Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[AbraCadaver]

I’m placing money on Lucas living at least another few years somehow. His ignominious end will be a bottle over the head from a fellow hobo whose turf he waddled into, followed by bleeding out and complaining in an alley.

 

[BIG CATS]

Really a shame they didn’t interview Lucas for this “reporting”, or any of his bum friends even.



Can’t shake the image of Lucas digging himself a poop hole right after his afternoon serving of cheese. Just before squatting, he glances up at one of the old mansions in front of him and immediately loses his shit, shrieking about classism at the invisible zoomers lurking behind other trees.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Really a shame they didn’t interview Lucas for this “reporting”, or any of his bum friends even.

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Can’t shake the image of Lucas digging himself a poop hole right after his afternoon serving of cheese. Just before squatting, he glances up at one of the old mansions in front of him and immediately loses his shit, shrieking about classism at the invisible zoomers lurking behind other trees.

Bold of you to assume he’d work hard enough to dig a hole.

 

[Duke Nukem]

Basically Lucas' standard creep level nasty. It's just more reason for women to avoid him, he screams creep and predator. Knowing Lucas he probably would want you to literally throw a child to him to molest in the park. I've heard deadass, and a few times okurt, but Lucas seems to be the only person who says oh jah, kinda disappointed zoomers haven't taken advantage of this and made Lucas parrot really dumb shit without realising it. It's pretty fucking creepy a 40 year old man trying to sound like a 16 year old. I wonder if he'll try getting a skateboard to impress the kids, then again I doubt one could support his weight.

The best way to avoid getting molested in Spokane, WA as a teenager? Look for the playground littered with snapped in half skateboards. Avoid it.

A little late I know but there's just so much material to cover. Especially with the hobo saga.

That sounds like a future reddit 'lets not meet' entry that you'd see some female hiker post about the creep she saw and got stalked by while hiking the trail



...Thats a disturbingly good point. I hadn't thought about it that way. a month of unshowered lucas living in that tent in the summer heat would make that tent smell horrific. He would probably burn the tent down while trying to start a fire or using some bottled gas stove....or try to use such a stove inside the tent and gas himself with carbon monoxide



If he really does move into a tent in the woods near some trails he'll inevitably be seen and heard creepily staring at women hiking or jogging nearby and ranting like a lunatic. He would be flat out told to gtfo by the cops and if he doesn't or just moves the crazy behavior down the trail he'll get arrested. People have a very low tolerance for people doing questionable things on or near public trails like that due to previous incidents over the years with rapists and serial killers and the like. Its literally the stupidest thing he could do an the one that guarantees he'll land his ass in jail if he goes that route

Dude, everything about this guy screams "let's not meet," and I've barely got a toe dipped in the Wernhole. Also, a number of persons end up with CO poisoning from grilling indoors like that. I can easily see him doing this or setting the tent (and himself possibly) on fire. Imagine a dumpster fire mixed with body odor, and you're probably not far off.

Bold of you to assume he’d work hard enough to dig a hole.

Even bolder to assume he knows that he should dig a hole/bury the feces. I can't imagine the flies being too interested in whatever came out of Lucas, though. Then again I'm not a fly so who knows?

 

[Particle Bored]

A tent might balance the creative advantages of Homeless Lucas, and the many varieties of Housed Lucas: Chef Lucas, Drunk, Shirtless Lucas, etc. I can imagine him trying to lure Zoomers to his tent with candy and cheap liquor. I can also imagine how his tent would smell.

