Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

LilBismyfriend said:
There's so many people rooting for Lucas you guys.. we're finished :(

View attachment 1813439
Click to expand...

I mean hasn't that been the problem for lucas's insane mind the entire time? everyone around him rooting except for him? Those greedy bigots!

...and for those who don't get the joke, rooting is aussie slang for fucking, which is funny cause an aussie woman once asked me what that word meant, acting confused and creeped out when a friend of hers from the US said they were rooting for a guy who was in the hospital. She thought it meant they were in the next room having some kind of orgy to celebrate him being in the hospital

So yes lucas, all the zoomer baes are indeed rooting for you. Rooting to celebrate your inceldom and banishment to the icy streets of spokane tomorrow
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: Picklechu, mero, Scribbler and 11 others
Da Dude123 said:
God, I hope he is back on the streets tomorrow and no one pays for another nights stay at the Motel 6. His newest video is super arrogant. Fucking cow! He can stay at the bus station. Such an exceptional use of money to buy the shit bum food and shelter.
Click to expand...
Good god! What the fuck did I stumble into? This guy is a fucking trip. Who in the fuck would "hire" him as an "insult comic"? He gives me the creeps and I have a pretty strong fucking stomach.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Club Sandwich, Sevan Vosgi, SpiceyHuman and 5 others
You know what's in the bag?

I DO!

It's a bag of raw catfish fillets.

I was kind of hoping for a whole raw catfish but the store was sadly sold out of that.

The only thing I wish I knew was when this alleged "24 year old lady" was supposed to show up because it would've been even funnier to time it because there is no goddamned way that also isn't a catfish. The delivery person knew who the fuck Lucas Werner was too and couldn't stop laughing about it over texts with me.

But, please, Lucas, tell us more about all the people rooting for you.

Spent more on the tip for the delivery person than on the catfish itself, and it's not even catfish he can eat unless he's really gonna eat raw, unbreaded catfish and pretend its sushi...which I would not put past him, somehow.
1609119441611.png

Suppose I also ought to thank Lucas for saying "It's not in the cards for you" so clearly in one of his recent dingy motel videos; now I have a better sound clip of it for my intros.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Winner
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Smellee Cat, chroma, boner_alert and 37 others
klickitat said:
You know what's in the bag?

I DO!

It's a bag of raw catfish fillets.

I was kind of hoping for a whole raw catfish but the store was sadly sold out of that.

The only thing I wish I knew was when this alleged "24 year old lady" was supposed to show up because it would've been even funnier to time it because there is no goddamned way that also isn't a catfish. The delivery person knew who the fuck Lucas Werner was too and couldn't stop laughing about it over texts with me.

But, please, Lucas, tell us more about all the people rooting for you.

Spent more on the tip for the delivery person than on the catfish itself, and it's not even catfish he can eat unless he's really gonna eat raw, unbreaded catfish and pretend its sushi...which I would not put past him, somehow.


Suppose I also ought to thank Lucas for saying "It's not in the cards for you" so clearly in one of his recent dingy motel videos; now I have a better sound clip of it for my intros.
Click to expand...
This is the only acceptable way to send him food.
Nicely done; was there a note with it?
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: burntgrilledcheese, teleméres69, Patchwork Ragdoll and 11 others
True Lucas, you are a manchild to be more accurate
Fatal Walter said:
Did anyone post this? This is great.
View attachment 1812311
Click to expand...

Being an incel creep and leaving notes on the doors of other people in the flop house threatening to call the cops on them for drugs if they didn't provide him a teen gf. At best Lucas is a menace to his neighbours
Marshal Mannerheim said:
I don't know what he was kicked out for but knowing him, that seems about right.
Click to expand...

I agree. Let's sit down and talk at the police station about how you tried travelling to LA to meet up with a minor to molest in a hotel room
Free the Pedos said:
My favorite line from the Mia’s dad phone call was, “[if Mia really is a child, then] we all need to sit down and talk about this like adults!”
Click to expand...

Pretty sure any teen celebrities he's jerked off to say least once
Marshal Mannerheim said:
Did he really rub one out over Greta Thunberg?

How dare he.
Click to expand...

