Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

Im sorry to double post but this whole event just has my mind running.

What are the chances that this is an attempt by Lucas' family to wrangle him up and get him into some sort of program, house, facility, nut hut etc?

While its the kind of plan i'd expect out of people like lucas's family, they don't give enough of a shit at this point so long as he doesn't start shit that affects them directly I suspect. Aside from that, its probably very illegal to go about such a trap this way. I mean they would be essentially luring a disabled adult across state lines under false pretenses to force him into a psych ward. If there was a reason to have him forcibly committed it makes more sense to do it in the state he is already in and that already has all his medical info and doctors and such. They'd have to be up to something shady as fuck to be doing it that way. If anything such a plan would likely violate the civil rights act in a few ways

So ... Do we take bets on how long he lasts in LA? He's a dead man if he goes on one of his n word rants downtown.

Come on now, he'll be just fine wandering around brentwood screaming about how everyone is a bigot for not giving him a 16 year old girl to fuck and how not fucking him him is the same as interracial relationships in the 50s and its totally calling him a nigger to say hes a creep

Like an autistic version of Frogger.

Finally a game reboot worth playing

The most hilarious ending to this saga would be lucas being creepy with a teen claiming shes totally legal and it ends up landing him in san quentin

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

I'm actually sad he's leaving Spokane, I made pals there and I liked the area.

Also, here's him at the airport:
View attachment 1803209
Taken by a local gen z who couldn't wait for him to leave.

I doubt I'll be able to make many LA Wernologist friends so enjoy this last contribution of mine.

“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.”​

 

[BIG CATS]

Come on now, he'll be just fine wandering around brentwood screaming about how everyone is a bigot for not giving him a 16 year old girl to fuck and how not fucking him him is the same as interracial relationships in the 50s and its totally calling him a nigger to say hes a creep

Brentwood would be comedy gold.
The idea of Lucas screeching in front of $20M houses is a Christmas blessing

 

[Rescuetoast]

Maybe he bought the ticket himself because he was sick of being cold and sick of “right wingers” or something and is trying to impress people with stories of some fake girl who bought him a plane ticket. Long shot, but possible.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Looks like Christmas came a little early for Wernologists. This going to be an epic chapter or a total dud. Either way, it’s something different than Spokane and bouncing from shelter to shelter.

Godspeed Lucas. Spread the evangel of telomeres in So Cal to the uninitiated as you would your magic seed.

 

[Rogowski]

The main issue lucas is going to run into is the sheer number of homeless in LA. Skid Row, the legendary homeless district in LA has a population somewhere in the 8-10K range, and that’s not all the homeless people in the city either only the highest concentration. He will be in line to all state benefits behind all of these people. Second, if he lives in Skid Row there will be a hierarchy similar to jail where there are different crews who stick together and watch out for each other just like prison gangs. These people run everything in Skid Row from illegal shit like drug dealing and prostitution down to things that are textbook exploitation of vulnerable people like when the city installed free public toilets to keep people from shitting in the streets the gang members swooped in and took control of them, charging up to ten dollars to use the facilities.

Now sit here and imagine Lucas blowing his last fifty bucks at an upscale restaurant in downtown LA before waddling home to Skid Row when the urge to shit kicks in. Lucas speeds the last few blocks home to make it to the restroom only to find Generic Cholo #43 who informs Lucas that due to not being a down-ass foo from the block he’s going to cough up five dollars to take a shit.

Is it really that hard to imagine that these are the immediate events that led to his death?

 

[Wernology]

In case you want to watch the live countdown to arrival: https://flightaware.com/live/flight/UAL406

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Who would have thought 2020 would end with a cow migration? Russell Greer moves to Vegas, Lucas moves to LA, the Gunt spreads covid across the country, and wasn't Tommy Tooter talking about going to Oklahoma or somewhere a while back?

 

[Telomere Savalas]

Honestly, the Wern had started to get stale in recent episodes but I’m feeling excited about this new season.

Maybe this is the season where the writers just throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.

The addition of Ted McGinley as his new tard wrangler should be interesting.

 

[WonderWino]

Maybe he bought the ticket himself because he was sick of being cold and sick of “right wingers” or something and is trying to impress people with stories of some fake girl who bought him a plane ticket. Long shot, but possible.

Lucas isn't smart enough to do something like that. He also wouldn't add the 'itsnotinthecards' stuff to the boarding info if it was him. He would just buy the ticket and leave. Boasting about some woman there waiting for him would inevitably backfire when he got there and people saw there wasn't. He would essentially be literally trolling himself

Just think how many more converts to wernology there will be once word of his antics start getting around

Now sit here and imagine Lucas blowing his last fifty bucks at an upscale restaurant in downtown LA before waddling home to Skid Row when the urge to shit kicks in. Lucas speeds the last few blocks home to make it to the restroom only to find Generic Cholo #43 who informs Lucas that due to not being a down-ass foo from the block he’s going to cough up five dollars to take a shit.

Is it really that hard to imagine that these are the immediate events that led to his death?

First he mouths off to the gangbanger like he does in spokane, calling him a bigot republican and when the guy gets pissed off and goes to do something to him lucas will inevitably threaten to call the cops, as he also always threatens to do.

Oh yeah. That will totally end well for him. Lucas does not understand people. Not how to read them, not how to deal with them, now how to understand he just walked into a dangerous as fuck situation. I can absolutely see something like this going down. He would be scared shitless, in more ways than one. I can just see him shitting his pants, taking a beat down and then waddling back to skid row reeking of shit and with his pants leaving a trail behind him as he walked. He'd be wishing he never got on that plane and was back to freezing his ass off in an alley in spokane

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

In case you want to watch the live countdown to arrival: https://flightaware.com/live/flight/UAL406

In 36 minutes this guy is going to land in one of the most expensive cities in the country, with only the clothes on his back and an EBT card that may or may not work.

