Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Krathnami]

what are the odds Lucas ever gets the balls to kill himself, realistically

He’s promised to kill himself at age 55 if he doesn’t accomplish his goals, but I think the odds are greater he dies of natural causes before then. I can’t envision a reasonable scenario in which his life’s trajectory goes anywhere but sharply downward from here.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

I used to leave his videos running in a separate tab whilst I carried on reading on here but disconnecting his animate potato of a face from the noises he makes has provoked a thought.

Could you tell the difference between a transcription of a Wern video that you hadn't seen yet and the output of a shitposting bot programmed with his, say, 30 most used phrases? I'm not 100% sure I could, anymore and I'm not sure if that's good or not...

 

[Particle Bored]

Yeah, I got it, and the crying one, and everything up until the Blue Sock video.

ahaha at 3:28 someone at the shelter says "hey where the women at?" as Lucas walks by. They say some other shit but I can't make it out. Also still thinks "ACAB" is a "group."

 

[LeeLoo]

ahaha at 3:28 someone at the shelter says "hey where the women at?" as Lucas walks by. They say some other shit but I can't make it out. Also still thinks "ACAB" is a "group."

Hahaha!! That’s amazing!! Just like “STFU faggot”, did you see the look on Fatty’s face when that guy said “where the women at”?! I love when the fat fuck gets trolled to his fat gourd shaped face!

 

[WonderWino]

Hahaha!! That’s amazing!! Just like “STFU faggot”, did you see the look on Fatty’s face when that guy said “where the women at”?! I love when the fat fuck gets trolled to his fat gourd shaped face!

The expression made it look like his brain was short circuiting for a second wondering if the guy that yelled that at him was going to start something. There was a bit of panic for a second or so

Clearly the other hobos are well aware of his ranting and aren't very fond of him. He probably never shuts his mouth about it

 

[teleméres69]

Okay, I was wrong about it being fake. He's been crocodile tears posting for the last few hours. For a brief moment I thought he might have achieved self awareness, and he goes back to autistic screeching about being an incel. Lucas really never will change, and I'm kinda glad

I went ahead and recorded it just in case.

Spoiler: Screaming warning

View attachment 1413721

Just, yikes.
Remember, bigots, it's all just a comedy act!

Thankfully for the kids, its not in the cards for you Lucas. Thanks for showing you're a pro contact map though

The comment section from that video is a doozy.

Lucas is the penultimate manchild. Thows tantrums when he isn't getting what he wants, then tries himself out and takes a nap

His stepdad was 100% right. He is a textbook example of Rapid Cycling bipolar.

He goes from sobbing, to raging, to sneering, to napping (like a little toddler who wore himself out with his tantrum) in the course of an hour.

Which video is this from?

The expression made it look like his brain was short circuiting for a second wondering if the guy that yelled that at him was going to start something. There was a bit of panic for a second or so

Clearly the other hobos are well aware of his ranting and aren't very fond of him. He probably never shuts his mouth about it

 

[Pump Meat]

what are the odds Lucas ever gets the balls to kill himself, realistically

I'd lay the odds below 5% long term and it will assuredly involve violence. The emotional dysregulation Lucas undergoes isn't the typical depression you'd find in a Major Depressive Disorder or even someone experiencing a state of Psychotic Depression; his suicide will be conceived and executed as a type of revenge and/or legacy building. When Lucas is depressed it is motivated by a sense of injustice without of hint of self-loathing, guilt, or shame. Lucas has more in common with Elliot Rodger than a cow like Noah Antwiler (a.k.a The Spoony One), but he is even less capable of carrying out a spree killing than your usual incel.

Lucas sexually assaulting a child or young adult is simply an inevitability in my mind, he'll eventually convince himself that he can get away with it and/or the broad public will be very sympathetic to his situation and give him a pass. If he attacks a stranger or acquaintance, he might use some kind of blade as a means of intimidation and get himself shot either by a victim or law enforcement officer.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

The expression made it look like his brain was short circuiting for a second wondering if the guy that yelled that at him was going to start something. There was a bit of panic for a second or so

Clearly the other hobos are well aware of his ranting and aren't very fond of him. He probably never shuts his mouth about it

Every time I see him wandering the HoC, sperging wildly, I'm always slightly astounded that no one's just straight up shanked him on the street. He's so fucking abrasive, I don't know how people can bear him in person.

 

[WonderWino]

Every time I see him wandering the HoC, sperging wildly, I'm always slightly astounded that no one's just straight up shanked him on the street. He's so fucking abrasive, I don't know how people can bear him in person.

