Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Ugh, working on tonight's upload.

It's getting late and if he uploads anything more after this 44 minute compilation of Beetus The Hutt will have to get caught tomorrow because I'd like to be in bed before midnight.

Video is rendering, I'll update this when it's finally up on Youtube.

Here. Enjoy until Sugardaddy Goldy uploads the podcast.

 
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Ugh, working on tonight's upload.

It's getting late and if he uploads anything more after this 44 minute compilation of Beetus The Hutt will have to get caught tomorrow because I'd like to be in bed before midnight.

Video is rendering, I'll update this when it's finally up on Youtube.

I don't care what anyone says, you are an essential worker.
 
Lucas is out on the streets. His latest video on Instagram shows this. Must not have checked into ragman hq. He is going on about how his family is plenty good and how they owned cows, body shops, and travel agencies. And since they care so much about him he will get it. Him living on the streets is irelevant. He is openly smoking weed and he will surely be dropin dirty on his next drug test.
 
Lucas is out on the streets. His latest video on Instagram shows this. Must not have checked into ragman hq. He is going on about how his family is plenty good and how they owned cows, body shops, and travel agencies. And since they care so much about him he will get it. Him living on the streets is irelevant. He is openly smoking weed and he will surely be dropin dirty on his next drug test.

Lucas has delivered an exceptional amount of quality cow content today, even for him.

Less than 90 seconds in to this most recent 14 minute video and I'm somehow still surprised. He's talking about how being homeless is just like camping. And that he lives at the homeless shelter because he enjoys the lifestyle, he's eating the food he wants and he's not paying rent. He did not check in to HOC tonight and is planning to stay in the woods tonight, which is something he says he does when he's got cash in his pocket...for some reason.

Instagram - Bernie Sanders Upon Thee - 12:00 left in the video - "I make all these friends who are like these gorgeous homeless dudes who hook up with like, hot women..."

Big Gay Lucas is gay

This one is really good. He's barely holding it together after this latest catfish. Either that or he's having a manic episode.

"I'm a clown and I'm ready to get down"

Watch until the very last second. This is why Lucas is my favorite cow by far. Despite spending the past 8 years documenting and broadcasting his incel journey, he's insane enough to claim he recently had an internal struggle about whether or not he should bed these two honies at once. Ultimately he decided not to because he hates opulence and greed...
 
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Why does he say certain words like he's from northern Wisconsin?

"Eh yah fayget, I brought a bayggie of weed wit me."
Lucas thinks that saying the word "faggot" brands one a homophobe, while saying the word "faygot" is okay and different even though in his own context it means literally the same thing as "faggot".
Lucas thinks that words are like magical spells, as evidenced by his belief that speaking like a cracked out zoomer will attract them to him.
 
Lucas, Karma is already hitting you real hard as evidenced by your horrible tormented life.