I mean, he admitted to not showering for weeks. Lord knows how filthy that micro penis is. The idea anyone would let him touch them with it given the multiple fungus/bacteria it's probably carrying is pretty repulsive, catfish or not
boner_alert said:
So I found the link


@mothman96 @Club Sandwich @GleamingTheQ-Bert @Particle Bored

.. so were you guys not going to tell us that his USERNAME WAS

YOURWORSTNIGHTMARE
666

LOLL!!!!!! I'm dying! That couldn't have been a more Lucas name. I thought he would've just went with LucasWerner79. I'm guessing he went with that name because he was trying to infiltrate as a non involved 3rd party who has no investment or bias towards Lucas whatsoever, but is here to pound you all with the cold hard facts. He just found out about the edgy new buzz words "straw man" and "logical fallacy"

And literally the next replies to this: Hi Lucas, off your meds? Wash your penis

Y'all kill me
Click to expand...

He just looks like a bargain bin junkie version of Goldaor. It was funny when someone trolled Lucas for clout the first time. Copying for clout isn't. Especially when you look like a shady creep yourself
ThomasAudley said:
This appears to be his Clinkerdager benefactor:




His interview indicates he went to Ball State, and the pic is at the Maumee River in Indiana. This guy has more artistic talent than Nicolas but his phenotype gives off major fuckup vibes to me.

ETA: https://public.courts.in.gov/mycase...iaDZKaFAwMmw5eGxlTW5TN2h4b1BURllneldzaE0xIn19

He caught an arrest in Indiana back in 2007 and nothing since then it appears. The address listed in that link is owned by his parents in Toledo, OH, so it was likely a youthful indiscretion and anyway it was dismissed. I'm not gonna put more than 10 mins into these sideshow freaks, but I think there's something suspicious about anyone enabling Lucas.
Click to expand...

Would anyone even feel sorry for him if this happened at this point? I kinda wish something like that would happen, if nothing else so it teaches him a lesson about self preservation. I mean he's really lucky there's no pedo hating vigilantes in Spokane since he publicly posts where he is at every other hour, and the multiple times he's been caught saying pedo shit
WonderWino said:
oh yeah, this will totally end well. I'm sure a 24 year old is going to totally show up at your shitty rat infested hotel room bringing food and wanting to fuck you lucas. Especially after trying to get you to come to her

This is how people get robbed and/or killed by random psychos on the internet. The lack of self preservation instincts in lucas is astounding. If anyone shows up at all it'll to do something to him. Lucas would be fortunate to get a beating and be found tied up in the bathroom in the morning after being robbed

But no, lucas is stupid enough to believe that an attractive 24 year old is going to show up at a reeking, hobos motel room, bringing food and wanting to fuck him, and totally doesn't have ulterior motives and isn't planning to drug said food and rob or kill him

Its also not surprising how he immediately assumed sex would be involved

Lucas better watch out, or sooner or later this will be him

Click to expand...

How much do people want to bet he bothered to shower before expecting this one night stand?
NattyDaddy said:
Let's just pretend for a second that it's not a catfish, who the fuck eats two whole meat burritos before having sex. Imagine the fucking smell,
home boy would probably shit the bed before he could get his pants off.
Click to expand...

You in on the catfishing? That's fucking hilarious either way. Should have left the note saying it's not in the cards inside tho. How famous would you say Lucas actually is offline there? Outside the places he's been banned from
klickitat said:
You know what's in the bag?

I DO!

It's a bag of raw catfish fillets.

I was kind of hoping for a whole raw catfish but the store was sadly sold out of that.

The only thing I wish I knew was when this alleged "24 year old lady" was supposed to show up because it would've been even funnier to time it because there is no goddamned way that also isn't a catfish. The delivery person knew who the fuck Lucas Werner was too and couldn't stop laughing about it over texts with me.

But, please, Lucas, tell us more about all the people rooting for you.

Spent more on the tip for the delivery person than on the catfish itself, and it's not even catfish he can eat unless he's really gonna eat raw, unbreaded catfish and pretend its sushi...which I would not put past him, somehow.


Suppose I also ought to thank Lucas for saying "It's not in the cards for you" so clearly in one of his recent dingy motel videos; now I have a better sound clip of it for my intros.
Click to expand...
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: boner_alert, Club Sandwich, Marshal Mannerheim and 6 others
klickitat said:
You know what's in the bag?

I DO!

It's a bag of raw catfish fillets.

I was kind of hoping for a whole raw catfish but the store was sadly sold out of that.

The only thing I wish I knew was when this alleged "24 year old lady" was supposed to show up because it would've been even funnier to time it because there is no goddamned way that also isn't a catfish. The delivery person knew who the fuck Lucas Werner was too and couldn't stop laughing about it over texts with me.