If he stays there long enough it'll probably happen sooner or later. I'd bet money on him having been threatened a few times at least. Hence his expression when called out during the video and the fact he was doing videos so far out of downtown spokane for awhile

and yet again the simpsons predicted lucas. this is exactly the kind of video i'd expect him to try to make at some point....only his would be more disjointed and include references to zoomers and communism thrown in somewhere

At a minimum they got his age, appearance, fartbox, rapid aging, showing up at little girls girl guide meetings and the womens reaction to seeing him irl spot on

 

[Wernology]

I got bored and dug through the wayback machine to put his old, embarrassing sites back online (or, as much as I could find archived).

https://virtualwern.com/

Also here, part 2 of some rapid cycling.

At a few points, he starts to sound ALMOST self aware that all of his 'friends' are just there for entertainment purposes and are just trolling him.

 

[mothman96]

Question:

It's been more than 3 days, right? How is Lucas still plodding around the HOC like he owns the place?

Thats a good question. Makes me question if the whole thing was bs. either way they won't let him be an idiot around there forever. if he isn't careful he'll get himself kicked out again

I'd say the Spokane Pedo Freak is playing HOC, giving the person who runs the place a "sob story" of how his feet still "hurt".

 

[Particle Bored]

I hope Lucas doesnt get murdered at HOC. We're already getting to see what it would be like if he died there. I'm just wondering if ghost-Lucas, wandering the halls of House of Charity at all hours, oblivious to his surroundings, rambling into his phone, would smell better or worse than live Lucas.

 

[Wernology]

I hope Lucas doesnt get murdered at HOC. We're already getting to see what it would be like if he died there. I'm just wondering if ghost-Lucas, wandering the halls of House of Charity at all hours, oblivious to his surroundings, rambling into his phone, would smell better or worse than live Lucas.

Staff and residents will start reporting hearing distant yells of, "WHERE THE WOMEN AT?!" and "GREEDMONGER!" in the bathroom and quiet sobbing in bunk 13 for years to come.

 

[Da Dude123]

But next week he will walk 4 miles of goldorfs podcast to show everyone what a man he is. This while telling HOC that he needs to stay in cause his feet hurt and all he can do is walk to the weed store.

I'd say the Spokane Pedo Freak is playing HOC, giving the person who runs the place a "sob story" of how his feet still "hurt".

 

[ProgKing of the North]

Why doesn’t he hop a freight train down to Seattle and join CHAZ?

 

[WonderWino]

I hope Lucas doesnt get murdered at HOC. We're already getting to see what it would be like if he died there. I'm just wondering if ghost-Lucas, wandering the halls of House of Charity at all hours, oblivious to his surroundings, rambling into his phone, would smell better or worse than live Lucas.

Plus he would probably go full force ghost greybeard obi wan and try to groom the next resident of bunk 13 to be his host body or to bring him a child so he could be reborn like in ghostbusters 2

'I, lucas werner, the scourge of the house of charity, the sorrow of spokane command you: bring me a zoomer bae so that I might live again. Now is the season of greybeards'

All the while trapping the hobo residents and staff within the HOC by covering it with a dome made of thick layers of telomerase

 

[Particle Bored]

Holy fuck lol... The Doors playing in the background during the masked clip...

"People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down"

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Lucas's most recent Instagram videos are back to ultra ego, telling everyone that the reason they don't give him phone numbers is because he would take all the women forever, always...and everyone knows that.

He insists that the reason he doesn't go up to women is because when 6 women are together he would easily get all of them but he's not that kind of a guy so that's what stops him from talking to even one.

It's amazing how he Cycles between suicide and this level of ego all in one day.

I find this Mania confidence even more hilarious than his depression.

Questions for Lucas: if you're so Mac Daddy and so cocky, why do you need teenage boys to give you phone numbers? Expend some of that bravado and GET YOUR OWN WOMEN.

He's decided that younger men can't compete because theyre "playing daddy" but he's the genuine article, a real husband and father.

He chides guys for calling women bitches.

You know what? I think we might just have a video of Lucas somewhere in the archives calling women bitchez. Just one, you know not millions or anything.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas's most recent Instagram videos are back to ultra ego, telling everyone that the reason they don't give him phone numbers is because he would take all the women forever, always...and everyone knows that.

He insists that the reason he doesn't go up to women is because when 6 women are together he would easily get all of them but he's not that kind of a guy so that's what stops him from talking to even one.

It's amazing how he Cycles between suicide and this level of ego all in one day.

I find this Mania confidence even more hilarious than his depression.

I mean he isn't entirely wrong in that belief. If he went up to a group of women like that it would easy to get them all

.....Get them all reaching into their purse for their pepper spray

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

I like how it never occurs to Lucas that grouping all Gen Z girls into this homogenous category of “communist” is just like saying “all Mexicans are lazy” or “all blacks steal“. He does this with everyone he comes across, lumps them into broad, unwavering categories. It’s the same kind of stereotyping used by people incapable of nuanced thought, and it’s integral to understanding Lucas’s schizo thinking. For Lucas’s so called “intellectual superiority“ it‘s quite an indictment of the “depth“ of his thinking.