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  1. Lucas is eating AGAIN today. I can’t really tell what kind of restaurant (Mexican maybe?) (Edit: It's Mexican. He's go into great detail later)
  2. Lucas has this condescending smirk on his face and is chuckling as he’s giving his life story, despite none of what he’s saying being at all funny.
  3. He’s disgustingly eating and then licking his fingers
  4. He’s talking about Marfan syndrome again. Implies his stepdad may have it and even asked him if he had it.
  5. Clearly making fun of ‘nerds’ and ‘skinny dudes’ consistent with past statements alluding to how physically imposing he thinks of himself.. Says stepdad is not skinny anymore due to water volleyball.
  6. His parents are ‘age gappers’ too. Mom is the younger one which seems please Lucas.
  7. Rambles on and on about how his parents/family communicate on Facebook, for some reason sounds like he’s bragging. The whole video he has the facial expressions and tone/inflection in his voice as though he’s bragging but nothing about what he’s saying is interesting much less impressive.
  8. So much fucking mundane detail about his shitty life growing up. Again not even interesting.
  9. Says he drove his stepdad’s car through a fire but he wasn’t mad because he has money to burn. And that his forgiveness in this matter has earned him grandchildren.
  10. Telamorase nonsense
  11. Fucked around at college and landed on the honor roll.
  12. Plans to get buff when he starts college next year. Not trying to look like a clown though.
  13. Had a date planned today with a Viatnamese/Portugese chick. Didn't happen clearly but not sure why.
  14. Calls some guy named Ben Palmer a homo for trolling him. Says if you’re gay you’re gay Ben, it’s not a big deal.
  15. Again doesn’t understand what ACAB is
  16. More disgusting finger licking
  17. Says Gen Z is a big generation, bigger than the millennial and bigger than gen x. Sure there’s some baby boomers but it’s mostly get z out there. You’re all for Bernie Sanders, so why won’t you fuck me?
  18. Direct quote: The moment you say ‘bro’ or ‘dude’ or ‘nigga’ to me? I’m out. Because that’s a sign you’re not sophisticated to be my girl.
  19. We’re on ‘honey’ and ‘babe’ and ‘sweetheart’ here, not that^
  20. Says he is for 100% security cameras and no police. A robot will come put you in the squad car and take you to jail. (Absolutely nothing could go wrong with a plan as well thought out as this)
  21. Says he’ll be mayor of Spokane if you give him the money to run.
  22. Admits he’s having a little binge day. In the video before this he admits this and says that having lost 200 lbs he deserves a binge day every once in a while.
  23. He doesn’t explain this really but apparently his date today was leaving him voicemails and it just didn’t seem like the date would happen. Half vietnamese/half portugese chick.
  24. He wanted her to prove she was real and in Spokane but she didn’t give him the proof. Needs video proof. Been doing this for 8 years, this ain’t his first rodeo Says his artist friend in Australia wouldn’t do something like that to him.
  25. “Get aids for all I fucking care. It’s your fucking life. Be in a better relationship with an older man. Better than the wiggers and the hip hop crowd.
  26. He can obviously afford a good date. The homeless shelter is basically like a dorm.
  27. He’s got $75 now even after he bought that big old baygie of weed. Plenty money.
  28. He’s not phased by the catfish.
  29. You’ve seen the chicks liking his posts. Those are his friends. He would totally hook up with them. The inflection in his voice is the most bizarre fucking thing.
  30. Does some shoutouts to his close friends, like the guy who says ‘badass’ on all his posts
  31. He’s in a good mood, you don’t phase him, you think cat fishing bothers him?
  32. How could gen Z possibly not know he exists? He’s the one who came up with the theory. The sperm theory. You know? You KNOW!!
  33. “It’s your loss. It’s like, my balls. In my body it's my rules!”
  34. “They always say if you want a chick you have to date yourself. So I mean I go out on dates with myself” (They don't say this, Lucas)
  35. “I might shed a tear about it later, but it’s all catharsis for me bae!”
  36. I think by the end of the 14 minutes he had kind of told the story about his ‘date’ today. Spoiler: It was a catfish.
Somehow the most ridiculous part of this video isn't what he talks about. It's the blatantly transparent facade he is putting on in an attempt to show he's not bothered by being catfished...again.
I agree with you on the way he was talking being bizarre; it was this weird little affected accent he was doing, part of it was trying to affect cheerfulness and show he's not upset that he was catfished again, but part of it was almost a weird Midwestern accent, it was very strange.

I get the impression that Lucas plays different characters, because he really doesn't have much of a personality other than his desires and his Rage and his sadness.

He doesn't know how to be an adult, so you plays little roles: the tough guy, the scientist, the crude guy, Etc
 
Lucas thinks that saying the word "faggot" brands one a homophobe, while saying the word "faygot" is okay and different even though in his own context it means literally the same thing as "faggot".

It says a lot about Lucas' ideas that I genuinely can't tell if he has really said this or you are making up something outlandish in order to mock him.

If this is true, I'm very interested. I'm curious to hear it explained in Lucas' retarded words.
 
