A Mother 3 movie where Lucas becomes transgender after his mom died and his dead brother becomes a Mike Pence analog to go with Porky's Trump analog.
Also Fassad and his monkey make up and become lovers.
I wish there was better ideas for bad movies outside cringy grimdark takes on kids games or woke inanity.
The tumblrmake route is just so easy.
Alright, let me try...
A Lufia movie set in 80s highschool where the Sinistrals are a group of drug pushing gangbangers. Lufia (the character) is a former member of said gang who is attacked by them when she changes her mind about robbing her rich parents. They think she is dead but she survived, having wandered off with a severe case of "Hollywood amnesia head injury syndrome". All she can remember is the name Lufia (more on that later). She wanders to another town and is taken in by authorities who place her in a kindly foster home where her foster father shows her his traditional cinnamon tea recipe. At the local highschool she meets generic redhead who we will call Max. He's named after some famous ancestor.
They become close and have lots of cringey, sappy teen movie moments before a fellow Sinistral happens to be in town and spots her. He calls out "Erim" and she grabs her head and screams in pain, Hollywood overdramatic style. She begins to remember the horrible truth. Now her fellow former gang mates all know where she is and are determined to get her back.
They challenge Max and his friends to a gang fight at the school. At midnight. Be there.
During the fight Lufia turns on her friends, remembering her dark side. But also because she remembered Lufia, it was a character in a book one of the Sinistrals gave her. A fairy tale book that belonged to his sister, who was murdered by their abusive father. Erim was the only other person he ever cared about and wanted her to have it.
Cue dramatic "you can't save me" scene where Max is all "give me your hand" as Lufia hangs from the school roof ledge after being pushed by anotther Sinistral who wants her blood for messing up their robbery and betraying them. Both her new and old boyfriends try to save her but she plummets to the ground. Max gives a speech about how they have to help her instead of fight. This speech takes longer than Lufia would have if she were still somehow alive. But it's an overly dramatic teenage gang romance saga. So let us cringe.
Old boyfriend busts the lock on the principal's door and calls an ambulance while Max runs down to see if she is still alive. It's a movie so of course she is. While this is happening the two other Sinistrals gang up on Lufia's love interests. An epic fight scene ensues as the ambulance approaches. It's super dramatic.
The police arrest the two Sinistrals still there. But old boyfriend has disappeared. Max rides with Lufia in the ambulance while his friends are,treated for minor injuries.
Six months later...
Lufia is in a wheelchair and may never walk again. Max is coming to her house to bring her flowers. She is going to be allowed to go back to school. As Max approaches he sees an old and worn children's book on her doorstep. It's titled "Lufia"
The trees rustle in the distance as if someone has fled to their shelter.
The End.
