Make the worst video game movie ever

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Ghost of Tsushima - directed by Uwe Boll

Starring:
Tommy Wiseau as Jin Sakai
Steven Seagal as Khotun Khan
Nicolas Cage as everyone (!) else

 

[Maamtis]

View attachment 1607930

That is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen online and I'm including shock videos/images.

Uwe Boll directs an adaptation of Shining Force

I stand corrected.

Note: If I rate your post lunacy it's because I believe they'd actually fucking do it.

 

[Idiotron]

Metal Gear Solid... written and directed by Hideo Kojima... no budget limitations and full creative control... but it can be 2 hours max.

 

[Officer Eradicate]

Mario Kart, with the cast of the Fast & Furious

 

[Syaoran Li]

CarnEvil as a splatter horror comedy that's also a "jukebox musical" where all the numbers are just pre-existing classic rock and oldies songs and certain elements of the game's "fanon" are now part of the actual plot of the movie.

Directed by Sam Raimi

Tom Holland as Jacob (Player 1)
Olivia Munn as Lisa (Player 2)
Miranda Cosgrove as Betty
Nicolas Cage as Count Ludwig Von Tokentakker
Bai Ling as Evil Marie
Dan Green as the voice of Umlaut
John Goodman as Krampus
Bruce Campbell as the Magician
Kane Hodder as Hambone (with Ryan Reynolds doing the voicework)
Jack Black as Spooky Sam
Malcolm McDowell, Helen Mirren, and Jordan Petersen as the voices of the Skeleteens
Meryl Streep as the voice of the Magic Talking Taco
Johnny Hardwick as Smoking Sammy Salmon, the Singing Manitoba Fish!

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Make a remake of the 1994 Jean Claude van Damme movie Street Fighter, but this time Bison and Colonel Guile are played by Daisey Ridley and Brie Larson and Camie is played by some Hollywood troon.

Cast:
Colonel Guile: Brie Larson
General Bison: Daisey Ridley
Afirmative Action Nigger: John Boyega
Vega: Melissa McCarthy
Balrog: Leslie Jones
Chun-Li: That asian wahman from Star Wars whos name nobody remembers anymore
Ryu: Adam Sandler
Ken: Cate Blanchett


Director: Alex Kurtzman, Jar Jar Abrams or Paul Feig or any other incompetent Hollywood hack of your choice

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Candy Crush, in the vein of The Emoji Movie, where the characters are barely characters at all and it's just two hours of eyebleeding primary colours, punctuated with other pop culture references and Marvel-esque "jokes" that are just setting up a tense situation and then defusing it. Basically they are to comedy what jump-scares are to horror, and there'll be loads of that.

A sequel to Hitman: Agent 47 where the skinny twink miscast as 47 (that shit made me nostalgic for Tim Olyphant) knocks out a woman and dresses in her clothes, decides he likes it and then troons out as a result. The whole thing becomes all about accepting him, basically like JK Rowling's new book but with the murderous crossdresser as the protagonist so the SJWs will like it.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Make a remake of the 1994 Jean Claude van Damme movie Street Fighter, but this time Bison and Colonel Guile are played by Daisey Ridley and Brie Larson and Camie is played by some Hollywood troon.

Cast:
Colonel Guile: Brie Larson
General Bison: Daisey Ridley
Afirmative Action Nigger: John Boyega
Vega: Melissa McCarthy
Balrog: Leslie Jones
Chun-Li: That asian wahman from Star Wars whos name nobody remembers anymore
Ryu: Adam Sandler
Ken: Cate Blanchett


Director: Alex Kurtzman, Jar Jar Abrams or Paul Feig or any other incompetent Hollywood hack of your choice

Cammy - Jodie Comer
Dashlim - Ramy Yousef
Rose - Michelle Pfeiffer...on second thought she'd actually be great so Elizabeth Olsen
Juni/Juli - Sarah Paulson
Karin - Scarlett Johansson
Akuma - Chow Yun Fat
Blanka - Miles Teller

 

[Syaoran Li]

Curious to know what @Dom Cruise thinks of my idea for a CarnEvil movie

 

[Dom Cruise]

Curious to know what @Dom Cruise thinks of my idea for a CarnEvil movie

So long as it still has the "big Bunyan ride" song, it'll be great.