Jfc even knowing about the 297/295 pounds, Lucas looks really bloated here. No wonder women don't want to date or fuck him. If Lucas ended up as big as that Boogie guy on YouTube one day, I wouldn't be that surprised. Thought he wasnt allowed weed on his parole tho. Posting videos of him smoking with high schoolers probably isn't the smartest thing, but then it's a good reminder how he's retarded enough to get catfished at least 11 times now
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Jfc even knowing about the 297/295 pounds, Lucas looks really bloated here. No wonder women don't want to date or fuck him. If Lucas ended up as big as that Boogie guy on YouTube one day, I wouldn't be that surprised. Thought he wasnt allowed weed on his parole tho. Posting videos of him smoking with high schoolers probably isn't the smartest thing, but then it's a good reminder how he's retarded enough to get catfished at least 11 times now
No surprise he looks bloated, he did the same thing today that he always does whenever he gets a check, he bought some weed, and he spent the rest of the money on meal after meal after meal until the money was almost depleted.

I think he ate in restaurants three or four times today?

He can call that a "binge", and try to justify it by saying he rarely eats that much, but it's ridiculous.

I'm starting to think there must be something wrong with Lucas's appetite, like on a clinical level.

Because I don't know about everyone else, but Lucas never seems to encounter the "eyes are bigger than stomach" Trope. You know, when you see a lot of food and it looks so good and you overfill your plate? But then you start eating, and you realize "Wow, I'm getting full, I overestimated how much I could actually eat", and you feel kind of silly.

Lucas doesn't seem to have that; he eats a gigantic meal, then immediately goes and eats another gigantic meal, and then immediately goes and eats yet another gigantic meal.

And when you look at the table during these meals he always has two or more drinks. Like, two sodas? Or, a soda and an alcoholic drink? I've never seen anyone else do this.

The weed seem to put Lucas in a really manic, repetitive mood today... Even for Lucas.

I'm not sure which video it is, one of the 14-minute ones, he kept repeating the same thought over and over again like he was walking in circles in a tiny little space.
Got attacked by baseball bats, bar has the footage, going to go to college, classism, etc etc etc. There was more to it than that, but it was insane, even for him.

I guess today was a day with a lot more stimulus than Lucas is used to, between Goldie's podcast, seeing his friend Isaac, the catfish date, the money, all the meals, and sleeping out in the woods.

Probably the most "active" day he's had in a long time.

I like how he's already started saying he's in college. Not that he plans to go to college, not that he intends to enroll in college, no....just flat out saying that he's in college now.

The highlight of the day for me, was hearing Lucas interact with Goldie's girl. It made me realize something I should have expected, which is that Lucas will put up with a lot more coming from a girl than a guy, and he also seems to miss any subtextual mocking, or Clues based on the tone of voice, when it comes from a girl. His guard is down; he described the interaction with her as flirting, and he missed some pretty obvious questions that were phrased in a way that was clearly critical of him.
 
I'm listening to the podcast episode now, and like others have mentioned Gold's gf is much better at interviewing and it makes for solid entertainment. It's just that whenever she interrupts one of his frenzied ramblings with a "Lucaaas" and he responds "yeEEHHsss?" .. It makes me feel sick and I think if I hear it one more time I'll need to tap out

I can just imagine that gummy "I keep all the heads of my victims in my bed" creepy smile when he's saying it. Just imagine the kinds of interactions he'd have with little girls if he somehow stumbled onto a school playground
 
He is going on about how his family is plenty good and how they owned cows, body shops, and travel agencies.
yet the body shop was sold, the property isn't listed as an active farm, nor are there any cows there now for slaughter or for dairy. the travel agency was operated (owned? independent consultant?) by his mother who retired from it years ago. and none of it involves Lucas in any way, and none of it can be inherited by Lucas either. i guess the home and property with a healthy dose of optimism, but it seems that his family holds him at arms length at best and i doubt he would be willed anything.
It made me realize something I should have expected, which is that Lucas will put up with a lot more coming from a girl than a guy, and he also seems to miss any subtextual mocking, or Clues based on the tone of voice, when it comes from a girl. His guard is down; he described the interaction with her as flirting, and he missed some pretty obvious questions that were phrased in a way that was clearly critical of him.
Lucas is a simp, the annoying, needy, fawning, pathetic creepy simp that pines for a girl, any girl to give him affection because he has zero redeeming or attractive qualities and depends on the pity of others to have social standing. others pity him so he gets welfare. others pity him so he lives in a homeless shelter. others pity him and give him handouts like a handheld game console or a phone or money or positive social media responses.

i'm not at all surprised he's acts that way around a woman regardless of who she is, or how she's talking to him or how she ignores him. he doesn't care about any particular woman, because they're all interchangeable to him. it's the idea of the object of a woman that he desparately reaches for, as many others have already noted.

this level of neediness and frankly disturbing objectification, borderline fetish, is super creepy to any normal person, and probably much more so to women in general since most are far more paranoid about creepy dudes being creepy.

also i've never known weed to stimulate someone before that wasn't already on some sort of upper. that's somewhat of an oddity to me, maybe he's taking other drugs?
 
