Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

Gaear Grimsrud said:
As boring as I find his board game nonsense, the Meeple Toss trap was a highlight of Lucas.


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This is still one of my favorite plans of his.

If those two women even noticed the freak in the batman PJs and rose covered shirt sitting in front of a cheap looking board game, they were probably either texting back and forth making fun of him, desperately avoiding eye contact and hoping he wouldn't come over to talk to them, or both.

Just imagine sitting over there seeing tubby and his board game staring at you and your friend while breathing heavily.
 
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WhiskerBiscuit said:
I think Lucas meeting Bill Maher would go as well as Brian Griffin meeting Bill Maher.
The fact that Maher is a hero to both is just hilarious. I never before saw the similarities. But they are there.
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The edgy atheism thing has become so passé we get it you read Richard Dawkins or at least claim to have. I don’t think Lucas has even heard of the God Delusion. Boomer Maher is probably not someone Lucas has watched recently either and yet he defers to him as one of his pillars of wisdom along with the disciple of Bernie Sanders AOC not realizing their politics don’t really align. Maher is an old fogie going on about kids these days with their pc bullshit, (why don’t you date me? -LCW)
 
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Damn, he is pressed about being laughed at for using words wrong.

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Stafford Beer Bong said:
If I remember Lucas once claimed he had created a game more complex than chess and go. As if more complex equals better. You see Lucas is so intelligent he created a game more complex than chess!

Much like his idea that writing a thesis on age gap love longer than the longest thesis ever written means he is smarter than anyone to ever write a thesis.

Lucas biggest insecurity is that he is just not that intelligent and it eats at him because his “superior intelligence“ should overcome his lack of money or material goods and land him a zoomer bae.
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I wonder how far in to his 4,000 page PhD worthy paper he's got done.
 
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Gaear Grimsrud said:
The whole board game obsession rings kinda phony to me too.

It's like he convinced himself that he's really interested in board games because he got it into his head that it's a smart persons hobby, and he desperately tries to seem smart and cultured because he thinks that's the key to a zoomer bae.
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If I remember Lucas once claimed he had created a game more complex than chess and go. As if more complex equals better. You see Lucas is so intelligent he created a game more complex than chess!

Much like his idea that writing a thesis on age gap love longer than the longest thesis ever written means he is smarter than anyone to ever write a thesis.

Lucas biggest insecurity is that he is just not that intelligent and it eats at him because his “superior intelligence“ should overcome his lack of money or material goods and land him a zoomer bae.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Cafeteria Uprising has a tome of instructions and Lucas made videos on it which do not help at all.
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The concept of a food fight board game honestly isn't that bad. But considering that it is an incomprehensible mess of rules and, well, created by Lucas, I can't really defend it otherwise.

Maxxicus Callahan said:
The edgy atheism thing has become so passé we get it you read Richard Dawkins or at least claim to have. I don’t think Lucas has even heard of the God Delusion. Boomer Maher is probably not someone Lucas has watched recently either and yet he defers to him as one of his pillars of wisdom along with the disciple of Bernie Sanders AOC not realizing their politics don’t really align. Maher is an old fogie going on about kids these days with their pc bullshit, (why don’t you date me? -LCW)
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Bill Maher is a mean spirited douchebag. He makes a fair point once in a while but he's a self-absorbed man cunt which makes him a perfect idol for the Wern.
Gaear Grimsrud said:
As boring as I find his board game nonsense, the Meeple Toss trap was a highlight of Lucas.


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This picture has some serious Attraction Sign energy going about it.
 
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Gaear Grimsrud said:
As boring as I find his board game nonsense, the Meeple Toss trap was a highlight of Lucas.


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This was an absolute classic. Damn, a black button-down shirt with roses on it, Batman pajama pants trousers, and brown leather loafers, truly the avant garde of bumcel fashion :story:

And his profile pic just fucking completes it, I couldn't leer that hard if I tried. "Watch those hotties", jesus. Go up and ask those hotties if they want to play Meeple Toss you absolute dickless coward.

I also like that he acknowledges it as a "trap". If I were a bae I'd gnaw my own leg off to get away from Lucas.
 
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OT, what are your favorite selfies that Wern has taken?

My absolute favorite would have to be after he rubbed the foot cream on his face, and his face swelled up like a blood-filled basketball, but he still continued to take the same smirking and leering pictures, somehow oblivious to the fact that his face looked like a red potato. Well, more like a red potato than usual, I mean. The contrast between the infected plump flush of his fat cheeks and neck, combined with his omnipresent unearned smugness, is just so delicious.

