Make the worst video game movie ever

Grand Theft Auto, but its about a sex worker who has AIDs and the discrimination from customers that she faces, because they won't sleep with her because she has AIDs. Sometimes her Johns in cars find out about it and beat the shit out of her and money pops out of her purse. Eventually she makes an inspiring speech in front of the city council, de-criminalizing sex work and giving people HIV/AIDs intentionally, abolishes AIDs screening for everything. It also focuses on whore empowerment. Also every single man in the film is bad and evil.
 
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Mega Man X, where it's a Resident Evil esque adaptation with the plot and stylings for the shelved game Maverick Hunter. The future is portrayed as gritty and "realistic", X looks like an edgy action figure with his buster with more gun like additions, and he gets a human buddy cop comic relief in the form of John Mclain from Die Hard. X also becomes the villain at the end of the trilogy. Just as Keiji Inafune planned.

Star Gladiator. Oh wait, it's called the Star Wars Sequel trilogy. lol
 
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I was thinking of a way to make a shitty F-Zero movie, but all I could think of was pretty much the later entries to The Fast and the Furious movies.

Have The Rock play Captain Falcon, and have Idris Elba play Black Shadow, except he's just called "Shadow" and instead of Black Shadow's ridiculous outfit, he wears some dull-ass cyperpunk getup. He's also not pure evil, just misunderstood, so we can shoe-horn an anti-racism message in.
 
A live action Persona movie but this is the cast.
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A Final Fantasy 7 movie where Cloud decides to keep the wig and dress because he is trans just like the other degenerates at the Men's Hall. After sneaking aboard the Shinra ship dressed as sailors Barret has an "experience" below deck and now calls himself Marshmallow Bear. Everyone leaves the party in disgust after catching him and Daphne Serene (deadname Cloud Strife) in the bathroom at the Shinra Villa. So they go off together and put Marlene on puberty blockers. Sephiroth comes out as non-binary and decides to become a beauty guru. Shinra becomes woke and forces every employee to take sensitivity training. Red XIII and Cait Sith start doing furry porn.

Average angry cishet white man Cid gets cancelled.
 
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A Boy and His Blob. Give it a structure like See Lola Run to replicate the unique gameplay aspect where you only get 1 life, 1 mistake kills you, and you can only map out the lower levels by falling to your death and restarting the game over and over and over and over. And give it terrible repetitive music and bleak uninteresting visuals, just like the original.
 
FluffyTehFennekin said:
I was thinking how they would cast the students. Since, you know, they’re Japanese. :tomgirl:
God only knows what they’d do to Chihiro
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Adding to that they’d probably cast a bunch of “diverse” actors to play the kids, Junko is Brie Larson in cosplay, and Chihiro would be a transwoman for OBVIOUS reasons.
 
A new Friday the 13th movie based on the game where half the characters including jason dick around in front of a boombox while the other half actually try and be useful (call the police, fix the cars/boat, get the sweater, call Tommy and arm him with a machete)
 
Me and my brother came up with an idea for a Kirby movie where it's just a fat guy in a pink shirt (played by late 90s/early 2000s John Goodman) named "Joe Kirby" who likes to eat a lot getting into an eating contest with some corrupt corporate executive who has the initials DDD, who moves into the town of Green-Green, Alabama to replace all the local restaurants with his own fast food chains. He has a borderline-retarded redneck friend named "Waddle" Dee, who used to waddle when he was a kid. There's a scene in the movie where "Kirby" eats curry and starts spitting out fire, and a scene where he eats sushi and suddenly knows karate; this is the closest part in the movie to accurately portraying Kirby's powers.

I'm basing it off of all those old video game movies that very-loosely adapted the source material, like Super Mario Bros and Street Fighter, because they have a certain charm to them.
 
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SSF2T Old User said:
Honestly if you took out all the characters related to Super Mario Bros. it would just be a generic 90's sci-fi action film/B-Movie. The problem was that the directors behind the movie tried to make it something it wasn't all in the sake of expressing their artistic vision, and Nintendo was desperate enough to ok whatever they had to say, even though everyone else hated it because the directors themselves were mentally retarded children that threw a temper-tantrum if they didn't get their way.
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To quote Bob Hoskins himself from an interview with the Guardian:

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2007/aug/03/2

The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers. It was a fuckin' nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! Fuckin' nightmare. Fuckin' idiots.”
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The couple in question, Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel had gone from commercial direction to directing the original UK pilot for the Max Headroom series, and a so-so remake of the 1950 thriller D.O.A., and after Super Mario Brothers bombed that sort of derailed their careers - which would have included a project for a sequel film to Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner (featuring the son of Number 6 trapped in 'The City' instead of 'The Village'), so maybe that was a bit of a blessing in disguise..
 
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