 

[Trombonista]

Candy Crush, in the vein of The Emoji Movie, where the characters are barely characters at all and it's just two hours of eyebleeding primary colours, punctuated with other pop culture references and Marvel-esque "jokes" that are just setting up a tense situation and then defusing it. Basically they are to comedy what jump-scares are to horror, and there'll be loads of that.

Candy Crush already appeared in the Emoji movie.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Candy Crush already appeared in the Emoji movie.

Ah, yeah, so it did. Okay, even worse/better, it's a spin-off from the Emoji Movie.

 

[Jeff Boomhauer]

A Super Mario RPG adaptaion, except Mallow is now trans (just look at his color scheme!), Geno is now non-binary, Geno and Mallow are now a couple, Bowser's "toxic masculinity" makes him the butt of all jokes, Smithy is Drumpf stand-in (MAKE THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM GREAT AGAIN!), Exor is now a stand-in for Trump's wall, Peach is the true hero, the wishes on the Star Road will include anti-racism and pro-LGBTQ stuff, Johnny will be a furry, and all the villains will be defeated with a hamfisted, gun control-esque message because they're all based off of weapons.

Peach will be played by Brie Larson, Geno will be played by Donald Glover, Mallow will be played by some fat troon, Bowser will be played by Seth Rogan, and Mario will be reused footage of Bob Hoskins.

 

[Exceptionally Exceptional]

Super Mario Bros live action movie, only this time it'll be even shittier as we see a live action Mario running around jumping (complete with BOING sound effects) on stunted nigger cock tips with faces and feet, oversized tortoises, and doing other shit from the games that looks absolutely retarded in a movie proving once and for all that Mario really doesn't work on the big screen.

 

[Sun Shihong]

Kiwi Farms: the game.

 

[Trombonista]

A Super Mario RPG adaptaion, except Mallow is now trans (just look at his color scheme!), Geno is now non-binary, Geno and Mallow are now a couple, Bowser's "toxic masculinity" makes him the butt of all jokes, Smithy is Drumpf stand-in (MAKE THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM GREAT AGAIN!), Peach is the true hero, the wishes on the Star Road will include anti-racism and pro-LGBTQ stuff, Johnny will be a furry, and all the villains will be defeated with a hamfisted, gun control-esque message because they're all based off of weapons.

Peach will be played by Brie Larson, Geno will be played by Donald Glover, Mallow will be played by some fat troon, Bowser will be played by Seth Rogan, and Mario will be reused footage of Bob Hoskins.

Funnily enough, one of the Paper Mario games has a transgender character.

 

[round robin]

Banjo-Kazooie; live action with Jonah Hill as a massively cucked male feminist Banjo, Sarah Silverman as an overly bitchy/whiny Kazooie, any fat bitch as Grunty, no Tooty since Grunty is already big and beautiful and therefore doesn't need to kidnap her, no Mumbo or Wumba because they're racist.

Directed by JJ Abrams.

With a cameo by Grant Kirkhope saying "trump sucks" or something.

 

[Henry Wyatt]

my movie pitch is, a fnaf movie where none of the robots move, and its literally just 2 hours of a guy looking through security footage, the movie relies on suspense that never delivers

Funnily enough, one of the Paper Mario games has a transgender character.

wish more minority characters were like that, not in the viewers face for woke points

 

[Red Hood]

Fire Emblem as gay porn

Based on the fangirls' perceptions that would be pretty accurate. Though, so would Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, and...well, everything.

 

[Smug Chuckler]

A Donkey Kong movie but Donkey Kong is played by the Nostalgia Critic in blackface.