I think because it illustrates the difference between reality and Lucas's state of mind. He's got a giant infected cranium, but in Lucas world, he's sexy, basically George Clooney, and ready to go! Ready to charm your pants off and bring that giant red basketball between your legs!
 
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Lucas and his board games. Meeple toss sort of made sense. I mean, it was boring and not really that creative, but the idea made sense. And it was playable, although bad.

Some of his other ideas for games are very autistic and he just pulls ideas out of his ass. Like it has been said, if he explained how one of his prototype games was supposed to be played and then was asked a day or two later how the same game was supposed to be played, then he would tell you something completely different. He just comes up with these random ideas that do not go together on the fly.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying board games. It is a fine hobby and for a bit I wanted to give Lucas credit for being interested in something outside of poonaner. He bought these expensive games and never played them. When people brought up trying to find other people to play board games with, such as going to game nights at board game stores, he wasn't interested. He only wants to play with Gen Z baes.

Board games are a niche hobby and I doubt there are tons of 18-24 year old women into them. I am sure there are some. If Lucas thought this was an avenue to meet women, then I do not know where he got that.

And he never gave a detailed answer when asked what became of his board game collection once he was evicted from the fart box. He just said that they were in storage. We all know they got thrown in a dumpster and are in a landfill right now.

If Lucas wasn't such a huge sped, he could have rented a storage shed and kept the games and some extra clothes and supplies in there. This would be doable on his tugboat. But that would make too much sense.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
Faux ultra liberal Lucas is the worst for me. I don't care about politics, and it's such obvious diarrhea spewing from his mouth trying to appeal to a zoomer bae.

At least with board games, Lucas has completed some of them. I won't shit on someone for their hobby and taking it seriously enough, even if the games are impossible to understand and Lucas' mental illness run amok.
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80% of Lucas's political opinions are to appeal to what he thinks Gen-ZEEEE baes believe, the rest is because Lucas legitimately wants Big Daddy Government to give him everything for free.
Poop Chute said:
His board games are terrible and he should feel terrible.
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Yeah but the concepts are funny.
They range from "set up the logistics of an age-gap ball" to "use words to form an attack pattern" to "throw people on the circles".
Da Dude123 said:
Lucas and his board games. Meeple toss sort of made sense. I mean, it was boring and not really that creative, but the idea made sense. And it was playable, although bad.
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Meeple Toss was simplistic but Meepocalypse was nonsensical insanity.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
Lucas and his board games. Meeple toss sort of made sense. I mean, it was boring and not really that creative, but the idea made sense. And it was playable, although bad.

Some of his other ideas for games are very autistic and he just pulls ideas out of his ass. Like it has been said, if he explained how one of his prototype games was supposed to be played and then was asked a day or two later how the same game was supposed to be played, then he would tell you something completely different. He just comes up with these random ideas that do not go together on the fly.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying board games. It is a fine hobby and for a bit I wanted to give Lucas credit for being interested in something outside of poonaner. He bought these expensive games and never played them. When people brought up trying to find other people to play board games with, such as going to game nights at board game stores, he wasn't interested. He only wants to play with Gen Z baes.

Board games are a niche hobby and I doubt there are tons of 18-24 year old women into them. I am sure there are some. If Lucas thought this was an avenue to meet women, then I do not know where he got that.

And he never gave a detailed answer when asked what became of his board game collection once he was evicted from the fart box. He just said that they were in storage. We all know they got thrown in a dumpster and are in a landfill right now.

If Lucas wasn't such a huge sped, he could have rented a storage shed and kept the games and some extra clothes and supplies in there. This would be doable on his tugboat. But that would make too much sense.
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You hit the nail on the head. He sees board games as an avenue for meeting women, but they serve one more purpose: they let Lucas demonstrate how smart he thinks he is. He gets to talk about complex things, and use Big technical specific language. Other than these two, and being an outlet for his schizo "creativity" (read: nonsense) I don't see him having any real interest in them.

When you think about it though, that's everything in his life. If you can't use it to gratify an urge, or use it to boast, use it to associate himself with a group that he's deemed positive, opposite a group he's deemed negative, he has no interest in it.

