Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

He claims hes a '250lb guy' which i'm calling huge bs on. Either he is short as shit, which we know he isn't, or he weighs a hell of alot more than that. ffs i'm 6' and 240 and i'm mostly fit and don't look anywhere near fucking morbidly obese like lucas. Granted I exercise, ski and do a shit ton of outdoor stuff and logging but still, i'm not buying that horseshit for a second

I like focusing on Lucas's weight because it's something he's clearly self conscious about, and frequently mentions. It's also something visible.

Lucas is a fat fuck. It amuses me that he is a fat fuck, because he doesn't own it or accept it. It's possible to be a fat fuck at 250, but Lucas isn't 250. His exact weight, which is probably in the area of 300, is unimportant because: he's a fat fuck.

But his weight has nothing to do with his lack of prospects, because as he says:

"I've seen plenty of fat guys get good pussy because they're Christian."

 

[Agoraphobic Bullshit]

Lucas totally doesn't understand anything, as usual. While many women won't care if our date is poorer, most of us want some ambition or drive in our men, and stability is sexy. Sometimes having a bit of a fixer-upper is fine, but no mentally competent woman will sign on for a relationship that's going to be that difficult to begin with.

The mentally incompetent women will run away from the smell amd screaming.

Edit:spelling

 

[mothman96]

You can tell Lucas reads this thread because he changed his shirt. Still didn’t shower though.

It's not likely he's done laundry, so changed from one smelly dirty shirt to another smelly dirty shirt.

 

[Da Dude123]

I love this $100 thing. I remember when he offered $1000 to go on a date with him to Churchill's. I was so hoping that a girl would take him up on that, go to the restaurant and then sneak out after she got the $1000. Lucas would absolutely have chimped out! He would have been throwing glasses of Pepsi at the wall and would have been screaming about bigotry.

No one is going to take him up on this offer either and if they did, fatso would probably never pay the $100 anyways, cause his payee is gone and he is not credit worthy to begin with.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Lucas is a bigger "skinny fat" in that he lost weight because he just ate less but did nothing else including zero exercise. That leads to the big manboobs and huge bulbous gut with no muscle mass. Similar to DSP, except Lucas is fatter.

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

So....

First it was 'i'll give you a burrito if you go on a date with me when you turn 16'

Then it was 'if you go on a date with me i'll give you $1000'

Then it was 'If you find a woman for me i'll give you shit quality booze if you bring her to my fartbox and help get her drink then gtfo so I can do as I please without any witnesses'

Then it was 'if you find a woman for me i'll give you $100'

Then it was 'if you find a woman for me i'll give you $100 eventually...if I think she likes me...give me your address and i'll mail it to you

Then it was 'if you go on a date with me i'll give you $100'

Then it was 'if you go on a date with me i'll give you $100 if I think you like me'

Now its 'if you go on a date with me i'll give you $100 in a week or so if I think you like me....and $100 a month for having sex with me and pretending to be my girlfriend'

Yeah.....he it TOTALLY not a predator at all. This will totally end well for him at some point



Probably falls under solicitation of prostitution considering he specifically says 'i'll give you money to have sex with me' which is soliciting in most states, including washington

Someone should tell Lucas the looming over the camera angle only makes him look creepier, also it shows his bald spot on his chin, which he should really shave as it looks horrible, though the shelters might be weary of giving Lucas access to a razor

 

[mothman96]

I love this $100 thing. I remember when he offered $1000 to go on a date with him to Churchill's. I was so hoping that a girl would take him up on that, go to the restaurant and then sneak out after she got the $1000. Lucas would have absolutely have chimped out! He would have been throwing glasses of Pepsi at the wall and would have been screaming about bigotry.

No one is going to take him up on this offer either and if they did, fatso would probably never pay the $100 anyways, cause his payee is gone and he is not credit worthy to begin with.

There's that time he offered for a girl to live with him for free. She would have to have sex with him. He said he had like $600 for rent. I got the impression he was homeless at the time and gotten his SSI money, and he came up with the plan.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas.

Lucas.

A lot of poorer white guys with receding hairlines have figured out how to get young girls to date them. This website is full of their chronicles.

To get the girl...you must become the girl.

Troon out and become a lesbian. Then you can guilt lesbians into having sex with you. Bonus: they don’t like dick, so you don’t have to worry about them finding your dick inadequate. They’ll be down to fist all night! And you already have your hair grown out long so you’re halfway there!

Don’t even worry about surgery. Don’t change a thing about your body. Just call your dick a girldick and lesbians will have to date you, else they’ll be kicked out of their community for being an anti-trans bigoted TERF.

This works, and has worked for thousands of men. Trust me.

Don't give him any ideas.... he might start to think its a good idea and then we would get lucas going full bill dauterive:

Just replace 'lenore' with 'suzanne' or 'fertile 16 year old zoomer' and let the horror overtake you

Also..... this sounds eerily like lucas. I think they might be on to something here. It would explain alot about lucas

 

[wenttobermuda]

I love this $100 thing. I remember when he offered $1000 to go on a date with him to Churchill's. I was so hoping that a girl would take him up on that, go to the restaurant and then sneak out after she got the $1000. Lucas would absolutely have chimped out! He would have been throwing glasses of Pepsi at the wall and would have been screaming about bigotry.

No one is going to take him up on this offer either and if they did, fatso would probably never pay the $100 anyways, cause his payee is gone and he is not credit worthy to begin with.

Lucas has a history of offering $100 for someone to set him up with a date. It never ends well. Once, for a promise to pay $100, some tard called Shao Mane set him up with a certain catfish. Lucas thought that this relationship had promise, and was convinced to send a dick pick.

