lucas admitted they make him take lithium as part of his medication? Well..... about that. Yet another reason he's setting himself up for a bad situation
 
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Honestly, I think it stems from his narcissism. He fancies himself to be far smarter than he is. His arrogance has convinced him that he's a culinary genius and he acts as such. He knows better than the Gordan Ramseys and Julia Childs (both great cooks but who's recipes are based on the recipes of others who came before them). It's because of this, I don't think he'd pass a food handler's exam. It's easy enough for the average teenager to pass but he thinks he knows far more than he actually does and is incapable of thinking otherwise.
He was also a former heavy cigarette smoker, who continues to smoke weed whenever he can get his hands on some. Add in his diabetes and kidney failure, and you've got a recipe for completely fried sense of taste. It's like an alcoholic stamping to feel their feet when they walk; he has to pile on a ton of strong flavors to taste anything other than pennies (metallic taste is a common symptom of kidney failure).
 
I know we don't know a lot about the new place but I assume it's owned by the LaPlants same scum who own Mallon. I have a theory, Lucas was going to be kicked from Mallon and they found a new place to keep him. So they could steal his SSI check still. It's probably "lower care" and the illegals and retards who work there (remember they had fucking criminals with no degree handing meds out)

Lucas has a great history of being evicted and hated. I think also remember ever Skeletor pointed out, how much longer Lucas was at Mallon than most. He was getting very agressive in his posts. He probably was sperging, and they hate him the staff said he has to go so the LaPlants put him elsewhere because he's dying they can grift off him.

Also it's hilarious he's JUST getting into SE predo shit. I'm younger than him but even in highschool we knew memes of creeps doing that. Now IF you were a pedo, you'd think you'd know about that back when you could do it. It's like saying "I'm a car dude I love cars I think of cars all the time BMW Bently etc etc..." Then have no clue what a corvette is. Thank goodness he's just so toothless (LOL remember he has no teeth) but he IS a predator and he WOULD hurt more kids.

His food sex and dreaming is so weird. Yeah sex/food are too close tied. It's scary. Also this handlers permit, we only have his word, lets check a state site. He's so retarded unless they legit give them out, no way he could. He's so proud of his pantry theft. It's disgusting, as someone who helps at my churches (sorry Lucas we give stuff away and I'm still rich) taking something post covid has been so humbling and people have come INTO church because they are down and need some help in meals and spirit. We get some crazy good food and never push anything but people WANT to know why we give out feasts. I won't sperg too long but we're blessed and have some money and we help. If you were hungry and someone said, here I want you to have this green beans pork chop and doritos. Take it, thats it. you'd be like why would someone give that up? It's a better dinner than most! Again not to religion sperg, its because I have food on my plate at home. Bad things happen and God loves you, if he does I must respect you on hard times.

Lucas just shows up fed takes more from the hungry and poor whom he claims to love and makes his slop. He's a glutton and dying from it. Aside that it's sexual. You or I might like to look at boobs, him he jerks off to Bobby Flay at work. It's really upsetting.

He also thinks if he gets his whole welfare check he'd be rich. What 1100 a month? Sure no bills it can go far (he wastes it) but think about your life, 1100 won't cover your bills if you read this. If so please tell me how for a hack :P. Our home is PAID off and we can't live off 1100. Lucas HATES women and thinks they are all jobless OF whores who make 0 dollars. He really does, thats why he thinks of dating transactional. Lets be real a whore, will suck your dick for olive garden and a 50 spot. Thats what whores do. Even the poorest of women can eat better than Lucas offering.

I'm really amped on him trying to be "hip" politcally and double down and just straight saying some MORE (he said before) Nazi shit. You know, GAS THEM FUCKING KIKES because I don't like Irsreal. He always triples down to sound like the most "PC" While there's a lot of issues in the middle east like A LOT. You can be very anti israel and not anti jew. But that's another story for another day. Lucas isn't smart and will say Hilter was great because he thinks AOC will be impressed because lefties aren't thrilled (ignoring many right wingers) with bibi's behavior.

Lucas is fat and I wouldn't have sex with him.
 
So much for him “never doing drugs”! Shrooms and weed, imo, are one thing given that they are naturally occurring substances (though Lucas shouldn’t do ANY drugs given his mental state) but DMT is a different ballpark. I wonder how long until he gets hooked on something legitimately bad like meth or heroin, I can see it happening at this point.
 
I don’t think the “Lucas tik tok account” that has been posted for awhile is actually him. I never have. Every post and reply seems very staged. All the posts in here about his “tik tok updates” come shortly after his Facebook posts about the same type of shit. With this new shrooms and Dmt shit, I don’t buy it at all. He was talking about it awhile ago on FB, but he’s been far more concerned with getting the 5$ for the food handling permit and his normal dumbass political “memes” on there. Hasn’t mentioned drugs for a few weeks. Highly doubt Lucas is running that tik tok.
 
and the damage to whatever cookware they have (I think they had to toss the toaster oven at the homeless shelter because of his toasterbortions).
He is also the type to preheat the airfryer with a paper liner in it, walk off and forget it, and catch the place on fire. You know he would panic and run around like a dumbass and never think to use the fire extinguisher.
 
