Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

It is true, Lucas Werner is a pedophile who has astonishingly short telomeres for his age. I read bad smell is a sign of short telomeres in men and drives potential mates away. It's scientific fact. There is no real evidence or something like that for it, but it is scientific fact because that's how science works. I'd write more on it but I'm a bit busy with my 19 year old girlfriend.
 
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For as much as he pretends he doesn't care about the groups that watch him for their amusement he sure as shit can't shut the fuck up about them.
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Does anyone actually believe him though?
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Lucas just said 18 is too old.

Yet he's "not a pedophile" I guess there's a word other than pedophile for someone who wants to have sex with an underage girl? Creep seems to be it. no wait, he's a creepy pedophile.
 
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Some updates from the SOFALAW "insider" about Lucas' quest for college tang:
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Also, the same person has pointed out that his 6 months of assisted living at Phoenix House was supposed to be up on June 1st. Apparently he has had trouble finding a new apartment he can afford as he has been blowing through his SSI money instead of saving it for 1st/last/deposit, and unsurprisingly has had no luck trying to find a potential roommate situation.
 
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Lmao this asshat went to the testing center and started sperging out about his MRSA loads off the bat because "this is just a formality". Community College Arc is off to a great start even if he's not doing too hot himself with the whole getting into college thing.

Hell, it seems he's having a bit of a struggle with the whole getting a lease bit too. Though, I will admit the housing/rental market in Spokane IS indeed really fucked right now. As of 2015-16 renting anything that isn't an utter death trap for under 600 before bills takes connections in realty as well as a respectable record of renting in most cases. That's something Lucas sadly just doesn't have. Like a 17 year old girlfriend, or culinary expertise.

I can guarantee you he isn't getting more than 800 off his SSI and then maybe 150 in EBT (foodstamps). He also spends over half his excess that wouldn't go to rent, on sushi in the first days of a month. This means he has no understanding of paying bills on time and you know as well as I do, he has NOTHING to put towards the deposit/first/last.
 
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Called it on the remedial classes everyone give me e-props.

He's put no effort into looking for a place we know, both by him not bragging about it since he's the kinda guy who brags about taking a shower let alone apartment shopping, section 8 has long lists country wide so I'm sure in Spokane as well. If he even meets the needs.

I do take some real solace in him not finishing a class how to use a calculator, from a soon to be 3 time PhD.
 
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Lucas are at least funny in the "look at that crazy shit" way. This is just stupid. If you do something worse than the Wern it's time to rethink your life's choices imo.

Also remedial classes, lmao. Well, I buy it because that makes at least more sense than what he says. I still think he's not even going to cut it there, alone because he won't manage to show up on time and regularly. Let alone learn something. He's that fucked in the head. Such things are waste of time with him. I don't even really buy that he's properly medicated.

Also I don't think he can live independently. I'm not sure what else there is besides halfway houses but dude will end up on the street if there's not more than that.
 
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You bring up a good point, Lucas entire adult life has been under his parents, jail, nut houses, group homes or half way homes. Aside a brief time with his GF. He honestly isn't bright enough to manage section 8. Let me restate that for those new, unaware of laws and for humor. Lucas is not mentally able to keep an apartment paid for by the state, with bills paid for by the state. He'd manage to muck it up. The sheer act of giving free money from one group to another is too much for him.

I'm upset at the college arc because Lucas is Lucas, I have openly stated I am against social programs, but they exist so let's not derail this with tism, if we have them we should be offering people who are on my dime a path to work and education can do that. Lucas will not pass this class, I'll bet my last dime on it. There are so many people who are trying to rebuild or start a life whom suffer from records, mental issues, drug issues etc. This is a spot they could use. Lucas is just a gross creepy pedo who is so bad at being a sexual predator he's a lol cow and thank god for the kids sake. If Lucas wasn't a spaz he'd be finger blasting toddlers. But I am cross he's going to school to shit himself and do nothing when there's a single mom who just got off pain killers who they said, wait another year before we got a free slot. Because Lucas.
 
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Don't fret it too much, it will go from sad to funny again when he's in lifelong debt from a single quarter of remedials because he, as previously stated now dozens of times, cannot balance his tardbux budget responsibly let alone half-sensibly. State will give him the money, but as you said, he's not gonna give it to the college. He's gonna give it to the sports bar for cheap cali rolls and dogwater whiskey 8).
 
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