"So I've got a tent now, which is basically like an apartment. This is my mattress... Well, it's a moldy moving blanket, but I'm going to upgrade soon. I can basically have people sleep over whenever I want, so you can spend the night if you want. But only if you're a chick thats 18 to 24, and we have a video chat first. 'But Lucas, you're poor.' Whatever, fucking classist Republican bitches. 'Oh I like Bernie Sanders, but my boyfriend has to have a toilet and four walls and a credit card.' Fucking stupid capitalist bitches. So yeah, you can sleep over if you want. We can talk, and make videos for Patreon. If you want we can have sex, but that's like, your choice. And staying in the woods is like perfect social distancing. So yeah, hit me up on Instagra... [battery dies]"

 

[Rogowski]

And another thing. Why would someone ever post a picture of their dick, knowing how small it looks? Is he too lost in his delusions to feel shame?

Didn’t Corina catfish it out of him? And if I remember correctly there was a lot of hesitation about it.

 

[teleméres69]

Probably would now knowing everyone knows it is small and obscured by his flab

Didn’t Corina catfish it out of him? And if I remember correctly there was a lot of hesitation about it.

 

[Club Sandwich]

Even if you added an extra two inches, that thing would not be serviceable, not to me or any woman I know. Cmon fam.

i have not been "blessed" with witnessing Wernpud; mostly because i need my eyes for things. but assuming that's true, and that some of the guys on the short end of the stick can still make do and have a happy life, that would place the Wern at under 1.5" or so. given Lucas' extra padding, there's likely about an inch under his FUPA when erect (or whatever passes for erect when you're a complete physical wreck and get winded screaming like a loon at a phone in the park).

why on earth would you ever admit to this or ever send out picture proof of it. the mind boggles. let's pretend Lucas has dad-bod and is pudgy but still fits in a medium tee and 32" pants. that's still at best 4" when erect, possibly less. especially when a really common side effect is erectile dysfunction for a lot of mood disorder drugs.

is this why he kept harping on fisting or whatever? i completely missed his anal torture proclamations. i fully expect Lucas to be the type of guy that gets really flustered, frustrated, angry, and taking it out on whatever poor woman he tricked into sex. the type of guy that could get pathetically angry (where he just doesn't know what to do in anger and expresses it violently but still doesn't want to risk consequences to himself, you know the type, they're often passive aggressive in the extreme).

Didn’t Corina catfish it out of him? And if I remember correctly there was a lot of hesitation about it.

sadly this is like the 2nd round of dick pictures he's put out there that have leaked to the public.

 

[dirtydeanna96]

I just had to search both the farms and Google for "anal torture" as I wasn't sure what it meant. Lucas confirmed for pornbrain.

Yeah @wenttobermuda I saw that.

• Post #330
• Mar 2, 2016

I can't really find anything in the psychological literature, apart from something ancient by frood.
Does anyone know if this fetish has a proper clinical name?

 

[wenttobermuda]

I just had to search both the farms and Google for "anal torture" as I wasn't sure what it meant. Lucas confirmed for pornbrain.

The great, eminent Wernologist @QueenBurritoSupreme first broke the news that Lucas was heavily into S&M, specifically anal torture. She is, in my opinion, a reliable source, especially in light of the fisting content Lucas has produced, the repeated claims that anal specifically with him has mystical rejuvenative properties, and his fond memories of nutting in his GF's asshole.

My suspicion is that he consumes tremendous amounts of porn, and engages in marathon jack off sessions. Because his dick doesn't work right.

Where does he rub 'em now that he's a true hobo?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

The great, eminent Wernologist @QueenBurritoSupreme first broke the news that Lucas was heavily into S&M, specifically anal torture. She is, in my opinion, a reliable source, especially in light of the fisting content Lucas has produced, the repeated claims that anal specifically with him has mystical rejuvenative properties, and his fond memories of nutting in his GF's asshole.

My suspicion is that he consumes tremendous amounts of porn, and engages in marathon jack off sessions. Because his dick doesn't work right.

Where does he rub 'em now that he's a true hobo?

Gotta be the portajohn / vlog studio / selfie background.

 

[Fatal Walter]

Lucas is significantly worse than a hobo. Hobos travel and tell good stories. Lucas is just a miserable, entitled home bum.