Spoiler: Oh the woe

And that, guys, is how our ancestors learned about his micro dick.

That Lucas still sees this as a viable strategy says a lot about him.

 

[Fatal Walter]

If Jesus deserved to be crucified for causing a scene in a temple then maybe Lucas deserves it for throwing a glass against the wall in a restaurant. Christ, he wasn't torturing people with a whip, he was driving out the livestock. How does he misinterpret these very simple passages from the bible so badly?

 

[mothman96]

Lucas has a history of offering $100 for someone to set him up with a date. It never ends well. Once, for a promise to pay $100, some tard called Shao Mane set him up with a certain catfish. Lucas thought that this relationship had promise, and was convinced to send a dick pick.

Spoiler: Oh the woe

View attachment 1228607

And that, guys, is how our ancestors learned about his micro dick.

That Lucas still sees this as a viable strategy says a lot about him.

Well, I'd say give that Shao and Corina credit for Lucas outing the size of his dick on his FB.

 

[Trainwreck]

I saw Lucas today crossing the road talking to himself. He was carrying a black duffel bag and looked awfully round and angry.
ETA: he was not making a video.

 

[Wernology]

Lucas has a history of offering $100 for someone to set him up with a date. It never ends well. Once, for a promise to pay $100, some tard called Shao Mane set him up with a certain catfish. Lucas thought that this relationship had promise, and was convinced to send a dick pick.

Spoiler: Oh the woe

View attachment 1228607

And that, guys, is how our ancestors learned about his micro dick.

That Lucas still sees this as a viable strategy says a lot about him.

Isn't that pic still somewhere in this thread under spoiler?
I have the terrible, terrible habit of clicking on spoilers that are labeled as exactly what they are then being horrified that they are exactly what they said they were (I have no fucking idea why I thought someone was just being silly with the spoiler, or was doing what the above did and was mentioning it but it was just a Facebook comment tree) and I could swear I've seen it here.
Thumb drive.
"Not big" is a goddamned understatement. It's about the size as one of my smaller thumb drives. I'd probably have some anger issues if that's what my genetics landed me with as well.

I wonder if it’s averaged sizes but swallowed up in his massive fatty abdomen.

That would be what you'd say if you saw it and were trying to focus on the potential positives. Also, I had to double check to make sure I hadn't just, like, thought I saw it in this thread; it's here. It's on page 215 if you hate yourself.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Isn't that pic still somewhere in this thread under spoiler?
I have the terrible, terrible habit of clicking on spoilers that are labeled as exactly what they are then being horrified that they are exactly what they said they were (I have no fucking idea why I thought someone was just being silly with the spoiler, or was doing what the above did and was mentioning it but it was just a Facebook comment tree) and I could swear I've seen it here.
Thumb drive.
"Not big" is a goddamned understatement. It's about the size as one of my smaller thumb drives. I'd probably have some anger issues if that's what my genetics landed me with as well.

I wonder if it’s averaged sized but swallowed up in his massive fatty abdomen.

Can any science Kiwis clarify whether Lucas' insistence on relating everything he encounters back to himself is common to schizophrenia? Or another diagnosis?

 

[mothman96]

Hey Port a Potty Lucas, your "curve"-- went from homeless, to a roof over your head, and back to homeless. Aimlessly walking the streets by day spewing insanity. Sleeping in a homeless shelter at night.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

Isn't that pic still somewhere in this thread under spoiler?
I have the terrible, terrible habit of clicking on spoilers that are labeled as exactly what they are then being horrified that they are exactly what they said they were (I have no fucking idea why I thought someone was just being silly with the spoiler, or was doing what the above did and was mentioning it but it was just a Facebook comment tree) and I could swear I've seen it here.
Thumb drive.
"Not big" is a goddamned understatement. It's about the size as one of my smaller thumb drives. I'd probably have some anger issues if that's what my genetics landed me with as well.



That would be what you'd say if you saw it and were trying to focus on the potential positives. Also, I had to double check to make sure I hadn't just, like, thought I saw it in this thread; it's here. It's on page 215 if you hate yourself.

Just so everyone gets to remember

Ladies, if you take Lucas up on his dinner offer you have all of this to look forward to:

Spoiler: Warning: penis ahead

Spoiler: Not kidding

 

[TelemeresDaddy69]

Just so everyone gets to remember

I want to give Lucas the benefit and say it's flacid, but I'm sure it isn't

I saw Lucas today crossing the road talking to himself. He was carrying a black duffel bag and looked awfully round and angry.

Should have snapped a photo, I know creeper hates photos of him that are not edited to remove his ageing and expose how obese he is

 

[wenttobermuda]

I want to give Lucas the benefit and say it's flacid, but I'm sure it isn't

He later claimed he had a...hard time getting erect.

But that's a lie, I bet

Eta:

 

[Rogowski]

Why would you say something so brave and controversial?

 

[Wernology]

Hey Port a Potty Lucas, your "curve"-- went from homeless, to a roof over your head, and back to homeless. Aimlessly walking the streets by day spewing insanity. Sleeping in a homeless shelter at night.

The takeaway I got here was:

1. Lucas doesn't understand how marketing works.
2. Lucas doesn't understand astronomy or astrophysics, which is probably why he flunked out of the latter...sorry, quit because he couldn't find a girlfriend.

Just so everyone gets to remember

Oh god, that's worse than the one I'd seen!
SO MUCH WORSE.

Christ, and on a bare mattress at that! You just know that thing (either or, honestly) smelled vile, especially in conjunction with the overflowing trash can he decided to not crop out of the frame.