Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Given Lucas has publicly boasted about stitching on people for drugs, I doubt it's the sort of place he wants to stay at. Soon as they find out Lucas is a 'narc' they'll want to throw his creeper ass out, if not whoop his 3xl ass
I suspect lucas will spill the beans about the details on his own before too long. That said if hes skulking around crackhouses and similarly shitty areas he won't stay very long. He'll piss someone off before too long. Nobody will want anything to do with him as soon as he starts constantly ranting, especially once the money dries up for the month

and I tend to believe the statement that its likely a crackhouse. Lucas has no friends and nobody that does know him would want him living with them, nor would they refer lucas to someone they know for the same reasons. That and nobody in their right mind would rent to him. So that leaves some skeevy hobo den or crackhouse that he found out about. I don't see him lasting long in such a place before he gets his ass thrown out or there is some kind of incident
 
I'm not sure how they do it in Spokane, but Lucas has no business lingering in a proper trap house. If he has in fact found and infiltrated one, this is a wonderful development. What a lovely place to spend your birthday.

So far our evidence is limited to a few grimy details in a picture, and an assessment of the doors that may be open to an aging, deranged hobo.

People at trap houses end up buying drugs (the good kind, not the legal, weak shit that Lucas worsens his mental health symptoms with), using drugs, encountering police, and otherwise having colorful and sordid experiences. Lucas, though homeless and familiar with jail, is by no means sophisticated denizen of the underworld. Rather, he's Lucas, a fat, ridiculous mark to be taken advantage of and discarded.
Given Lucas has publicly boasted about stitching on people for drugs, I doubt it's the sort of place he wants to stay at. Soon as they find out Lucas is a 'narc' they'll want to throw his creeper ass out, if not whoop his 3xl ass
As uncomfortable as he is on the subjects of heroin and meth (he often goes to great lengths to assure the public he has no interest in them), you have a point. A trap house would not be his idea of a good place to be. But if there's a roof, there may be poon coming through, and he has no other options, I suspect he'd try to hang there. Assuming the denizens could stand him. Long enough to rob him.
 
I don't know what's more autistic that I went full @Goldaor and contacted the cow or that I am too stupid/lazy to combine these into a more user-friendly format, but basically he's "couch surfing" with a "friend."
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I don't know what's more autistic that I went full @Goldaor and contacted the cow or that I am too stupid/lazy to combine these into a more user-friendly format, but basically he's "couch surfing" with a "friend."
Ahahaha this mother fucker is so dense, still gets me every-time. Never change Lucas
Who am I kidding tho, of course you won't.
 
I don't know what's more autistic that I went full @Goldaor and contacted the cow or that I am too stupid/lazy to combine these into a more user-friendly format, but basically he's "couch surfing" with a "friend."

I almost spit my coffee out when lucas said 'sounds like something good in the cards for me'

He really is obsessed with that phrase

Its also interesting he insists on repeating his lie that hes currently a student. If this had been a real offer for him the landlord would likely start getting concerned when it became clear he wasn't a student and start wondering what else he was lying about, possibly giving him the boot for that alone

I bet lucas loves the idea of being in a loft above some women like that, he'd constantly try to perch himself half hidden over the railing or whatever and watch them hunched over like a gargoyle. Its also hilarious how he claims hes quiet (lol sure, in between screaming at his phone at 3am), can cook (the pics speak for themselves) and hes 'polite' which he is anything but

I also like how he claims he is staying in the shelter to save money. It totally has nothing to do with the fact that he can't get in anywhere else and he totally isn't in the middle of a ban for acting like a psycho.....even better that when asked he immediately contradicts himself going from 'been staying at homeless shelter' to 'currently splitting my time between a motel 6 and couch surfing' like 'she' wouldn't notice this contradiction. Its also interesting how fixated his brain is on certain topics - as even here he brings up his frequent lie that he has lost quite a bit of weight, when, aside from being a flat out lie, isn't even relevant to the discussion. I suspect its his first attempt at testing the water to see if he should try hitting on her

and he really seems to be trying to push being free to cook for these imaginary women. That immediately reminded me of how that one woman who was his roommate years ago did that ama about him or whatever and mentioned how he kept trying to cook for them and they made a point of refusing to eat anything he made after that 'joke' he made about jizzing in the food. Him bringing up that desire again makes me think he really was doing something to the food. Why else would he be so pushy about it

