Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

PrincessKidana said:
Could you imagine Gordon Ramsay critiquing Lucas' food? Fuck, I wish he would. Someone email Gordon pictures of Lucas' "cooking". Like right now.
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I can't even lie, if Gordon Ramsay had a reasonably affordable Cameo, I would pay him to critique the cucumbers microwaved with cheese or the popcorn pasta.

It'd be worth it both to see the facial expressions he'd make at seeing a picture of either dish and to see Lucas try to make a rebuttal video/comments like he did with the Chris Hansen Cameo.
 
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klickitat said:
I can't even lie, if Gordon Ramsay had a reasonably affordable Cameo, I would pay him to critique the cucumbers microwaved with cheese or the popcorn pasta.

It'd be worth it both to see the facial expressions he'd make at seeing a picture of either dish and to see Lucas try to make a rebuttal video/comments like he did with the Chris Hansen Cameo.
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Indeed, those dishes, plus the one where he argued with people about the safety issues with cross contamination caused by putting raw vegetables on raw chicken and claiming it was perfectly safe 'cause i'm cooking it for over an hour' and 'I do it all the time' and couldn't understand its about the temperature being insufficient to kill any bacteria on the vegetables rather than the amount of time it was cooked. Lucas doesn't understand food safety at all and I can see ramsay completely losing his shit if he saw how adamantly lucas was about how it was ok. Hell I can legitimately see him publicly posting that along with a clear food safety reference guide explaining exactly why it wasn't ok to be doing things like that, in the name of public safety in general
 
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He is on a fucking roll today... nervous breakdown coming up? 🤞🏻
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PrincessKidana said:
He is on a fucking roll today... nervous breakdown coming up? 🤞🏻
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Well thats concerning. That one pic looks like he took it while trying to break into some womans house in the middle fo the night ffs:

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That is flat out serial killer face right there. Literally something you'd see in a movie where the killer is staring at some woman through a bathroom window while shes in the shower and waiting to strike. It also eerily reminded me of eugene tooms:

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That he could post any of those pics and think its a good idea and makes him look good, ESPECIALLY that one raises all kinds of red flags. If he looked at a woman like that in public he'd be lucky not to get maced, might even get the cops called on him by making her think he was about to try something
 
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WonderWino said:
Well thats concerning. That one pic looks like he took it while trying to break into some womans house in the middle fo the night ffs:

View attachment 1270121

That is flat out serial killer face right there. Literally something you'd see in a movie where the killer is staring at some woman through a bathroom window while shes in the shower and waiting to strike. It also eerily reminded me of eugene tooms:

View attachment 1270123

That he could post any of those pics and think its a good idea and makes him look good, ESPECIALLY that one raises all kinds of red flags. If he looked at a woman like that in public he'd be lucky not to get maced, might even get the cops called on him by making her think he was about to try something
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He is absolutely horrifying.
 
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WonderWino said:
Well thats concerning. That one pic looks like he took it while trying to break into some womans house in the middle fo the night ffs:

View attachment 1270121

That is flat out serial killer face right there. Literally something you'd see in a movie where the killer is staring at some woman through a bathroom window while shes in the shower and waiting to strike. It also eerily reminded me of eugene tooms:

View attachment 1270123

That he could post any of those pics and think its a good idea and makes him look good, ESPECIALLY that one raises all kinds of red flags. If he looked at a woman like that in public he'd be lucky not to get maced, might even get the cops called on him by making her think he was about to try something
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Isnt he just pulling his coat over his head?
 
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PrincessKidana said:
Does he not realize that "bitch" is literally the feminine? Does he think that coming up with "trendy" new words will somehow make him "cool" with the younger kids?
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ruddy finger tips and whitish (whole, not just the tip) nails are a sign of liver disease and/or alcoholism. useful when you need to identify a wino from druggies from street kids when sorting people for processing after picking them up on a beat.