But, please, Lucas, tell us more about all the people rooting for you.

Spent more on the tip for the delivery person than on the catfish itself, and it's not even catfish he can eat unless he's really gonna eat raw, unbreaded catfish and pretend its sushi...which I would not put past him, somehow.


Suppose I also ought to thank Lucas for saying "It's not in the cards for you" so clearly in one of his recent dingy motel videos; now I have a better sound clip of it for my intros.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he actually eats the raw catfish, using that very 'well sushi is raw fish' logic

Its all the more amusing considering catfish can sting the fuck out of you if you pick them up the wrong way, which I can see lucas doing. They can also carry all kinds of parasites if eaten raw. The lucas food poisoning/tapworm saga would be quite amusing

and I can just imagine lucas sitting on his filthy bed, eating a raw catfish, eating into it like a caveman and wiping his hands on the bed, making it reek of rotting fish before long.....which is somewhat ironic considering how often hookers probably use that room. and after a night in his catfish encrusted bed he'll be on the streets smelling like catfish and BO
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Picklechu, burntgrilledcheese, Patchwork Ragdoll and 12 others
Iseecovidpeople said:
@klickitat
You on TGR private cast or you want a recording?
Click to expand...

I'm not but, since I'm not a patron that makes sense. If they want to shoot me a recording, sure, if not, well, I can always subscribe to their patreon if I want it.

teleméres69 said:
You in on the catfishing? That's fucking hilarious either way. Should have left the note saying it's not in the cards inside tho. How famous would you say Lucas actually is offline there? Outside the places he's been banned from
Click to expand...

Alas, I'm not. If I were, I'd have timed that delivery to arrive right when the "24 year old lady" was supposed to show up. Wasn't hard to find his hotel room though, the front desk gave that up easily enough; social engineering is an amazing thing.

LightEmittingDiode said:
This is the only acceptable way to send him food.
Nicely done; was there a note with it?
Click to expand...

Nah, I mean, it was a bag of frozen catfish fillets that had the word catfish on it.

...might have also thrown in a $4 dish towel that had a "cat fish" on it (cat on top, fish tail, haha puns and all).

He he couldn't figure it out from those two obvious things, he doesn't deserve to get the joke.

Oh also, my new intro.




Look on the bright side, Lucas, you got catfished, but you also got some catfish!

Why does he think people use their actual phone numbers to catfish him though? If anyone did, they'd deserve anything they got, including Lucas having their actual phone number.
1609123404987.png
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Like
  • Winner
Reactions: Picklechu, burntgrilledcheese, PissPool and 15 others
klickitat said:
I'm not but, since I'm not a patron that makes sense. If they want to shoot me a recording, sure, if not, well, I can always subscribe to their patreon if I want it.



Alas, I'm not. If I were, I'd have timed that delivery to arrive right when the "24 year old lady" was supposed to show up. Wasn't hard to find his hotel room though, the front desk gave that up easily enough; social engineering is an amazing thing.



Nah, I mean, it was a bag of frozen catfish fillets that had the word catfish on it.

...might have also thrown in a $4 dish towel that had a "cat fish" on it (cat on top, fish tail, haha puns and all).

He he couldn't figure it out from those two obvious things, he doesn't deserve to get the joke.

Oh also, my new intro.

View attachment 1813680
Click to expand...
I'm recording, if it turns out ok I'll shot it to you when it's over.

You paid for Luca's Patron, I'll get you on this one LOL
 
  • Like
Reactions: PrincessKidana
  • Like
Reactions: teleméres69, Telomerase1979, PrincessKidana and 2 others
one_time_user said:
he'll probably cook it on the coffee maker heating element (I am assuming there is a coffee pot)
Click to expand...

Oh please, he's not smart enough to figure out how to operate the thing. He'd probably just burn his hand and shatter the pot.

mothman96 said:
Did the delivery person knock on his door to let the Freak know their i a package for him?
Click to expand...

I didn't want to risk them actually coming face to face with the stench bomb that room is likely to be by now (or with The Wern himself), so I told them to be very quiet in dropping it off and NOT knock.

But, just to make sure he peeks (though he'll have to when his ice cream gets delivered, I guess):
1609124619531.png
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: Picklechu, Patchwork Ragdoll, AbraCadaver and 16 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back