The best way to end that discussion would be to ask his full name 'for lease purposes' then when he gives it wait a day and get back to him saying the other girls don't want anything to do with him because they did a background check on that name for safety purposes and it shows he has a DV record, history of arrests and psych ward trips and harassing women with pseudoscience about his sperm - 'sorry lucas, the other girls don't want a creepy pedo in the loft or making food for them' lucas would be fucking livid, and I bet would never want to give his name out to potential renters again, which would fuck up any attempt to get any kind of housing
 
I almost spit my coffee out when lucas said 'sounds like something good in the cards for me'

He really is obsessed with that phrase

Its also interesting he insists on repeating his lie that hes currently a student. If this had been a real offer for him the landlord would likely start getting concerned when it became clear he wasn't a student and start wondering what else he was lying about, possibly giving him the boot for that alone

I bet lucas loves the idea of being in a loft above some women like that, he'd constantly try to perch himself half hidden over the railing or whatever and watch them hunched over like a gargoyle. Its also hilarious how he claims hes quiet (lol sure, in between screaming at his phone at 3am), can cook (the pics speak for themselves) and hes 'polite' which he is anything but

I also like how he claims he is staying in the shelter to save money. It totally has nothing to do with the fact that he can't get in anywhere else and he totally isn't in the middle of a ban for acting like a psycho.....even better that when asked he immediately contradicts himself going from 'been staying at homeless shelter' to 'currently splitting my time between a motel 6 and couch surfing' like 'she' wouldn't notice this contradiction. Its also interesting how fixated his brain is on certain topics - as even here he brings up his frequent lie that he has lost quite a bit of weight, when, aside from being a flat out lie, isn't even relevant to the discussion. I suspect its his first attempt at testing the water to see if he should try hitting on her

and he really seems to be trying to push being free to cook for these imaginary women. That immediately reminded me of how that one woman who was his roommate years ago did that ama about him or whatever and mentioned how he kept trying to cook for them and they made a point of refusing to eat anything he made after that 'joke' he made about jizzing in the food. Him bringing up that desire again makes me think he really was doing something to the food. Why else would he be so pushy about it

The best way to end that discussion would be to ask his full name 'for lease purposes' then when he gives it wait a day and get back to him saying the other girls don't want anything to do with him because they did a background check on that name for safety purposes and it shows he has a DV record, history of arrests and psych ward trips and harassing women with pseudoscience about his sperm - 'sorry lucas, the other girls don't want a creepy pedo in the loft or making food for them' lucas would be fucking livid, and I bet would never want to give his name out to potential renters again, which would fuck up any attempt to get any kind of housing
I like this idea, might implement it over the next couple days and will report back!
 
You know, sometimes I really wonder what Lucas would be like if not for Suzanne. I truly feel like the fact that he had a girlfriend, who approached him, and he stayed with her and lived with her for OVER A YEAR, very much contributes to how batshit insane he is now and how he absolutely cannot comprehend the fact that he is not good enough for ANYONE, let alone his dream, perfect, hot, young woman.

I don’t think that never meeting Suzanne would have made him fixable in any way, but I feel like if not for her he might be slightly more resigned to the fact that he will never, ever be loved by a woman or have a romantic relationship again.
 
You know, sometimes I really wonder what Lucas would be like if not for Suzanne. I truly feel like the fact that he had a girlfriend, who approached him, and he stayed with her and lived with her for OVER A YEAR, very much contributes to how batshit insane he is now and how he absolutely cannot comprehend the fact that he is not good enough for ANYONE, let alone his dream, perfect, hot, young woman.

I don’t think that never meeting Suzanne would have made him fixable in any way, but I feel like if not for her he might be slightly more resigned to the fact that he will never, ever be loved by a woman or have a romantic relationship again.
His relationship with Suzanne may have malformed his expectations, as may have his relationship with his mommy.

I can imagine that while in Spokane Jail, he reflected on his experience with his one and only girl friend, and decided "I had a place to stay, poon, and someone to take care of me and give me shit like my mommy. It was kinda great. Even if she was old and fat and infertile. Let's do that again, only this time my new girl will be very young and hot and fertile because I'm plenty good and better than I was when Suzanne threw herself at me."

This may assume too much thinking on Lucas's part, but it's interesting that he wants to more or less duplicate the role he had in his relationship with Suzanne (dependent house beast) but improve upon it by getting a younger, more malleable partner to control and show off.
 