 

[AbraCadaver]

i have not been "blessed" with witnessing Wernpud; mostly because i need my eyes for things. but assuming that's true, and that some of the guys on the short end of the stick can still make do and have a happy life, that would place the Wern at under 1.5" or so. given Lucas' extra padding, there's likely about an inch under his FUPA when erect (or whatever passes for erect when you're a complete physical wreck and get winded screaming like a loon at a phone in the park).

why on earth would you ever admit to this or ever send out picture proof of it. the mind boggles. let's pretend Lucas has dad-bod and is pudgy but still fits in a medium tee and 32" pants. that's still at best 4" when erect, possibly less. especially when a really common side effect is erectile dysfunction for a lot of mood disorder drugs.

is this why he kept harping on fisting or whatever? i completely missed his anal torture proclamations. i fully expect Lucas to be the type of guy that gets really flustered, frustrated, angry, and taking it out on whatever poor woman he tricked into sex. the type of guy that could get pathetically angry (where he just doesn't know what to do in anger and expresses it violently but still doesn't want to risk consequences to himself, you know the type, they're often passive aggressive in the extreme).


sadly this is like the 2nd round of dick pictures he's put out there that have leaked to the public.

If you don’t want to look, just imagine a swedish meatball. Not a regular meatball, but one of those small ones you can buy in a bag at IKEA.

that is what his dick resembles.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

If you don’t want to look, just imagine a swedish meatball. Not a regular meatball, but one of those small ones you can buy in a bag at IKEA.

that is what his dick resembles.

But frostbitten. Like it's the last Swedish meatball in a bag that you find crumpled up in the back of your freezer and you forgot that you bought the Swedish meatballs and there's only one left so you can't use it so you take it out thaw it in the microwave put it on a piece of bread and make a sad sandwich.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Lucas is significantly worse than a hobo. Hobos travel and tell good stories. Lucas is just a miserable, entitled home bum.

The one positive about being homeless is that you can travel and see tons of places. But, Lucas is too lazy and needs that specific Spokane 18-24 girl that has ignored him for years. He just wants to lay around naked in his bed, ramble incoherently at his Kindle, and fill the room with his grime and foul odors.

 

[WonderWino]

...not related to lucas specifically but since this exact thing was literally just brought up a few posts ago I thought I would link it, as it is somewhat relevant:

1 dead after fire at homeless encampment

One person has died following a fire at a homeless encampment under a bridge near Bloor Street East and Mount Pleasant Road, the City of Toronto said in a news release issued Friday. "The city extends its deepest condolences to the friends and family of the deceased individual," the release

ca.news.yahoo.com

Something lucas should keep in mind before going off to live in some hobo camp or in a tent and a good reminder that such things do regularly happen to such places

Also, 'homeless camp under a bridge' sounds eerily like lucas's future

 

[Kane Lives]

The one positive about being homeless is that you can travel and see tons of places. But, Lucas is too lazy and needs that specific Spokane 18-24 girl that has ignored him for years. He just wants to lay around naked in his bed, ramble incoherently at his Kindle, and fill the room with his grime and foul odors.

The one thing I don't get is how the homeless recharge their electronics. Currently, Lucas has his shelter room so I guess he could recharge there. Does the Spokane public library allow this?

 

[teleméres69]

Probably has some socket around the shelter Lucas uses to charge his phone. Would be great if he lost the ability to charge his phone for a while and had nobody to talk to or vent his incel mania at for like a month

The one thing I don't get is how the homeless recharge their electronics. Currently, Lucas has his shelter room so I guess he could recharge there. Does the Spokane public library allow this?

 

[Fatal Walter]

The buses around here have charging ports and I'm in a small town. I'd be surprised if Spokane's didn't. But Lucas already disappeared for a while and it might have been over charging his phone. I don't think he's very resourceful and a lot of options are cut off right now.

 

[PrincessKidana]

He has been quiet... Hopefully he is able to charge his phone. I missed my soap opera today.