I'm starting to think there must be something wrong with Lucas's appetite, like on a clinical level... he eats a gigantic meal, then immediately goes and eats another gigantic meal, and then immediately goes and eats yet another gigantic meal.

...I guess today was a day with a lot more stimulus than Lucas is used to, between Goldie's podcast, seeing his friend Isaac, the catfish date, the money, all the meals, and sleeping out in the woods.

Probably the most "active" day he's had in a long time.

This one is really good. He's barely holding it together after this latest catfish. Either that or he's having a manic episode.

If Lucas were bipolar, as opposed to merely a big baby, I'd say he is entering a manic phase. One symptom of mania that Lucas has historically demonstrated is irritability. He was quick to anger today, as well as active, impulsive and grandiose (especially as it relates to his "date" and homeless "life style"). He was also overheard talking to himself at the mall, prior to Goldy's show. I expect Lucas's content over the next few days to be remarkable.

In case you've ever wondered how someone reaches 500+ lbs, Lucas gave a little demonstration today. This is, it seems the way he eats when he can. It's rather uncomfortable to observe Lucas's vice in action; like watching an alcoholic drink.

At a weight of around 295, he presents himself as 220. He doesn't represent his weight accurately, and I wouldn't be surprised if at his heaviest he was more than 500 lbs. Not that it matters at that point. But Lucas is one soft, fat fuck.
 
Lucas is very impressed with his drinking ability. Watching him down these weak pseudo-spirits, trying to act as if he's "driven to drink" by Gen Z while affecting nonchalance, well... I just find it very funny indeed.

Videos where Lucas acts like his idea of a certain character are often my favorites: tough guy, scientist, or in this case, romantic, heartbroken wino.

This video is another must watch. As @wenttobermuda predicted, Lucas is gifting us el primo content! By the latter third of the video, Lucas is no longer acting. He's very angry, very sad, and addressing a person that's not there... seemingly a few steps away from a complete emotional breakdown. I have a feeling that smoking all this weed, and drinking all this garbage booze, isn't really helping his problems. Whodathunkit?

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Lucas found a new way to waste his money: he bought eight of these bottles of cheap fake alcohol, and is going to drink them one after another for some kind of "weird publicity stunt", which makes less than no sense, even for Lucas.

Hey, guess what? Lucas is a moron.

These drinks are 32 proof, which means they're 16% alcohol. Lucas thinks they're 64% alcohol, which would be quite strong indeed. Stronger, in fact, than my rather tasty 125 proof, 62.5 % alcohol Oregon Spirit Absinthe Original, if you'll excuse the plug.

Yes, Lucas thinks his corner store bum wine ($1.99) is stronger than this.

Lucas is very proud of his ability to down alcohol. Talking about how they "Go Down Smooth", and how "you saw how easily" he drank that one. It's like a little teenage kid, trying to impress his friends by drinking too fast... as we KNOW Lucas can, and does. Anyone else remember the Rolling Rock / Christian Bros. Brandy, back when fatty had a roof over his head?

Most adults aren't really impressed by homeless 40 year old men being able to down cheap fake alcohol. That's actually kind of the expectation. What a rebel. A homeless man drinking recklessly. Quel Shocker.

For those who wonder what Lucas is actually drinking, bottled by Maine-based Brookstone Distilling Company — the faux liquors are really a high-percentage grape wine flavored to taste like alcohol. Each bottle is 16 percent alcohol and 32 proof, which allows them to be sold in stores that sell beer and wine, available until midnight — long after the liquor stores have closed.

They're reputed to taste terrible.

Spoiler: Halfway through the video, Lucas is visibly sickened by drinking these disgusting things.

Have fun, Fatty!
 
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