Well, if he thinks something good is in the cards for him, I ought to ask the cards to see what they have to say.

To nobody's surprise (except maybe Lucas'), it's not in the cards.

If you don't want to wander over to my IG to see:

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"Well, as usual, Lucas does think true soulmate level love is coming his way but, as usual he'll fuck it up (Ace of Pentacles reversed) and will either just get catfished again or will essentially be lured by someone who's doing it for laughs or to rob him blind and kick his ass back out on the street.

Undeterred, Lucas (who thinks he'll be an amazing catch, father, and husband; King of Cups) will continue on and sort of...continue repeating the cycle.

Seven of Swords reversed indicates more catfishing or more people pretending to care about him in order to get free shit, money, or just fuck with him for laughs.

Reversed Nine of Pentacles is essentially the same thing as the reversed Seven of Swords and the Ace of Pentacles reversed; he's just going to get fucked over again and again and again because he's a delusional idiot who doesn't learn from past mistakes, and the cards just loop and loop and loop with the Page of Wands restarting the circle that started with The Lovers card.

He'll never find a stable or real relationship because he lacks the capability to learn from past patterns and anything he thinks he's learned will go right out the window the instant he thinks he might get laid."
 
Quiet, can cook, and polite.

Does he know he's full of shit or does he really think these things about himself?

Edit: anyway, tell him the girls don't want to live with a 40 year old man. I'm sure he will politely wish them well on their roommate search. Hah.
 
I noticed it seems like since Lucas got out of the funny farm he's been preoccupied with other things than sperging in depth about healthier DNA bullshit but as always he's come full circle and now regurgitating the same crap over and over again today. I mean hey. Not one single, woman, not one, has ever been remotely interested in this garbage pseudo science but maybe this time right? Man's out here trying to attract elk with a wolf call.
 
Well, if he thinks something good is in the cards for him, I ought to ask the cards to see what they have to say.

To nobody's surprise (except maybe Lucas'), it's not in the cards.

If you don't want to wander over to my IG to see:

View attachment 1754711

"Well, as usual, Lucas does think true soulmate level love is coming his way but, as usual he'll fuck it up (Ace of Pentacles reversed) and will either just get catfished again or will essentially be lured by someone who's doing it for laughs or to rob him blind and kick his ass back out on the street.

Undeterred, Lucas (who thinks he'll be an amazing catch, father, and husband; King of Cups) will continue on and sort of...continue repeating the cycle.

Seven of Swords reversed indicates more catfishing or more people pretending to care about him in order to get free shit, money, or just fuck with him for laughs.

Reversed Nine of Pentacles is essentially the same thing as the reversed Seven of Swords and the Ace of Pentacles reversed; he's just going to get fucked over again and again and again because he's a delusional idiot who doesn't learn from past mistakes, and the cards just loop and loop and loop with the Page of Wands restarting the circle that started with The Lovers card.

He'll never find a stable or real relationship because he lacks the capability to learn from past patterns and anything he thinks he's learned will go right out the window the instant he thinks he might get laid."
I enjoyed the card reading and would be interested in future ones, though I suspect the message wouldn't change: Lucas will remain single and continue to humiliate himself looking for a relationship. Its a shame that he relies on telomerase pseduoscience to secure his queefy bae, as opposed to astrology or some other nonsense.

In Gargantua and Pantagruel, a largely incomprehensible 16th century satire now primarily remembered for all the fart and dick jokes, there is a character, named Panurge, who repeated consults oracles for advice on his romantic affairs. You see, he wants to be married, but is terrified that his future wife will make a cuckold of him, just as he has happily cuckolded so many husbands. So he travels the world, asking fortune teller after fortune teller, if he will end up a cuckold if he marries. The answer is always the same, but changes: Yes. Yes you will be a cuckold. But every oracle has additional gross details to share with him. It goes from "Yes you will be a cuckold" to a "On this date, in 3 years, your wife will enjoy being balled by seven shepherds consecutively, then all at once, and each one has a larger dick than you." Yet Panurge continues looking for oracles to consult, presumably hoping that eventually one will tell him what he wants to hear.

I wish this dynamic upon Lucas. He's already living it, but not explicitly enough for my amusement. He keeps asking "Where's my queefy bae?" and the reply from the uncaring universe is always "You're not getting a queefy bae." If only he'd spend some of his tardbux on palm reader.
 
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