He's miles from any kind of shelter (not that he'd know how to find it) and he has no money because he blew it all at Isaac's. He knows no one, has nothing and will be completely lost in a town that can be very dangerous depending on where you are.

I question the ethics of putting this guy on a plane and flying him hundreds of miles to a dangerous town that he's completely ill equipped to navigate. That being said, I fully expect an epic fucking meltdown over the next few days as the gravity of his mistake starts to sink in.

 

[sharshorita]

A few weeks ago, I started sending videos of Lucas to a friend, his own videos, klickklat collections and fatal walter. He's getting into it, but as we all know, Lucas lore is long as hell, is there a video that gives a basic primer about Lucas?

I would also humbly suggest my two 5 minute compilation videos. They don't talk about the telomerase stuff because it's boring, but I think I did a good job showing his hypocrisy and ridiculousness. I spent a long time on them, dug through so much footage and did a lot of editing, there's no commentary, it's just Lucas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UkelGXEAtI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgYWrHRy8PY

 

[Rescuetoast]

Lucas isn't smart enough to do something like that. He also wouldn't add the 'itsnotinthecards' stuff to the boarding info if it was him. He would just buy the ticket and leave. Boasting about some woman there waiting for him would inevitably backfire when he got there and people saw there wasn't. He would essentially be literally trolling himself

Just think how many more converts to wernology there will be once word of his antics start getting around



First he mouths off to the gangbanger like he does in spokane, calling him a bigot republican and when the guy gets pissed off and goes to do something to him lucas will inevitably threaten to call the cops, as he also always threatens to do.

Oh yeah. That will totally end well for him. Lucas does not understand people. Not how to read them, not how to deal with them, now how to understand he just walked into a dangerous as fuck situation. I can absolutely see something like this going down. He would be scared shitless, in more ways than one. I can just see him shitting his pants, taking a beat down and then waddling back to skid row reeking of shit and with his pants leaving a trail behind him as he walked. He'd be wishing he never got on that plane and was back to freezing his ass off in an alley in spokane

It wouldn’t be the first time that he’s made up a fake girl, to be completely fair. He lies about women he went on dates with and shit all the time. The fact that everyone knows he’s lying doesn’t seem to bother him. Like I said, long shot. as far as the boarding info goes, he did post it himself, anyone can check you in for a flight and add things.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Is it really that hard to imagine that these are the immediate events that led to his death?

Possibly, but that Rocky Mountain winter was probably a higher chance of death.
This is a higher chance of "Lucas beat & mugged compilation #23" incidents, and maybe a situation where Lucas gets to live out his anal torture fantasies only he's the zoomer bae and some cholo with many tattoos will play the role of Lucas

It wouldn’t be the first time that he’s made up a fake girl, to be completely fair. He lies about women he went on dates with and shit all the time. The fact that everyone knows he’s lying doesn’t seem to bother him. Like I said, long shot. as far as the boarding info goes, he did post it himself, anyone can check you in for a flight and add things.

I feel like if Lucas were making her up then he would have bragged about her more.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

I'm worried that spending as much time among flight crew will give him a new fixation in regard to career plans. What if he decides he's going to become an airline pilot? And before people scoff, it is not unprecedented for regional pilots, particularly first officers in their first five years on-property, to live in vans down by the river if they get assigned to an LAX crew base.

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

I'm worried that spending as much time among flight crew will give him a new fixation in regard to career plans. What if he decides he's going to become an airline pilot? And before people scoff, it is not unprecedented for regional pilots, particularly first officers in their first five years on-property, to live in vans down by the river if they get assigned to an LAX base.

Don't worry, it takes money to become a pilot.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

I'm worried that spending as much time among flight crew will give him a new fixation in regard to career plans. What if he decides he's going to become an airline pilot? And before people scoff, it is not unprecedented for regional pilots, particularly first officers in their first five years on-property, to live in vans down by the river if they get assigned to an LAX crew base.

He can't drive a car.... nobody is going to give him an airplane.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Don't worry, it takes money to become a pilot.

"DAMN RICH GREEDY PILOTS WITH THEIR HAREMS OF ZOOMER FLIGHT ATTENDANT BAES!"

 

[Rogowski]

First he mouths off to the gangbanger like he does in spokane, calling him a bigot republican and when the guy gets pissed off and goes to do something to him lucas will inevitably threaten to call the cops, as he also always threatens to do.

That’s another thing I hadn’t even considered yet, I would imagine that if you were a brand new citizen to Skid Row you would already have a target on your back but then if you willingly tried (truth is the wouldn’t show up for hours, if at all) to bring the police into their neighborhood where people openly do drugs and the woman work the corners - sometimes literally - he would get the shit kicked out of him enough to put him in a wheelchair.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

That’s another thing I hadn’t even considered yet, I would imagine that if you were a brand new citizen to Skid Row you would already have a target on your back but then if you willingly tried (truth is the wouldn’t show up for hours, if at all) to bring the police into their neighborhood where people openly do drugs and the woman work the corners - sometimes literally - he would get the shit kicked out of him enough to put him in a wheelchair.

He's going to have to make it to LA to even get to Skid Row. He's a 3.5hr bus ride from Los Angeles. It's going to take him awhile to get there and he doesn't know where to go. What's he going to do, punch in "Rodeo Drive" on his google maps and start there?

My bet is he'sgoing to wander around Orange County for the short term at least.