He also thinks if he gets his whole welfare check he'd be rich. What 1100 a month? Sure no bills it can go far (he wastes it) but think about your life, 1100 won't cover your bills if you read this. If so please tell me how for a hack :P. Our home is PAID off and we can't live off 1100. Lucas HATES women and thinks they are all jobless OF whores who make 0 dollars. He really does, thats why he thinks of dating transactional. Lets be real a whore, will suck your dick for olive garden and a 50 spot. Thats what whores do. Even the poorest of women can eat better than Lucas offering.
If Lucas would have just shut up and didn't bother people in his first apartment or so, he'd have been in a good spot. That $1000+ in disability goes a lot farther when you don't have significant bills or any big expenses like cars. He also hates watching TV and would avoid subscription expenses like that. And Spokane is a prime location for a tard leech with reasonable living expenses as a lily white blue-ish area in a deep blue state. Lucas could have easily found a decent woman with that. His blathering about old guys with credit cards is really self-projection regretting what a stupid fool he is.
 
The cow posted a photo of I guess duck eggs swimming in butter on a pan on the stove? Did the Somalis give in and let the cow use the stove? I mean, what the hell is going on here?


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Yeah those are definitely duck eggs, the color makes it obvious

That said you should never cook eggs in that much fat, thats a great way to either get burned by the grease spitting at you or to start a fire. He supposedly 'passed' a food safety course then immediately posted proof of doing something incredibly unsafe with food

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Nobody freaks out over goose meat lucas. Its perfectly safe to eat and has been for thousands of years. Geese are herbivores who prefer plants and do alot of grazing. As such they occasionally do eat bugs, worms, slugs or whatever, same as any other grazing animal. Cows do the same thing

Ducks are the ones you have to watch out for as far as slugs go. They're more predatory in their diet and will actively seek out such things just like chickens do. Its why you have to be very careful about examining the meat and organs of wild ducks that you hunt yourself, cause they can and frequently do carry serious parasites. You don't ever want to eat a duck thats been eating alot of slugs. Slugs can carry some absolutely horrifying parasites that can cause liver or brain damage. Hell a kid was in the news not too long ago for being retarded enough to eat one thinking it was the same as eating escargot and ended up in the ICU with organ and brain damage because of it

and the funny thing is lucas would be aware of this if he just did his usual thing and looked it up using AI
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That info is correct, and lucas showed he's even stupider than usual

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Lucas proving he's so mind bogglingly stupid its astounding. Every other animal works to survive. In fact they work their asses off just to live and frequently don't. You can't even handle working at walmart lucas and can barely manage to survive even when everything is provided for you, because unlike animals you somehow always find a way to eventually fuck it up, like a retarded dog who keeps getting rescued from the pound and then keeps biting everybody who tries to feed it and shits all over everything at every opportunity until its put down or left in the street to die

It begins

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With all that cheese its going to be a fucking mess

He's mixing a shit ton of mozarella cheese, spinach, mayonnaise and cream of mushroom soup with the pasta and baking it. Oh yeah that'll be good for his kidneys and won't create a huge greasy mess at all

and what the fuck? He put all that in the dish and then poured the milk on top? Figures this would be a myrna recipe

and he fed it to 5 people. Oh yeah, lucas cooking and feeding multiple people is totally going to end well. Time to start the timer for the inevitable food poisoning outbreak

Also, the I drink water because i'm diabetic comment at the end. Fucking lol. Yeah you drink water while stuffing yourself like a turkey at every opportunity. The water isn't going to help you the way you eat lucas

In other words, the staff won't let him drink juice like a big boy cause of the beetus but will totally let him eat himself to death. Great staff they have there I see

That said, this whole thing is blatantly illegal and a major violation of their insurance and licensing requirements. Not only is he using the stove when he's explicitly prohibited from it, they have him cooking for other residents as a resident himself. That speaks volumes about the competency of the shithole they sent him to

Paging @Fatal Walter to update him on this shitshow. Sounds like the start of a new video series
 
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I don’t think the “Lucas tik tok account” that has been posted for awhile is actually him. I never have. Every post and reply seems very staged. All the posts in here about his “tik tok updates” come shortly after his Facebook posts about the same type of shit. With this new shrooms and Dmt shit, I don’t buy it at all. He was talking about it awhile ago on FB, but he’s been far more concerned with getting the 5$ for the food handling permit and his normal dumbass political “memes” on there. Hasn’t mentioned drugs for a few weeks. Highly doubt Lucas is running that tik tok.
I’ve wondered about this before too. The replies are very Lucas coded, but I’m shocked he hasn’t blocked me (or anyone else) for our comments. But what about the videos? Like today he posted one that was him talking, and I haven’t seen it anywhere else yet. Are you thinking those are AI?
 
I’ve wondered about this before too. The replies are very Lucas coded, but I’m shocked he hasn’t blocked me (or anyone else) for our comments. But what about the videos? Like today he posted one that was him talking, and I haven’t seen it anywhere else yet. Are you thinking those are AI?
I lean more towards thinking someone who’s catfishing/pretending to be friends with him. I think the news about him moving was out on tik tok before Facebook too which I thought was weird, but he definitely would give that info to a catfish. I could see him sending that tik tok you mentioned to his catfish/“friend” as well to brag.. “check out this cool program I figured out how to use!”
 
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