PrincessKidana said:
He is on a fucking roll today... nervous breakdown coming up? 🤞🏻
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i know he's used "queen" and "kween" before, which i guess is normalized enough (not the barring the spelling of the latter), but very few men ever refer to themselves as "king" or a "king". either it's a nickname that's been earned in some way, or part of an expression. the way he's using it here is just showing off ego.

if you look at his hair, it's back to being greasy/sweaty/unkempt. very inconsistent, which i guess can be expected if he's homeless and kicked out of shelters mostly.

beyond that, wtf is he getting at with the last one? Lucas has no friends to call him either niqqa or nigga, and used like that he's doing the white boy thing of playing at the edge of catching a beat down for "being racist". then there's the sentence itself: call him a king and treat him as a king?

that picture is reversed too. is that bandit dry rosé box wine? he's not quite at the point of being a lush, but is spooling around the drunk hobo label. you'll know when he hits desparate drunk when he has 4-5 of the little bottles from the gas station and downs them in an hour.
 
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It seems that Lucas is still drinking. Good.

And still telling an entire generation that he loves them.

And demanding Zoomer Baes love him like he "needs to be loved." Mommy/provider/niece/slave.

Sometimes I feel a glimmer of sympathy for Lucas. He is just so pathetic. It seldom lasts long, because he is also utterly vile in body and spirit. This "#FamousPerson" shit is legitimately sad. But funny: a "celebrity," a king even, begging for fast food. It's even sadder that he's being indulged.

another idiot said:
That guy is an idiot and I hope that it's not anyone from here.
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Some asshole is frying the catfish. Poor form. But I'll admit what all Wernologists know: it is a delight when Lucas is catfished. We got the whole Spokane Saga that way, the crying pics, the dick pics, the creepy "sexy" DMs.

I'd like to blame SOFALAW. Just because. But if you insist on tipping the cow, go darker. Lucas needs his own personal Blue Spike.
 
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On the one hand, no, please don't literally feed Lucas' ungrateful, hypocritical begging.

On the other, if people just buy him fatty shit like pizza and burgers (no sushi, you we.ens!) watching him balloon even further could be funny.

Or maybe shit like "I'll buy you a 5th of brandy but you have to chug the whole thing in a minute on video."

Or just don't buy him shit.
 
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Particle Bored said:
On the one hand, no, please don't literally feed Lucas' ungrateful, hypocritical begging.

On the other, if people just buy him fatty shit like pizza and burgers (no sushi, you we.ens!) watching him balloon even further could be funny.

Or maybe shit like "I'll buy you a 5th of brandy but you have to chug the whole thing in a minute on video."

Or just don't buy him shit.
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If anything he should be asking for deodorant, a new shirt and some shampoo. Those would be worth the cost at least and be a positive for the people of spokane

That said, i'm starting to wonder if tom hardy is playing al capone or future lucas:

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WonderWino said:
If anything he should be asking for deodorant, a new shirt and some shampoo. Those would be worth the cost at least and be a positive for the people of spokane

That said, i'm starting to wonder if tom hardy is playing al capone or future lucas:

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The fact he wastes time editing his pics, when only this morning he posted several pics of his horribly pasty, disgustingly fat, diseased torso. Does he think an edited pic with his rat tail pulled back will make a zoomer chick forget his shirtless pics?
 
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Garfieldchu said:
Still whining about non-existent friends friend-zoning him, eh? What's he going to do if some ovulator says yes? He doesn't even have a sink to piss in.

Lucas is going to be on the streets for the rest of his life, isn't he?
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If the ladies of Washington are lucky, the rest of his life will be under 3 years.
 
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Agoraphobic Bullshit said:
If the ladies of Washington are lucky, the rest of his life will be under 3 years.
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That.....or he ends up living for a disturbingly long time after the MRSA rots through his brain, causing him to regress to the mind of an animal and waddles off into the woods and mountains of the pacific northwest, where he becomes regularly mistaken for a a sasquatch and lives entirely off of carrion and by stealing food from hikers and campers at night. He would become known to schoolgirls on playgrounds as the wicked wern of the woods and many mothers would discipline their children, telling them to be home before dark and eat their vegetables or else the wicked wern will come down from his fartbox in the alpine peaks of the pacific northwest and carry them off in the night to eat them.....covered in cucumbers and cheese

It would be an equally appropriate fate. and if that should be his future its best we agree to put together a team of kiwi hunters to bravely venture into the woods and put down the beast for good if it should ever come to that, before he inevitably starts attacking hikers and campers in search of juicy wombs and boxed wine
 
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