It's one of the reasons why when goldaor (speaking of goldie, does it bother anyone else how Lucas still calls him "gal-dor" after all this time?) gave him the DS, he barely touched it. Lucas doesn't have any interest in playing games for their own sake, or for fun. If it's not satisfying a lust, or allowing him to brag, he's out.
 
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darkwingosonichugorl said:
View attachment 2488766

Failing to hide his back fat, the awful "sexy" look he often tries doing, and adding the stupid simp text on his fat blobby body. It's just Vintage Lucas.
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What are you talking about? He's bringing sexy back. I wish I were a zoomer bae I would totally go for him if so.
Da Dude123 said:
Lucas and his board games. Meeple toss sort of made sense. I mean, it was boring and not really that creative, but the idea made sense. And it was playable, although bad.

Some of his other ideas for games are very autistic and he just pulls ideas out of his ass. Like it has been said, if he explained how one of his prototype games was supposed to be played and then was asked a day or two later how the same game was supposed to be played, then he would tell you something completely different. He just comes up with these random ideas that do not go together on the fly.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying board games. It is a fine hobby and for a bit I wanted to give Lucas credit for being interested in something outside of poonaner. He bought these expensive games and never played them. When people brought up trying to find other people to play board games with, such as going to game nights at board game stores, he wasn't interested. He only wants to play with Gen Z baes.

Board games are a niche hobby and I doubt there are tons of 18-24 year old women into them. I am sure there are some. If Lucas thought this was an avenue to meet women, then I do not know where he got that.

And he never gave a detailed answer when asked what became of his board game collection once he was evicted from the fart box. He just said that they were in storage. We all know they got thrown in a dumpster and are in a landfill right now.

If Lucas wasn't such a huge sped, he could have rented a storage shed and kept the games and some extra clothes and supplies in there. This would be doable on his tugboat. But that would make too much sense.
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Is the target space for Meeple Toss a dumpster? Because that's probably where the games are now.

I wonder which landfill they're in? We could go looking for the games a la the New Mexican ET graveyard.
 
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Da Dude123 said:
There is nothing wrong with enjoying board games. It is a fine hobby and for a bit I wanted to give Lucas credit for being interested in something outside of poonaner. He bought these expensive games and never played them. When people brought up trying to find other people to play board games with, such as going to game nights at board game stores, he wasn't interested. He only wants to play with Gen Z baes.
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Lucas collected games he doesn't play. Wernologists accuse him of sublimating his poon poon thirst into his games for good reason: Dance of the Telomeres, and the Meeple Toss Puss Puss Trap. Granted, Lucas is not making game mechanics specifically about fitting big meaty fists in buttholes yet, but the erotic Lucas boardgame is on the horizon if he keeps at it. Maybe you'll be one of Lucas's electric swimmers, with the goal to be to get at the Zoomer Egg first. It'll play like Monopoly but with jizz.
darkwingosonichugorl said:
View attachment 2488766

Failing to hide his back fat, the awful "sexy" look he often tries doing, and adding the stupid simp text on his fat blobby body. It's just Vintage Lucas.
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Lovely.

I'll leave it to others to catalogue Lucas's many flaws, and pick apart this cursed pic to forcefully articulate just how unappealing it is (concentrate on his chest, please). I'll focus on the language. Not the body language, which is just too foul to translate into English. Really, he ought to be ashamed.

REAL MEN STAND UP FOR THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN AND GIRLS!

Lucas is laying on his back, exposing his upper body, trying to put on a Zoolander face. Lucas is presenting himself to be appreciated. Look at me, Lucas Colby Werner, a sexual being.

With this "meme" Lucas is asserting that he is a real man (again), and claiming that he...stands up for the rights of women. And also, girls. Girls. Real man. Lucas's assertion is flatly contradicted by the pic itself. And the fem pandering, that's just a cherry on the already perfect combination of image and language, especially in the context of Lucas's rather menacing relationships to girlhood.

A fat, helpless aspiring rapist lays on his back and calls out into the net ether: girls, I'm a real man, girl's, I'm a real man.

ETA: If the fat faggot is going to stream, he is not off to a promising start.
 
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Stafford Beer Bong said:
If I remember Lucas once claimed he had created a game more complex than chess and go. As if more complex equals better. You see Lucas is so intelligent he created a game more complex than chess!
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The best thing about that was it showed how poorly he understands games like Go and chess. They’re so beloved because they are extremely easy to learn but incredibly hard to master. Not understanding that is one of my favorite pieces of proof that he has absolutely no understanding of board gaming.
 
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